A/N: well, as always im late lol, but here, have another 16k words chapter. yes, the kiss finally happens, i wasnt fooling around lol. i'm glad to see you being so enthusiastic in the comments here or on AO3, and i'm incredibly happy to hear that you llike my fanfic :) Even the one word comments mean everything to mean, because it means you've found time to write it. i love you all!!!

also, about the spin-offs, if i write them, they are going to be just one-shot spin-offs around 10k words (maybe more lol idk im bad at guessing, i always write more than intended), BUT i really dont know if I'll write them, i was asking mainly bcs i wanted to see which pairing do u want to see the most if i decided to write it.

however, i already have next chaptered fanfics in mind along with one one-shot i've been writing for a long time now but haven't had enough time to finish, SORRY. i'm really busy nowdays but i love writing chanbaek so i cant give up on that.

ALSO EXO COMEBACK IS IN A FEW DAYS IM NOT READY BUT AT THE SAME TIME IM READY THE TEASERS ARE KILLING ME AND THE SONGS FROM THE ALBUM ARE GONNA BE PERFECT I KNOW IT, FEEL FREE TO TALK TO ME ABOUT THE COMEBACK ON TUMBLR

 

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When Chanyeol comes back to Seoul after spending some time with Baekhyun in the brunet's hometown, he is determined to come clean and tell Jongdae that he is in love with Baekhyun. He doesn't want to beat around the bush or sugar-coat it - his plan is straight up say it. Now when he knows that he is really in love with the brunet and is hundred percent sure about it, there is nothing holding him back from telling his best friend, right?

With that in mind, he approaches Jongdae on 27th when he's back to work, barging into Jongdae's office like he always does. He flops himself on Jongdae's couch, ignoring his friend's yells - get your ing feet off the couch! - as he shoots him a smile. At that, Jongdae quietens down, raising one eyebrow at the CEO. "What's wrong with you?" Jongdae asks, not having a good feeling about Chanyeol grinning so weirdly at him.

"I have something to tell you," Chanyeol starts, keeping up his smile even though his cheeks are starting to hurt. Those two days he spent with Baekhyun were beyond amazing, and he had laughed so much that even now he feels like he simply can't stop when memories from the time they spent in Baekhyun's hometown come rushing back. 

"U-Uh, okay?" Jongdae doesn't know what to say. Chanyeol usually doesn't start their conversations like this, being the type to talk about bunch of things that aren't even important until he actually says what he came to say, and Jongdae wonders what made Chanyeol throw away this stupid habit. It must be really important, Jongdae thinks and walks over to Chanyeol, moving the giant's legs so he can sit there. 

"It's about Baekhyun," Chanyeol continues, and Jongdae narrows his eyes at the other man. 

"What with Baekhyun?" Jongdae asks hurriedly, and Chanyeol chuckles at Jongdae's tone. His friend sounds worried, but there isn't any reason for him to be like that. Chanyeol opens his mouth to reveal his secret, but Jongdae talks over him before he can get the first word out. "Is it about Seungho?"

Chanyeol furrows his brows, confused. "Who even is Seungho?" he asks, the name rolling off his tongue in distaste. It's not that he has something against the guy - how can he, Chanyeol doesn't even know him in the first place - but the CEO is annoyed that Jongdae is mentioning some guy when Chanyeol was one second away from telling him about his feelings for Baekhyun.

"It's Baekhyun's childhood friend, kind of," Jongdae says. "I mean, I know that Baekhyun and him were really good friends, inseparable even, but they stopped talking after Seungho had confessed to him and Baekhyun had rejected him," as Jongdae's explaining, Chanyeol feels something painful in his chest, as if his heart was being squeezed. So, that Seungho guy and Baekhyun were inseparable, but after the confession they stopped talking to each other? Just like that? "I thought that they saw each other, you know, because Seungho usually goes back to his hometown for Christmas too. At least that's what I've heard from Baekhyun." 

Did Baekhyun stopped talking to Seungho or was it Seungho who broke the contact because he couldn't get over being rejected? 

Chanyeol feels his heart falling into a black abyss when he thinks more about it. Baekhyun hasn't even mentioned Seungho to Chanyeol, not even once. Does that mean that Baekhyun has completely forgotten about the guy, or simply doesn't even want to think about him, nor talk about him? It's so weird because even Chanyeol mentions some of his old friends in conversations and he hasn't seen them in years, but Baekhyun really hadn't mentioned Seungho to Chanyeol, ever. 

It makes Chanyeol think that it was Baekhyun who stopped talking to Seungho, and Chanyeol might be a little over-dramatic, but he can't help wondering if Baekhyun would be able to drop Chanyeol like that if the CEO confessed to him and got rejected. After all, Chanyeol thought that Baekhyun might like him too, if all the shy smiles and touches are anything to go by. But maybe he was just being delusional. Baekhyun is the type of person who loves skinship, so Chanyeol shouldn't feel special when it comes to Baekhyun touching him. 

What if Baekhyun really stops talking to him after the confession, slowly drifting away and-

"But anyway, what did you want to tell me?" Jongdae interrupts his string of thoughts, and Chanyeol focuses his gaze on his friend again. Jongdae is smiling at him encouragingly and Chanyeol can also see the spark of curiosity in his eyes, but the CEO doesn't feel like coming clean with his feelings anymore, all his confidence gone at once. 

Now that he seems to have all kinds of thoughts rushing to him, Chanyeol remembers how Jongdae was totally against Chanyeol getting close to Baekhyun. His friend and him were having a hard time talking to each other because of Chanyeol's sudden obsession with Byun Baekhyun at that time, and Chanyeol wonders if it's clever to tell Jongdae about him being in love with the same person Jongdae told him to leave alone. 

Up until now, Chanyeol was determined to tell Jongdae about his love for Baekhyun, needing some kind of advice from his best friend, but now he doesn't feel so courageous. He can't understand how he didn't think of many possible bad outcomes that his confession can bring, and now when Chanyeol does, he doesn't understand how could he think it's so easy to just reveal his feelings. 

"I w-was.. uhm..." Chanyeol trails off. Should he really tell Jongdae? Is it a good idea? What if Jongdae gets angry at him, or even worse, think that he really is just playing with Baekhyun, even after all this time? Chanyeol knows he should have more trust in his best friend, but at this moment, he feels more worried and scared than trusting. 

"Yes?" Jongdae nudges his leg, getting slightly impatient. 

Gulping, Chanyeol pipes out. "It's nothing," with that, he quickly stands up, almost kicking Jongdae as he frees his legs from behind the guy's back. Straightening out his suit, Chanyeol strides to the door, his heart thumping so loud he can not only feel it, but hear it too. 

"What?" Jongdae stands up as well, ready to catch Chanyeol before the CEO can flee. "Wait, you were-"

"Jesus!" Jongdae is interrupted by a new voice, and his eyes fall on Minseok who is standing one meter away from the threshold, touching his chest with one hand and holding bunch of papers in the other. Shock is written all over his face, probably caused by Chanyeol who opened the door so fast that he almost hit the poor receptionist with it. Chanyeol immediately apologizes profoundly, knowing that if he opened the door just a second later, a bad incident could happen, but before Minseok can tell him that it's alright and that nothing happened, the CEO is already out of the room. 

 He can see Minseok asking, "What’s wrong with him?“ in the distance, but he just keeps walking away, not looking back even once as Jongdae yells at him to stop.

 

Jongdae tries to find out what Chanyeol wanted to tell him, but every time Jongdae brings up the topic, Chanyeol runs away or turns the topic elsewhere. Other times, when Jongdae is so close to getting it out of him, someone interrupts their conversation and ruins all the effort. Chanyeol is grateful to every person that interrupts the interrogating, thanking them with his whole heart in his mind. 

Chanyeol knows that he is acting cowardly, but he can't help it, really. He is just so incredibly afraid of the bad reaction he can get that he decides that it's better to just bottle up his feelings forever. And while he really wants to tell Jongdae about his feelings and ask for some help or some kind of advice, he is too scared to do so. He just hopes Jongdae will eventually give up. 

 

 

Lying in his bed alone at night when he can't sleep, Chanyeol's mind goes back to the time where Baekhyun and him were huddled up on a queen sized bed during his stay in Byun's residence, talking in hushed voices about random things, their voices quiet even when nobody was there to hear their exchange. It felt so intimate, being so close to each other, their legs touching from time to time as they talk and laugh. Chanyeol can clearly remember how Baekhyun's breath felt on his face and how beautiful Baekhyun's quiet laughter sounded in the otherwise silent room. 

Although they ended up sleeping in their own rooms in the end, Chanyeol still felt Baekhyun's presence even after the brunet was already gone, falling asleep in his bedroom across the hall. It was mostly because Baekhyun's scent was everywhere, and when Chanyeol closed his eyes, ready to sleep, the sweet smell of almond hit his nose and he felt like Baekhyun was still here beside him. Falling asleep never felt so good. 

Chanyeol wishes Baekhyun was here now too. Maybe he would be able to fall asleep faster. It's so strange that two months ago, Chanyeol felt so damn comfortable in his large bed, falling asleep after long day at work with smile on his face while being sprawled all over the mattress. And now? The bed feels so big and empty, less and less comfortable as days pass. Chanyeol had spent a lot of time lying in Baekhyun's small bad at the brunet's apartment, and even though there wasn't much place to move, it somehow felt better than Chanyeol's own bed. 

The bed would most likely feel less empty if Baekhyun was here. 

Chanyeol chuckles. "I'm such an idiot," he whispers, turning to the other side and closing his eyes again. 

Such foolish thoughts.

 

 

The more Chanyeol thinks about confessing to Baekhyun or even confessing his feelings for Baekhyun to Jongdae, the more miserable he feels.

It's already 29th, and Chanyeol has been dodging Jongdae's questions for almost two days now. His friends isn't giving up though, and Chanyeol is running out of excuses that he uses for turning the conversation elsewhere or simply dropping the topic completely. It takes effort, but Chanyeol is good at these things.

