I looked at the warm blue water surrounding my ankles. A warm tingly feeling ran up my spine.

“I could stay like this all day.” I whispered to myself.  I sat down not caring about my clothes getting wet. They’ll dry. I sat there letting the sun warm my face, and the water warm my body.

“Heechullie.” I heard a sweet singsong voice call. I looked to where the voice was coming from. I saw her; she was standing just ten feet away. My heart jumped as I saw her wavy shoulder length bleached blond hair blow in the wind. She is beautiful, the love of my life. She had on my favorite sapphire blue shirt the hung loosely from her body and dark jeans that hugged her legs tightly. I got up and walked towards her, her sweet smile warmed my insides with every step I got closer to her. When I got close enough to be an arms length away she started to run. I stopped, confused on what she was doing, I looked down and followed her footprints in the sand. When I looked up, I froze. She was holding on to someone else. Using the loving smile on someone else. I looked closer and saw that it was Siwon. My heart stopped. I fell to my knees. A single tear fell down my face. They looked over at me, loving smiles on their faces.

“Heechul, Heechul wake up!” I heard someone yell as I was being shaken. I looked up and saw a blurry figure standing above me, I rubbed my eyes, trying to clear them and realized they were sore. I looked back up and saw Donghae’s worried face looking down at me. I sat up, so he could sit on my bed with me. I ran my fingers through my hair and realized that my hair was stuck to my head.

“Yeah?” I asked him

“Are you okay? I heard you screaming and I walked in and saw you shaking and I-“

“I’m fine.” I said cutting him off. He gave a yeah-right look

“I promise, I just had another dream, about her.” He wrapped his arms around me, hugging me

“It will get better, you can get through this.” He whispered. I sat there letting the comfort fill my body

“Yah, let’s not get all mushy.” I laughed as I pushed him off me. He laughed back.

“What time is it?” I asked him. He pulled out his phone

“Um, six thirty-five, why?” He asked. I sighed

“No reason, just checking.” Great, one hour of sleep, new record for you.

“Okay, well, I’m going to make breakfast, want some?”

“Um, yeah, I’m going to take a shower really fast though.”

“Okay.” He said as he walked out of my room. I sighed and got out of my bed and walked into the bathroom. I the light and looked in the mirror, I gasped. I looked dead. My eyes were red and had deep dark circles underneath them. I looked really pale and my hair was standing in every direction it could. I looked at my self for a couple seconds longer, and then I couldn’t take it any longer and got into the shower. When I got out I looked at myself again. I looked better; everything was back to normal, besides the dark bags underneath my eyes. I got dressed and walked out, throwing my towel on the back of a chair and walked out of my room. When I entered the hallways, the smell of eggs and bacon filled my nose. It smelled great, but it made me feel sick to my stomach. I entered the kitchen and saw Ryeowook, Han Geng, Shindong, and Leeteuk sitting around the table, talking to Donghae about something. More than likely me. Shindong cleared his voice and they all stopped at looked at me, smiling.

“Where’s everyone else?” I asked acting like I didn’t realize they were talking and took the open seat besides Han Geng.

“Some are still asleep, and other’s are already getting ready for the day.” Leeteuk answered.

“Oh okay.” I said as I stared at the small cracks in the table. I felt everyone starring at me.

“Yah, what are you looking at?!” I yelled at everyone but Leeteuk since he was older. They all looked down. Donghae placed a plate of bacon and eggs in front of each of us. We ate in silence. Well they ate and I just sat there and played with my food. Stabbing my food with my fork. Getting angry that I couldn’t eat the food the Donghae made because I had no appetite, I pushed my chair back got up and dumped the food in the trash can and not so gently placed my plate and fork in the sink.

“Yah, be careful!” I heard Leeteuk call after me. I just rolled my eyes and walked to my room.