Men and women. So different, yet so alike.

Honestly, I have seen very few male writers here on AFF. Yet, almost all stories have male characters, and some of them are even written from a male point of view.  Ever noticed how fictional men on AFF often lack the ability to make a female reader squirm in her seat- something that published novels are capable of (not always, just a bit more often)?

Not all males in real life are masculine, but sometimes you might want to include a macho in your story.

Men think a little differently than females. That’s why, creating a convincing masculine character takes some knowledge. I’m not even going to start on the whole “masculine men don’t swoon over kitties (not when someone’s looking, anyway) and don’t like pink and unicorns” tirade. I’m sure you’re aware of that.

But there are lots of little tricks that set apart masculine and feminine behavior.

But first, let’s try to understand how a male mind works and how it’s different from a female mind.

• Men don’t usually discuss emotions.
• Females discuss emotions openly.

A group of male friends is more likely to discuss a football game, cars or their latest stunts, and NOT the status of their relationships and the like- unless they’re joking around. Men being emotional and showing it is frowned upon in our society (yes, they do have feelings, they just choose not to show them—mainly because that’s expected of them). That’s why a masculine man won’t normally volunteer for an emotional talk. And if an emotional talk happens, men are more likely to end it quickly, keep it dry and simple, or mask the serious talk under a joke.

• For men life is a competition.
• For women life is a cooperation.

You’ve probably noticed it- females are more likely to agree to a consensus than males. For most men, going long with what someone else wants is like a submission. For most women, going along with what somebody else wants is a way to work together- AKA cooperate.

• Men focus on action.
• Women focus on emotion.

That’s why most men prefer action movies, and women like romance dramas. Women like to “just talk” and men usually talk when they have something to say. That’s why women often beat around the bush when talking- they don’t say exactly what they want, they try to drop hints. Men don’t do that. They state what they want, and they don’t like being asked “why” they want it.

• Eye contact for men is a challenge.
• Eye contact for women is a way to show concern.

When men hold someone’s gaze long and strong, it means they’re announcing they’re stronger. Eye-contact is a sign of dominating, usually submissive and/or shy people have trouble looking others in the eye. That’s why a confident and masculine male regards eye-contact as a way to show other who’s the one in charge. Women, however, look you in the eye to show that they’re listening. With an occasional nod and agreeing noises (which men don’t do, unless they REALLY agree with that’s being said), women use it to show their concern and interest. One more thing- men usually choose to sit next to each other when talking, and they often look at random objects, not at each other, especially if they’re discussing serious matters. Women, however, prefer looking at people directly (remember a typical classroom brake situation- how do girls and boys sit, talk and act?).

• The only emotion men show in public is ANGER.
• Women usually show all emotions in public EXCEPT anger.

You’ve probably seen it. Women will press their lips in a thin line, but still manage a polite smile- no matter how angry they are, if there are any other people, who aren’t that close, anger will be pushed aside. For now. A female is much more likely to bite back her rage for a while, and then confront the one who angered her later. And men often get all worked-up in public, but when it comes to showing affection, some men bail- that’s because centuries of men as protectors taught them that anger is the only acceptable emotion for a men.

• Men see themselves as protectors of women.
• Men see women as protectors of children

Men feel responsible, and often takes pleasure, in taking care of their partners. But if a women is being too protective with her man, he might take it as an insult, because to him it might be equal to being treated like a child.

• Women find arguments upsetting.
• Men do not.

If a woman and a man got into a fight, the woman will probably brood about it for hours, maybe days. And the man… he’ll be angry at first, but an hour later he will have forgotten all about the disagreement, and will act like nothing ever happened. How women see it- if two people argue, there’s something wrong. How men see it is- if two people argue, they are close.

• Woman interpret the meaning.
• Men take it literally.

“I’m fine” coming from a woman’s lips often means she’s anything but fine. “I’m fine” coming from a man’s lips means he’s fine.

BEFORE WE GO ANY FURTHER I want to note that this is not, by any means, how every male acts or should act. This is merely an archetype of a masculine man. Often reactions and actions depend on the situation at hand, and the same person might react to similar situations differently under even slightly different circumstances. Don’t think any man acts 100% this way. This list is merely a reference- you take the bits you like and reform them to fit your goals.

Let’s continue with a little bit more detailed list of what a convincing masculine character would and wouldn’t do (these lists have been compiled by OokamiKasumi on DeART).

A convincing masculine character WILL:

Be direct    [<---- notice]
Be issue-oriented
Be analytical
Act casual even in serious discussions [<---- notice]
Interrupt
Make statements
Use short sentences
State his preferences clearly   [<---- notice]
Talk about concrete issues
Verbalize only things that he sees as important
Give advice
Ask specific questions
Choose to sit at angles from the person he's talking to

A convincing masculine character will NOT:

Ask lots of questions
Ask leading questions
Turn statements into questions   [<---- notice]
Invite a "just talk" situation
Speak in euphemisms
Use understatement    [<---- notice]
Downplay his ideas
Let his sentences trail off
Make agreeing noises
Volunteer his reasons
Hold eye contact for significant periods
Say "I'm sorry" unless he really means it    [<---- notice]
Tell stories about his failings
Use personal anecdote to make a point, especially in a professional setting
Get bogged down in introspection or self-doubt
Ask for help, especially with emotional issues
Volunteer information about his feelings   [<---- notice]
Ask about others' feelings
Ask for validation

And keep in mind these are for an ADULT male archetype.

A tip:::: visiting male-frequented websites might be helpful too. Now, I’m not talking about n-18 sites or anything, but sites like 9gag.com might really give you a new insight into how males think.

Any questions?

Leave them below.