Sitting behind his table, going through some documents and eating random chocolate snacks he has found in kitchen, Chanyeol thinks about how long will Jongdae keep trying to get this secret out of him. It’s been two days, but Jongdae is as persistent as when Chanyeol fled his office for the first time, determined to find out about what Chanyeol had wanted to tell him that day.

He sighes, closing his eyes and leaning against his armchair, leaving his work b efor a while. He isn’t even concentrating as much as he should be, and maybe after a little break he will be more focused. In the meantime, he can think about how will he avoid Jongdae tomorrow, and-

"Hello, my dear friend,“ the door to his room are opened loudly, and Chanyeol jumps in his seat as he hears Jongdae’s overly cheerful voice. Confused, Chanyeol eyes the clock on the wall that are showing it’s already past 10pm, and wonders what the hell is Jongdae doing in his room – in his house – at such an hour. "I decided to pay you a visit.“

"How did you even-“

"Your mom let me in, of course. She was so happy to see me,“ Jongdae says as he jumps on Chanyeol’s bed, smiling slyly. Chanyeol can see that Jongdae isn’t here just for a visit. He came to get Chanyeol’s secret out of him today, knowing very well that Chanyeol can’t run away like this. "But anyway, what the are you wearing?“ pointing at Chanyeol with his index finger, Jongdae continues to insult his choice of clothes, "Like, I know you sometimes buy the most horrible things, but this is too much. You don’t even like this color.“

"It was a gift, shut up,“ Chanyeol mumbles, hugging himself and feelings the soft texture of his sweater.

"From whom? From your biggest enemy?“ Jongdae laughs at his own joke, but still looks curious of whom would give something so ugly to Chanyeol as a gift.

"From Baekhyun,“ Chanyeol spats, getting defensive. The thing is, he knows that the sweater is hideous. Baekhyun gave it to him knowing it too, thinking how funny it would be, but Chanyeol… kind of likes it. The material is so good and soft and he knows that it’s handmade too, which is making it million times better, the thought of Baekhyun asking his grandmother to knit it just for him making him feel incredibly happy. On the top of that, he feels comfortable and warm wearing the sweater, even though he knows he must look horrible dressed in it. He doesn’t mind because it’s a gift from Baekhyun.

Jongdae starts laughing right away, probably sharing Baekhyun’s thinking of how amazing it is to give Chanyeol a gift that’s meant to be a joke. Chanyeol lets him, since he is internaly laughing at it too. And maybe, he is laughing more at himself for being so whipped that he’s wearing the sweater just because it’s from Baekhyun while knowing that it’s just plainly horrible.

"It’s comfortable,“ Chanyeol defends himself, pursing his lips and throwing a random pen from his table at Jongdae, who doged in the last moment.  your good reflexes, Chanyeol thinks as he turns around in his chair and decides to pay attention to work instead of Jongdae. Maybe it will make his best friend go away, thinking it’s bad to disturb Chanyeol while he’s working.

But who is Chanyeol kidding, this is Jongdae, he would never leave just like that.

"Tell me the thing,“ Jongdae throws the pen back, and it hits Chanyeol in the shoulder before it drops to the ground. Closing his eyes, Chanyeol tries to calm himself down and not start a war with Jongdae. One time, they really were throwing pens at each other because both of them were too stubborn to stop, wanting to make the other surrender. Half of Chanyeol’s pens were broken after that, and he doesn’t really want to go through that again.

"I don’t know what you’re talking about,“ is what Chanyeol says while knowing very good what Jongdae is talking about. He also knows that playing stupid won’t get him anywhere, but he needs more time to think about what he’ll say – or more likely, what excuse he will use this time.

"Okay, we are going to do this my way then,“ Jongdae starts, and Chanyeol freezes. What does Jongdae mean by that? "I’ll guess, and you tell me if I’m right or not.“

"Jongdae-“

"Let’s start,“ Jongdae interrupts him, careless to what Chanyeol wants. Chanyeol just gulps, trying to act casual and unaffected while he’s anything but at this moment.

"Whatever,“ Chanyeol murmurs and digs in the papers on the table, busying himself so he doesn’t have to look at Jongdae, who is probably still having the same sly smile on his lips.

"So, you said it’s about Baekhyun,“ Chanyeol’s hold on the documents tightens. "You were with him for some time after Christmas too,“ not good, Chanyeol thinks. Jongdae can be really perceptive if he wants to, and the CEO doesn’t like where this is going at all. "I thought you maybe had an argument, but that’s bull because you were smiling before you ran away that day, so it must have been something good.“

Not really, now when I think about it, Chanyeol bitterly thinks in his head, but still doesn’t turn to Jongdae.

"God, this is actually harder then I expected,“ Jongdae sighs, and Chanyeol can hear him rolling around in bed. "Hey, was it that Baekhyun’s grandma liked you or something like that?“

"Of course she liked me, what’s not to like,“ Chanyeol snorts with fake confidence, not forgetting even for a second how scared he was to meet the old woman when he had visited. He was extremely close to running away at that time, but Chanyeol’s sure as hell not telling this to Jongdae.

"A lot,“ Jongdae deadpans, but he starts laughing when Chanyeol shoots him a glare and then turns back to his papers, shaking his head. Jongdae just loves to make fun of him. When the laughters dies, Jongdae continues in the guessing game, though, "This one is really stupid, but.. have you met someone during your stay in Baekhyun’s hometown? I know it’s not about Baekhyun, but it’s about his hometown, so-“

"No,“ Chanyeol answers immediately, not letting Jongdae finish his sentence. It’s true that on the second day of their stay there was a girl that kept touching him a lot and was very clingly, but Chanyeol didn’t like her one bit.

How can Chanyeol even look at someone in that way when Baekhyun is the only person he can think about?

"Ugh.. Okay, what about-no, that’s even more stupid… hm… Have you-no, definitely not…“ Chanyeol lets Jongdae talk to himself, glad that he doesn’t have to answer any questions, at least not until Jongdae finally decides what he wants to ask. It leaves Chanyeol time to prepare his excuses.

"Have you two gotten together?“ leaves Jongdae’s mouth in the end, and Chanyeol is too shocked at that moment to register the joking tone of Jongdae’s voice.

"How do you even know I like him?“ Chanyeol turns abruptly, wide eyes looking at his best friend.

Jongdae opens his mouth to say something more, probably crack another joke, but then he notices Chanyeol’s expression. The shock written all over his face looks too honest to be an act and Jongdae’s smile disappears when he realizes that Chanyeol is being serious right now. "Wait-.. what?“ Jongdae asks, getting up from the bed in a second. "It was a joke- I… You like Baekhyun?“

Chanyeol, finally getting the joke, tries to play it off. "No," he snorts, but it sounds fake even to his own ears. "Of course not."

"You said it, like, ten seconds ago," Jongdae accuses him, narrowing his eyes at Chanyeol dangerously.

"No."

"Okay, you only implied it, but still," correcting himself, Jongdae takes a step toward Chanyeol, probably unconsciously, but it still makes Chanyeol move away with his chair so the distance between them will remain the same.

"I didn't," Chanyeol shakes his head, but it's clear that Jongdae doesn't believe him at all. He is a terrible actor after all, and Jongdae knows him too good. This is bad.

"You like Baekhyun," Jongdae says, eyes wide. He brings his hand up and covers his mouth with it, looking like one of those over-dramatic girls in dramas. "I can't believe you ing like Baekhyun, that's-... Jesus, what?" 

Something about Jongdae's disbelieving tone is making Chanyeol pissed off. It sounds like he is going to scold Chanyeol for his feelings in a second, like he's doing something wrong. Is it so wrong to fall in love with Byun Baekhyun, or what? This is exactly what he's been afraid off. "So what if I like him?" Chanyeol spits out, more harshly than intended. "Is it such a problem?"

"Kind of?" Jongdae shakes his head, running a hand through his hair. "But I'm just.. surprised? Like, I know you've been acting like a couple for a while now, but I remember this guy you always hung out with during college and you were even kissing and stuff too, and you still didn't like him, so I thought- I don't really know what I thought, but you liking Baekhyun in that way-" Jongdae makes a pause, probably because he needs to get some oxygen in his lungs, and then breathes out, "You can't be serious."

"Why not?" Chanyeol snaps. "What if I actually do love Baekhyun, is-"

"You love him?!" Jongdae cuts him off, his eyebrows shooting up, his eyes widening even more. 

"So what?!" Chanyeol raises his voice, finally standing up from the chair and walking toward Jongdae until he's just a meter away from his friend. He is furious, and so damn disappointed in Jongdae right now. Shouldn't best friends be there to help you? Why is Jongdae acting like Chanyeol is doing something so bad, falling for Baekhyun?

"So what?" Jongdae mimics Chanyeol's words, tone mocking. "I'll tell you," Jongdae pauses, not afraid of Chanyeol even though the man is one head taller than him and currently not in a good mood. "Are you gonna confess to him?"

Chanyeol frowns, not understanding where is this going. This is about Chanyeol's - seemingly forbidden by Jongdae - feelings, not about confessing to Baekhyun. But still, he decides to answer, "Maybe? I don't know, but-"

"And then what?" Jongdae comes even closer, frustration in his eyes. They are shining with the same angry glint as Chanyeol's own. "If Baekhyun feels the same, are you going to date and ?"

The thought of Baekhyun liking him back is making his heart flutter with happiness, but this isn't the time to be giddy about one of the possible outcomes of his confession. "Well-"

"Because I remember you telling me you wouldn't want to date him," Jongdae cuts him off again, jabbing his finger in Chanyeol's chest painfully. "You told me you don't want anything serious because you don't want to have a relationship."

Yes, Chanyeol remembers it. He remembers it very well. Until he met and got to know Baekhyun, he was against having a serious relationship with anyone, getting disgusted by the thought of marriage or simply the thought of being bound to one person, but Baekhyun is different. Would it really be so different than it is now? After all, Jongdae said that they were acting like a couple already, so what would change? 

