Jiyong was nervous, so extremely nervous. 

The two men stood outside of Seungri’s apartment as the younger was unlocking the door very slowly. He was still feeling sick so every movement was strictly planned beforehand and being observed by them both to avoid any mishaps. That being said, Jiyong had a lot of time to mentally prepare himself for what was about to happen, knowing he would see the other’s apartment for the first time. It was a big deal for the idol because the inside of someone’s home could tell one so much and needless to say, Jiyong had been wondering about how it would look like for quite some time now.

 

The clicking sound of the door being opened brought him back to the present and he watched as Seungri stepped through the door frame into the dim hallway which suddenly lightened up as he switched on the light. It had gotten late and while it wasn’t particularly dark outside the sun had started setting and the hallway didn’t seem to have any windows, only being illuminated by the other rooms that were connected with it.

 

„So, that’s where I live.“ Seungri huffed and struggled out of his shoes, successfully trying to get out of them without bending down and barfing all over the floor, which Jiyong was very thankful for.

 

The hallway was neither small nor big but instead connected to what seemed to be a rather spacious living room. It didn’t matter where the rapper looked, pictures and decorations adorned every possible space that his eyes could catch sight of, everything appeared to be brought from his trips.

But the first thing that really caught Jiyong’s attention was to his right on the wall in the living room. He was greeted by a giant poster of himself and his signature, the prize every fan won at his concert in Tokyo and later in Seoul as well. Seungri actually really hung it up the wall and on top of that in a room where everybody could see it. Unbelievable.

 

When Jiyong turned to ask the younger why he wasn’t ashamed at all he found himself standing there alone, at least until he saw a mop of black curly hair resting on the armrest of the cream colored couch placed in the center of the room.

A little worried about the motionless body Jiyong carefully shuffled over to the couch, ’carefully’ because the floor was kind of slippery and he was only wearing socks.

 

„Seungri? Are you okay?“

„Probably but if I move now I might explode. Through my mouth. On your feet.“

„Well, at least now you know what happens when you eat too much ice cream, maybe you’ve learnt from it and think about it twice next time.“ The blonde chuckled.

„Are you kidding me? You don’t know how many times I’ve been through this.“

„What? Are you telling me this happens on a regular basis?!“

„Of course?“

„What do you mean ‚of course‘?! Why would you do that?“

„Excuse me? People drink alcohol even though they know they’ll have to puke the next day.“

 

That was true actually.

 

„Is there something you need?“ Jiyong asked and knelt in front of the younger’s face, which was suddenly a bit closer than he had previously expected.

„No thank you, I know from experience that I will feel better soon, so I’ll just lie here and wait. You can look around my apartment if you want though, I have nothing to hide.“

„Are you sure?“ Jiyong would never let someone snoop around his flat.

„Yep, but I might fall asleep so just wake me up when you are done.“ Seungri closed his eyes as if he had already planned to fall asleep and thus ended their conversation with that. 

What were they, roommates at a summer camp? 

 

With an amused „Okay.“ Jiyong stood up again and decided it was time to search for the toilet, because, apparently, he needed to pee really badly. Before he even got the chance to find it though he was basically screamed at by a picture that couldn’t be not seen. It wasn’t ’screaming’ at him because it looked crazy, in fact it wasn’t particularly colorful like some other things in this house. But it was big. Very big. Even bigger than the poster of Jiyong. The photograph contained an elephant baby and Jiyong was nearly a hundred percent sure that this was Broccoli, Seungri’s child he had adopted, and the idol had to admit that it was unbelievably adorable. Maybe that’s why he thought it had similarities with Seungri.

 

After staring at the animal, kind of falling in a love with it, he was reminded by his bladder that he had some urgent business to take care of. To his relief Seungri’s bathroom was the first door he opened and was surprised to see how small it was. It had no windows and just a sink with a small mirror, a toilet and a cramped shower. All in all it looked clean but it was stuffed with all kinds of toiletries, cosmetics and literally everything else a person needed. It was obvious that this room was way too small for the kindergarten teacher.

 

After having relieved himself, Jiyong washed his hands in the tiny sink, noticing the strawberry soap, before he proceeded his apartment tour. Peeking inside the next room, which turned out to be a storing room only, he discovered lots and lots of food, cleaning utensils and other necessaries. Nothing interesting if you ignored just how weird a few of Seungri’s food choices were. What the heck was toilet candy?!

