Days turn into weeks, weeks turn into months, months turn into a year. My feelings for Jeon Jungkook was still the same, if not, it was stronger than before. I don't think I've ever liked someone this much before. Back in June, Chaeyoung had confessed to Jisoo and I that she no longer had feelings for Jungkook. Jisoo being Jisoo, took it as it is, but me being me, I doubted her words. I know Chaeyoung and I have been friends for quite some time - we spend every single day together without a fail. But I don't know why I felt as if the words coming out of Chaeyoung's mouth were lies. Maybe it was my guilt, or maybe it was just me being paranoid. I don't know. 

When Chaeyoung confessed about her losing feelings for Jungkook, I couldn't help it but feel a sudden wave of relief hit me. I was glad that I wouldn't have to feel guilty anymore, or have to worry about Chaeyoung and Jisoo finding out about my infatuation I had with Jungkook. The moment I realised that I felt relieved, I started to feel ashamed of my feelings. You wouldn't be feeling this way if you hadn't started liking Jungkook, Ahn Hye In! I bit my lip - a habit of mine when I realised I had done something wrong.

"Hye In? Aren't you going to eat?" I remember Jisoo asking me during our break.

I immediately snapped out of my thoughts. "O-oh, yeah, yeah." 

"Are you okay, Hye In? You've been zoning out quite often," Chaeyoung said as she furrowed her eyebrows.

I faked a smile. "Don't worry, I'm fine. I actually zone out alot. My friends from my previous school complained about this too."

I could see Chaeyoung and Jisoo didn't entirely believe my lie, but they didn't say anything about it. But then again, it wasn't entirely a lie. My friends from my previous did complain about me zoning out/daydreaming. I like to stare out in the far distance and think about just weird and fantastical things. Things that you know are unlikely to happen. It ranges from vampires, beasts to even the simplest things like having the one you like, like you back. 

That night, devils crawled their way in into my mind. I don't think there will ever be a day where I will not over think and stress out about unnecessary things. I could only hope that there will be a light to guide me out of this darkness one day. I doubt there will, but there's no harm in hoping, right?

For six months, I doubted Chaeyoung's confession. I don't think it's easy to forget someone you like. Not that I've ever experienced it before. What made me sure of Chaeyoung's confession was when she told us she had started to like a guy from her History class. I remembered her eyes sparkling with excitement as she told us. Then, I saw the difference in her eyes when she had previously said she liked Jungkook at the start of the year. Her feelings for the guy she's liking now, it just feels more genuine, more real compared to when she liked Jungkook. I could see it in her eyes.

Last night, I contemplated whether I should admit my feelings for Jungkook to Jisoo and Chaeyoung. I guess I was tired of hiding. I was tired of hiding behind a mask everyday, concealing my true feelings. I wanted to be able to express my feelings openly without needing to over think or stress about it. But somewhere in my head held me back from telling them. I realised I was a coward then and there because I knew, deep down, I was scared of how they would react. I knew it's already been months; why would they even think of me betraying them, right? But I can already foresee the hurt expressions they have on their faces because I didn't trust them enough to tell them about how I truly feel. I could lie and say I just started liking Jungkook. But that wouldn't be fair to them. If I wanted to fully confess, I should start out everything with the truth. I didn't want to lie to them. It didn't feel right.

I know. It isn't right to keep them in the darkness for long either. But as long as they don't know that I'm keeping something from them, it should be fine, right?

I sighed as I entered Chemistry class. Why did I feel like Mr Lee is going to surprise us with a quiz today morning?

"Ah, the first Chemistry class of the year. To celebrate such a phenomenon that only comes once a year, I will be starting today's class with a surprise experiment-quiz." Mr Lee grinned.

The whole class groaned. School just started two days ago and Mr Lee already wants to give us a surprise quiz. Scratch that. It isn't even a quiz. It's an experiment. I knew this was coming. I furrowed my brows in annoyance as I received the paper Mr Lee has passed down which lists out the steps to the experiment.

"Stop whatever you're doing right when the bell rings. You can start."

I was silently following the steps when I heard a whisper. "Hey, Hye In."

I turned my head to the direction of the voice. I almost did a double take when I realised who it was. How could I forget Jungkook sat next to me?

"Do you want me to blow the school up?"

My eyes almost popped out. I got nearer to him and whispered-yelled, "Are you crazy or are you crazy? Why would you want to do that?"

Jungkook smiled. "Didn't you want to blow up the school last year?"

I lightly smacked him. "That was last year! Can you just continue doing your experiment? You're wasting time joking around."

"It's just a test. I don't see the need to do it properly." Jungkook said.

I rolled my eyes and continued on with my experiment. To say I had butterflies in my stomach was an understatement. I wanted to scream in excitement so badly but I couldn't do it with the surroundings I'm in. I held back my smile which was threateningly trying to escape as I tried to refocus back on doing my experiment.

Jeon Jungkook. I really really really like you.

I've decided to update this story twice a week (sometimes thrice when I'm feeling like it!). I won't have like a fixed schedule for when I'm going to update (it's going to be on random days) so do anticipate another chapter coming up this week! Thank you guys so much for deciding to read my story :)

Stay`gold, my readers.

xx lily