My name is Choi Sulli. 

My friends call me a variety of nicknames, with Goddess of Clumsiness being one of them. (I may have perpetuated that name by constantly tripping or stumbling or slipping and falling down, but hey, it's not my fault I was made this way.) 

I like cooking, but my parents didn't like me pursuing Culinary Arts so I'm in college taking Political Science instead. As if anyone would want a clumsy minister in their country. Ha! That would be a sight to see.

I absolutely love sunflowers. I used it during the photoshoot today, and Director Park said I looked really pretty. 

He's very nice. I like the way he talks.

(And he didn't notice me secretly laughing when he almost fell off the set just now. He recovered very well.)

“Do you know why you are all gathered here?” Xiumin asked, his voice echoing throughout the library of the West Wing, his expression unsmiling as he regarded the girls seated before him.

Murmurs of agreement went through them, and they turned to see Chen walk towards the center of the room with an envelope in his hand, placing it on the mahogany desk in front of them.

“You have cast your votes for the elimination round,” he announced, holding up the envelope, “And you have nominated one girl to leave the hotel tonight.”

Sun Young held her breath.

I wonder who got the most votes.

I wonder if anyone voted me.

She thought back to just moments before when she had been in the library alone, standing in front the desk where a staff member was seated at. She had looked over at the lookbook of pictures that were placed on the surface of the large desk, before opening the ballot slip the staff had given her.

On the slip was a box for her to write a name in, with the note at the bottom saying that she couldn’t vote her own self.

Kris had been right next to her, filming her indecision as she looked over the photos.

I judged everyone fairly.

Even my own pictures.

And then the staff member had asked her to explain her choice, which felt scary.

If I get called out for it, it could go on TV. I mean, that’s usually how it goes, right?

She blinked, feeling herself come back to the present as she looked around discreetly.

Xiumin was nodding. “We have collated the different votes and interviewed each and everyone of you on your choice, and it has been decided…who will be returning home tonight,” he spoke, “But first, let us also not forget our mentors who have been the judges for this round, as well as our Director Park Chanyeol!”

Loud music blared through the library, catching her by surprise as the door opened, and the girls clapped at the arrival of the judges.

Be still my heart, she said internally, watching Chanyeol as he entered the library, along with the three celebrity mentors.

Once more the trio of mentors were dressed in matching colors, this time a navy blue, and Chanyeol too was wearing a dark blue suit set which was honestly strange to see; he never wore anything other than black.

He looked nice, she found herself thinking.

She wondered if he would consider wearing more colors in the course of the show.

Heechul was beaming. “The tension is so thick, I can cut it and make a dress out of it,” he joked as he sashayed in, making Sun Young smile, “Lighten up, ladies, you look like we’re all at a funeral.”

Beside him, Ji-yong gave a little smirk that was gone as swiftly as it had come.

Why does it feel like the more they’re trying to reassure us, the more I feel afraid?

They took their places, sitting behind the long desk – it was probably used to conduct meetings in the past – and waited patiently as everyone gave their attention to the hosts once more.

Sun Young’s gaze ran over the judges’ faces, before settling on Chanyeol’s. His expression was unreadable as he leaned forwards in his seat, looking intently at the hosts with a thoughtful look in his eyes. His hair was a bunch of mussed-up waves on his head, some of which curled over his face, hiding the usual tenacity of his grim expressions.

He bit his lip then, and she wondered if he was nervous.

That’s stupid, why would he be nervous.

A hand clasped over hers, and she glanced at Sulli next to her.

Fighting! she mouthed.

Sun Young nodded, intertwining their hands together. She squeezed.

“Before we end this episode, we would first like to congratulate you girls on putting your best into the photoshoot today,” Chen said, “Give yourself a round of applause!”

“That’s right, turn to your friends and tell them what a good job they have done today!” Xiumin said enthusiastically, “Especially for those who did it the first time, you girls really went into it and tried even though you were unfamiliar with modelling.”

Despite the sinking feeling in her stomach, Sun Young put her hands together, smiling at the other girls as they patted each other on the back, whispered words of encouragement and reassurance, and she looked back at the hosts once more.

Out of the corner of her eye she spotted one of the twins whispering something as she leaned slightly to Ju Hyun, who was sitting elegantly. She nodded and resumed her gaze on the panel of people before them.

