Jungkook

"She's coming back."

Splutter.

"'The dude!" Jackson bellows at me after getting his expensive shirt drenched by a mouth-spray of freezing iced americano. "Can't hold back your feelings, can you?"

"A--a--are you--are you sure?" I must be hearing it wrong. It has to be. I just--I just have probably gone delusional after waiting all this time. "Are you sure she's--"

"Yes, Jungkook," Jackson confirms as he tries to remove the coffee stain on his precious clothing with tissues. "Rosé is coming back."

Dugeun.

Dugeun dugeun dugeun dugeun dugeun dugeun dugeun

It's been three years, ing three long years of agony since she left me, and yet just hearing her name still makes my heart pound faster than a lightning strike. 

Rosé. The girl I could never forget no matter how much I tried. The girl who no matter how much I drowned myself in alcohol just to get a wink of sleep every night, still knocked on every dream, making me wish I would never wake up. But I would, and I guess that was her punishment for me.

Rising up from bed and knowing that I won't get to see her was such an evil routine I had to get used to, but never got accustomed to. In fact, it was too much that I almost gave up my career just so I could follow her to New York. But I couldn't. How can I when not even Jennie knows where the hell she is?

"No," Jennie sternly stated as she averted her gaze away from me who was kneeling before her, literally begging for Rosé's whereabouts who left for New York three months ago. 

"Please Jennie, I have to know," I plead, close to tears although I have no idea how that's possible as I'm quite sure I have dried my eyes out already during that night.

She scoffs and finally looks at me in a detestable manner, "You don't deserve it. You don't deserve her."

I know. I know that. "I absolutely know that Jennie. But I can't, I just can't let her go."

"But you already did," Jennie's gaze softens a bit as she sees the desperation that's written all over me.

Pause. I was lost for words; I didn't know how to respond because it was true. It was the truth I wished so hard that it wasn't.

"I warned you not to break her, didn't I?" Jennie fell on her knees before me, crying her heart out while punching me lightly, only because she has lost her energy with everything that's happened. "But you didn't listen at all. Why? Why?!"

I hugged Jennie despite the light punches she was throwing at me, "I'm a fool, I know. I know. And that's why I have to see her Jennie. I need her to know everything so she can forgive me. So she can understand why. Although to be honest, it's all just an excuse to see her again. I have to see her again Jennie." I held her tighter as another bucket of tears poured out from both of our eyes.

It took us a while before one of us could speak again, before I could find the strength to say, "I know it's my fault and that this is too thick-skinned of me, but what can I do? I love her Jennie, I just love her. I love her too much to just give up. So please. Please tell me where she is."

Jennie then wiped her tears and cupped my drenched face, "I know you do Jungkook, and that's why this is more frustrating for me. Why did this have to happen between you guys when you both clearly love each other? 'ing annoying."

"Still Jennie, please..."

"I'm sorry Jungkook," Jennie shook her head, "but the truth is, I don't know."

"How can you not know, you're--" 

"That's what makes me more upset!" Jennie shouts in frustration, "I'm her best friend but it's as if she doesn't trust me as well anymore. No, what's makes me mad more is that she totally lost the ability to trust anyone."

And I probably did that. No, I definitely did that to her. I burned every bridge of trust Rosé had for anyone. I ing did.

She then calmed herself down and resumed, "But I'm telling you the truth Jungkook. Whenever we talk--which is very rare already, she only recounts about how her day or her work went. Nothing about where she's staying or when she's coming back. I'm telling you, if I only knew, I would have visited her already. But I don't. I don't," and we continued to soak our faces in sadness since then.

"When?" Despite everything, still, I had to ask.

"Tomorrow."

"Tomorrow?!" Not even a week, not even in 2 days, but tomorrow? I'm not sure my heart is ready for that. Do I have good clothes? Is my haircut fine? Aish. It's not like she'll fall for me that easily again, not with what I did.

"Yes, tomorrow at Gimpo Airport. She'll arrive by 7 o'clock in the evening if her flight doesn't get delayed," Jackson says nonchalantly.

"Alright--wait, what? Gimpo?" I'm confused. Gimpo airport usually caters domestic or Tokyo flights only, and New York is definitely a far cry from that.

"Yeah. Seems like she was already back in Korea earlier this week. Jejudo, actually. Heard she took a secret vacation there alone." 

Alone in Jejudo huh. I mean that's very understandable, knowing how introverted she is. But she's back here, breathing the same air as I am and I didn't even have a clue? But Jackson does? "Why do you know all of this?"

