To most, having a person you like is a blessing. No matter how ty or dreadful your day was, just one look or a simple glance at the person you like can already recharge your depleted battery. Honestly, it's like magic. A weird kind of magic, but hey, I'm not complaining. You can daydream about him/her all day and you'll never get bored of it; no matter how much you think of them. I guess you can call it an addiction. 

Nonetheless, there's still a negative side to everything. Somehow, a part of you knows that it is highly unlikely for the person you like to like you back. It amazes me how those long lasting married couples even found each other. I get frantic even at the mere thought of confessing my feelings for Jungkook to my friends. Personally, I never understood why people confess when you yourself already know that they probably won't like you back. Maybe it's because I feared rejection. Maybe even embarrassment. I wanted to be the perfect person in front of the person I like. I didn't want to make a fool out of myself. I didn't want to try so hard and later ending up with no results. It would only discourage myself more. It's okay if you don't have the same mindset as me. Everyone's view to a topic is different. This is just how I view it.

So, if you're already thinking about it then yes - I'm not confessing to Jungkook. I don't see the need of it, plus, I won't know how things will end up, and truthfully, that scares me the most. Not knowing what the future holds for you. There were times where I wanted to just live in the moment, you know? I wanted to live by the quote, "You Only Live Once". But I guess the devils hiding in me weren't having it. I admit. I'm a coward. I take things too cautiously, and honestly, it just makes me more broken and dysfunctional than I already am. Anyways, I'm already such a scaredy cat when telling my friends about my true feelings; how am I even supposed to confess to Jungkook?

Maybe, one day, when I have a strong will and determination to, I might confess. But chances of it happening is less than the chances of me ever understanding math lessons, so let's not get to it too soon. However, if I do suddenly happen to have such determination, what should I-

"CALLING FOR AHN HYE IN TO RETURN TO EARTH? IS HYE IN THERE?"

I snapped my mind back to reality and see a wild Jisoo flailing her arms in front of me.

"Um, what exactly are you doing?" I said as I gave her a weird look while Chaeyoung laughed.

Jisoo smiled at me. "Oh thank god, you're finally back on Earth. You really need to stop daydreaming so much or you might get into a car accident."

"Hey! Don't curse me out like that!" I pouted. "Aren't you supposed to be my friend?"

Jisoo chuckled. "I'm kidding, and anyways, I was just looking out for you. Be careful when you're outside alright?"

I waved it off. "I know, I know. I'll try not to."

It was nearing the end of January but honestly, I was wishing time could go on faster. I was mentally and physically exhausted by the amount of homeworks we were assigned to. Let's not forget that there were still additional classes after school, which are just a pain in the . 

Classes went by like a snail. I accidentally slept throughout some of the classes but I didn't regret it. I wasn't getting enough sleep and I blame it on school.

As soon as the school rings, signaling the end of school, I heaved a sigh of relief and went to meet Jisoo and Chaeyoung. I noticed they were deep in discussion as I arrived by our usual meeting spot which was by the entrance of the school.

"Hey, what are you guys talking about?"

Chaeyoung took a deep breath. "Okay, so you know who Jeon Somi is right?" 

I nodded. "She and Jungkook are officially together!"

And that's when everything crumbles. I wanted to just break down right there and then, but I knew better that I shouldn't. It was hard, yes, but I didn't want to let them know about me yet. I wasn't ready. But if I think about it, when was I ever ready for anything? Knowing that they'd probably want a reaction out from me, I faked a surprise. "Oh my god, seriously? But when? I don't think I've ever seen them together."

Jisoo and Chaeyoung continued talking about them as we walked home. There were many times that I just wanted to tell them to shut up but I knew I couldn't. It wasn't in my place to do so. They don't know about it yet and I'm to blame for not telling them. I don't think there had been a harder time to fake my expressions compared to then. I was almost on the brink of tears but I managed hold it back. Just hold on a bit more, Hye In. You won't have to listen to them soon. It'll be okay. I knew it wasn't ever going to be okay. Nothing's ever going to be okay. I'll never be okay.

You could say that God was helping me because they surprisingly didn't notice anything at all. (If you're thinking that they're not true friends because they couldn't see through me, I'd beg to differ because I'm actually the one not being truthful to them. I don't blame at all for not noticing. Maybe it was because I've never really asked to be noticed. Like I said, I didn't want them to be burdened with my problems when they already have a fair share of theirs.) 

My mom came home late that night (my parents divorced) due to work while my brother, well, I don't know where he is half of the time because he usually disappears, but he wasn't home either. Thank the heavens it was a Friday because I had absolutely no motivation to do my homework. I don't know how long I cried that night. I guess the joke's on me. Why did I even have to go and like someone like Jungkook? Stupid heart. No actually, stupid me. I'm so stupid for liking someone. Someone that I know won't ever be mine. Someone that can only just be part of my fantasy. Someone that won't ever like me.

It was a long and depressing night. And that was just the beginning of my heartbreak.

HAve you guys seen bts' teasers?? I'm so freaking excited for their comeback jfhdsbfbufhwfdwj I already know I'm going to like the songs already HAHA

Anyways, do you guys think Hye In's going to end up with Jungkook or nah? Don't be a silent reader and comment down your thoughts alright! :)

Stay gold, my readers.

xx lily