I wonder if she’s nervous.

Nah. She’s probably too confident to even think she’ll be considered to be eliminated.

“We would like the judges to say a few words before we get into the elimination,” Chen clarified, gesturing to the panel as he and Xiumin walked to the side.

The girls looked over at Su-ji stood up. She wore a navy chambray dress, with her hair bunned up tightly over her head, and her red lips stretched into a warm smile.

“After all is said and done, ladies, I would simply like to say how happy I am to have spent the day with you in the studio,” she said, to cheers, “I could see how enthusiastic you are when you were talking amongst your team members, and how much fun you had during the shoot. Whatever the result is, take it as a way for you to move forward, and learn from it well!”

“Which contestant stood out to you the most, Miss Bae?” Chen asked.

The Head Photographer didn’t even hesitate. “Park Kyungri,” she said cheerily, earning a sharp gasp from the girl, “Granted, she has prior experience, but she never fails to give encouragement and tips to the others. In a world where people step on each other to get to the top, we need people like her who extend a helping hand to others instead of push them down.”

Sulli clapped her hands enthusiastically. “Go Kyungri!” she cried, as the girl stood up and bowed in gratitude.

Su-ji sat down as Heechul got up. “Honestly speaking,” he spoke, “When some of you came in, I already knew who was going to ace this round and who wasn’t.”

He paused for dramatic effect. “I was telling Mr. Park how biased I might have been, because I already had a favorite even before the photoshoot, and when I had asked him whether he had any, he told me he didn’t!” he said with a laugh, “So, right off the bat, I would say that I already, maybe, sort of knew who would make a good shoot for the day.”

“Who was your favorite, then, Mr. Kim?”

Heechul placed his index finger over his lips as he sat down sassily. “I won’t tell,” he said, earning giggles from some of the girls, “But she’s from Team One, and her couple picture was the cutest one of them all, I swear.”

Xiumin turned to them. “Girls from Team One, raise your hands!”

Sun Young looked to her right.

Sulli, Ju Hyun, Hyemi, Sungah, Hyuna, Sunny, Hyoyeon.

I wonder who?

Ju Hyun is hardly cute, but then again, her couple shot with Chanyeol was her kissing his cheek while he looked at the camera in surprise, so no shock there.

When she had seen the picture, her blood had boiled.

She was obviously trying to do something that he couldn’t call her out for; of course she had taken the opportunity.

I wonder if that’s why she looks so smug right now.

As they moved on to Jiyong, she looked up, watching the petite mentor remain sitting as he spoke.

“Like the mentors before me, I, too, would like to thank all of you for participating in today’s round with a lot of enthusiasm,” he said, and despite the gentle softness of his voice, his words sounded clear and crisp, “I don’t play favorites, it isn’t in my nature. But I can see some people who really tried to put themselves out there even though they are at a disadvantage to the girls who have done this before; I laud you for really trying, and for really taking our suggestions gamely.”

The library was filled with applause once more, and Sun Young smiled as she regarded Ji-yong, who was raising a hand in acknowledgement.

“Mr. Park?” Chen prompted, and Sun Young’s smile faltered for a second as she fixed her attention on the hotel director, whose chair scraped noisily as he stood up.

He ran a hand through his curly hair. “Well,” he began, pausing as he glanced at the other mentors, “I believe that they have articulated most of what I wanted to say, so I will stray to something a little different.”

He smiled slightly as he let out an exhale. “Personally, I have never gone through so much clothes in the span of four, five hours, and I’m not sure if I want to ever do that again,” he said, as the girls began to chuckle, “I have the greatest respect for anyone who has to do photoshoots, and I learned a lot today. I hope that you managed to do the same, regardless of whether you’ve been through this or not before.”

They nodded.

“Also,” he added, “Through the individual photoshoots, I was able to have conversations with everyone of you, and it was really nice to just finally get to talk to everyone, and I’m sorry, especially to the candidates going home tonight, that the conversations will not continue. I’m most sorry about that.”

That must be why he’s nervous, she thought, as Chanyeol sat down. He doesn’t want to do this, but he has to.

He must feel really bad.

As he adjusted his blazer, their eyes met.