"A lot of things would change between you," Jongdae continues, as if he was reading Chanyeol's mind. Chanyeol wouldn't be surprised, knowing he is easy to read in a situation like this, letting his guard down and letting his emotions be out in the open for everyone to see. "You may act couple-y now, but if you are together, it's gonna be different."

"Yes, but-" 

Chanyeol is cut off again, and it's slowly but surely pissing him off that Jongdae isn't leaving him any time to say something too. "For one, you love to fool around, and it's all good, but you would be in a relationship. Can you really skip out on an opportunity when some guy that is exactly your type jumps you?"

"Of course," Chanyeol says immediately, and the seriousness of his tone makes Jongdae pause. The smaller looks up at the CEO with narrowed eyes, and for a second Chanyeol thinks that Jongdae finally sees that Chanyeol has eyes only for Baekhyun, but then Jongdae frowns again and the little bit of hope Chanyeol had is gone.

"Baekhyun needs someone who will protect him and love him, Chanyeol, someone that would be proudly showing him off so he can finally feel as appreciated as he deserves," Jongdae says, and Chanyeol knows where this is going. "Can you do that?" Before Chanyeol can answer, Jongdae continues. "I don't doubt you love him, if that's what you think. I believe you, and I know you would do anything to protect him," Jongdae pauses, and while the taller knows something else is coming, Chanyeol can't help but feel his anger slowly going away as he hears Jongdae telling him that he doesn't doubt his feelings and trusts him with protecting Baekhyun too. "But, Chanyeol, your parents won't approve of Baekhyun, you know it-"

"Your parents don't approve of Minseok neither, and that didn't stop you from falling for him," Chanyeol points out, and the anger in Jongdae's eyes is replaced by sadness. At that moment, Chanyeol knows he shouldn't have said it. 

He expects Jongdae to yell at him that Minseok should be left out of this conversation entirely, but Jongdae only smiles sadly and whispers, "It's... different." Chanyeol's heart sinks at the sight of Jongdae who looks so, so dejected. "Don't change the subject, though," Jongdae braces himself off quickly, but even when his voice is back to normal, Chanyeol is able to hear the sorrow behind the steady tone.  

The apology is on the tip of Chanyeol's tongue, but Jongdae starts talking again before Chanyeol can say sorry for mentioning Minseok, "What I meant was - you can't even hold his hand in public if you don't want the whole world to know you are together. And then, what about your parents? Would Baekhyun be okay with being treated as a secret?" Jongdae's tone isn't even angry anymore. Rather than frustrated with Chanyeol, he seems desperate to make his friend understand that being in a relationship with Baekhyun is not only going to be difficult, but Baekhyun can get hurt in the process too. His heart clenches painfully at the image of Baekhyun being sad because he has to be hidden from public eye.

However, Chanyeol is sure of his feelings, and he is not swayed. "I love Baekhyun," he says, and Jongdae retracts his finger from Chanyeol's chest in surprise, most likely not expecting such a statement to come out of Chanyeol's mouth. It's the first time Chanyeol has actually said it like that, so sure and without doubt. Blinking at his taller friend, Jongdae lets his mouth hang open as Chanyeol continues, finally having enough space to talk. "I know that if we end up together, I can't just hold his hand or kiss him in public, I know that. At least not now. But Jongdae, I'm gonna make him feel loved so much that until he feels bad about being treated like a secret, we're not going to be a secret anymore," Chanyeol feels bitter taste on his tongue as he says it, "I-I'll talk to my parents about it, too. Because," Chanyeol pauses, smiling despite being in this situation, "I really am in love with him. And I'm serious about him. I know he deserves the best, and I'm gonna do what it takes to make him feel appreciated and happy."

Even after saying all this, coming clean with his feelings and showing Jongdae just how serious he is about Baekhyun, Chanyeol feels like it isn't enough. He wants to tell Jongdae more, so much more, because these feeling have been hidden for too long and Chanyeol's heart is probably going to burst any second, but for now, Chanyeol leaves it like that. 

Then, Chanyeol remembers that he still doesn't know how Baekhyun feels about him, and there is a big possibility that Baekhyun will reject him if he decides to confess to him. He likes you too, is what Baekhyun's grandmother said, but is it really true? It's not like Jiyoo would lie, but he can never be sure. Baekhyun is too unpredictable, after all. "We're getting too worked up while Baekhyun probably doesn't even want me," Chanyeol voices his worries and sighs, all the fight leaving him. He moves away from Jongdae and falls on the bed, bouncing a little. 

A few seconds later, Jongdae does the same, almost hitting Chanyeol with his hand. There is a silence between them, but it doesn't feel awkward or tense. Chanyeol would think of it as comfortable silence, but he still feels the slightest bit worried. Jongdae's disapproval wouldn't change Chanyeol's feelings for Baekhyun, but still... Chanyeol would be more at ease if he knew his best friend is by his side and that he can go to Jongdae if he needs advice. 

"He does," Jongdae says quietly after a while, and Chanyeol turns his head to him in confusion. Understanding that Chanyeol doesn't get what he's said, he explains. "I mean, he does want you."

Chanyeol's heart starts beating extremely fast again and his breath hitches in his throat when he lets the words sink in. "How do you know?" he's trying to sound calm, but he fails miserably, unable to tame his emotions. The thought of Baekhyun liking him back for real... it's amazing. Two people saying the same thing can't be a coincidence, right? His confidence is slowly growing.

"I've known him for two years, Chanyeol, I can tell when he likes someone or not. Besides, it's the first time he likes someone for real too," Jongdae rolls his eyes, and Chanyeol wants to be serious, since this is a pretty serious conversation, but no matter how hard Chanyeol tries to fight the smile that's slowly finding its way to his face, a grin full of happiness and joy splits his face in two after only two seconds pass.

Baekhyun likes me too. It's all he can think about at this moment, and he feels as giddy as a teenage girl when she finds out about her crush liking her. However, this is so much more than a simple crush. Baekhyun's his first love. 

"I don't want him to get hurt Chanyeol, not again, and definitely not when he's... in love for the first time too," Chanyeol's smile disappears from his face and the taller looks over to Jongdae, who is just staring at the white ceiling of Chanyeol's bedroom, frowning slightly. While Jongdae already established that Baekhyun likes Chanyeol, saying that Baekhyun is in love with him is so much more. It's much more different from the simple like, and to tell with such confidence that Chanyeol is Baekhyun's first love also... is Jongdae for real now? 

Chanyeol knows Baekhyun has never been in love, they had talked about it, but... still.

Whatever the truth is, though, "I'm not going to hurt him," Chanyeol says, and Jongdae finally looks at him too, but he has his face on which makes Chanyeol frown. "I'm not," he repeats, kicking Jongdae's leg, the action more friendly than vicious. He is glad that Jongdae kicks him back - even though the kick is just a little bit stronger - because it means that they are okay. 

"Do you promise?" Jongdae asks, staring intensely into Chanyeol's eyes. Chanyeol can see how much Jongdae cares, and how he needs some kind of assurance that Chanyeol is not going to hurt one of his closest friends, knowing very well that Baekhyun is so fragile that he will stay broken after one more final blow, and there will be no way to piece him back together. 

"I promise," Chanyeol says, determined. He is definitely not going to hurt Baekhyun. He is going to protect him in every way possible, and he will make him feel like he is the most precious person in the world, because that's how Baekhyun deserves to feel. Loved and appreciated, because that's what he is. 

Jongdae visibly relaxes after Chanyeol's promise, knowing that his friend never breaks his promises. He just hopes that this isn't going to be the first promise Chanyeol will break. 

 

--

 

They are at Baekhyun's place, Baekhyun lying on his bed while Jongin is sitting with his back leaning against the wall, his fingers moving fast across the keyboard. The faint noises from television are filling the air along with the sound of Jongin's typing, both of them enjoying the comfortable silence while they do their own things. Baekhyun doesn't really pay attention to the television anymore, and to be honest he has stopped focusing on the movie a while ago even though he thought of it as interesting in the beginning. However, he knows that Jongin is doing something important, judging by his extremely serious expression, and Baekhyun doesn't want to disturb him, so he just stays quiet and lets his eyes roam around the room.

Eventually, they fall on a snow globe that is on his bedside table, and the corners of Baekhyun's lips are tugged upwards unconsciously to form a fond smile as he takes the globe in his hands. Shaking with it, the white snow inside it starts moving around and then continues to fall down slowly again, coming back to the ground. He repeats the action for at least seven times until he's satisfied, his brows orbs following the fake snowflakes. When the snow is settled again, Baekhyun takes time to appreciate the beauty of the miniature house with four trees that are inside the globe, admiring the details of the miniaturized landscape. 

The snow globe is the Christmas gift he had gotten from Chanyeol back when they were in Baekhyun's hometown, and the brunet has been playing with it since then. It makes Baekhyun chuckle when he remembers how nervous Chanyeol was when they were exchanging gifts, his fingers shaking slightly as he the snow globe into Baekhyun's smaller hands. Chanyeol even started rambling when Baekhyun just kept staring at his gift without saying anything, afraid that the brunet doesn't like it, while in reality Baekhyun liked it way too much. 

However, Baekhyun doesn't get to make fun of Chanyeol for being nervous because the truth is Baekhyun didn't exactly feel calm at that moment either. Before Christmas, Baekhyun was really looking forward to giving the gift to Chanyeol because, if Baekhyun can say so, his gift for the other man was perfection. The thing is, when the time for exchanging gifts came, Baekhyun was afraid that Chanyeol will be disappointed in his gift, even though the present was meant to be a joke right from the start. Baekhyun actually felt bad for giving Chanyeol such a crappy gift while Chanyeol gave him something so pretty and amazing, but it was too late to swap the present for something different.

