Not Good Enough

☆ A Dino Anthology ☆

word count : 753


 

You let out a small whine, one hand clinging onto the soft fabric of sweater the guy next to you was wearing. He lets out a small chuckle and questions you,

 

“What’s up? Was the new chapter of the manhwa disappointing or what?”

 

You blew a bubble at him and scrunched your nose.

 

“I wasn’t whining about that- but it was sort of disappointing. Like seriously, how could he not see that she likes him?”

 

Chan stayed quiet for a while before answering.

 

“You sure you weren’t whining on that?”

 

You let out a small laugh and playfully hit his left arm, shaking your head. The guy immediately covered himself with a pillow that was conveniently placed next to him, shielding himself.

 

“Alright alright, what were you whining about then?”

 

“Do you remember the guy that I told you about? The one that I Iike?”

 

The small smile on Chan’s face slightly falters, but he quickly covered it up before you could see it.

 

“Mm, I do. What’s up with him?”

 

“He has a girlfriend, Chan.”

 

The said guy then studies your face, checking if you were sad or not. Seeing the edge of your lips slightly pulled down, he wrapped his arm around you, patting your back as a way to comfort you.

 

Receiving the gesture, you bit down onto your lower lip as you tried to hold in the tears.

 

“It’s sort of sad, Chan. It’s sad knowing that he could be as single as ever, and he still wouldn’t pick me.”

 

Hearing your sentence, he furrowed his eyebrows.

 

“What do you mean he won’t pick you?”

 

A small bitter smile taints your lips, your eyes staring off into a blank space.

 

“He’s handsome, and I’m not even pretty. He’s effortlessly getting good grades in class, while I’m struggling to even get a passing grade for all subjects. He sounds amazing when he sings, meanwhile, I can’t even get a pitch right when I try to sing. I’m never gonna be good enough for him, Chan.”

 

A confused look was evident in Chan’s eyes, your words not making sense to him.

 

“You’re not making any sense, just so you know.”

 

After getting that response from him, you could only look into his eyes with sadness. Seeing the insecurity in your eyes, Chan can feel his heart cracking, himself hurting after knowing that you think so lowly of yourself.

 

“His girlfriend is very pretty, she’s effortlessly pretty. Her body is perfect, the type of body that guys always fall for. It’s not just that, her brain is great too. Unlike me. I’m probably just an ugly duckling comparing to her. Other than that, she’s nice too. She helps people a lot, and always has a kind smile. And then there’s me, a person who’s wishing ill for someone’s relationship. I really am the wor-”

 

Before you could finish your talk, he cuts you off first.

 

“Listen, you’re really not making any sense at all. You’re an amazing girl. Unlike what you say, you’re gorgeous. From your dark brown eyes, to your lips. From the natural curls of your hair, to the tip of your toe. You’re smart, you can solve things in a short time, just that you’re quite bad at memorising, but that doesn’t change anything, since in the future it’s not like they’re going to ban you from using references for your work. You would still land in a good position. As of kindness, you’re one of the most kind hearted person I’ve ever met. Wishing ill for someone’s relationship, because one of the person included in the relationship is someone you’re attracted to. It’s normal.”

 

As you heard his words, tears slowly start to spill out of your eyes, amazed that he could still find all these blatant lies to cheer you up. You knew it wasn’t you, the person he was describing. It was far from you.

 

Noticing your tears, he calls your name out in a soft voice.

 

“Stop trying to be good enough for someone. Just find someone who finds you enough.”

 

You shook your head weakly, your face now buried into the palms of your hand.

 

“It’s not that easy, Chan. It’s not. Maybe it’s because you don’t like anyone but, you don’t understand, Lee Chan. You just don’t know how bad it hurts to like someone so much and for them to have no idea how you feel.”

 

With a sad smile directed at you, he says in a slow voice.

 
 

“I guess I don’t then.”


 

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yjaeee #1
Chapter 3: author-nim this contradicts the last chapter.. My heart hurts instead ㅠ