word count : 1160

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“When I grow up, I’m gonna marry you!”

 

The sentence has been buried in his memory since years ago, the owner of the brain identified as,

Lee Chan. 23.

A small smile was lingering on his slightly dry lips.

His thoughts were focused on only one thing, or rather, girl. His childhood friend? Childhood crush? No, that would mean he’d stop loving her. Current crush, he concluded.

He had to leave his hometown a few years back, to get a better education at the big city. He wasn’t too sure on doing so, having to leave his family members and not knowing how to ‘fit in’ in general.

His parents managed to convince him though, saying that it’ll build him a better future, that he would be more successful than getting the ‘limited’ education they said that their province had to offer.

So he went, leaving them for a couple of years. It was hard at first, needing to remove  the dialect that he grew up with from his speech. But, he managed befriend a few great people that definitely played a part in helping him to familiarize himself with the new surroundings.

The first year, he managed to find time to go back home for a week, at a limit. But slowly, as time continued to pass, he was getting more and more jailed by the university stuff he had to finish, such as assignments. Groupworks weren’t helping him too, not wanting to not provide any help and make his groupmates label him as a ‘leech’.

But here was now. Graduated, free from everything that had trapped him in Seoul.

Now that he was able to go back to his hometown, he was planning to meet up with the girl that had been one reason for him to keep going, even when times were hard.

He was planning to make her his. He remembered the time they had to separate,

Two pair of eyes, looking into each other’s. One was filled with sadness, the other was full of guilt. It was just red eyes and sad talks on that day, no tears falling. They just didn’t want the other to feel bad, not wanting to feel like they’re bringing the other down.

But then again, they were never actually dating, or a couple. He wasn’t even sure if the girl had the same feelings he had for her. From the way she was around him, it wouldn’t be a 0% chance that she didn’t like him.

Or so he hope.

A sigh of mixed feelings seeped out from his lips, as he just slept the whole way back, shutting down his thoughts.

 

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Lee Chan had just finished unpacking a few of belongings. He also had lunch with his parents, along with his younger brother. It was definitely a great time, given that he had missed his mom’s cooking and that they managed to catch up on each other’s lives. It was a time full of laughter and talk.

He had sent a message to the girl that had been in his mind since forever, suggesting them to meet up. He would’ve called, but apparently he was too nervous to do so.

They planned to meet at the playground near their house that was located just a few blocks away, at 4.30 in the afternoon.

He glanced at the wall clock above the door to his room.

 

4.00

He took his phone, stuffing it into the pocket of his jeans along with his wallet, just in case. He then heads out of the house, a smile on his lips.

He could of took the option on riding the bicycle there, but he opted to walking instead, for old times’ sake. There wasn’t much of a difference in the place, just a few additions here and there, a few houses changed, most probably along with the owners too.

Halfway walking, his mind wandered off the girl he was going to meet.

Would she still look the same?

Obviously, she would’ve grown a few couple of centimeters right?

Did her voice mature too?

A smile lingered on his lips, just thinking about the possibilities. But then, another thought entered his head.

What if she has a boyfriend?

What if her boyfriend’s following?

The edge of his eyebrows creased, a small frown evident on his lips. He quickly shook out the thought, thinking that it was impossible.

A few thoughts later, he could see the playground they used to play at almost all the time, as if it was his second home. He dragged his feet to the swings, taking a seat on the right side of it.

His eyes scanned the playground, the memories in his head playing vividly. Out of nowhere, the swing next to him moved, a pair of feet entering his vision. He looks up, next to him, and there she was ; the girl that he missed dearly.

She had definitely grown than the last time he was her. Her hair was more of a lighter shade now, and slightly longer. Her face features had matured along with her age, her shoulders too, broadening quite a bit.

Nevertheless, nothing much changed, even the fastening rate of his beating heart.

They first started off quite awkwardly, given that they haven’t seen each other for a long time. But as time did it’s work, soon enough they were talking as if nothing had changed.

Just as Chan was going to confess his feelings, he noticed something shining on the girl’s finger.

A ring?

His childhood friend noticed that he was looking at it, and bashfully mentioned that she had found someone who she loved, who she believed to be the one for her.

Even a heartbreak would be an understatement of what Lee Chan currently feels.

He awkwardly acknowledges it and congratulated her. He made up an excuse that he had something to do, before he would break down in front her.

He quickly walked away from the place, a bitter smile on his lips.

“I’m going to marry you one day!”

“Okay, I’m going to wait for you! You better not go to someone else and break your promise!”

She broke the promise.

With each step he takes, his shoulder feels more and more heavy. The tears in his eyes were gathering, his lips bitten as to stop the tears from falling out.

There really is nothing else to lose now, is there?

He thought as a drop of tear managed to escape and roll down his cheeks. A small bitter laugh was heard from the boy’s mouth, as if mocking himself.

Of course Lee Chan, it was a meaningless promise made when we were young and naive. We probably only knew the love that was planted for our parents and siblings. You should’ve seen this coming.

 

But if it really was a meaningless promise to him, then why wouldn’t the tears stop falling, and his heart stop aching?

 

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