Baekhyun still feels warmth spread through his body when the image of grinning Chanyeol comes to his mind and remembers the feeling of relief that came after Chanyeol said he likes the present. 

Lately, Baekhyun's been thinking about Chanyeol a lot.

He's been thinking about the way Chanyeol laughs with his whole body, hitting everything and everyone in his reach while shaking with laughter, sometimes even falling to the floor. Afterwards, Chanyeol would feel embarrassed about it, probably thinking that he looked like some kind of idiot, and he would avoid Baekhyun's eyes for a while. And while Baekhyun admits that Chanyeol looks really silly as he laughs like this, the brunet finds it more cute than anything else.

He's been thinking about how much Chanyeol cares for him, always making sure that Baekhyun is alright, whatever the situation is. Thanks to being so perceptive, he notices even the smallest things. For example, when Baekhyun shivers just the slightest bit, Chanyeol immediately asks if he is cold and makes sure to warm Baekhyun up - when they are outdoors, Chanyeol buys him a hot drink, and when they are indoors, Chanyeol brings him some blankets and makes warm tea.  These actions aren't only making his body feel warm, but also his heart. 

He's been thinking about the way that stupid giant always finds something to tease Baekhyun about, most of the time making fun of Baekhyun's height. After uttering some comments about Baekhyun being short, Chanyeol would step closer to him and laugh at how the brunet has to crane his neck up if he wants to hold eye-contact. In the beginning, Baekhyun had found it uncomfortable and annoying, but now he somehow likes Chanyeol looming over him with that stupid smirk on his face. 

He's been thinking about how he remembers so many things about Chanyeol, even the stupidest ones. Then, Baekhyun also knows about lots of Chanyeol's habits, good or bad. He especially loves how Chanyeol has a habit of bringing one of his hands up to his mouth when he's concentrating hard on something, drumming his fingers against his plump, pursed lips while his eyebrows are furrowed a bit. 

He knows... so many things about Chanyeol already, but Baekhyun feels like he still doesn't know enough. He still has this urge to get to know Chanyeol better, know more about the man, whether the things he learns about him are about his personality, habits, or simply his likes and dislikes. He just wants more... of Chanyeol.

After they came back from Baekhyun's hometown - which was three days ago - Baekhyun has decided to stop ignoring his feelings toward Chanyeol, ignoring the way his heart flutters every time Chanyeol as much as looks at him. Baekhyun has told himself that he can't act like a coward, afraid of his own feelings while he hasn't even figured them out yet. And with that in mind, Baekhyun chose to think about his newfound emotions more in order to sort out his thoughts and actually come to some conclusion. Then, when he knows what this feelings is for sure, just then Baekhyun will choose what to do.

However, Baekhyun is at figuring out things like that, mostly because he didn't have to deal with something like that in the past. Never in his life has Baekhyun felt his heart rate speed up so fast when someone touched him, and he had also never felt so nervous and yet so comfortable in someone's company. But now, with Chanyeol, it's different. Chanyeol is making Baekhyun feel things that he has never felt for sure, and Baekhyun isn't stupid enough to think that it doesn't mean a thing, but the question is - what exactly does it all mean? To which extent Baekhyun... likes Chanyeol?

Baekhyun has never been in love and while he thinks that this might be it, he can't be sure. He knows that he doesn't like Chanyeol the same way he does Jongin, or Jongdae, or whoever, but how strong is this feeling? 

Maybe it's time to ask for help instead of keep these thoughts bottled up. After all, he tried to figure it out all by himself, and he failed miserably. Sighing, Baekhyun thinks yeah, I should really ask for help.

"Jongin?" Baekhyun calls out to his friend, but his gaze stays glued to the snow globe in his hands. The grip on the globe tightens a little as Baekhyun is trying to think of how he should form his next question without it sounding weird.

"Hm?" Jongin hums, but doesn't stop typing on his laptop. For a moment, Baekhyun feels really bad for disturbing his friend while Jongin is obviously busy, but Baekhyun feels like waiting longer for the answers he so desperately needs would kill him, and so, he pushes the guilt away this once. 

Taking a deep breath, Baekhyun is glad that his courage didn't leave him before he could ask the question, "How did you know that you were in love with Kyungsoo?" 

Right when the question is out in the open, Baekhyun realizes that Jongin has stopped typing, the noise from the television now being the only sound that is between them. At this moment, as he knows that he has caught Jongin's attention fully, Baekhyun starts feeling nervous. He doesn't even have to look at Jongin to know that the white-haired man is staring at him with wide eyes in shock, his lips parted. 

After a short silence, Jongin finally speaks. "W-Where did this come from?" he asks, and Baekhyun just shrugs like it's not a big deal, like he hasn't been thinking about this question for days now. Of course, Baekhyun has heard some things about how love is supposed to feel, but hearing it from random people doesn't count, mostly because Baekhyun doesn't know that well enough to tell if they love their partner with all their hearts or not. But with Jongin, Baekhyun is sure. He knows that even though things between him and Kyungsoo are a bit difficult at the moment, Jongin loves Kyungsoo with all his heart and soul. 

"Just asking," Baekhyun replies nonchalantly, shaking the snow globe once more. Somehow, looking at the fake snowflakes inside it move around makes him a little bit calmer. "I'm curious."

"O-Oh, well..." Jongin trails off, and Baekhyun can tell that he isn't the only one in the room that is feeling nervous or awkward about this conversation. Jongin is the type to express love and affection with his actions, Baekhyun knows, that's why his friend is probably having a hard time finding the right words. Baekhyun is patient, happy that Jongin is giving it some thought before he starts talking, realizing the weight of his answers. "I, personally, knew that I was in love with Kyungsoo the moment he talked to me for the first time," Jongin says, and when Baekhyun turns to look at him, he sees the way Jongin is smiling sheepishly at the memory. When his friend feels Baekhyun's eyes at him, he quickly adds. "I know it's cheesy as hell, but I'm telling the truth."

"I'm not saying anything," Baekhyun defends himself.

"But I know that you are thinking it, so stop!" Jongin accuses Baekhyun, but the brunet doesn't try to defend himself this time. It's true that he thinks that it's too cheesy, after all. "Anyway," Jongin takes a deep breath, putting his laptop beside him carefully. "At that time, I thought it's only an innocent crush. I've had plenty of those, if you remember," oh, Baekhyun does. When they were younger, Jongin had crushes all the time, every month liking a different boy or a girl. "But after some time, I realized that this was something more because, as you know, a crush had always lasted just a few weeks for me... It was different with Kyungsoo." 

"How did you know?" Baekhyun presses curiously, clutching the snowball in his hands. Jongin looks like he's on cloud nine, all because of talking about his love for Kyungsoo, and Baekhyun wonders if he looks at least a little bit like this as he talks about Chanyeol. 

"Firstly, I felt really nervous every time he as much as looked at me," Jongin chuckles. "Like, when he looked at me with these big eyes of his, I felt nervous, but... it felt amazing at the same time. I can't describe it, but I know I didn't want him to look away. I wanted him to keep looking at me." 

Baekhyun kind of understands. He gets it because when Chanyeol looks at him with his expressive and large eyes, Baekhyun feels exactly what Jongin has described. He even feels a bit disappointed after Chanyeol averts his gaze after a long eye-contact. 

"Then, when he touched me, accidentally or not, my skin was on fire. And it felt too cold when he moved his hand away, that's why I seeked his touch so much," Jongin says, and this time again, Baekhyun understands. The way those big hands touch his skin are always leaving him with the feeling of being burnt, but it's a pain full of pleasure. And when Chanyeol lets go of him, Baekhyun craves more skin to skin contact. But this isn't really a proof that he's in love with Chanyeol - Baekhyun has always loved skinship, so.

That's different and you know it, a small voice whispers in his head, but before he can argue with himself, Jongin continues, "But it's not only about these things," Baekhyun raises one of his eyebrows, missing Jongin's point. The explanation comes within seconds. "When you are in love, you care for that person. You notice things about them, even the smallest ones. You want to make sure if they are comfortable, if they aren't too cold or too hot, if they've eaten enough, if they've drunk enough water, if they've had enough sleep, and so on."

Does Baekhyun care about things like that when it comes to Chanyeol? Of course he does. But he cares about all of his friends like that because Baekhyun likes them and don't want them to get hurt. Who doesn't like his friends?

"When they are happy, you are happy. When they are sad, you are sad, and you hate that it because you only want them to be feel good. Basically, when you are in love, you feel the same way your loved one feels. And you would much rather be in their shoes if they are having a hard time because you just can't stand seeing them sad," Baekhyun doesn't need time to think about this one, the answer is obvious. Most of the time, Baekhyun and Chanyeol are enjoying each others' company and are laughing at the most stupid things, but there are also times when Baekhyun just sits besides Chanyeol during evenings and watches the other male work his off, going through all kinds of papers and documents that are foreign to Baekhyun. At times like these, Chanyeol often looks tired and sleepy, and Baekhyun finds himself wishing that he was able to understand what do the documents mean so he could help Chanyeol, maybe do all the work for him if it meant that Chanyeol would finally get some rest. 

"Also, I've always felt like crap whenever I wasn't able to see Kyungsoo because even though we weren't separated for long, I missed him. That's why I bombarded him with messages," Jongin laughs a little. "He probably found me really annoying at that time," Not really, Baekhyun thinks, but leaves it to himself. Jongin might think that he was annoying with all the texts, but the truth is that while Kyungsoo pretended to be annoyed, Baekhyun saw him smiling before he was eagerly typing in the reply. "The thing is, when you love someone, you hate being separated and you want to spend as much time with them as possible."

Baekhyun doesn't even stop to think about that, clearly remembering how empty he felt when he was saying goodbye to Chanyeol before Christmas. They were hugging like idiots in the middle of the pavement as if Baekhyun was leaving for years, not just for a few days. However, that feeling of being separated from Chanyeol like this truly felt like he was leaving for years, if not forever. 

