Chapter 3: Visit

It was the same house, the same building, the same lock, but it didn’t feel the same anymore. Standing inside an empty apartment he used to come back and forth, Kwon Jiyong leaned his side to the glass wall reflecting the view of night Seoul. Exhaling through his lips, he closed his eyes tight, trying to recollecting the memories he spent inside this apartment.

He wasn’t here when she moved in, he couldn’t, he reasoned. He could, if he’s more honest to himself, but he chose to reason instead. She was fine, she assured him, and he didn’t argue. He should though, now that he rethought. The picture of her smiling thinly as she said she’s fine without his help flashed into his mind, vivid and heart breaking, he truly regretted it. He should have put his meeting as schedule, but no, he rushed it and let his girlfriend’s excitement faded in a thin smile.

He opened his eyes and looked around the wide empty living room, there used to be a black sofa close to where he stood, his favorite place to lie still with her atop of him. She would usually play with his cheeks while he’s trying to back to his dream. But now that it’s gone, he regretted the time he clung onto his dream and ditching her touch.

His phone vibrated again, for the countless times. Sighing, he fell on the floor and leaned his back onto the wall.

“Hm?” he answered with no willingness.

“Are you out your mind?!” a familiar voice of his very dear friend resonated in his ear, hurting but he remained.

“I guess I am,” he replied, his voice was indifferent.

“Jiyong! You know I put my name into this project. You cannot just disappear like this!” Soojoo yelled, furious and frustrated. “Elle’s interview is next week, we have to make progress. Go ing back here today or I … I will kill you Kwon Jiyong! I promise!”

“Hm. Do,” again his voice didn’t show any sign of consideration.

Soojoo didn’t reply, she sighed instead. She’s desperate, he could tell. The Paris project was their dream, they had been preparing the launch for more than a year, and now that it would happen in couple of weeks, he suddenly lost sight of what’s supposed to be his dream anymore.

Everything turned blur, uncertain. He used to have it vivid and rigid. He had fought so hard to get his dream under his hand. He even sacrificed his love for this. But now that he had them all well ran, he’s not sure anymore.

“You’re being selfish right now. You know that. You cannot just put your feeling on this and drag us into your mess!”

“I’ve to see her,” he quietly reasoned.

“She’s fine! Come on! It’s not your problem anymore,” Soojoo attacked, though her voice softened.

“She’s not fine, I messed her life, I ruined her dream,” he exhaled with regret.

“Eunji is fine. She’s an adult, and a fighter, you told me this. And it’s her decision, I’m sure she chose what best for her. Come on Jiyong, you have people to feed, I can’t do this by myself,” she pleaded.

She’s wrong. Jiyong shook his head lightly. Eunji didn’t choose what best for her. She chose what best for everyone, even if it meant she had to pay with her own dream.

His tears fumed, falling down his cheeks, breaking his heart, tearing it apart. He clutched tight his chest, wishing he could do something, hugging her, telling her everything would be fine, staying close to her, anything for her.

“In case you forget, you have more than two hundreds employee, all of them depend on your dream. Please come back, we need you here, this …”

“I don’t know anymore-

“Shut up, Jiyong!” she interrupted loud and tired. “Don’t be like this! Eunji is not your responsibility anymore! But we are! WE ARE, KWON JIYONG! Quit whining like a child and act like how you’re supposed to be!”

“Eunji is pregnant …” Jiyong finally broke, “… she’s pregnant with my kid! But she chose to quit everything and disappear instead. WHY?! BECAUSE OF THAT ING DREAM YOU TELLING ME NOW! IT! THAT DREAM! I QUIT!”

*

207.

Now that he’s standing in front of that number, he had no clue what he’s supposed to do. Gong Yoo froze on his feet with a hesitant frown lingered on his forehead, fighting hard to ignore the thunder questions on the back of his head.  

He came without a plan, how very strange of him. He looked completely clueless if only anyone saw. Covered in a black hoodie and a pair of long pants in same color who would guess this tall suspicious person standing in front of someone’s door was the well-loved Korean actor Gong Yoo.

“I’m just worried,” he reasoned quietly rather for his own conviction. The big question was pretty obvious, why he was here.

His assistant asked him the same question when he handed him this building address along with that number. But back then he had enough power to stay silent and let the young guy satisfied with it. This moment was different though, it’s him himself who demanded an answer. And his answer led to another question.

In which position he’s going to put himself that he felt that sort of conviction. It’s not only odd, it’s unreasonable.

It’s a lie if he said he didn’t feel anything, although the description was yet clear. At least, he didn’t dislike her companion. They could really talk, not as actors, not as sunbae-hoobae, but as a person. He could still remember the way she uttered many of her surprising ideas, about life, about dream, naïve-people might say, and although he wasn’t completely sold, her boldness still amazed him.

Even with that, there was no mistake in his memory, while slightly trembling that girl rejected him, there was a clear line she drew between them, and he didn’t argue. Her eyes were full of confused thought, but even so, she still managed to stop his proposal even before he did it.

He knew he’s not supposed to be worried.

But he was nevertheless. And he had no convincing reason, at least for now.

He sealed his eyes in thought, trying to make a better judgment. And the voice at the back of his skull clearly told him nothing but to go back home. He had no reason to be here and it’s supposed to be enough to make him retreat. And he moved, choosing to agree.

Just then the door creaked open, surprising both him and the person in action.

Her head covered in black hoodie just like him, her eyes rounded in shock, he could tell she was never imagining him to stand in front her ever again. Seeing her state, so real, so tiny, he’s more composed though, at least he believed. He felt his stomach twist with concern that shouldn’t have been there.

His lips moved to break the silence but she pulled back the doorknob almost immediately, leaving him flustered in front the closed door.

“Eunji?” he knocked as a response of her abrupt defense. “Eunji … open the door,” he asked softly. There was a sudden urge to see her again, to demand a reason.

The look on her face was not only contained of surprise, once he recalled. He strangely found fear, and it tempted him to know why. Although there was nothing between them anymore, not that they had sort of thing before though, but she’s not supposed to wear such expression in front of him.

He never remembered he’d hurt her, at least that’s what he believed.

“Hey,” he tried again, even more tender, “I won’t ask anything,” he lied, “are you going out?” that’s a question, you stupid! He immediately shrugged the thought and continued, “It’s almost midnight, I can accompany you if…,” still no response, “Eunji?”

Inhaling and out of option, Gong Yoo walked closer instead, leaning on the door and whispering a bold command.

“Hey, that’s rude, Ji. Aren’t I your senior? Come out!”

And just like that the door slowly opened.

It surprised him that it literally worked, he almost chuckled.

Timidly she pulled her head out, and without looking at him she bowed, “w-what you’re doing here sunbaenim?” her voice trembled, in reason he’s still blind of.

“Are you going somewhere?” he didn’t answer and asked again. He still had no reasonable reply anyway.

“Yes,” she nodded, still avoiding his eyes. “H-how can you know this place?”

“Where are you going?” again, he’s not answering.

Looking up with hesitance, she studied his eyes, but retreated almost right after.

“O-out,” she replied very short.

“I can see that, but where exactly is that?” he persisted.

One thing that Eunji learned about this guy today was how stubborn he could be. His voice was something she couldn’t fight