 

Shutting the door behind him, Jiyong opened the next one and found it to be the younger’s office. In the center of the middle sized room stood a giant angled office desk on which two monitors and a laptop were placed, as well as many document and files. Did someone, who just invested in real estates as a side hobby, really need this much equipment? It looked like so much boring work, the younger probably put a lot of effort into his job.

In the back of the room was a large window, which illuminated the room and the big book shelves that decorated the remaining walls. Seungri must’ve been smart if he had actually read all of them!

 

A little reverent Jiyong closed this door as well and went to the last room, except the kitchen, which was located at the other side of the flat. It was Seungri’s bedroom and when Jiyong entered he was shocked by how similar it was to his own. This whole apartment was so different from Jiyong’s, he liked it to be simple and tidy with a bit of art and decoration here and there while Seungri’s home was packed with everything he probably ever owned and found to be significant since he moved out from his parent’s home. Well, at least it still looked like he had some kind of style.

But both of their bedrooms were very light and open, the window here was the biggest in the entire apartment and made the room look even larger. The bed was placed in the middle and had, like the couch in the living room, a creamy color just as the rest of the furniture in there. It seemed like he had put the most thought into designing this room.

 

Jiyong walked in further and took a closer look, perhaps it was a little inappropriate to do that in someone’s bedroom but it basically screamed personal! and that was always a reason for the rapper to dive into the matter even deeper. His parents didn’t use to call him ‚gold digger‘ for no reason, it was well known that if he searched for someone’s secrets he would find them and nothing could stop him. The difference right now though was that Jiyong wanted to keep them to himself instead of telling his friends about it for a change, he didn’t want anybody to know intimate facts or stories about Seungri.

 

On the bedside table were two framed pictures. The first one was an old family picture with a middle aged couple and two children, a boy and an even younger girl. The boy was undoubtedly Seungri, those dark circles were not to be overlooked, and the girl was probably Hanna, his younger sister.

In the second picture a very old couple sat on a log in the woods, the lighting was beautiful and the photograph itself seemed to be recent. The old man held his wife’s hand tightly, proudly showing off his wedding band, and smiled at her lovingly. The woman looked into the camera but her affection towards her husband was so clear and evident it nearly blinded the idol, their happiness and longing for each other was incredibly touching. Jiyong guessed those two were Seungri’s grandparents. He also noticed the black bow which was wrapped around the edge of the frame and even though he didn’t know them personally sadness spread through his chest and caused a hot stinging feeling to appear behind his eyelids. Life was unfair, wasn’t it?

 

Jiyong lingered there for a bit, being unexpectedly affected by the old couple’s fate, before he left the room in silence, trying to shake off the tense and sudden feeling of regret.

It worked though the moment he stepped through the living room to take a look at the kitchen, because his gaze automatically wandered off to the sleeping figure, that had subconsciously curled up into a ball. The blonde bit his lower lip as he haltered in his tracks and eventually sneaked over to take another look at the sleeping beauty. Finally he got the chance without the other noticing and being thrown at with smart remarks. 

Seungri must’ve been dreaming because Jiyong could see his eyes moving beneath his eyelids as his lips slowly turned into a little pout.

A man was only so strong until he gave in and so did the idol as he pushed the silky and curly locks out of the younger’s closed eyes, letting his fingertips slightly run over the smooth skin of Seungri’s forehead before they wandered down to his eyelashes. They were so much longer than Jiyong’s, deep black and full like those of a woman. The rapper was so intrigued by them but nearly died when they suddenly fluttered open and ruined this peaceful moment.

 

Jiyong literally flew through the entire room and burst into the kitchen, escaping the very dangerous situation while holding onto his racing heart. 

 

Holy ing ! That was close!

 

At a second glance, after Jiyong had calmed down a bit, the kitchen had a completely different atmosphere from his own. Perhaps because it looked like someone actually used it. 

It was clean and tidy but there were many utensils, kitchen appliances, seasonings and herbs and if he opened the fridge, he’d probably find real ingredients instead of leftovers from the last three take outs.

Jiyong barely ever used his kitchen but it looked nice, especially since it’s an open one which was connected to his living room.

 

Wait.

 

How the could he get distracted by the kitchen in a moment like this?!

HAD SEUNGRI NOTICED WHAT JIYONG DID?!

Hopefully not because it was definitely not easy to explain, if it was explainable at all that Jiyong had been creepily touching his face while the other was asleep.

God, he was just glad that Seungri himself was a ing weirdo, every other person would’ve either told the public about G-Dragons weird behaviors or sued him for ual assault or some .

 

He really didn’t want to go back to where the younger slept until Jiyong woke him up but he also knew that he had to confront the situation and find out if the other had noticed and thought of him as strange now, so he cautiously exited the kitchen and went back to the living room slowly. 

