Jungkook

"You look...okay."

That's it Jungkook? The first time you see the girl you love the most in three years, and that's the only thing you say? Not even beautiful, just "okay"? . I was meant to be doomed.

"Of course I'm okay. Why wouldn't I be?" Rosé smiled beautifully but icily at me.

"No--I didn't meant--It's just--I just--"

"Jungkook," and for the first time tonight, she genuinely smiles at me, "It's been three years, I'm fine already."

Oh.

Hear that? Yeah, that's the sound of my heart breaking further than what I thought was possible.

Rosé

"I'm fine already"

Oh God no.

I am so not ing fine.

I am so far away from being fine.

How can I be fine when all these years I was in New York, I busied myself so hard just to forget every hurt, every love I gave away and every fiber of him that stuck to my deepest core, and now he just shows up in my life again looking so dashing as the first time I met him?! Meanwhile, I just look "okay"?

Excuse me.

If anything, my beauty has become even closer to perfection (I know that's cringey but I had to). My dark chocolate locks just scream confidence that's so y (for me at least), and my feather bangs that perfectly fall before my forehead elevates my adorableness too.

In conclusion, I've become the ultimate ex-girlfriend-you-regret-leaving-so-so-so-much.

That's why it's so irritating that my eyes still get attracted to his gorgeous face, my nose still gets intoxicated by his musky after-shower scent, my lips still crave every inch of him, and my heart still pounds hard with his mere presence.

I hate it.

I hate him.

That's why no matter how strong my physical (not emotional, not emotional too dear body) lust for him is ( you hormones), I won't let anything happen between us again. I won't let myself be vulnerable and feel anything for him again because the last time I did that, I found myself disconnected from everyone, from everything, even from myself.

I shake these needless thoughts of him and ask him instead, "How about you? Are you okay?"

His eyes widen at me as if he wasn't expecting a kind question from me. His pupils become frantic while he chews his lips as he tries to look for an answer, "I--uhm, I, uh--I'm n--I just," after a deep sigh, Jungkook looks straight to my eyes with a somber expression and says, "I'm--I'm okay."

Okay.

Okay.....

So he's not okay.

He's still not okay.....

That's good then.

Jungkook

I'm not okay.

I thought everything will be fine as long as I see her. I thought everything would go back to place, that we could be back to where we were before I messed up as long as she learns and understands what exactly happened three years ago. But I thought wrong.

She's clearly moved on. She is living her life to the fullest even without me. She's as radiant as the sun, as beautiful as the sunset. She's fresh. She looks content without us. She's happy. She looks happier.

So how can I persuade her to delve back into my life that's piled-up with mess since the day she left? I know that's stupid and selfish. But still, I just can't stop here. Imagining the rest of my life without her, I cannot simply stop here.

"Can we--"

"Ah! Jisoo," Rosé cuts me off abruptly and turns to her secret friend, as if she knows what I was about to say--knowing her, of course she does. She knows I want to talk and she's not going to give it to me. Of course. How foolish of me to think she's ready to forgive me or that I'm still worth a talk.

Ha. Lucky Jisoo, "Aigoo, I missed you so much Pasta!" Pasta? Why does Jisoo call her pasta? That's so weird....yet cute. Everything about her is endearing anyway.

"Oh I missed my fried chickin' girl too!" Fried Chickin' Girl? I love Rosé, but that's just totally weird--and that's also why I'll never get enough of her. "I miss having chi-maek sessions with you, we should totally go do that again!"

"And you should totally bring us with you guys too!" Jennie pouts at her best friend, acting ultra jealous that Rosé invited Jisoo on a hangout first before her.

"Of course, you girls should come too!" Rosé jumps giddily and clasps her hands in excitement.

"Ahem," Yoongi clears his throat loudly.

Rosé chortles at him, "You and Jackson can come too, okay?"

"Ahem," Jackson not-so subtly points his thumb at me.