"But when you are together, they make you feel alive. Although Kyungsoo didn't talk much at first, I still felt like I'm having the best time of my life just because he was there beside me. It was even more amazing when he actually started opening up more. I felt so special," yeah, Baekhyun can relate.

For some time, Baekhyun felt really frustrated because while Chanyeol knew such personal things about Baekhyun, Baekhyun knew close to nothing about Chanyeol. One evening, Baekhyun even called him out for it, and Chanyeol just laughed at how angry Baekhyun was - which of course angered Baekhyun even more. Ask what you want to know, I'll tell you everything, Chanyeol said, and Baekhyun felt like he could cry from happiness because Chanyeol trusted him. 

They spent the evening with Baekhyun asking questions while Chanyeol answered every one of them, not once daring to refuse to answer the question even though it was clear that he was uncomfortable with some. 

"There was a time I was ready to give up on Kyungsoo," Jongin tells Baekhyun, his voice quieter now. Baekhyun knows about this, remembering how Jongin was having a dilemma, wondering if he should let Kyungsoo go, but in the end decided against it. Jongin made a good choice. "Because, you see, loving someone means that you want what's best for them, you want them to be happy. You are willing to sacrifice your own happiness for them, you are willing to let them go if you think that they are better of without you. Even if it hurts, you are willing to do it because your happiness isn't as important as your loved one." 

Baekhyun ponders if he would be able to do that, to let Chanyeol go just like that. If you knew that Chanyeol is better of without you, would you leave him? Baekhyun asks himself, gulping. Would he be selfish and refuse to let go, or would he throw his own happiness away if it meant Chanyeol could be happy instead of him? 

Thinking about it more, Baekhyun remembers that he already was in this position where he had to choose between letting Chanyeol go or staying with him. 

It was day or two after another photo of them appeared in news, rumors about them possibly-dating spreading like wild fire. Baekhyun knew that Chanyeol's father was angry at his son for hanging out with someone like Baekhyun, since Chanyeol trusted him enough to share his worries about this situation, and Baekhyun actually asked if they should stop meeting up. Chanyeol was extremely shocked, asking Baekhyun why would he even ask such a thing, as it if wasn't clear enough. 

So, yes, this is Baekhyun's answer. He was willing to let Chanyeol go, even if Baekhyun would be hurting himself, because he was afraid that Chanyeol can get in trouble. 

"Sometimes you even get jealous because the person you love is paying too much attention to someone else, and you want them to loo at you instead," Jongin pouts after saying this, and Baekhyun laughs a little at his friend's expression. He knows that Jongin is a jealous person by nature, and whenever Kyungsoo is throwing too much smiles at someone else, Jongin gets really clingy. Funny thing is that Jongin doesn't even realize that Kyungsoo is even more jealous than him, just because Kyungsoo hides it very well. 

"I-I don't really know what else to say? I mean, I know, but we would be talking about it for too long," just as Baekhyun's about to say that he doesn't mind talking about for years if needed, Jongin cuts him off at the first syllable. "Besides, I think you've already found your answer, or not?" Baekhyun is caught off guard, and his eyes are wide as he's looking into Jongin's chocolate orbs. His friend is looking back at him with a triumphant smile on his lips, and Baekhyun bites his lip nervously, not being fond of this intense gaze. "So, tell me, with whom are you in love, Byun Baekhyun?" 

I'm not in love with anyone! Is what Baekhyun wants to say, but he can't. The words are stuck in his throat, and he can't get them out, probably because he knows that he would be lying if he said them out loud. And after all this thinking and getting information from Jongin, it would be unfair to blurt out a lie. 

Or is it?

Is Baekhyun really in love with someone? Is he maybe- "Are you in love with Chanyeol?" Jongin asks before Baekhyun can even sort out his thoughts, and his eyes widen even more. He can't believe that Jongin said it so casually, as if he was asking about weather. And what's with his stupid smile?

"I-" Baekhyun starts, wanting to protest, but once again he stops himself. Be honest, Baekhyun. You have to be completely honest right now, he reminds himself. All of the interrogating, all of Jongin's efforts to tell him about love, Baekhyun doesn't want it to go to vain. He won't let this time be wasted.

And so, he thinks. He takes his time, and while Jongin watching him is making him slightly - or really - uncomfortable, Baekhyun tries to concentrate. 

All of the things Jongin has said... fit with his emotions, there is no dying that. But Baekhyun used to feel like his skin was burning when one of his previous boyfriends touched him, and his heart raced from time to time too. 

Stupid, that's different, a voice in his head says, you were going to have with them, it was just lust. Nothing more.

Was it, though? There were times when- Still, it wasn't as intense as with Chanyeol. The same voice pops up in his head again, and Baekhyun groans, shaking with the snow globe in his hands in frustration, averting his eyes from Jongin to look at it. The voice is right. He might have felt some part of these emotions in the past, but with Chanyeol he feels like this all the time, without any break. 

"I-uhm," Baekhyun sighs, frustrated. Why are feelings so complicated? Why is love so complicated? Just admit it already. Closing his eyes, Baekhyun opens his mouth again, and this time he makes a promise to himself to actually give Jongin an answer. Here it goes, "I think so..." It's might not seem like much, but for Baekhyun it's a huge step. More than huge. "But isn't love a pretty strong word? I would say like is more appro-"

"I would have never thought that Park Chanyeol would be your first love," Jongin cuts him off, and Baekhyun looks at him with a frown. "It's true that you've been acting like a couple for some time now, but two months back, I would laugh at anyone who would say that you will fall in love with him." 

"We weren't acting like a couple!" Baekhyun hits Jongin's thigh, but deep down he knows that Jongin is right. Not only about them acting a bit like a couple, but also about the second half of his sentence. Still, Baekhyun feels flustered when Jongin puts it like that. 

"Oh, come on, Baek, don't be like that," Jongin pouts and scoots closer to him, throwing one leg over Baekhyun's stomach, cuddling up to his smaller friend. Baekhyun is about to throw him off, but then Jongin asks another question, "How do you feel?"

"Huh?"

"You are in love for the first time," Jongin clarifies, and Baekhyun feels deep red blush spreading over his face. You are in love, it makes Baekhyun feel so flustered for some reason, and Baekhyun feels weird because how can one simple statement make him feel like this? It's a big deal, of course it is, being in love for the first time in your life, but Baekhyun would really appreciate it if Jongin just stopped repeating it over and over again. "How does it feel, then?"

True, how does it feel? 

Baekhyun wonders what's so different after the realization about him.. being in love with Park Chanyeol. He doesn't feel like a burden was taken off his shoulder, instead, "I'm afraid," Baekhyun voices out his thoughts, gripping the snow globe tighter in his hand. Because, what's good is it for Baekhyun to realize his feelings when Park Chanyeol most likely doesn't feel the same? From the start, he has wanted Baekhyun for his body, and after Baekhyun rejected him completely in ual way, they became friends. But would Chanyeol wants to be with him, like... be with him? Not just because of , but because he likes Baekhyun? 

Still, "But it kind of feels good too," Baekhyun says eventually. 

The thing is, even after Baekhyun realized his feelings, he doesn't feel ready to make a move. After admitting that being in love feels partly good, Baekhyun wants to cherish this feeling for a while. He is in love for the first time, for god's sake, and he wants to be happy in love for some time, just enjoying this new feeling.

What can possibly happen to ruin it all? 

For one, Chanyeol is most likely not in love with Baekhyun and being rejected so soon would be too much.

However, the problem is... even if he wasn't rejected, Baekhyun doesn't think that he is ready to date again. Yes, he... loves Chanyeol - it's still hard for Baekhyun to think about it like that - but Baekhyun's not ready for another failed relationship. Especially not ready for this relationship to fail miserably. Dating is just too complicated and Baekhyun has never been able to do it properly, so what if Chanyeol realizes after some time that Baekhyun is a ty boyfriend and breaks up with him? 

No, Baekhyun wouldn't take that well. Baekhyun doesn't want to risk it so soon.

For now, he doesn't want to even think of dating. He just wants to enjoy being in love for the first time. 

 

--

 

It's finally the 31st of December, and people are beyond excited for the new year to come, already making plans for tonight. Some are going to celebrate with family, some with their loved some, some with their closest friends, and Chanyeol... he is going to a party. 

He's kind of celebrating with his closest friend too because the CEO has invited Kyungsoo, Jongin, Sehun and Baekhyun to come too - Jongdae was already invited along with Chanyeol, of course. At first, he was afraid that they would refuse since he has heard from Jongdae that the four of them usually celebrate together, but in the end everyone agreed to go. Jongin was especially ecstatic, Kyungsoo not so much, Sehun was happy but not Jongin-level happy, and Baekhyun was... really neutral about it. Chanyeol felt kind of stupid for being so excited to invite all of them when Baekhyun showed close to none enthusiasm, but Jongin told him not to mind Baekhyun. Because of reasons, Jongin has said, but when Chanyeol asked him to specify, Jongin just smiled at him in a strange way and returned back to Kyungsoo. 

During the last day of the year, Chanyeol always tends to be quite sentimental, looking back at the 365 days that passed so slow but so fast at the same time. He thinks about all the things that had happen during the year and about all the changes that this year brought. This year, he thinks about a lot of things related to work, since the family company is doing really good and Chanyeol feels really proud of himself, but of his workers too. 

However, he can't deny that ninety percent of his mind is still coming back to meeting Jongin, Kyungsoo and Sehun. While Kyungsoo is still looking at Chanyeol with a distrustful look from time to time, Chanyeol really gets along with Jongin and Kyungsoo. It's kind of funny because Chanyeol remember his first encounter with Jongin - the guy throwing daggers at him with that fierce look in his eyes when Chanyeol offered to take care of Baekhyun when the brunet fainted. He thought that Baekhyun's best friend is going to hate him forever, and it was a such a big surprise when the two of them started to get along.

