the smell of smoke, alcohol and sour, stale breath

that's a smell i despise and yet, at the same time, i yearn for it.

i guess i understand why people drink until they're drunk.

its because there's so much in their head.

their hearts are heavy and their soul is dead. 

because they want to scream and cry and rip their hair out.

you're empty.

yet you feel so suffocated that all you want to do is just to run away. 

and when your breath tastes ashy and acidic, when you're drunk, completely out of your mind,

for that short period of time, everything disappears. 

your head clears, your heart is light, and your soul feels like its on fire.

you feel like anything's possible,

and for a moment, you're free.

but as your blood continues to flow and your breath turns bland,

your head fills up and your heart sinks down. 

your soul burns out and you're back to where it all started.