Sadly Seungri was awake as he sat upright on the couch and Jiyong swore the younger stared into his soul with his gaze already pinned on the rapper when he stepped towards him.

At first the other’s expression was unreadable but in a matter of seconds it changed into a knowing smirk and Jiyong knew Seungri wanted to , cheeky bastard.

 

„And? Do you like my apartment? Or other things in my apartment? Special features perhaps?“ 

„Yes, I think I might like those features your apartment has.“ It was too late now anyways, might as well just join the teasing with confidence.

„Oh?“ Seungri grinned and observed Jiyong as said one walked over and stopped right in front of him, only to bend down until their faces where on the same level. Two could play this game.

 

Seungri was so damn handsome up close and for the first time Jiyong noticed how one corner of the other’s mouth was always turned upwards while the other was slightly turned downwards, even when he smiled and this fact was so random and irrelevant but important at the same time, it was something Jiyong definitely would pay attention to every time he saw him from now on.

What excited him though was how Seungri’s eyes flickered down to Jiyong’s lips, obviously staring at them for a moment before they went up again. Jiyong was fully aware of how plump and attractive his lips were but seeing the younger ogling them definitely boosted his ego.

 

„Feeling better?“ Jiyong breathed, their faces considerably closer now.

„Way better.“ Seungri mumbled, his eyes were back on Jiyong’s lips.

„Mmh-“

 

THUMP!

 

„…Ouch…“

 

Of course Seungri had leant forward too much, resulting in him falling off the couch face first onto the floor and sadly past Jiyong’s face. The situation was pathetic, the mood totally ruined, but the rapper burst out laughing anyway as he looked at Seungri whose was the only part of his body that wasn’t met with the ground and stuck up into the air.

 

„You are such a klutz!“ Jiyong squeaked out between laughing fits and attempts to catch his breath.

Seungri squinted at him and huffed theatrical before he rolled on his back and stuck his foot into the older’s face.

 

„You think it’s funny? Take this!“ He yelled with evil laughter as he violently rubbed his foot against Jiyong’s cheek. „Still think it’s funny?“

„Ew, you’re so gross!“

 

Jiyong took hold of Seungri leg, grabbing his other one in the process, and bent them over Seungri’s head until his was unprotected and immediately became the victim of the idol’s hardcore kicking technique.

When Jiyong stopped Seungri smirked right into his face.

 

„So you are into stuff, huh?“

 

Needless to say, the kicking didn’t stop after that.

 

 

 

~

 

 

 

„Until Saturday then?“

„Yes, until Saturday.“

 

Jiyong was standing in the door frame of Seungri’s apartment as he was about to leave and it was a giant struggle to say goodbye. He supposed it was so hard because it was the middle of the week meaning Saturday was still a few days away, but it couldn’t be helped, they both were busy and wouldn’t have time to meet up any sooner. 

Jiyong had called his driver earlier to come and get him but now he sincerely regretted it, he really wanted to stay longer. It was only shortly after 10 pm but the idol didn’t want to push it, it was his first visit at the younger’s home after all. If the driver wouldn’t have been waiting for about ten minutes already, Jiyong definitely would’ve dragged the whole thing out even more.

 

„Yeah… I gotta go now.“

 

Seungri smiled and nodded before pulling Jiyong into an embrace. It wasn’t a quick one though and despite the first few seconds it also wasn’t awkward like the previous ones, well, at least for Jiyong they were.

Seungri had wrapped his arms around Jiyong’s shoulder’s, while the blonde hugged the other’s waist, resting his head in the crook of his neck. It was so warm and secure, Jiyong wasn’t used to be held like that. He was usually the one hugging girls in a protective manner but now that he was in their situation he could understand how they must’ve felt. 

 

It was weird, being and idol and one of the most famous ones in his country, always meant a massive amount of responsibilities to carry on his own and even though he had a company and employees to take care of him, it was Jiyong who would get bashed if something was to happen, even if it wasn’t even his fault. He had experienced it many times and every little incident had left a scar, big or small, it didn’t matter, they were always there.

So being embraced as if he could just let go of those responsibilities, as if he wasn’t alone but instead save and protected by someone who cared for him felt indescribable and freeing.

Right now he was okay. In Seungri’s arms he felt like he was okay.

 

The younger didn’t say a word, as if he felt the idol’s worries ,he kept him steady and held him tight to make sure he was comfortable. Jiyong knew he had to leave now but it was difficult when you finally found a place where you wanted to be, as cheesy as that might’ve sounded.