After that came Sehun, who Chanyeol didn't like for some unknown reason at first. Okay, now when Chanyeol came to terms with his feeling toward Baekhyun, he knows why he didn't really like Sehun that much in the beginning, but that aside, Chanyeol is really glad that he was able to meet the dancer. Sehun and him became friends so quickly it's shocking to Chanyeol even now, to be honest. And while he likes Jongin very much - and Kyungsoo kind of too - Sehun is the only one whom Chanyeol actually hung out when he was free and Baekhyun was still in work. 

And then there is Baekhyun. Baekhyun, whom Chanyeol hadn't met in a very good moment. That coffee incident is still vivid in his memories, and Chanyeol remembers how angry he then. At that time, he wanted to kill Baekhyun on spot for being so annoying and also for ruining his shirt, but after they parted way Chanyeol never thought that he will meet the guy again, nor fall in love with him. 

Those two past two months were a roller-coaster ride for Chanyeol, but he doesn't regret it one bit. For the first time in his life, he was being able to feel how it is to fall in love thanks to Baekhyun, and Chanyeol finds himself smiling while thinking of how far they've gotten. 

Chanyeol still wants to slap himself for acting like jerk to Baekhyun during the first weeks of them knowing each other, feeling embarrassed for his stupid ual comments. But really, he wanted to get into Baekhyun's pants so much, and Chanyeol thought that if he acted all confident he would be able to make Baekhyun give in. Oh, how wrong he was. Along with these moments, he wants to forget about the time when he leaned in to kiss Baekhyun after their first night out, still remembering clearly the disappointment in Baekhyun's eyes. 

At that time, he really was stupid, and he hates himself for disappointing Baekhyun so much. He is glad that they somehow made it work and became such good friends. 

It's funny, how greedy Chanyeol truly is. First, he wanted only Baekhyun's body, then his forgiveness, friendship and trust, and if it wasn't enough, now he wants Baekhyun's heart too. And while he has Jongdae's approval now, he still feels like he doesn't deserve Baekhyun. 

Would Baekhyun even want him in the first place, though? It's-

No, Chanyeol reminds himself, stop thinking about these things today. Today, you are going to have a good time. 

Yeah, that's right. Today, Chanyeol is going to say goodbye to this year and celebrate the year that is about to come. No negative thoughts. There is no place for that today. And especially not now, when he has to hurry up if he wants to pick up Baekhyun on time. He can't be late like last time. 

With that in mind, Chanyeol finally grabs his wallet, phone and keys, and with yelling goodbye to his parents, he closes the door behind himself. It's pretty cold today, Chanyeol notices, but it's not like it's all that surprising when it's December. He just hopes Baekhyun won't choose be a fashion icon today instead of being dressed according to the weather. 

 

Well, Chanyeol's hoping was pretty pointless, since when Baekhyun walks out of the door of his apartment complex, the brunet is dressed more than lightly, in a colorful bomber jacket that is zipped down and is revealing the equally colorful shirt Baekhyun's wearing. He also has one of his tightest black jeans that make Chanyeol's eyes linger a little more on his thighs, and as if it wasn't enough, there is a choker around his delicious-looking, long neck. Chanyeol can't help but gulp, thinking about how good Baekhyun looks today. 

"If you don't want to compliment me, don't say anything," is what Baekhyun says as he slips into the passenger's seat, not even bothering to greet Chanyeol. Chanyeol sighs deeply and shakes his head at the other male, but while he is concerned for Baekhyun's health, he can't help but admire his looks. Baekhyun's put some make-up on as well, going for the y look again and ditching his cute side for the night again. 

"You look good," Chanyeol chokes out, starting the car and looking away from the brunet. He is sure that if he turned back to glance at Baekhyun, the man would be grinning at him, appreciating the compliment Chanyeol has given him. "But still, you are gonna get sick again."

"Oh, stop it, mom," Baekhyun rolls his eyes, hitting Chanyeol's thigh lightly before he gets more comfortable in his seat. The touch burns. "Besides, it's not like we are having the party outdoors, right?"

"True that," Chanyeol nods, but there is still some part of him that wants to throw duvet over Baekhyun to make sure the shorter won't get cold. It's almost pathetic, how much he cares. 

There is a silence for a moment while Chanyeol drives, but then Baekhyun speaks up again as he fiddles with his seatbelt. "Chanyeol?"

"Hm?"

"You look good, too," it's also kind of pathetic how his heart starts beating this fast when Baekhyun compliments him, but what to do, he can't change how his body reacts to Baekhyun. And he doesn't really want to. "But, here's a thing... uhm, you know-"

"Spill," Chanyeol interrupts him as he turns right. Luckily, he haven't had to stop because of any red light today yet, and call him stupid, but this is a sign of a good night. "But if you are going to say what I think you're going to say, then just don't."

"You can't ignore it, Chanyeol," Baekhyun says seriously, and from the corners of his eyes, Chanyeol can see the brunet folding his arms on his chest. He's sure the shorter is pouting too, as always. Honestly, Chanyeol doesn't know if he should be happy that he knew what Baekhyun was going to say, or be sad because Baekhyun is worrying about it again.

"That's what I'm gonna do. And you should too," Chanyeol is having none of it, not in the mood to open up this topic again.

The thing is, whenever they are going to a public place or somewhere where it's hundred percent sure that paparazzi are going to be there, Baekhyun gets extremely insecure, thinking that it can be bad for Chanyeol's reputation if they are seen together. Little does he know that paparazzi having photos of him and Baekhyun innocently walking side by side are much better than the photos they had took in the past, with Chanyeol being all over the person he was taking home that night. This is nothing compared to it. Just because Chanyeol's father rather sees his son making out with random people than seeing him hanging out with Baekhyun is kind of frustrating, but what's more frustrating is that Baekhyun seems to think so too. 

"Aren't you bothered by the rumors, at all?" Baekhyun asks, confusion clear in his tone. Truthfully, Chanyeol has forgotten to care about rumors going around him when he was maybe fifteen years old. The problem is, he is more concerned for Baekhyun, who just can't seem to shake off the fact that people are going to talk no matter what. And Chanyeol understands, since Baekhyun hasn't had to deal with these kind of problems, but he just wishes that Baekhyun would stop caring too.

Also, dating rumors about him and Baekhyun are making him more giddy than bothered.  

"No," Chanyeol answers. "Look, I don't see any reason in sacrificing our friendship for something as stupid as these rumors. Just-... Just stop thinking about it, please," he sighs, and for the first time he stops at the crossroads because of red light. Perfect. "I don't care about rumors, but I care about you. So let it go," Chanyeol hopes it doesn't sound as a confession but just as something close friends would say. He's not ready for any kind of confessing after what he heard about the thing that happened between that Seungho guy and Baekhyun.

Baekhyun is silent for a while again, and Chanyeol gulps nervously, trying to focus on the driving and the fact that Baekhyun isn't saying anything. 

The rest of the ride is quiet as well, and Chanyeol is so frustrated by it that he turns on the radio, hating how silent it has become. Being with Baekhyun in the car has never been like this - usually Baekhyun is the one to talk Chanyeol's ears off, or turn on the radio as he literally screams the song currently playing. It's just wrong when Baekhyun is quiet like this, and Chanyeol doesn't like it at all.

After ten minutes of complete silence, Chanyeol is already parking the car and turning it off, ready to open the doors when Baekhyun suddenly grabs his wrist gently, tugging on it. Chanyeol turns to him with a slight, confused frown on his face, but his expression softens as he looks into Baekhyun's eyes that are staring into his own intensely. He sees Baekhyun gulp before the brunet opens his mouth and says, "I care about you too." 

It's just a single sentence, but it sounds like there is so much behind it. Maybe Chanyeol is only being hopeful, but something is telling him that he is not, and it's mostly the strange glint in Baekhyun's brown orbs. 

"I'm sorry, I won't bring it up again," Baekhyun apologizes, and Chanyeol just shakes his head. He doesn't want Baekhyun apologizing for something like this. It's okay to be worried. Instead of an apology, Chanyeol would much rather hear him say that he won't think about these things again. Chanyeol promises to himself that he will make Baekhyun be careless about the whole paparazzi and rumors thing, but he knows it will take some time. 

"Don't apologize," Chanyeol says, and starts pulling away slightly. Baekhyun's expression falls a little when Chanyeol does that, his eyes following as the CEO's wrist slips from his hold, but is soon left speechless when Chanyeol takes hold of Baekhyun's smaller hand instead, squeezing it slightly. 

Chanyeol doesn't know why he's doing this and where is the sudden courage to just hold Baekhyun's hand in his coming from, and after a few short seconds he is ready to let go, afraid that he is overstepping his boundaries, but then he feels Baekhyun squeezing back. Chanyeol is almost dying at this point. 

They make eye-contact, an Chanyeol swears he feels a jolt of electricity going through his body when their eyes meet. Baekhyun is still looking at him a little shocked, but there is the strange glint in his eyes from before, and Chanyeol is frozen on spot. His whole body is on fire again, but the hand that is touching Baekhyun's is already burnt to ashes, he is sure. 

"I-" And then, as if god was against them, Baekhyun's ringtone pierces the air, and both of them, as if finally realizing what are they doing, let go of each others' hands quickly, looking anywhere but into the other's eyes. Chanyeol feels all the warmth disappearing as he moves his hand away, and he wonders if Baekhyun even knows what he's doing to Chanyeol. 

Baekhyun takes his phone out of his pocket with clumsy fingers. "It's Jongin," he says, glancing at Chanyeol nervously before he opens the passenger's door in hurry and steps out of the car. Chanyeol follows his suit, locking the car and then putting his hands in pockets of his long coat. "They are probably waiting for us," Baekhyun's voice is shaking slightly, and Chanyeol can tell that while the brunet might not feel the same as him at the moment, he is still somehow affected by what happened. 

Chanyeol, not wanting Baekhyun to feel stressed out because of the hand-touching accident, exclaims lightly, "We should hurry up, then. Don't want to leave them waiting, right?" he hopes that his voice is free of any unwanted emotions.

