https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dZ8Q28tOYbk

"Missed me?" A voice behind me startled me. I turned around to see Sungjae dressed quite nicely, but not too formally.

"You look like you're dressed for a date."

"Good, because I am. You're not looking so casual yourself." I raised a brow.

"What are you trying to say?" He swung me around, pulling me into his embrace with his chin rested on my shoulder, his lips whispering beside my ear.

"That you're beautiful." I could feel my ears widening as they burned a bright red, my cheeks radiating a shade no different. I looked down at his string. His cut string. I was reminded of the previous night. I was reminded of my conversation with the girl. The red in my ears, the red in my face drowned as white conquered. I pushed him off me.

"Stop, please." I couldn't bear to look at his face, or his string. But for some reason, my eyes didn't leave his string. They watched as his string faltered, its glow dimming slightly in embarrassment. Or was it concern? I couldn't tell.

"What's wrong?" Your string. I turned to face him with a forced smile.

"Nothing. What do you have prepared for us today?" I desperately wanted to change the subject. What subject is there even to change?  Sungjae's eyes reeked of worry, but he followed my cue.

"Ok, so I know you're going to shoot that cliche lecture at me but I really really wanted to take you here at least once so we're spending our day today at the amusement park!" At this point, I understood that he didn't quite correctly understand why I didn't like going to any amusement park. However, I spared him the lecture, because if we're going to a park that was built to amuse citizens, then might as well be amused.

"Well doesn't that sound like fun."

"Hey, I sense sarcasm!"

"Congratulations, you understand my native language!"

"Wait, that's not funny!"

"It is if you're me." I stuck out my tongue tauntingly.

"Whatever, let's just go." I took a deep breath as he took me to the bus stop. The entire ride to the park was spent with me consoling myself that everything will be alright. We arrived and I came upon dozens, and dozens of strings. Suddenly, I forgot how to breathe, my body stiffening as thoughts swirled in my head. I closed my eyes. It's ok. I can do this. It's fine. It's ok. I'm ok. I opened my eyes again. I am not ok. "Eunji, are you ok?" I turned to look at him, hoping my eyes didn't speak too much.

"I don't know. Do I look ok?" That wasn't a quiz. It wasn't a test. It was me asking in genuine wonder. Do I look ok?

"What do you think about a nice, quiet date at the cafe instead?" I don't look ok. I couldn't tell if I had responded or not, but soon enough, I was found sitting in the bus once again, going the direction opposite the one we came. I looked beside me.

"I'm sorry." My voice cracked. A long silence lingered before he spoke.

"What are you sorry for?" What? My head began spinning as I was trying to interpret what he just asked. What am I getting interrogated right now? My brows furrowed in confusion and my eyes turned down, maybe searching for an answer.

"Excuse me?" My heart began beating faster, not from flattery, but from confused anger. It didn't tickle as it beat. It burned as the beats of my heart echoed in my ears, ing against my skin.

"I mean, you shouldn't be sorry when you've done nothing wrong." My breath became unstable, my mind still in a confused state, but my heart slowing down. I looked him straight in the eyes, my own stinging.

"I hate crying."

"What?"

"I said, I hate it when I cry." Two drops fell like rain, streaking a line down my cheeks to fall off my chin like little children jumping off a high bridge. I took a deep breath, and kept my sharp gaze into Sungjae's orbs. And I spoke with a strong voice.

"I'm too tired of this world."

a/n

aye double update

So like I been mentioning that I now know how to end this story and like I still do but for some reason now I'm leaning towards my most rejected idea...

-.- I'm so dumb.

-K.o