I walked down the narrow pathway to the park, with my hands fully placed in my humungous sweatshirt pocket. The sky was clear, a beautiful day out, and the winds were calm and the sun was shining brightly.

Doojoon had called me up a couple hours back, asking me to meet him at the park during the afternoon. He said he wanted to talk to me about “things”, but he didn’t specify what. That of course, made me grow very curious. A part of me hoped it wasn’t about Hana, but then again, a part of me knew it was. The look on his face at the café said a lot.

The jealous knot in my stomach was loosening now, since it’s been a week since I’ve seen Hana. Still deep down, I know I still miss her; I’m just too cowardly to admit it.

No Yoseob stop… you broke up with her.

I immediately shook the thought of her out of my head and continued walking to the playground, where Doojoon told me to meet him. The walk lasted a good 10 minutes past all the couples having picnics and kids playing tag.

I gradually stopped when I saw the playground packed with little children and off to the side, I saw Doojoon. He was kneeling down to his niece and nephew, probably reminding them to be safe while playing. He kissed both their foreheads and they both happily ran off to the wild play area. He smiled and shook his head, looking like the perfect boy, caring, smart, and nice.

I scoffed; that got his attention. His gaze shifted over to me and the smile still continued on his face. He gestured me to come and I slowly walked over wearing a straight face, ignoring the rowdy children on the playground.

We both sat on an empty bench under a tree, where he had a good view of his niece and nephew. My hands still sat happily in my pockets while his were tapping the bench, nervously.

“So… Yoseob… um… I… wanted to talk to you about… um… things,” Doojoon timidly spoke while my eyes were fixed on the ground, casually.

“What things?” I asked, pretending to be interested in what he had to say.

“I-“he sighed, “I came here to talk to you about Hana,” he finally confessed.

I winced at his words; the mention of her name caught my full attention.

So I was right…

“W-what about her?” I warily asked, hoping he wouldn’t say what I thought he would. My eyes moved to him, he looked like he was about to panic.

“I wanted to ask you if… I could date Hana. You know, considering now that you guys aren’t together anymore and how you claim you’re over her. Seeing how depressed she seemed the other day, I want to be the one to glue her heart back together. I’ll cherish her better, I promise! I just… wanted to make sure you’re okay with it before I do,” he boldly let out.

No words came out of my mouth; I was completely speechless. He was just sitting there, staring at me with hopefulness filling his eyes whereas I was staring at him, with complete and utter shock.

No, I still love her… those words I desperately wanted to say, but I couldn’t. It’d make me look vulnerable, weak.

Minutes passed and I was still silent and I saw Doojoon’s eyes growing bleak. I couldn’t ponder up words to say, I was too concentrated on my upset heart. The jealous knot was, once again, growing in my stomach.

“You’re mad… I’m so sorry Yoseob; I shouldn’t have brought that up. I’m sorr-“

“Stop apologizing,” I coolly commanded, “I’m not that mad since… since there’s really nothing left of our relationship.”

I could feel Doojoon lighten up beside me by the massive smile developing on his face. He, of course, tried all he could to hide it. “S-so that’s a yes? I can ask her to be my girlfriend?” he gladly asked, looking like he’d won the lottery.

Although, Hana was more priceless than any amount of money.

I uneasily nodded and he could’ve exploded with exhilaration right then. I sighed as I felt my heart start to slowly start splitting.

“Is that it?” I coldly asked, wanting to leave and disperse back to my apartment; to be alone.

“Well actually…” Doojoon started and I lifted an eyebrow, questioning what else he might want from me. “I-I kinda wanted to ask you for some advice… on Hana. What’s she like? I want to know before I ask her out, so I can do it the way she prefers. And to know what she wants so she can be happy,” Doojoon stated.

I let out a heavy sigh as I shut my eyes, searching my brain for memories of Hana.

Hana, Hana, Hana….

“Well… first off, she’s very clumsy. The clumsiest person I’ve ever met actually,” I chuckled, thinking back to all the times Hana has tripped, fell, and panicked… it was cute. “Make sure you always look out for her, you know, catch her when she falls.”

Doojoon nodded and I continued, “She can be a stubborn person. Even so, in any arguments always listen to her and try to understand her. Also, never, ever raise your voice at her,” I thought back to all our disagreements, “Just take her, and hold her, kiss her even, it’ll melt away the pain and she’ll calm down.” Doojoon continued to nod. “In addition, never let her walk out on you. You’ll highly regret it.”

I pursed my lips and carried on, “She can’t drink much, and detests the lingering smell of cigarettes. It irritates her,” I paused and thought about the times where she’d scoff every time she saw someone smoke.

Going on, “She hates being alone, always be with her. Spend all the time you can with her. Hold her tight, and never let her go. Let her fall asleep on you; having her in your grasp feels very… remarkable.”

“Always remember her birthday; you should know it by heart,”

May 5^th

“Anniversaries as well,”

December 17^th

“She loves to give than to receive, so always do your best to amaze her with your present. Show her you care.”

I searched my brain for more, and soon enough, it was exploding with all our precious memories.

“S-she likes home cooked meals better than store bought.”

“She likes it when you sing to her before she sleeps.”

“She likes it when you call her ‘jagiya’.”

“She hates it when you pinch her cheeks,” I chuckled, “She says it ruins cheekbones.”

“Her favorite food is dukkbokki.”

“She loves anything pink or Hello Kitty.”

“Forehead kisses are her favorite.”

I revealed all I could remember about Hana. Even Doojoon himself was shocked on how much I knew. “Finally,” I stopped, “A-and most importantly, always remind her of how much you love her. Always.”  I though back to all the times we’ve said‘I love you’ to one another, each one, never failing to lighten my heart.

“And that’s it,” I finalized and pursed my lips. I had no clue why I told him all of this.

“Wow,” was all Doojoon could say, “I guess I’ll have to remember all of that,” he chuckled. A strained smile stretched across my face and I patted his shoulder. “Go get her,” I encouraged as those words burned through my mouth.

I knew that deep down; I’d be upset behind his back, wanting to beg him not to. I knew that once I saw her with someone else (especially someone as perfect as Doojoon) I wouldn’t be able to take it. Seeing her happy with someone else.

I had to keep cool, but I couldn’t endure it anymore. “I have to go,” I lied and quickly got up, brushing off my jeans. Trying all I could to hurry and leave.

“Leaving already?” Doojoon curiously asked.

“Uh, yeah I have… errands to do,” I fibbed, even though I was the world’s most terrible liar.

“Oh, okay,” Doojoon stated I knew he didn’t believe me, “Thank you Yoseob, for helping me.” He shot me his ‘melting’ smile. I nodded at him, pursing my lips for about the millionth time today.

 “Just… be a better boyfriend to her.”

Doojoon nodded reassuringly. “Okay, if that’s it then-“

“Bye,” I hastily finished off and backed away with another forced smile.

I began walking down the narrow path once again, back to my apartment, holding in the tears which were rapidly filling up my eyes. My speeded up my pace; I urgently needed to get home. My heart felt as if a gigantic bolder had hit it.

I should’ve never let you go Hana… I’m sorry…

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AUTHOR'S NOTE: 

Okay I'm sosososo sorry for not updating yesterday! I had practice! 

Here's a long chapter for you (: 

Hope you enjoyed!