When Baekhyun looks at him, Chanyeol smiles brightly, wanting to worry in Baekhyun's eyes to disappear. He is glad when he succeeds. 

 

 

All of their friends are waiting for them at the entrance of the luxurious hotel, and while it isn't as grand as the one Chanyeol's party was held at, it still looks like even a glance will cost you a hundred dollars. As Chanyeol comes into view, the crowd of paparazzi that is being restrained by the guards get wild, and the flash of their cameras blind him for a while. Thinking it must be much worse for Baekhyun, he tries to shield the smaller with his body, quickly guiding him inside where they meet the rest of their crew. 

"How come they are doing this even today? Don't they have any family or friends?" Jongdae mutters as they go further into the hotel to escape the paparazzi's eyes completely. 

"Ask them," Sehun says while taking off his coat, looking around himself in interest. He looks the same as when they were at Chanyeol's birthday party. This time though, it's Jongin who is over-excited, already talking about his big the hotel is and how amazing and expensive it looks. Chanyeol just nods along with a smile on his face, understanding why it all must be so overwhelming, but isn't really interested in looking around that much. Every expensive hotel already looks the same as the last in Chanyeol's eyes. 

When they are gone from the paparazzi's vision, they finally start greeting each other, exchanging hugs and complimenting each other on their outfits and appearance as a whole. Chanyeol feels a slight pang of jealousy when Sehun's palm lingers a second too long on Baekhyun's hip, but remembering that friends is all these two are ever going to be according to Baekhyun's words, his jealousy dies down a little. It's still there though. 

He shouldn't even feel jealous like that, since Baekhyun doesn't belong to him in any way, but he can't help it. 

"I can't believe we can sleep over, here, without paying for it," Sehun says while looking at the key in his hand, shaking in disbelief. Looks like Jongdae already handed out the keys, Chanyeol thinks. 

"Also, all your expenses are covered as well, so you can eat whatever you want in your room and ," Jongdae adds as they walk over to the elevator. They decided to settle in their rooms before going to the ceremony hall where the party is at, wanting to get rid of their bags with clothes for sleeping. 

"Who is going to room with whom?" Sehun asks. They have three rooms for six people, meaning that they have to make groups of two. Jongin and Kyungsoo aren't even listening to the conversation, since the two of them are clearly going to room together, so the question was directed only on Jongdae, Baekhyun and Chanyeol. 

"I'll go with you," Baekhyun says, smiling at Sehun brightly and nudging his arm in a friendly way. Chanyeol wants to protest, but then he remembers that there is no reason for him to object, so he keeps quiet, accepting his fate. It's not like he doesn't want to room with Jongdae, they are best friends after all, but still.

Looking over at Jongdae, Chanyeol knows from the look his friend is giving him that Jongdae knows about his thoughts as well.

"Okay, then it's settled."

 

 

There are many people at the party, and Chanyeol couldn't expect anything less. Jiyong always throws the best parties and people never decline his invitation, as if it was a sin to skip out on something like this. 

Looking over at his friends, Chanyeol can see that they are amazed as well, even Kyungsoo who was keeping his emotions hidden until now. It doesn't take them long before they run off to different directions, Jongin dragging Kyungsoo away while Sehun takes Baekhyun by his elbow, guiding him to where the food is. Chanyeol's jealous and grumpy self kicks in, and Jongdea saying, "He is taking away your man," doesn't help at all. 

However, when Chanyeol turns to Jongdae to say something back to him, he feels long fingers circling his wrist. "Come on," Baekhyun's voice reaches his ears, and before he can say more, he is being taken away as well. He wants to grab a hold of Jongdae in the process as well, but his friend is already gone. Chanyeol sees him chatting with some woman in the distance, and by Jongdae's level of familiarity, he judges that it's one of his good friends. Good, Chanyeol thinks, he doesn't have to feel guilty then. 

And he is also glad that Jongdae is having fun even without Minseok here. The receptionist should show up during the evening, but only for a little while, since his family is really strict about spending New Year's Eve together. Chanyeol remembers Jongdae moping the whole day when he found out that Minseok can't come for more than than one hour. 

"Try this, it's delicious," Sehun says and s some kind of party in Chanyeol's mouth without asking if Chanyeol wants to try it beforehand, and like that, their adventure with food starts. 

 

 

During the evening, everyone is having fun.

Food adventures aside, every one of their group of friends meet a lot of new people, and even the inseparable couple of Jongin and Kyungsoo go their own ways for a while, finding people whom they've found interesting enough to talk to and have lengthy conversations with. Sehun disappears in the crowd too, leaving Baekhyun and Chanyeol alone for a while, the two of them standing in the corner with a plate of food while they laugh at people's outfit choices for today. 

But even that doesn't last long, since Chanyeol is dragged away by some people from his work, and before he can protest, Baekhyun is already taken away by Sehun who appeared out of nowhere. While Chanyeol is having a polite conversation with his business partners, he can't help but throw glances at Baekhyun and Sehun who are dancing on the dancefloor, grinding against each other. Chanyeol reminds himself that there is no reason for him to be jealous, but he can't help feeling uncomfortable while watching the two dancing like this. 

He tries to minimalize the glances thrown at the duo on the dancefloor so he won't look distracted and come off as impolite to his business partners, but he gets caught anyway.

"Distracted because your lover is dancing with someone, huh, Chanyeol?" comes the question, and Chanyeol turns back to his current company.

Shaking his head, he clear his throat and says, "We aren't together." Chanyeol is glad that his voice sounded steady.

"Oh?" another man raises eyebrows at Chanyeol, looking surprised. "You sure look like it."

"Please, Park Chanyeol is a wealthy man, he wouldn't date someone like.. that," a woman standing by her husband gestures to Baekhyun, and the CEO looks over to Baekhyun again without even thinking about it. The brunet is laughing at something Sehun must have done or said, dancing to the beat of the current song with ease. His black, tght jeans are leaving close to nothing to imagination, fitting him perfectly like a second skin. He is also wearing just the colorful shirt right now, since he ditched his bomber jacket somewhere during the eveing, probably on one of the chairs in the back.

Feeling as if someone was looking at him, Baekhyun averts his gaze from Sehun and looks around the room. When his eyes meet Chanyeol's, the man relaxes and smiles brightly at the CEO with that kind of smile that makes Chanyeol want to ditch everyone just so he can be together with Baekhyun, seeing this beautiful smile in close up, and then continues dancing as if he didn't make Chanyeol's heart explode.

"Don't be rude," the woman's husband hisses, but the woman just rolls her eyes, mumbling something under her breath. "I'm sorry for her." 

"It's fine," Chanyeol says as he turns back to them, gulping his champagne at once. "But if you want to talk like this about Baekhyun, I'll much rather go."

"Chan-"

"Happy new year," are Chanyeol's last words before he leaves the group behind with no hard feelings, not in the mood to listen to someone talking about Baekhyun. 

Seeing how Baekhyun is having so much fun with Sehun, he leaves the two of them be, and goes to find Jongdae. Maybe he will also be able to greet Minseok, since the receptionist should be coming any time now. Who knows, maybe Minseok is already here somewhere.

 

 

It's nearing midnight, and Chanyeol decides to get some fresh air, needing a little bit of space too. He finds himself standing on the balcony, staring at the night sky above him and at the lively Seoul under him. Unlike the hotel Chanyeol held his birthday party at, the ceremony hall at this hotel is on the top floor, so the view is truly beautiful. While Chanyeol isn't really fond of expensive hotels, since they just remind him of how much the hotel room is similar to his own bedroom at the place he calles home, he'll always love the view. It something Chanyeol will be fond of forever.

It's rather cold outside, his clothes not enough to shield him from the occasional wind and the usual cold winter weather, but for now, Chanyeol likes it better than the over-crowded ceremony hall. The laughter and chatter heard from indoors is muffled, and Chanyeol not only enjoys the cold breeze caressing his skin but also how quiet it is. He wouldn't mind if he celebrated new year on this balcony, in such a quiet and peaceful-

"Hey there," Chanyeol jumps a little as he feels the familiar voice and feels the painful smack on his back right after. Did Baekhyun really hit him just now? This is the worst way of greeting someone, really. 

"Hi," the taller greets Baekhyun back, and from the corners of his eyes he watches the way Baekhyun throws himself on the railing of the balcony without any fear of falling down, a gentle smile on his face as he stares in the distance. 

"The view is beautiful," Baekhyun muses, his eyes sparkling while he's watching the never sleeping Seoul. Chanyeol doesn't say anything, just nods, happy that Baekhyun enjoys the view as well, sharing his enthusiasm. However, Chanyeol thinks that Baekhyun is million times more beautiful than the view of Seoul during the night. He wants to say it too, but he doesn't. Jongdae says that Baekhyun likes him too, maybe is even in love with Chanyeol, but somehow, Chanyeol is afraid to make a serious move. 

During the car ride to the party, the hand touching accident, as he had decided to call it.. it wasn't really a serious moment. Not as serious as the ones they had shared before, their eye-contact more intimate than touches or words that could have been said. The only moment Chanyeol would think of as serious at this point would be... them kissing. Which is a nice thought, but mostly an unreachable goal.

"Are you enjoying the party?" Chanyeol settles for in the end, and his breath hitches when he feels Baekhyun's head falling on his shoulder, the sweet scent of Baekhyun hitting his nose as soon as he feels the brunet's hair tickling his neck. His heart is screaming at him to wrap an arm around Baekhyun's smaller body, but for some reason, he doesn't do it, leaving it hanging limp by his side. 

"It's amazing," Baekhyun laughs quietly, and Chanyeol doesn't even feel the winder breeze when Baekhyun's hot breath tickles his skin. "Lots of good food. I've met some interesting people, too. I also had fun dancing." 

