Rosé

Tick.

Tock.

5:26 A.M.

The sun's about to be up, yet I haven't been successful in sneaking in some Zs since I got home around two hours ago. Normally, I'll just hit the sack and immediately go to sleep.

So that's what I did.

Or at least what I tried. But here I am on my bed, still snuck in my cozy blanket with my eyes wide open as a 24/7 convenience store.

This shouldn't be a problem since I'm a writer and I write according to my pace and mood. However, rehearsal for today is going to start in 5 hours. Yes, I'm not obliged to attend every one of them, but, I want to see... I want to see Ju--uh, just everyone and, uh, everything! The, uh, show, how it's going, uh yes that's it. Just that.

Seriously, I should go to dreamland now.

Like the real dreamland, not this daydreaming I've been doing since I lied on the bed. Ha. But I can't help it. My mind has a mind of its own. It keeps on drifting back to everything that happened last night. 

We hugged, tightly (but that was only because you were scared Rosé).

Our hands were clasped together (again, because you couldn't see anything).

We talked. Deep. Personal. I opened up to him, in a way I have never really opened up to someone before that fast. Sure, maybe it was the dark that made it easier. The dark that doesn't let me catch eyes that are quick to judge, mouths that consent you yet their fake expressions say otherwise. The dark that's more comfortable than anything else. So maybe it was just that.

But maybe.

Just maybe.

Maybe it was him.

Something about him just felt different. Jungkook... sure Jungkook and I started at the wrong foot. But when we got over it, and actually talked, it felt nice. Nice enough to make my heart race all through the night (I just wish his hearing isn't as clear as his eyesight).

Jungkook...

It's been years since someone truly listened to me, took my words into their ears as if all I was saying really mattered. He never interrupted me and just responded with soothing words and light jokes that comforted me when I was on the brink of tears.

Last night, everything just felt right. 

He felt right.

Wait.

Do I... Do I like Jungkook?

No. That's just too fast. Weren't we even enemies before last night? Last night was just--it just happened that we were the two people who got locked up together. Anyone in that situation would get closer. That's it. I mean yeah, I did think of him as a really cute guy and his smiles are just... But I don't even really know him, so how can I like him? And it's not like he likes me. That's just impossible! He's obviously into Lisa.

Lisa who just has to be really pretty, cute and is like the human version of Powerpuff Girl's Bubbles. And she even dances so well! Why does she have to be nearly perfect? And why am I getting upset with this? It's as if I'm jealous--when I'm not. I'm not. I don't like Jungkook. I don't.

Ugh!

Why can't I stop thinking about this nonsense? I check the time, 7:38 A.M. There's no way I'll be able to sleep anymore.

Currently on my second cup of coffee (or is it the third), I sit alone in the first row of the Grand Theatre, braiding and unbraiding my hair while watching the stage managers prepare for the rehearsal, mainly Jin and Jisoo.

"I'm really just clinging on my fingertips till this show's over so I don't have to work with them anymore," SinB sits beside me while looking at the couple sourly.

"They're annoyingly cute, aren't they?"

"You mean disgusting," SinB gagged.

"I don't get you," I face her. She thinks she'll be able to cover up her envy with her pretentious dark perspective on love but I know her better. "It's not like no one's pursuing you; there's like a long line of guys out there waiting for you to entertain them (which I am not envious at all, swear)."

She chews on her lips, "I just--"

"Wait," I interrupt her sentence that's obviously never going to be finished anyway. "Weren't you into that guy that got in the same year with you? The one from Hong Kong! What happened to that?"

"Nothing," she begins to look sullen.

"I thought you guys were going to get together for sure based on your stories." Every time SinB, Jennie and I facetime with each other, they'd tell me about their love stories so enthusiastically that even I felt really happy for them.

"I guess I forgot to tell you the part that he's a total douchebag, a womanizing machine." Ooh. Seems like she isn't over it. "Anyway, why are you so early?"

"Couldn't sleep," I sip on my coffee.

SinB sighs and takes my almost finished cup, "Take it easy on the coffee, it's your fourth already." She then leaves to join Jisoo and Jin.

Fourth? That explains my tingling nerves.

Anyway, how long do I have to wait? I'm getting antsy already (and regretting the cups of coffee I drowned). What am I even waiting for? The rehearsal. Yes, the rehearsal. I'm just really excited about it. 

That, and not Jungkook.

Of course not him. I totally wasn't waiting for him because I didn't want to see him (badly). That's why the moment I see the door open to reveal a fresh-looking Jungkook, my heart races, my cheeks flush, and my happy hormones jump all over my body... 

Not. 

Of course not. I'm totally not feeling anything because I don't feel anything for him. Right. Nothing Rosé because you're not into him (Get convinced already Rosé, you're not into him so calm your heart down!).

But what's this? What is this emotion surging through my veins as I see him come in with Lisa, laughing very sweetly, his smiling eyes never leaving her? I get irritated even further as I notice that she's wearing the very same coat Jungkook had on yesterday (Why do I know that?). And then to make things matter worse, she fixes his hair and the biggest smile I've ever seen from him plasters on his face.

"Don't be so obvious." I flinch as I get startled by the sudden voice to my ear.

I look at the intruder and roll my eyes at her, "I'm not jealous Jennie."

"Woah there honey, I didn't say that," she says in a smug expression.

"But you were implying that," I open my laptop instead and type furiously on my new story. Just for the record, I'm not mad because I'm jealous, because I obviously am not. It's the coffee that's making me too sensitive. It's the coffee that's making me mad because of Jennie's assumptions. Yes. Just the coffee.

"Of course," she flashes me her infamous gummy smile.

Getting uncomfortable with the topic, I ask Jennie a question instead. "So tell me about last night. I heard you got drunk. Really drunk," I emphasize, giving her a meaningful look.

She gulps and averts my eyes, "Now you're the one implying something."

"Jennie," I force her to look at me, "what did you say about me?"

"Nothing!" She then adds when she sees me unconvinced, "Nothing special. Just random funny events when we were still in Australia together."

"Like what?" I say sharply and glared at her even further.

"Uhm," Jennie fiddles with her fingers and bites on her lower lip, "like that one time I got you drunk on my 20th birthday..."

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