Sun Young froze as his hands paused over his blazer, her lips parting as she in a breath.

Chanyeol blinked once, twice.

His gaze travelled from her face to the evening dress that she was wearing: one of the commissioned dresses that PD Kim had brought for them today to wear. It was a knee-length pinstriped dress with sneakers.

And looked away.

Sun Young swallowed the surprise and looked away hurriedly.

“We will now be revealing the results of the voting,” Chen announced, and she felt Sulli reaching for her hand again.

“I feel nervous,” the girl murmured to her.

“Me too,” Sun Young whispered back.

“No, like, really nervous,” Sulli said, “Like I-want-to-go-to-the-loo kind of nervous.”

She gave her friend an incredulous look. “Now?”

“I can keep it in for a little while longer,” Sulli admitted sheepishly, “Unless they want to draw out the suspense.”

They looked at the hosts, watching Chen tear open the envelope and taking out a slip of paper, passing one to his co-host.

Xiumin held it up. “I will read the first slip,” he said, unfolding it in his hands before putting the microphone back to his lips, “And the contestant that will be going home is…”

A hush fell over everyone, and they – even the mentors – leaned forwards to hear the result.

“…Ms Lee Hyebin.”

Heads turned sharply to one of the twin chaebols, the one who had been in the conversation with Ju Hyun just moments before, and was agape as she watched her stand up to join the hosts.

Although she didn’t know much about the chaebol, Sun Young knew she was a small, quiet girl who was slightly older than the rest. She and her sister never strayed from their little group of heiresses, but whenever they had conversations during dinner, they were polite, offering smiles as they nodded respectfully as the chatted with the rest.

Which is more than I can say for Ju Hyun, the snake.

“Up here, Ms Lee,” Chen said, guiding her to a little platform where everyone could see her, and Hyebin clasped her hands in front of her, smiling elegantly as Chen handed her his microphone.

“Miss Lee, what do you feel right now?” Xiumin asked gently.

Hyebin tucked her cascading black hair behind her ear and laughed softly. “A little sad,” she said, as Sun Young hung onto her every word.

I don’t want to feel relieved, but I am.

I don’t want to feel disappointed, but I am.

Out of the corner of her eye, she could see Ju Hyun turn to Hyun Joo, talking with low voices. Hyun Joo was smiling and clutching her hand to her chest, before she noticed Sun Young watching her.

On her part, Sun Young immediately turned back to Hyebin, her cheeks flaming.

“A little happy too,” the heiress was saying.

“Happy? Why do you say so?”

The heiress gave a quick glance at the rest. “This is my first time taking part in something like this,” she shared, “I’ve had the pleasure of going out of my shell and getting to make new friends, friends I would never have met if I hadn’t joined this competition.”

Sun Young clapped, which prompted the rest to follow and clap along. She nodded, feeling the heiress’ thoughts resonate in her own heart, and as Chanyeol got up, walking to the platform to offer to bring Lee Hyebin out of the Library, she felt a bit of dissatisfaction, knowing that the first contestant was someone who hadn’t even deserved it.

As quickly as Hyebin had been among them, now, she was gone.

And now, they were eighteen.

“The next contestant,” Chen said, having retrieved his microphone from her, “If you remember us mentioning before, will be the contestant with the least or no roses during the elimination.”

Xiumin nodded. “We would like you to produce your roses that you have been asked to bring with you,” he announced.

Chanyeol his lips nervously as he waited for the girls to return.

The three judges were gone, and he had thanked them profusely for agreeing to be the special guests for the episode. PD Kim had walked in, giving him a rough run-through of how the elimination had been done, but he had barely heard her.

While he knew Sun Young was safe, since her roses were with Kyungsoo, he had felt an underlying wave of concern for the others too, especially since the producer had informed him that there had been three – three! – rose thefts since morning. He wished it hadn’t been Kyungri, nor any of the other girls he had been particularly friendly with that morning; he couldn’t find it in his heart to send them home, especially when he barely knew them.

Perhaps it’s better that I don’t know them. It makes separation easier.

“Mr. Park?” a voice interrupted his thoughts, and he turned to see Secretary Choi staring at him with a clipboard in her hand.

“Yes?” he asked, frowning.