Yeah, Chanyeol had definitely seen him having fun while dancing with Sehun... and then with some more unfamiliar people too. Chanyeol isn't surprised that Baekhyun had attracted a lot of people, the guy is extremely good looking of course, and his body is just sinful, but Chanyeol is still bitter about it. The last time he danced with Baekhyun was when he met the brunet at the nightclub Jongdae had dragged Chanyeol to, and that's it. He is jealous of everyone who gets the chance to dance with Baekhyun, and also jealous of people who get to touch Baekhyun during dancing with him. 

It's unfair. 

"Aren't you cold?" Chanyeol asks after eyeing Baekhyun's outfit, the shirt with caption now future too little for a weather like this. Chanyeol has a long sleeved button-up and he is cold, how can Baekhyun stand on the balcony without shivering at all? 

"Not really," Baekhyun shakes his head a little, but doesn't move away from Chanyeol, his body pressed against the CEO's tightly. Chanyeol just hopes that Baekhyun doesn't feel how hard Chanyeol's heart is beating, the closeness too much for the taller to handle. It's like this every time, but lately it got even worse. For example, now Chanyeol feels like his heart is going to fight its was through Chanyeol's ribs and skin and just burst out of his chest. And Baekhyun is completely clueless about it all. 

"Two minutes until midnight people!" both Baekhyun and Chanyeol turn around at the voice, their eyes falling on all the people that are starting to huddle up together in the hall, sharing excited laughs and smiles. 

"I can see Jongin and Kyungsoo, here, look," Baekhyun points a finger at the couple, and Chanyeol follows it. Soon enough, he's looking at the two, and he smiles without knowing at the sight of Jongin and Kyungsoo staring at each other so lovingly, whispering something to each others' ears every two seconds, standing so close that they are becoming one person. 

However, Jongin and Kyungsoo aren't the only couple in the room, not by far. There are people everywhere who are in their own little world with their loved one, and it's kind of cute, but Chanyeol can also see 'couples' that look like they met each other just today, and are far too... familiar with each other. Probably just one night stands. Chanyeol voices out his thoughts to Baekhyun, and Baekhyun chuckles, saying, "Maybe they are not just one night stands."

Chanyeol lets out a laugh, "Oh? So what are they? Future couples?"

"What if?" Baekhyun looks up at Chanyeol, shrugging his shoulders.

Chanyeol shakes his head after he rolls his eyes. "Do you really believe that you can find a lover at a New Years party? I bet that ninety percent of them will have and never see each other after that."

Baekhyun is silent for a while, and when Chanyeol turns his head to him after he doesn't hear some kind of remark after a few seconds, he sees Baekhyun looking deep in thought. When Chanyeol is about to nudge him and bring Baekhyun back to reality, the brunet finally speaks up, "One time, I asked my grandma why are people so desperate to get kissed by someone on New Years," Baekhyun pauses, his eyes darting from one couple to another, voice gentle. "And she told me some kind of saying, I don't remember it word by word, but the point of it was - the person you kiss on New Years is something like your soulmate."

"That's bull," Chanyeol says immediately, and when Baekhyun looks at him with a frown and ready to fight, Chanyeol brings his hands up in mock surrender. "Okay, sorry."

"See, I think it's true. Or rather, it would be nice if it was true," from the way Baekhyun talks about the saying, Chanyeol can see that he really likes it. Still, Chanyeol just thinks it's a load of crap people tell kids so they don't have to tell them darling, some people like to begin the new year with ing some random person. But since Baekhyun is so fond of it, Chanyeol tries to hold himself back. "Wouldn't it be nice, though? If it was true, I mean?"

"I guess," Chanyeol mumbles.

"Just think about it, Chanyeol - isn't it something like fate, when you find someone you like right when the new year is about to start?" Baekhyun asks and nudges Chanyeol, looking up at him with a smile, his eyes sparkling with child-like joy. Again, Chanyeol finds himself thinking how beautiful Baekhyun is, ethereal even. He can see that the brunet's eyes are a bit glassy and that his face is slightly pink color too, making it clear that Baekhyun's been drinking. But he is talking normally and his movements aren't as clumsy as they could be, so Chanyeol knows that he hadn't drunk a lot, maybe just a bit of champagne, but not any hard alcohol.  

"Thirty second ers!" yells the same voice from before, but this time nor Chanyeol or Baekhyun turn to look away from each other. They are holding eye-contact, like so many times before, but something is different today. Today, there is something in Baekhyun's eyes that wasn't there before. 

"So you think that the person you kiss on New Years is your soulmate or something?" Chanyeol asks to clarify, stepping closer to Baekhyun unconsciously. Baekhyun doesn't move away, not stepping back the slightest bit. He cranes his neck to look up at Chanyeol, nodding with certainty. 

"Yes, I do," Baekhyun says, smiling slightly. He looks serious about this, as if the saying was actually true. Chanyeol wants to laugh because it's such bull, but he can't, knowing it would hurt Baekhyun.

Standing so close to the smaller, Chanyeol has also the strongest urge to get rid of the pointless space between him and Baekhyun. Baekhyun, at this moment, doesn't look like he would be against it, lips slightly parted and eyes daring him to lean down and smash their lips together. 

"Let's count together! Ten!" someone screams in the distance, already counting down, that person's voice accompanied by bunch of others, but Chanyeol doesn't hear it clearly anymore. He doesn't hear anything, actually, all of the voices coming from indoors muffled and quiet. The only voice Chanyeol is able to hear now is the one that belongs to Baekhyun because even the quietest whisper from Baekhyun is loud enough to be heard over thousand of screaming voices in the distance. 

"Do you really believe in that bull?" Chanyeol wanted to phrase it differently, but he is always too quick to blurt out the first thing that comes to his mind when he's around Baekhyun, since his brain is not working properly in the presence of the brunet.

"Seven!...six!"

Baekhyun his lips and Chanyeol is going crazy at the sight, the urge to kiss the man even bigger now when his lips are wet and glistening in the dim lighting.

"I do," Baekhyun nods once again, and Chanyeol would swear that Baekhyun's gaze flickered to his lips. Chanyeol has been glancing at Baekhyun's pretty shaped lips for a few seconds now, but it's the first time Chanyeol sees Baekhyun doing the same. 

They meet each others' eyes once again, and there is an unspoken question in Chanyeol's eyes as he steps the tiniest bit closer to Baekhyun, violating the man's personal space even more, bringing his hand up and cupping Baekhyun's cheek in his large hand. The brunet's eyes close for a while, and Baekhyun leans into the touch. Chanyeol is able to feel the softness of Baekhyun's skin on his palm and it makes him bring up his left hand too, cupping the other side of his face.

Chanyeol gulps. Baekhyun's answer to his silent question is pretty clear, and Chanyeol hopes that he can live long enough to actually kiss Baekhyun because he truly feels like fainting now, as he's able to hold Baekhyun's face in his hands, their breaths synchronized and eyes locked. 

"Hundred percent?" Chanyeol leans down and now their noses are touching. 

"Three!...Two!"

"Yes," Baekhyun whispers hurriedly, leaning in too, but that small move is enough to make their lips brush and send shivers down Chanyeol's spine. Baekhyun is still holding eye-contact while their lips are touching ever so sightly, and Chanyeol can see the want in his small eyes. The same want is most likely seen in Chanyeol's own eyes as well. 

"One!"

Neither of them hear the Happy New Year as their lips finally meet in a kiss, too lost in each other to care about what's going on around them, as if they were the only ones on the whole wide world.

The kiss is slow but nonetheless passionate, Baekhyun's soft lips moving against his as if they were made to be kissed by Chanyeol and nobody else, fitting perfectly. Chanyeol can feel Baekhyun's hands on his chest and for a fleeting moment he is afraid that Baekhyun is going to push him away, thinking that he had read the signs wrong. In a way Baekhyun does push him and Chanyeol is forced to take a step back, their lips parting for a second, but his back hits the railing soon after and Baekhyun doesn't wait before throwing himself on Chanyeol again, slanting their lips together in a needy kiss.

Chanyeol's mind is repeating Baekhyun's name over and over again, the brunet that is currently kissing him being the only thing he can think about right now. He's wanted to do that for so long, imagining how soft would Baekhyun's lips feel against his own, and now, finally, he is able to live his fantasy, but the reality is so much better than Chanyeol's dreams. The taller can hear the sound of his heart beating in his ears, but he doesn't care at all as he pours all of his emotions into the kiss, his arms now on Baekhyun's waist, pulling the brunet's body closer. The soft moan that escapes Baekhyun's lips as Chanyeol brings their bodies together is only telling Chanyeol that he's doing it right.

Baekhyun kisses back with the same enthusiasm, and Chanyeol swears he dies a little when Baekhyun bites slightly at his lower lip, and it right after, the feeling of Baekhyun's wet tongue on his lips enough to make Chanyeol want more. 

He doesn't even need to ask for permission to deepen their kiss, since Baekhyun complies immediately, and this time it's Chanyeol who moans shamelessly as their tongues meet, sliding against each other. Suddenly, Chanyeol feels Baekhyun's hands move up until they reach the taller's neck, and Chanyeol is truly sent over the edge as Baekhyun's slender fingers curl in fists in his hair, tugging slightly.  

Chanyeol understands what Baekhyun is trying to say, and after one last touch of their tongues, he breaks the kiss, breathing heavily and trying to get some oxygen into his lungs before he attacks Baekhyun's lips again. However, just as their lips are about to become one again, Baekhyun pulls away slightly. 

Chanyeol's heart drops.

Baekhyun is breathing heavily as well, looking up at him with half-lidded eyes, but Chanyeol sees hesitation in those brown orbs accompanied by incredible amount of need to taste Chanyeol's lips again. Is he going to push me away? Chanyeol thinks, scared. His hold on Baekhyun's hips unconsciously tightens, and that seems to be enough for Baekhyun to dive in for another kiss, any trace of hesitation gone as their lips meet half-way. 

There is no hesitation at all when Baekhyun whispers I love you between the kisses. 

There is finally no fear when Chanyeol whispers I love you too back.