I had a dream last night
I dreamt that I was swimming
And the stars up above
Directionless and drifting
Somewhere in the dark
Were the sirens and the thunder
And around me as I swam
The drifters who'd gone under

Time love
Time love
Time love
It's only a change of time

- Change of Time, John Ritter

Finally the surgery was done. He was lucky that no tendons were damaged otherwise he would’ve ruined his hands. All they did was repair some of his vessels.

I kept a vigil beside his bed after they have transferred him to the post-anesthesia care unit. He was still intubated, but thankfully his vitals have stabled and my colleague said that if he continues to do well he’d be out of pressors and all he’d need would be blood transfusion from the massive hemorrhage. We’d just have to wait and see if he wakes up as well so they could extubate him.

I was lucky I was able to call his parents and said they’d be here in the morning. It was an awkward call, my first call to them in 10 years and I was informing them that their son was in a life and death situation. We didn’t even have time to exchange pleasantries but they were thankful that I was there.

I was carefully holding Ji’s bandaged hand in mine, still wondering why he did this to himself. How did he get the courage to bleed his life out? But then he was always a courageous kid. Heck! He even found the guts to confess to me back then.

“What happened to you Ji?” I murmured as I stared at his face, trying to see if the boy I knew was still there or whether the handsome man I am looking at now is already a stranger.

From what I have gathered from his stuff, Ji has become a composer working for YGE. That was printed on his calling card. I was glad he was able to reach that dream of his. Even as a kid, he used to entertain me by singing and performing for me.

I’m not into the habit of praying, God knows that. But for him, I prayed as hard as I could. He was still young. He could do more. I prayed for God to give him more time.

It was morning when I felt his fingers move. I looked up and saw him shift in bed. He opened his eyes and was soon gagging. I asked the nurse on duty to call the ROD so we could extubate him.

After extubation, he was again sleeping and was breathing normally. His O2 sats were good so we transferred him to a private room. We were waiting for him to be fully conscious. Only then would we know if he was really okay. After all he did die for about 10 minutes.

His parents came at around 10am, looking just as harassed as I did. I was supposed to be off today but I decided to stay and talk to them. I know the other doctors would do the job well but I wanted to be there for them. A familiar face always helps to ease anxieties. I’d just take a shower later and change clothes, I’ve decided.

“Uncle! Auntie!” I greeted them.

“Oh Dara! It’s been a long time. What happened to our Ji? I’m so glad you were here! Who knew after all this time we’d meet like this?” Ji’s mom blabbered on as she cried while hugging me.

“It’s okay auntie. He’s doing better now. But we still have to wait for him to wake up to see if he’ll really be okay.” I reassured them.

“We are so glad that you were there when he needed you. Thank you so much for saving our son.” Ji’s dad said tearfully and hugged me as well.

It might look weird for people to see a grown woman, and a doctor at that, trapped between the arms of 2 elderly couples bawling their eyes. I carefully disentangled myself from them and motioned for them to sit at the couch.

“It’s nothing auntie, uncle. If it weren’t me, I know some other doctor would’ve done the same. It’s all part of our profession. That was why I wanted to be one” I said humbly.

“Still, we’re happy it was you. I hope Ji wakes up and sees you now. You’ve grown much prettier, even Ji has grown handsome as well. You should’ve seen him when he was in highschool, he fancied himself a heartbreaker. Aisht! It’s been ages since you two were together. Not since you moved away from our old neighbourhood. How come I don’t see you when you visit your parents? You used to be inseparable. Ji always tailing behind you. I’m sure he’ll be happy to see you.” Ji’s mom gushed despite the situation.

I offered an awkward smile. What could I say? I don’t think your son would be so pleased to see me as I broke his heart 10 years ago. After what went on our last day together, I don’t think that this will be a happy reunion. But still, why did he still have that note with him?

I was cut from my thinking when Ji’s dad interjected. “I’m surprised you two haven’t seen each other. Ji has moved here about 2 years ago. Says he wants to man up and prove himself. Did you know he writes songs for those famous artists at YGE?”

“I saw it in his calling card” I said.

Ji’s mom went on to tell “And he keeps on telling stories of the singers he met and the pretty girls he dated. Although, he never brought anyone home. Sometimes I wonder if he has a girlfriend already.”

At this, I felt uncomfortable. 

“He’s been a good boy but he hasn’t come home to visit this year, says he’s too busy. We keep on telling him we’d be the one to visit and he says no. And the time we get to it, it’s all like this.” Ji’s dad said sadly.

I saw auntie and uncle grab each other’s hands for comfort.

“Did Ji ever tell you anything going wrong with his work or relationships? Has he sounded depressed lately?” I asked carefully, hoping I wasn’t too inquiring.

“That’s the problem. He was always happy when he called. Well except for the time when he sounded off 3 months ago but that was because he said he had the stomach flu”Ji’s mom said.

I was left into thinking why. But I decided Ji would be the only one to know the answer to our question and until he wakes up, we could only speculate. I decided to step out for a while and let them have their time with Ji. I’d use the time to freshen up before I come back and bring them some lunch at noon.

“If it’s okay with you, auntie and uncle, I’d go out first and be back later.” I said as I rose from my seat.

“Take your time, dear. And thank you.” Ji’s mom said as she hugged me again while Ji’s dad gave me a pat on the shoulder.

As I left his room, I saw his parents come near his bed. His mom was holding his hand and caressing his face. Both were quietly murmuring “Why, Ji, why?”

Back at my apartment, I made a good deal of scrubbing myself of yesterday’s dirt and grime. I noticed a few bruises on my legs. Well in the heat of things, I must have bumped into something again. I changed into new clothes, passed by a deli and got lunch and went straight back to the hospital

When I opened the door to his room, I saw Ji’s parents hovering about the bed. I came closer to see what it was about and noted that Ji was stirring in his sleep. He was starting to wake up. I pressed on the intercom and told the nurse to call the doctor.

After what seemed like a minute, he opened his eyes. He was first to see his parents. They were both teary-eyed and smiling at him.

“How are you feeling son?” Ji’s dad asked.

“Don’t worry Ji, mom’s here to take care of you” his mom reassured him. “Look even Dara is here”

I was not happy to have the spotlight thrown on me. Ji looked to my direction.

I was not ready to meet his gaze just yet. I still remember that the last look he gave me was full of contempt and I couldn’t bear for him to look at me like that again.

Brown eyes stared into mine and an unfamiliar feeling seized my heart.

“Dara noona…”