"SinB," Jackson shrugs as if that should have been obvious, and it should have been. Of course, Rosé would have told her two closest friends Jennie and SinB about her return, and SinB would tell Jackson that because that's what couples do. Talk. Chat about anything under the sun. 

Yep, the two of them have reconciled and are now disgustingly officially dating each other. And yep, I'm envious of them. That sickening love, I used to have that too, with Rosé. Ha. I miss her.

"So, are you going?"

"Huh," I say, caught off-guard by his question.

"Are you going to see her?"

"That's not even a question, hyung."

"Yes or no?"

It's a simple question, isn't it? But why do I find myself saying, "Y-yeah. I guess. Maybe. No, uh, yes."

Jackson throws me a pitiful look, "You're scared aren't you?"

Scared? No. I'm terrified as hell. What if--what if she still despises me? What if she doesn't forgive me? Or worse, what if she has forgotten about me, all our times together? Am I really gonna be fine after that?

Pfft. Who am I kidding? I've never been fine since the day she left.

I sigh, "Yeah. I am, without a doubt. But I'd rather see her hate me or ignore me than not see her at all."

Jackson leans across the table and put a hand on my shoulder, giving me comfort and strength to see her again. I can do this. I can see her again and not regret it, even if she chooses not to let me in in her life anymore. Because, she is, and will always be, my life.

"Dude! We'll never get there in time--no, that. We'll never get there by tonight if you don't get your down here!"

Ow. Ow, ing ouch.

I trip over my pants for third time as I change my clothes for the hundredth time as I try to find the best outfit for this event. But who am I ing kidding, there's never going to be a perfect get-up in her eyes. But still, no harm in trying.

"Alright, what do you think?" I say out-of-breath as I ran without stopping for air to Jackson's car.

"Dude you look good in anything. The face and body makes for it already." Jackson continues once he sees my puzzled look, "If I was gay I would have totally jumped on you already, you know. But just thinking about all the girls that will cry when that happens, I decide to stay straight."

I gag on how unfiltered his mouth is and threaten him, "I'd love to see SinB's reaction when she hears about this."

"Meh, she's used to it already." A loud ringtone then fills the car, reminding us that it's not the time to kid around. "Oh, speaking of my lovely girlfriend," Jackson presses the loudspeaker, "Hey babe."

"Did you guys leave yet?"

"Nope. Just about to because Mr. Can't-live-without-her-but-still-exists-anyway literally his wardrobe before getting his here in my car."

"Okay. Good. Don--"

"What? What do you mean good?" I ask, what does she mean by good. Does...does Rosé not want to meet me?

"Well, apparently, Rosé got bored, booked and took an early flight today instead. So yeah, it's good you guys haven't gone yet because she's back in Seoul now."

"Oh," my heartbeat relaxes, returning to a normal pace and I'm not sure whether it's out of disappointment or relief. Disappointment that today won't be the day I meet her again, and relief that it's not today when everything will officially end.

But I guess Jackson has other plans and is more eager to see Rosé than me as he asks, "So where is she exactly now?"

SinB releases a sad puff of air, "That, I don't know too."

"Uhm, don't you guys have any plan to meet while she's here?" They must be. It's been three years, they should have plans. They have to.

"She just told us she'll call us once she has settled. So yeah, we don't have a definite plan yet. Sorry Jungkook."

"No, no. There's nothing for you to apologize," it's all my fault anyway that she even left. "Thanks for trying anyway."

"Alright, I promise to inform you when she does call. Okay?"

"Okay. Thanks, again."

"You..." SinB hesitates, "You two will be fine too."

"Just like us," Jackson adds.

"Yeah, thanks guys," I bite my lips close to bleeding to prevent the tears that were threatening to fall. "I ing hope so."

It's been five days and no one, not even Jennie has heard a thing or two from her since she arrived in Seoul. . Where are you Rosé? Do you hate me that much that you're not only hiding from me, but from everyone too?

"Dude, you ready?" Jackson knocks on my bedroom door, cutting off my thoughts yet again. "Jiyong hyung won't appreciate it if we're late, especially you."

"Yeah I'm almost done. Coming out in a minute," I respond back as I fix my shirt for the last time and check out myself in the mirror. Damn I look good in a suit--but who doesn't actually?

What's the occasion? CoA's having another of its themed anniversary event to celebrate its foundation. This year, the theme is Tony Awards Night. 

So anyway, the special reason why me of all