Begrudgingly the older pulled away and even though the gloomy thoughts had taken over for a second, when he looked into Seungri’s face it all seemed to evaporate into unimportance. There was nothing more beautiful than the man in front of him.

 

Oh, Jiyong was so screwed.

 

„I’ll text you when I’m home.“ He said and Seungri sent him a blinding smile.

„Alright, take care of yourself, Jiyongie.“

 

 

 

It was ridiculous how fast his heart was beating even now that he sat in a fancy car on his way back home. 

Jiyong was without a doubt head over heels for that man he had just hugged, it felt like he was punched in the stomach but in a pleasant and tingling flowery pink-ish kind of way, if that made any sense. It sounded stupid, even to him.

 

The idol thought back to his past relationships, had they been like this too? Had he ever felt this out of mind? This powerless and overwhelmed? Had he ever wanted to be with someone as much as he wanted to be with Seungri?

Maybe it was because it had been some time since his last relationship but he thought that they definitely felt different, monotonous and indifferent, perhaps even colorless compared to what he experienced right now.

But then again, even if Seungri liked him too, there were issues Jiyong simply couldn’t ignore.

 

 

to: Youngbae<3

 

Hey, do you have time later? I need someone to talk

 

sent: 10.21 pm

 

 

 

~

 

 

 

„I brought alcohol, I have a clue what this is about and I think we will need it.“ The pink haired man said the second he walked through Jiyong’s front door.

„Thanks Bae.“

 

Youngbae, after getting rid of his sneakers, walked straight to the living and let himself fall onto the large couch. He had been here so many times, one could say it was his second home. Jiyong went to the kitchen, getting two wine glasses and a corkscrew before he came back and sat down next to the singer, already opening one of the wine bottles. Both men weren’t ’fancy alcohol consumers‘ and usually preferred the rough kind but some years ago it became their habit to drink red wine when discussing deeper topics.

The younger of the two filled their glasses nearly to the rim, it was unusual but he didn’t want to refill them every two minutes.

 

„Let’s get straight to the point, this is about Seungri, isn’t it?“ Youngbae asked and took a tiny sip of the red liquid. He still wasn’t a fan of it, why did they even start this ritual?

 

Jiyong followed his example but took a bigger swig than his best friend while staring at a barely noticeable spot on the wall where he once smashed a nearly empty bottle of Bourbon after he became the face of a scandal again. 

 

„That’s right.“ 

„So what is it? Did you confess and he told you he’s straight?“

„No, nothing really happened, it’s not like that.“

„Then why do you look so defeated?“

 

Jiyong turned to look at the guy that had been by his side for so many years that he sometimes forgot they weren’t actually brothers by blood. He knew he could tell him everything, Youngbae wouldn’t judge him.

 

„It’s just- You all… You, Chaerin and Seunghyun, you act like it’s so simple but you know that it’s not. We are not in America, Seungri and I are both men and even if he should like me I could never seriously date him, could I?“

 

Youngbae pursed his lips as he thought about what to reply. It was a risky topic.

 

„Can I ask you something first?“ The older asked.

„What?“

„I know you have a crush on him but do you actually like him?“

„I do.“ It came out faster than planned and caused Youngbae’s eyebrows to shoot up at the quick response.

„Uh, I mean, I do but then again there’s the next issue I have because, as you know, I love children, I want to get married and have my own family, but like this…“

 

Saying it out loud was much worse than what Jiyong had expected it to be, it hurt badly. He didn’t know Seungri for long, heck, he didn’t even know how the other felt about him but yet he also wasn’t ready to let go of him. What options did he have left though?

 

„Bae…“

„Yeah?“

„I think I might really really like him.“

 

Youngbae, for the second time this evening, seemed to be surprised.

 

„If you like him that much, then don’t give up. Ji, you are my best friend and you mean the world to me, so I’m going to be honest with you. You’ve been putting up with so much you seriously deserve to find the one that can finally make you happy. That’s why I’d suggest you to try it. At least if someone sees the two of you having a date you can say that you are just friends. That’s the good thing about our country, the press is not allowed to report about same- couples.“

„But it’s still dangerous…“

„If you think like this you will never become happy. What is your heart telling you? Do you want Seungri to date someone else?“

„No!“

„Then, can you imagine a future without him?“

„I…“

„Can you imagine a future with him?“

„I- yes.“

„I think that solves you problem.“ The singer leaned back satisfied and swirled the content of his wine glass.