“Your mother wants to speak with you,” she told him, handing out a handphone in her hand.

He stared at it apprehensively, pursing his lips before hesitantly taking the phone from her and placing it against his ear.

“Hello?”

“Channie, sweetie!” his mother trilled on the other side of the line, “I’ve heard so many things today, how have you been?”

He sighed. “A bit tired, to be honest.”

“I hear the first girl has been eliminated.”

“Mm-hmm.”

“And?”

There was a pause as he waited for her to add anything. “And what?”

“And what do you feel about that?”

Chanyeol glanced around him, making sure no one was close enough to hear him. “What do you mean, what do I feel, apart from being very nervous and embarrassed?” he muttered under his breath, “I didn’t even talk much to her.”

“Her parents own Lee Petroleum.”

Like I give a damn what her father does.

“You didn’t know that, did you?” she pressed.

He sighed, by way of answering.

His mother chuckled. “It’s alright, I never fancied a docile girl for you anyways,” she said airily, “You’re far too antsy to have a passive companion by your side.”

“What does that mean- no, wait, don’t answer that. You always give these type of answers and expect me to understand,” he said, massaging his forehead.

“Have you found her yet?” she asked, sounding like she was smiling when she talked.

He knew what she meant.

Or rather, who.

Remind me again why I shared my search for my mystery girl with Mother.

It’s starting to make me lose my mind.

“Obviously not,” he said with a groan, “You’re enjoying me being confused with all this, aren’t you?”

“Mm-hmm,” she hummed, “I don’t even know why you are stressing out, it’s not a difficult task.”

“What if she’s eliminated?”

“She won’t.”

“And how would you know?” he retorted, “For all you know, she’s eliminated tonight.”

It’s not as if I can make sure she still has her roses with her.

Anyone who has none is automatically out.

“You’re forgetting one important detail, Channie dear.”

He frowned. “And what’s that?”

“PD Kim is in on this whole clandestine affair,” she supplied, “I doubt she would allow the elimination of the girl, even if she wanted to.”

“Does she know who the girl is?”

“Maybe?”

“Wait a minute-”

“I’ve said too much, now, time for my beauty sleep!”

“Mother, just hold on a second-”

The phone line went dead, leaving a dull dial tone in its wake.

Chanyeol held the phone in front of him incredulously, cursing under his breath as he turned to Secretary Choi, who looked up from her clipboard just in time to take the phone from him.

He let out a sharp exhale, letting out his frustration as he regarded her. “Are you,” he began uncertainly, “Are you in on this too?”

Her expression became one of mild curiosity. “In on what, sir?”

“This. Whatever my mother and PD Kim is cooking up.”

Is she going to say yes?

Of all the women around me, I would say I’d take Secretary Choi’s word the most.

Also, she’s kind of obliged as my informant, of sorts.

“I’m not in any arrangement with them,” she said, nonchalant.

Chanyeol stared at her for a few more seconds.

She raised an eyebrow. “You doubt me, sir?”

Cheeks heating up, he shook his head. “Of course not,” he said, almost too quickly, “I’m just saying, if you know what they’re up to, just…just let me know. Don’t let me flail around here, I beg you.”

To his surprise, she chuckled.

He almost gaped; his secretary almost never laughed. Perhaps she would smile every now and then, but the woman was stoic.

“What’s so funny?” he asked stupidly.

She pocketed the phone, holding her clipboard to her chest. “I don’t know, sir, it just seems that you’ve been quite confused lately. First asking me to leave early to suggest a date with Mr. Yang, then getting into debates with your mother regarding your involvement in this show, and even asking Baekhyun how to dress in the mornings,” she said, smiling, “It really isn’t like you.”

“Well, my current situation doesn’t really allow me the liberty of going about like my normal self,” he began, before catching himself. He tilted his head, bewildered. “How did you know Baekhyun helps me with my dressing?”

“He was just complaining to me earlier,” she said plainly, “He was quite upset, although I feel that he secretly enjoys it.”

“Little piece of .”

She made a disapproving sound, something she had used to do back in his childhood.

“Really? I can’t even swear?” he deadpanned.

“Remember what your father used to say?” she reminded him, “Don’t make it a point of swearing regularly, or-”

“-you might swear in