‘I must hide it at all cost……’

Park Jimin cut himself for the fourth times today. He needed to feel something which proved him that he was alive. The members kind of went distant from him. It gave him, more and more stress in the daily routine. Cutting was his way of appreciating life. His old habit started again, after his argument with Jin. The day of the argument, all the night long he has thought about the blade. Near 3:45 am, he couldn’t take it anymore. He wanted to release all the hate he had against him. He took it and pressed it against his skin. He remembered the good pleasure he had with it. He also got afraid when he saw all the blood around him. He didn’t think that he would cut that deeply. He cleaned up his mess and went back to sleep. This night he didn’t sleep well. He has broken his promise with his childhood friend. A promise that was supposed to give him strenght in difficult moment. He thought back of them when they were full of hope for their future.

**

They were at the same Dance school. They aspired to the same dream: becoming a successful idol. They first became dance-partner before becoming best friend. His name was Taemin. One day, Jimin fell on his arm and get accompanied to the nurse’s office by Taemin. The nurse was absent so a teacher allowed them to do the bandage by themselves.

“Jimin?...... What are those marks on your arms?

-Ah this…. Don’t worry it’s nothing!

-I know those marks, this is NOT nothing….”

Jimin forgot those marks and was now thinking of telling or not to Taemin. It has been six months that they know each other and almost everything were shared between those two. Taemin always resolved his current problem with him. He finally decided to tell him but later. If he was his best friend like he said several times, he would at least not judge him.

“Are you free tonight, Taemin?

-Yes…...?

-Let’s see each other at 7:00 pm then.

-Don’t be late or I’ll tell your mom about-

-You better don’t.”

What Taemin was talking about concerned the part time job that Jimin recently got. He was hiding this from his parents because he wanted to be independent. Plus, he secretly wanted to buy a birthday gift for his mother.

At 7:00 pm, the two friends meet up and start talking. Jimin straight explained why he was cutting himself. All this pressure from the school and even his parents to be the best is too much for him. The low self-esteem he has about himself. His wish to die. He didn’t understand why life was so hard for him. He although, understood that he was lucky compared to others people from the globe.

All this time Taemin didn’t say anything. He only listened Jimin’s thought