This chapter contains angst. It's my first time writing it and I hope it went well. If you don't like it.... oops :)

I can't believe it. It's been a month and a half since I moved to South Korea. It was unbelievable how much time had passed. The boys and I have become so much closer these last few weeks, especially Yoongi and Jungkook. I doted on Jungkook as much as the other members, but unlike them, I scolded him when he got too out of hand with his hyungs. I was like Yoongi in that aspect, always the heavy hand when it came to the maknaes. Yoongi and I often lazed about talking about everything and nothing at the same time. All three of us would get ice cream, sometimes bringing some back for the others, or go to karaoke.

Taehyung is another member I've gotten close to. We watch YouTube videos together, sing together, play with my cats, everything. At the same time, though, he seems distant. I'll sometimes catch him looking at me with this intense, mischievous look in his eyes, like he's planning something. I was almost scared to find out what it was.

Jin was still the member I went to if I had something bothering me. Lately, I would reminisce about Madison because the anniversary of her death was coming soon. In two days, it will have been one year since my sister in all but blood died. During the times I would tell our stories to Jin, I never cried. I was always sad, but it seemed that I was just out of tears. I felt bad about that sometimes, like I should at least shed a tear whenever I talked about her. Jin said I was healing, but I wasn't so sure.

Hobi and I got along great. We had the same sort of energy and were the 'mood makers'. I was a pretty good dancer, the boys would comment whenever Hobi, or one of the other boys, and I would play Just Dance. I'd never played it before I met them, but I discovered it was very fun. I always won whenever we danced to I Got a Boy by SNSD or Good Boy by GD X Taeyang. They were the first Kpop dances I ever learned.

The members I was least closest to were Namjoon and Jimin. Don't get me wrong, we still had fun together, but I never really 'clicked' with them like I did the others. If I was being honest with myself, I'd say the reason Namjoon and I didn't click was because he reminded me too much of my ex: a great leader, smooth talker, seemingly strong but actually clumsy.

Unfortunately, the boys were having their concerts for their comeback, so they've been busy lately. Luckily, they were coming back to Seoul for two weeks before going to Japan. I would be going with them then, in case I was needed.

Currently, I was watching Supernatural on Netflix, cuddling with my kitties. Takara was laying on the back of the couch by my head; Eiji was laying on my right; Koji was curled up on my left and Yua was laying on my lap. The boys' flight was supposed to arrive in a few hours so I had decided to continue trying to catch up on SN. Unfortunately, I was only in the middle of the second season, while Season 12 episodes were already coming out. So many episodes.

My phone started to ring suddenly, so I paused the episode. "Hello?" I answered, not bothering to check the caller id.

"Hey munchkin," a familiar voice greeted.

I sat up abruptly, a grin spreading on face. "Ma! Oh my gosh. It's been so long since I've heard from you. How are you? How's Apollo, Artemis, and Atlanta?" Those were the horses that I helped my mom raise. She owned a ranch on the outskirts of VA Beach. Apollo and Artemis were bred from the same stallion who was a purebred. Atlanta was our race horse, named after the mortal in Greek mythology who was known as the 'fastest mortal alive'. She'd won medals in many competitions. We owned five other horses, but those three were mine.

"Nice to know you care more about the horses than your own mother," Mama said with a chuckle. "They're fine. Actually Artemis is going to have Casanova's foal. She's four months along."

I smiled. "Casanova's living up to his name I guess. How are you, Mom?"

"I'm fine, but I think the important question is how are you?" She asked.

"Honestly? I'm doing a lot better. You know those boys I used to talk about all the time, BTS? Well, I met them and I'm their translator for my internship. We've gotten really close and now I've become a part of their family. And..." I blushed.

I heard her gasp. "You found a boy?"

I groaned, dreading this conversation. "Yes. He's one of the members. His stage name is V but his real name is Taehyung. He was always my favorite member. He's cute, y, sweet, fun, smart but a bit of an airhead. Of course, he's obviously incredibly talented, too."

We talked about the boys for a while before she had to hang up. "Bye Eomma. I love you and I'll talk to you soon," I said. 

After the call ended, I continued watching Supernatural. I ignored the single tear that rolled down my face.

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*Riing* *Riing*

I shot up from the couch, falling off in the process. I ran to the door and opened it, stretching. "I wasn't sleeping, I swear," I greeted with a yawn and a grin. I really didn't realize that I fell asleep. I was standing in front of seven attractive boys in a big, dark grey sweater with a big white cat sitting with a kitty grin on it, black boxer shorts, and probably messy hair. It was only slightly embarrassing.