Once Rosé looks at the direction of his finger, it is as if everything suddenly hushes. As soon as her eyes meet with my own, the world stops. All I can see is her, all I hear is her. All I can sense is her.

There's an awkward pause before her grin turns into a tiny smile, "Jungkook can come too."

Ahhhh.

I'm being healed. Just the sound of her voice speaking my name is enough to cure everything I felt. I want to run to her, to hug her, to kiss her without caring. My desire for her is becoming too much that I'm finding my right foot moving forward.

"And my Jin?" I stop whatever my body was planning to do. Right, we're not alone. I shouldn't make a scene. Besides, If I continued, I probably would have get slapped in front of everyone.

"Jin too," Rosé playfully rolls her eyes at Jisoo. "Anyone or anything else?"

"Yep, one more thing," SinB says in a matter-of-fact tone that makes everyone of us at our table snaps our head towards her. "Let get those chickens and beers now. I can't take any second of this party anymore!"

"Call!"

Rosé

Ah.

I have a bad feeling about this.

After we left the party and changed into comfortable clothes, we are now at a private room at a karaoke bar, and I'm really not feeling good about this. My instincts are telling me to run before I fall for another incoming . But some part of me wants to stay, wants to get drunk in this nostalgic scene.

Currently, Jennie and Suga are murdering the perfect duet of Chancellor and Lyn's I surrender. God, these two should just officially get together and break-up already if they're just going to indirectly hurt each other. At least then, it would be crystal clear between them.

Okay.

I'm really starting to regret my decision in coming to COA's anniversary event. It was so beyond me that I'll get stuck between two lovey-dovey couples. Jin and Jisoo are feeding each other chickens on my right, while Jackson and SinB are doing love shots on my other side. And just to make things worse, across me is no one else but Jungkook.

Ugh.

Dude.

I know I've become incredibly pretty, but you don't have to stare at me all night.

It's creepy, it's confusing, and it's making my heart waver which is not in the plan. In fact, you're not in my plan anymore so stop making my heart beat crazy!

Our staredown gets cut then when a wild drunk Jennie stands on the table between us. "Okay, I know you guys are kinda awkward right now, but I'm also drunk right now so I don't care," she then forcefully shoves the microphones to me and Jungkook, "I miss hearing your harmonies, so sing!"

The others are hooting as well encouraging us to sing, "Yeah, Jungkook and Rose, sing!"

"Boyeojwo! Boyeojwo!"

"Yahoo, Rosekook in the house!" Did Jisoo just make a couple nickname for us and shout it?

"Guys I don't--"

"Let's just do it," Jungkook puts his hand on my shoulder (which makes each tiny strand on my skin rise--betraying me you little ers, aren't you?). "You know they aren't going to stop unless we do it."

Ah.

This is so just like before.

Only now it's giving me a different kind of nervous feeling. The kind that makes you scared you'll feel something again.

"What are we even singing anyway?" I mumble, getting further annoyed the more I think about how absurd this situation is.

"Oh I got it covered already of course!" Jennie gummy-smiles as wide as her lips can stretch.

Argh, this is so going to be such a bad dejavu.

I refuse to look at any of them and just stares at my adorable Dr. Martens as I wait for the song to boom through the deafening speakers of the soundproof room.

Ha. I really don't think this is a good idea. Maybe I should just go. Maybe I should. Everyone, except Jungkook and I, are already too drunk anyway to remember this particular moment. I'll just secretly slip--

We don't talk anymore
We don't talk anymore
We don't talk anymore
Like we used to do...

Are you ing kidding me? I look at Jennie who just snorts and sticks her tongue out at my exasperated look, and I swear I'm so close to giving her the middle finger (if only my sweet conscience could follow through it).

'Cause even after all this time I still wonder
Why I can't move on
Just the way you did so easily...

I look at the owner of this passionate and soothing voice until I see him staring right through my sou