Jungkook

"Why aren't you answering my calls Jungkook? Why?!"

I stare at the girl in front of me screaming at me, surprised not only by her sudden appearance in front of my apartment, but by the way she looks too. Her blonde hair is a total mess, her heavy mascara is smeared all around her red puffy eyes, and though she has always been skinny, she looks like she hasn't had a bite for a week.

"Do you know how worried I was? I--I thought--I thought--," she said in between sniffs of tears, "I thought you were leaving me too."

And with that, Lisa broke down. All the tears she had been trying to fight pooled out from her eyes like an endless waterfall.

"Come here," I tell her as I put an arm around her shoulder and her inside towards the living room. Ah, good thing Jackson isn't coming home today or this would be very hard to explain.

Once we were both seated on the couch, I comfort her with a warm hug and her hair as I encourage her to speak her mind.

"He's--He's leaving me again Jungkook! He's leaving for good," Lisa says as she lets out another wail. "Why? Why is Taehyung leaving me again? He said--he said that we should just," she sniffs, "we should just break up for good and--and not to wait for him anymore because he won't be able to even think of me as soon as he's out of Korea."

Ha. The truth is, I kind of knew already that this was going to happen. Lisa has been talking to me about her recent arguments with Taehyung, about their disagreements regarding his life plans that seem to not include Lisa.

Taehyung has been once again offered a casting role for a theatre production overseas and this time, it's really a big production as it is going to be toured in 26 different countries. When these offers came to Taehyun, it wasn't really much of a dilemma as this has always been his dream, to travel around the world while doing his craft--if you're asking me why I know all of these, it's because he's a blabbermouth who keeps on telling stories even though I don't ask him to, even though I don't like him still.

However, I guess this time was different, because this time he has now someone by his side who wouldn't let him leave her side too. Lisa. Lisa who has been opposing this since he first told her of it in complete excitement. So, because of Lisa's great opposal to Taehyung's wishes, they've been bickering like cats and dogs. And well, I guess you know now who she runs to ever since they started fighting.

"He--He said before he was going to rethink about it be--because he said he loves me. B-b-but now, but now he--he says he's decided. And--and he's choosing his career over me Jungkook!"

"You have to underst--"

"I know Jungkook, I do understand!" Lisa snaps at me. "I understand that's why I can't--I can't beg him anymore to stay because I know it's what he wants the most, even more than me or us. I know!"

"Lisa..."

"I know. It just hurts that he never really thought of how it would be if he stays instead. I know he said that he would think about it, but I also know deep down that he's only saying that because he knows I'm not ready for him to leave me again."

"And how about me? I didn't leave Thailand all by myself, my whole family disapproving of my actions, leaving everything behind for him--just for him--so he could cut me out of his life for good! Does he even know how alone I felt living here in Korea, not knowing anyone and just waiting for him, for literally nothing? How scared I was to live in a city whose language I couldn't speak nor even understand at first? But all of those didn't matter if it meant a chance to meet him again. And now that we have found each other again, he--he's just going to leave me th-that easily again? As if I don't--Maybe I don't really mean anything to him," and Lisa cries her heart once again in my arms. "I love him Jungkook, I just love him. Is that so wrong of me?"

"No, there's nothing wrong with you," I say as I pat her back. "Have you ever told him about that? That in all honesty, you're just scared to lose him again and not to have him by your side because you love him?"

"I--believe me Jungkook, I tried. But I couldn't." Lisa looks up to me with her tired eyes that are still pouring out tears. "How can I tell him that when I could see the stern decision in his face? The annoyed and frustrated look he wears just by the second he sees me. How can I when I can feel that he's tired by just the mere presence of me?"

With that, I scoot closer to her and hug her even tighter. "I'm sorry to hear that Lisa, really sorry. Stop crying, you'll be fine. You'll be okay. And just like I promised, I'm here for you. I'll always be here for you, Lisa."

Lisa then wipes her cheeks and finally let's her eyes rest from swimming non-stop. "Really? Then tell me, why weren't you taking my calls since last night? Are you--are you getting sick of me too? Are you leaving me too?" Lisa's voice cracks and she sniffs as her tears threaten to fall again.

"No I'm not, Lisa. It's just that last night, I was with Ro--"

"Rosé!" Lisa yells, "It's always Rosé! You're always with Rosé! You promised me Jungkook, you promised me! Don't you remember? You promised me you'll be with me always, that you'll never ever leave me, even for Rosé. Right? Right?!"

"I know I did, but--"

"I don't think I'll be able to take it Jungkook if even you disappears in my life. If that happens...I--" Lisa looks at me meaningfully, "I too will disappear."

"I--uh--I uhm, okay. I promise," after I say that, Lisa's long-lost smile of hers starts to appear again. "By the way, did you hear something click a while ago? I feel like I heard something for sure, like the creak of the floor or something."

But Lisa just shakes her head. Oh well, I guess that was just nothing.

"By the way Jungkook. Thank you, really. For being by my side, for keeping your promises, for not letting anyone know about this. I don't know what would have happened to me already if not for you."

"It's nothing."

Rosé

Of course.

Of course it was her.

All those very important calls, those unexplainable I'm-sorry-I-have-to-cancel-our-date moments--all of those was for her.

I--I should have known. I should have--Oh come on Rosé. You knew. You knew there could be no other reason for him to neglect your feelings, for him to cannot say what all those texts are about. 

Of course I knew.

But was it too wrong of me to hope that my gut feeling would turn out false? I wanted to be mistaken; I wanted the outcome to be a situation where I'm ashamed with myself for having doubts in Jungkook. But why? Why am I more ashamed now that I got it all correct? That after all this time, even though I'm the one who has always been at his side, the one who makes him laugh, it's still her.

.

I shouldn't be crying right now. I still have a lot of things to do if I want to finish all of these quickly. If I want to--

"Rosieeeeeee~"

What the?

No.

He can't see me like this. I'm not allowing him to see me like this.

Just before the owner of the footsteps that are nearing my room gets to my bedroom door, I hurriedly wipe my tears and gets out quickly before he could even get a glimpse of the current state of my room. I then stand in front of my door, holding the doorknob like it held my life.

"Jungkook," I try to say nonchalantly but even I notice the wobbliness of my voice. I can't take this, even the sound of his name hurts.

"I haven't been able to get in touch with you since we went out two nights ago and well I guess I just miss you," he bashfully says in joy as he cups my cheek and quickly pecks me in the lips.

I turn my head away from him unconsciously then and an awkward silence surrounds us until he speaks again, "Are you crying?"

"No--I--uh, I was just watching a drama," please take that lie.

"Really?" Jungkook tilts his head, his lips pouting in curiosity, "What drama?"

My life, I wanted to say, but I reply instead, "Secret."

"I wanna see," Jungkook then tries to pull me away from the door and reach for the doorknob but I hold my place firmly.

"You can't."

"Why?"

"Because you can't," I start to get frustrated at him.

He just gazes at me with worry until his wolfish smile returns a