"Guys~ I missed you so much!" I excalimed, giving them all hugs. "It's been so boring lately without you guys."

Hobi laughed. "What would your life be like without us?" He asked.

Jin and I made eye contact, but I quickly looked away. I knew exactly what my life would be like without them. "My life would be rainbows, butterflies, and sunny skies without you all," I teased.

Jungkook slung his arm around my shoulders. "You wish."

He was right. I did wish that my life had been great before I met them. I wish that these boys weren't the only thing currently keeping me from extreme depression and self-pity. I wish I could live without these boys, but the truth was.... I couldn't imagine a life without them at all.

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Today was the dreaded day. The day my life changed forever. The day a hole that could never be filled formed in my heart. The day I lost the best thing in my life.

~Flashback~

"Hey, ! Why the hell are you not ready yet?!" I heard a familiar voice yell from outside the shower curtain.

I smiled. "Well, if a certain hadn't forgotten to tell me what time I was supposed to wake up, this would be ready by now!" I yelled back.

The shower curtain was ripped open, revealing the grinning face of my best friend. She was so gorgeous with natural red hair, not obnoxious orange, bright green eyes, freckles and porcelain skin. She was slightly shorter than me but had a bigger . I made up for it though because I had bigger s than her. I always liked to brag about it to her.

"Hey, Sonny," I greeted, shutting the water off and stepping out. She handed me my towel.

"Hey Yuki," she replied. When we were kids, living in Japan, I started calling her Sonny instead of Madison. She wanted to name me something sort of opposite of her nickname, so she started calling me Yuki, which meant snow. I asked her how that had anything to with my nickname for her. She said that her name sounded like 'Sunny' so she chose Yuki as my nickname because snow melts in the sun.

Once I was dried off, I pulled on my clothes before hugging Sonny. "So, I've decided that boys are overrated. What do you say we get married baby?" Madison joked.

"Mmm. You know it, darling," I replied, giving her a big, loud kiss on her cheek. "But no eloping to Vegas and having an Elvis impersonator be our officiant," I said, slapping her as I walked passed. 

I heard her running after me, so I took off running too. I ran to the other side of the couch and stopped, turning to her. She stopped on the opposite side of the couch. I feigned taking off and she ran. We chased after each before she tackled me onto the couch.  We laughed, and though she was heavy, laying on top of me, I thought this was it. Even if I never found a boy to settle down with, Madison was the one I wanted to be with forever.

~End~

I was laying curled on the couch, my headphones on, listening to an old playlist. The current song ended and the next started. It was a song I hadn't heard in forever, not since right after Madison died. It was Miley Cyrus' song I Miss You.

I sang along with the lyrics.

"You used to call me your angel,
Said I was sent straight down from heaven.
You'd hold me close in your arms,
I loved the way you felt so strong.
I never wanted you to leave,
I wanted you to stay here holding me.

I miss you, I miss your smile,
And I still shed a tear,
Every once in a while.
And even though it's different now,
You're still here somehow.
My heart won't let you go,
And I need you to know,
I miss you.
Sha la la la la
I miss you."

By the time the song was over, I was sobbing. It hurt. So much. I've never known anything more painful than this. Why did she leave me? What happened to forever?!

I screamed and grabbed the lamp on the table beside the couch, throwing it against the wall. It shattered into pieces and scattered on the ground. I stood up begain throwing pillows, every statement punctuated by my throwing. "Why did you leave me? Did you ever even love me? You lied! You said we were going to be friends forever! You lied! I hate you!" I stumbled into the wall by the front door, sliding down the wall. "You lied. You lied. Why would you lie?" I stared at the wall in front of me, but saw nothing. I felt nothing, but tears still rolled down my cheeks.

Not even really conscious of my actions, I crawled over to my phone and dialed a number.

There was some shuffling on the other end. "Hello?"

"Can you guys get over here... ASAP?"

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(V's pov)

"Uh, guys?" Yoongi said loud enough to get our attention.

We stopped what we were doing. He continued. "Ana just called. She needs us to get to her house immediately. She sounded... really upset."