 

„How does that solve anything?“

„You told me the whole Seungri issue is not as easy as we think, but the thing is, society’s pressure is making it hard for you, nothing else. So if you decide to ignore that it is indeed easy.“

„Yeah, except the problem doesn’t go away by ignoring it.“

„Does it? Who said you couldn’t try and figure it out when the time comes? Or do you really want to throw that special opportunity away?“

 

No, he didn’t.

 

 

 

~

 

 

 

„Hmpf…“

 

 

„Ugh…“

 

 

„I’m so ing bored!“ Jiyong groaned in irritation while rolling off the sofa onto the fluffy carpet of his living room. He had been so tired the previous day that he went to sleep before midnight but that also meant he involuntarily woke up fairly early, way too early for his liking. But to his dismay he felt too restless to fall asleep or stay in bed, so in the end he got up and now he had nothing to do. He was supposed to be at the studio around 1 pm but it wasn’t even 11 yet and to his utter annoyance Seungri had to work until 2 and even though Jiyong was free the evening, Seungri wasn’t. He couldn’t even write with him because the younger was busy taking care of a group of children. 

Well, at least it was Friday already and he would be able see him the next day.

Or that’s what he was supposed to think, which wasn’t that easy because he was literally dying to see that damn idiot, it has been three days and he felt like he was falling apart without him. Jiyong would question his bizarre thoughts but he was used to it by now, Seungri must’ve rubbed off on him somewhen somehow.

 

„What do I do with my life now…?“ What did he even do before he met Seungri? That’s right, he worked. He worked and worked and worked. Perhaps he should go to the studio already, he could finish another project maybe or start without Teddy.

 

„But Seungri said I shouldn’t work so much. I am supposed to enjoy myself, he already wasn’t happy about me working today.“

 

Enjoying himself, huh? What did he enjoy? Hobbies?

Jiyong sat on the floor and rubbed his imaginary beard while he thought about possible interests other than writing and producing music. 

He did love fashion but was that also part of his job? Was designing and buying clothes also work? Maybe it was something in between, he needed something else, something new. He would love to be able to cook but he didn’t want to burn down his beautiful apartment, he tried it once and, damn, it was a close call.

What else was there he could try? Cleaning his house? But that wasn’t fun and it was tidy anyways, his personal cleaner or his mother came by regularly and Jiyong himself knew the basics at least, he hated dirt. 

Painting? he didn’t really own the equipment for that.

Sports? Who was he kidding.

Gaming? That actually didn’t sound that bad, he still had his PS3 and a few games he mostly bought for Youngbae and Xin, when they came over, so why not play on his own.

 

He crawled towards his giant tv and his PS3 while he looked at the games he owned. Skyrim, Assassins Creed 3, Final Fantasy X, GTA, Diablo 3… He didn’t know much about them but when he watched his best friend play he enjoyed Skyrim and Assassins Creed a lot, so after thinking for a few seconds the idol shrugged and chose the second one.

 

With a controller in his hand he went back to his couch and started the game, maybe it could lift his mind off everything for a bit.

 

 

 

„Oh, you INGGG-“ Jiyong yelled and bit his lip in concentration as he attempted to slaughter his enemy.

„Yes! ! Don’t fight me !“

 

He was so immersed in the game, nothing could disturb him, not even the ringing phone that the blonde had discarded somewhere in the room. Only when his house telephone went off did Jiyong notice someone seriously tried to reach him because no one ever called him on his house telephone ever. No one.

 

He pressed pause and got up, sensing how hungry he was, when he grabbed the phone which was located in the hallway.

 

„Hello?“

„Hello?! Hello my you , why the aren’t you here yet and why don’t you answer your phone?! “

„Huh?“

„It’s half past one, you are never late!“

„Oh… What the ! It’s half past one?!“

 

He looked over at the designer clock hanging on the wall and, yes, it was indeed late.

 

„I’m sorry Bae, I’ll be there in a few! I was distracted and forgot the time.“

„Teddy has been freaking out, we thought something might have happened to you.“

„But it was only half an hour.“

„Yeah, but if it’s about work you are never late, in fact you are always early and-“

„Okay, okay, I get it, I’m on my way.“

 

Jiyong didn’t wait for a reply, he ran to back into his living room and ended the game before he quickly got ready to leave his apartment. He rushed to his car faster than he knew he was even capable of and it seriously impressed him. At least he now knew why so many people lost control over their lives when they became obsessed with gaming, if they all had such a strong reaction to it as he did, they missed out on half of their lives, or so Jiyong thought after what he just experienced. 

He was probably over reacting.

 

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