It has been three months since I saw my angel again. I couldn’t believe that just as I was about to break down, my angel holds me up. But the thought of my angel with someone else was unbearable. But seeing that smile that was only for me, gives me hope.

My days are consistent. Rehearsal, practice, recording, photo shooting, and drama. When I say drama, I meant drama in the dorms.

There is always something to talk, argue, fight or scream about here. As the others watching a TV program, I was in the kitchen, thinking of my angel. Sooyoung, being the most greediest food eater in the group was always walking in and out of the kitchen. Each time she would look at me, cause for the past two hours I just have been staring off into space.

Everyone had given up on asking me what was going on, or who this ‘angel’ was and all that. I was happy that they stopped asking me, but the glances and looks were still there. I didn’t mind it, but I just couldn’t help, but feel it when they looked at me.

Sooyoung took the seat in front of me, on purpose most likely. And started eating her noodles.

Slurp, slurp, slurp. Was all I could hear and see her do.

Slurp! Slurp! Slurp! It’s starting to get to me.

Slurp! Slurp! Slurp! That’s it! I can’t stand it anymore.

I stood up and went into my room, and lay on my bed.

Why am I like this? All cause of that stupid angel.

Just then, the door creaked open. I was about to yelled at whoever it was. Being irritated already. But before I could say one word, I saw that it was my younger sister Krystal.

“Krystal!” I said, I stood up and hugged her.

“Unnie!” Krystal replied, as she hugged me back.

“How have you been? What brings you here?”,

“I’ve been good. Finally have a day off. Actually.... they others have been telling me about you. Unnie, you have been acting different.”.

I looked at Krystal blankly, and went to my bed and sat down. Krystal follow suit and sat next to me.

“Unnie, you know you can tell me anything.” She urged me, with a worried look.

Maybe Krystal will take me seriously. So then I told her everything. What happened last year and what happened three months ago.

After hearing my story, Krystal was silent for awhile, then she looked at me and said, “I think it might be coincidence. Or maybe destiny.”,

“ Destiny?” I asked her,

“Yeah. Like this person is your life long soul mate. But you said that, that person was with a girl and two babies?”,

“Yes.” I answered her, while looking down. I didn’t like that fact, that my angel was with someone else, much less that, that girl might be the mother of those babies.

“I think. You should just do what’s best for you. If you want you can wait until next year and see whether on the bridge this person will appear again, then that person is your destiny or maybe a sign. But unnie, you shouldn’t be like this. You should try to get out there again.”.

I smiled at my sister words, and kissed her on the cheek, thanking her.

A month has passed since that talk with Krystal. And now the words, “What if”, kept coming into my mind.

As I was walking through the hall in the SM building, I dumped into someone and fell down.

“Are you okay?” that person asked, while helping me to get to my feet.

I look up at that person, and gave my icy glare. But I was shocked when I saw it was Wooyong.

“Sorry Jessica. But I’m kinda lost and late. I’m to feature in one of FX songs.” Wooyong said,

“That’s alright. Here I’ll show where the recording studio is.” I offered.

As we walked to the studio, I couldn’t help but steal glances at Wooyong. And also the words of Krystal kept replaying in my head.

What if, what if, what if. Was all that I could hear.

I snapped back to reality, when I heard Wooyong say, “Isn’t the studio through this door?”,

Embarrassed, I lowered my head to hide my red face.

I could hear Wooyong, chuckle a bit, and then he said, “You’re so cute.”,

I stared at him, puzzled.

But he continued saying, “After I finish recording, care to grab a bite with me?”.

It took me awhile to register what he had just said.

But when he said ‘You don’t have to if you don’t want to.’ Snapped me out of it.

“No. It’s not that. It just that I have schedule today, so I can’t.” I finally said,

“That’s alright. We can go next time.” Wooyong said, as he went inside, while giving me a smile.

After I finished my schedule for the day, I went back to my dorm and asked the girl’s for their opinion.

All I got was, ‘Oh My God! Why are you so lucky! Unbelievable!’ and so on.

Getting irritated, I asked them again, “Yah! Should or should I not?!”,

‘Of course you should!!!’ they all said together.

Later that night, Fany came into my room, while the other was still squealing over it.

“Sica?” she said as she opened my door, seeing me reading a book.

“Yeah?” I replied back,

“Are you sure about this?” Fany said to me in English,

I looked at her surprised, she only speaks in English when she didn’t want anyone to know what she was talking about. And by anyone, it mostly meant the rest of our members.

“I think so.” I finally said,

“You know, you don’t have to do this.”,

“Tif. How would you be if this happen to you?”,

After thinking awhile, she replied, “The same I guess. But just be careful.”,

“I will.”.

Smiling Fany, left me to my thoughts. I thought of Wooyong and what would happen, then my thoughts drifted to my angel, and what happened. No matter what I do, I always remember that smile.