That got us going, grabbing wallets and phones and anything else we would possibly need. We were in the van not even five minutes later. And ten minutes after that, we were in front of Ana's door. Jin grabbed the key she gave him for whenever we came over and unlocked the door. The sight laid before us was not what we were expecting. The place was trashed. Broken glass was scattered on the floor along with a bunch of CD's and DVD's. Pillows were thrown everywhere across the room. Picture frames that once hung on the wall were knocked down, the side table next to the couch was flipped and laying in the middle of it all was Ana, curled up in a ball, sobbing her eyes out. Her back was turned to us.

I reacted first, running over to Ana and bending down beside her. I turned her over and checked for injuries. Her hands and legs had cuts all over, probably from the glass. Most of them were bleeding. I tried pulling her up but she started kicking and screaming.

"No! Let go! Let me go! I want to go. I want to join her! Just let me die already!" She slowly stopped kicking until she was just sobbing in my arms. "Just let me die," she whispered brokenly.

I picked her up before turning to the others. They were kneeling right behind me and were shocked, seeming to have heard her pleas. "Jin, will you take her to the bathroom and run a bath for her? Maybe talk to her and get her to calm down a little. While you're doing that, the rest of us will clean up a bit," I said. Jin nodded and gathered Ana from my arms. We all watched him walk to the bathroom and shut the door. No one talked as we cleaned up the place. The air was tense and solemn, none of us believing that the fun girl who always smiled was the same person as the girl we just saw, who was ready to leave this world.

It took a half hour for things to be looking relatively the same again, sans the lamp that Ana threw at the wall. The cats were all hidden somewhere, probably too scared to come out. We all sat down, feeling worried and nervous.

After a few tense moments, the bathroom door slowly opened and Ana stepped out in another sweater (this one had "I'm a cat" written on it though), sweatpants, and socks. Her hands were wrapped in gauze and Ace bandages. She walked over to the couch and sat down, not saying anything. There was no light in her eyes; they were just a dull grey color, which scared me. Maybe sensing that she needed some comfort, all four of the cats appeared within a few seconds of each other. Ana buried her face in Eiji's fur, taking a deep breath before she raised her head.

"I'm sorry," she croaked, her voice hoarse from screaming and crying.

I opened my mouth to say something but Yoongi beat me to it. "Don't say you're sorry, Emi. You have nothing to be sorry for. Obviously you're dealing with something right now that we don't know. We're here for you, always, so don't say sorry." We all nodded in agreement. For some reason, Ana broke down in tears again.

"I thought I was okay. I know that I wasn't before coming here. But ever since I met you guys and became close to you, I've been so happy. So, I thought I was okay," she sniffled. "But I'm not. One year ago today, I lost someone who I wanted to spend forever with." I closed my eyes, assuming she was talking about a boy. "Her name was Madison. She'd been my best friend since I lived in Japan. She my sister, really. Thirteen years of having her by my side, and if she wasn't by my side, she was only a phone call or video chat away. Thirteen years of ups and downs that were so worth it because she was there every step of the way. And now... she's gone. And I can never get her back!" She yelled, collapsing into sobs. Yua mewed and her tears away, only making Ana cry harder. "To make it worse, I feel the reason I'm not over it yet is because I thought I had to be strong. I thought I was only allowed to mourn for a little bit and then I had to go back to the way things were. I didn't have anyone to tell me that it was okay to cry sometimes, that mourning takes time, that it was okay to-to be sad! I'm so used to people leaving me now, that I thought you guys would leave after seeing me like this. For you to say that you're always here, it's so relieving. It's like a weight has been lifted and I can breathe again. I thought I was breathing before but I guess I was gasping, trying to stay alive...." She trailed off.

I stood and walked over to her. I took her hand and pulled her up. Then, I wrapped my arms around her. Slowly, the others stood and joined in the hug, whispering comforting words. Eventually, Ana's cries slowed to a stop and she sighed. "Thank you," she whispered, relaxing her tensed state. As we started pulling away, she brought her hands to her face and wiped the tears away. She laughed quietly. "I made such a mess. It's gonna be a to...clean." She smiled when she noticed everything was back to the way it was.

"For the record, Madison will be with you forever. As long as you live in the memory of her, and never forget, she will live on forever, through you," Jungkook mumbled comfortingly. He must've heard it personally from someone.

Ana smiled. "I know that now. I've done my time mourning. Now, it's time to move on. I will be happy and I will live the way I know Sonny would want me to live. Now that I think about it, maybe she led me to you."

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(Ana's pov)

That night, I dreamt of her. It was a memory... or well a collage of memories.

