I flipped my pillow over for the millionth time tonight and slumped back on it, continuing to stare at my alarm clock.

1:02

I angrily groaned and buried my face into my pillow. I was growing irritated. For the past 2 months, sleeping became impossible for me. Something was missing, things just didn’t feel right; I couldn’t put my finger on it though. In a way I felt kind of… lonely

I did all I possibly could to gain the slightest bit of rest every night… but there’s no hope. This was getting very aggravating.

I stared at the plain, blank ceiling as the quietness of my apartment continued to fill my empty bedroom. No more sounds of my tossing and turning. Taking in a couple, slow breaths, I slowly closed my eyes and cleared my mind of all thoughts, attempting to gain a couple hours before I meet my boys the next morning.

Bit by bit, I fell into a peaceful rest.

Finally, in almost two months… I got  at least some sleep.

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Rubbing my tired eyes, I heard the ringing of chimes as I entered the small coffee shop that just opened up down the block. I spotted my boys (Junhyung, Kikwang, Doojoon, Dongwoon, and Hyunseung) at the back booth joking around and walked over to them, clearing my throat when I was near.

They all gazed up at me after I interrupted their laughter. “Well, well, well, isn’t it Yoseob. Haven’t seen you in a while buddy,” Kikwang greeted with a smile as Dongwoon moved in shoving Hyunseung in the process, making room for me.

“Just been a little busy lately,” I bluntly answered and lazily took a seat. A loud yawn escaped my lips as I did my best to cover it with my hand.

“Someone’s sleepy,” Junhyung joked and the group chuckled.

“I haven’t gotten much sleep, hyung,” I admitted and grabbed a pastry from the middle plate, taking a small bite.

Eh, not bad. I thought as I bit another small portion.

The chime from the front door jingled and the entire group looked up, except for me. I was still busy, chewing down my pastry to notice it.

“Uh, Yoseob,” Hyunseung called and I quickly looked up. He gestured behind me and I lazily turned around to meet eyes with… Hana.

I nearly choked on my pastry when I saw her waiting in line to order. She looked completely miserable. Her hair was down and her eyes were red and puffy, like she’d been crying. Her skin got paler and wore a straight face. Her eyes widened at the sight of me and I immediately turned around, feeling a little mortified. Trust me, seeing your ex in public for the first time in months isn’t really that swell.

She went to the front counter, ordering her coffee and took a seat at a small table by the window. I took a quick glance behind me and saw her tucking her silky brown hair behind her ear, continuing to play with her phone. I sighed as I remembered our breakup a couple months back, how I just left her crying there.

I uneasily stuffed the last piece of pastry and took a sip of Dongwoon’s coffee.

“Hey!” Dongwoon complained, of course I ignored it.

I was too focused on Hana. How lonely she looked. She looked like she’s been a total wreck and I knew it was all because of me. In a way, I was a complete mess without her too. I spent hours the past months wondering about her and I knew my sleeping problems were because she wasn’t there with me. However, I could never admit that, I’d seem weak and weak was the last thing I ever wanted to be.  

I continued to stare into space, in deep thought while my friends around me continued to chat about a movie that just came out. I looked up to see Doojoon staring at something behind me.

It was probably some hot girl who came in.

I turned to see the shop nearly empty with only Hana sitting there, sipping her coffee and completely focused on her phone. I peeked back to see a small smile presented on his face. I gulped as a jealous knot tied in my stomach.

Did Doojoon… like Hana?

No, he couldn’t. No, I mean they’re just friends, I hope. 

I took another glance at Hana… and my heart softened. It looked like she had lost her game and a pout appeared on her face as she madly slammed her phone on the table and took a sip of her coffee. I had to admit… she looked pretty cute. I chuckled at the sight and turned back to my boys who were all staring at me, fascination plastered all over their faces.

“Well, what do we have here? Are we checking out our ex, Yoseobie?” Kikwang teased and the entire table laughed.

I could feel my cheeks burn up as they turned a bright shade of pink. “N-no,” I stuttered and hid my embarrassed face.

“I have to admit though, even when her eyes are all swollen, she still does look cute,” Junhyung smirked. I kicked him under the table and he groaned.

He was right though, Hana always looked cute no matter what. She could wear the most hideous outfit in the world and still work it.

Aish, what am I thinking?I mentally slapped myself and continued to drink up the last bit of Dongwoon’s drink. He scoffed, but got over it and continued to scarf down the last of the pastries.

I heard the chimes go off and took a quick glimpse of Hana leaving. I quietly sighed and turned back to see Doojoon, still staring at her. I studied him carefully, seeing a little amazement in his eyes.

“What Yoseob?” Doojoon asked me as I immediately shook my head at his question.

“Nothing hyung,” I fibbed and took the last sip of Dongwoon’s coffee, pushing the empty cup to him. He glared at me, but willingly got up and out of the booth, throwing it away.

The jealous knot continued to stay in my stomach the rest of the day.

Soon… a little bit of worry entered my heart.

Hana………

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AUTHOR'S NOTE: 

Okay here's a little update. 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY YOSEOB~