"You can't leave, Yuki!" Six year old Sonny said, tears falling down her chubby cheeks.

I grabbed her in a hug. "I don't want to leave but Kaa-chan and I have to go. I'll see you again, I swear it. Always and forever, remember?"

Sonny pulled back and smiled. "Always and forever. Good bye, Anastasia Summers. I hope we'll meet again someday." She gave me one last hug before I got in the car. I watched her until her form was a speck in the distance. She waved the whole time.

(Five years later)

"I can't believe we're going to different middle schools!" Madison exclaimed, leaning against the row of lockers. It was the last day of elementary school.

I grinned. "You act like we don't live right next to each other and will see each other over the summer," I replied, punching her in the arm playfully.

When she didn't punch back, I frowned. "About that..." Sonny said. "My mom pulled a fast one on me last night and told me that early tomorrow morning, we're going to visit my grandparents in Minnesota over summer break. Can you believe that? Minnesota! I didn't even know people lived there. Except, like, Canadians."

I giggled. Leave it up to Sonny to make a sad moment happier. "I'm sure there something to do in Minnesota. Don't worry about it. Before you know it, summer will pass and you'll be back here, annoying me to death once again." I laughed as she grabbed me in a playful chockhold, giving me a noogie. I shrieked. "No! Noo, stop it! It hurts! Uncle! Uncle!" She let go and turned serious again.

Madison pulled me into a hug. "Don't forget me alright?" She begged.

"Never. Always and forever, right?"

"Always and forever. I'll miss you, Scooby. Goodbye."

"Good bye, Shaggy."

(Two years later)

"I can't believe you're moving to Italy while I'm stuck here," Sonny complained.

I chuckled, zipping my suitcase up. "I'll fly you out whenever I can. You can visit during the summers. I can show you around Europe. I heard it's really cheap to travel to places in Europe when you live there. Maybe we'll go to Ireland and Greece."

"Ooo. Sounds very exciting. I can't wait! Ok. I can practically here your moms foot tapping on the ground impatiently," she said, rolling her eyes. We laughed before hugging each other.

"Don't find any other girlfriends... or boyfriends. I'm the only one for you!" Sonny joked.

I smiled. "Always and forever, Shaggy."

"Always and forever, Scooby."

The scene changed again to the day Madison died, six years later.

"I'm actually going on a date with Chase Greene. Can you believe it?" Sonny squealed.

I brushed her bangs away from her face. "Of course I can believe it. You've been crushing on this guy for months. You're beautiful and you go after what you want. I'm not surprised at all."

"Thanks baby."

I pointed at her as a mother would. "That's not to say that you should go and get married to him. The only person you'll be marrying in your life is me!"

She shoved me playfully before she walked into her closet. "I wouldn't dream of it baby!"

"Always and forever, darling?"

"Always and forever, indeed."

Suddenly, I was at the scene of the accident. The ambulence was driving away, sirens on. "I'm not going to make it, am I?" I hear a voice behind me say.

I turn and there she is, in the same outfit as earlier. I give her a watery smile. "No. You won't even make it to the hospital. You were unconscious when they got here... your heart just stops beating."

Madison stepped closer to me, taking my hands. Or trying to. They went right through mine. All I felt was a mist. "I don't want to leave you, Yuki. We were supposed to be together forever," she cried.

Gulping back the tears, I choked out, "Everything's going to be alright. I'll never forget you. I'll be happy because I know you'll want me to be, Sonny."

"Baby, I want more than that. I want you to get married and have three kids. One boy and two girls. I want you to grow old with your husband, watching your kids accomplish amazing feats. And then, when you pass, I'll be standing right on the other side, waiting for you. Then, I'll steal you away and marry you myself."

I laughed brokenly. "I can't wait, darling. We'll see each other again. I know it. Always and forever, remember?" I whispered.

"Always and forever. I love you so much."

"I love you more."

We tried to hug, but it was like hugging a cloud. I didn't care, I felt her now more than I ever did. "Goodbye, Shaggy." I whispered.

"Goodbye, Scooby."

I slowly opened my eyes, the morning light slightly penetrating through my curtains, lighting my room up just enough. Remembering my dream, I smiled softly. Everything was going to be alright. That much was true.

Okay, so this was a really angsty chapter, but that's about the only angst that'll be in here. From now until the end, it's mostly fluff. Anyway, leave a comment or give me an upvote, if you'd like. 

xx Panda :)