A/N: today has been a ROLLERCOASTER of mimo feels with this last HTS episode.....clearly i'm a little pissed about how things turned out so I channeled it into this. my heart is breaking for momo because i can only imagine how hard that was for her. (and mina as well bc the poor bab was so nervous about not being able to help momo)

**un-beta'd as and you can definitely tell where i started losing steam.

It wasn’t enough.

Momo scoffed bitterly. Of course it wasn’t enough. It didn’t matter that they had taken a giant risk, portraying the darker side of love that no one seems to want to acknowledge let alone between two women. It didn’t matter they had poured their heart and soul into the performance. It didn’t matter that Momo had essentially killed herself trying to learning ballet, tearing up her feet in the process.

None of it mattered because apparently all the voters care about is cute and y. Of course the other stages were good, she’s surrounded by extremely talented people but her stage was just as good as theirs, if not better. What was she even thinking, coming on another survival show? Sixteen was difficult enough and she was only competing against other trainees then. Now she’s competing against highly experienced sunbaes, desperately attempting to hold her own and apparently failing. Was she that much of a masochist?

She knew Mina was probably beating herself up. It was obvious how nervous the younger girl was, her voice pitched higher than normal as she talked about not knowing whether she’d be of any help to Momo. In her opinion, Mina did even better than her; she chose her for a good reason after all. Momo closed her eyes tightly and ran through the performance again, heart contracting as she recalled the terrified look on Mina’s face as she back her into the cage and started winding the string around. The emotions that Momo was able to glimpse on her face were absolutely raw and completely vulnerable.

Momo knew herself the moment her choreographer had told her what he had in mind that she wanted Mina. Besides ballet being Mina’s forte, the chemistry between the two was undeniable. It's just that she was unsure what Mina would think or if she’d even be willing to do it.

When she approached the other girl one day while they had been at one of their countless photo shoots, her stomach turned into a bundle of nerves. She hopped up on one arm of the couch before getting the other girl’s attention by tapping her on the head.

“Mina, do you have a sec?”

Mina looked up from her phone and smiled brightly. “For you? Always.”

Momo thought her heart would burst right then and she tried her best to keep her voice casual. “So you know how for the next episode I need a partner? Well, I, uh, wanted to ask you if you would do it with me.”

An eyebrow was raised at her as her choice of phrasing sunk in.

“Dance I mean! I wanted to know if you would dance with me.”

The younger girl furrowed her brow and pointed at herself incredulously. “You want me?”

“Yeah?”

“I thought your concept was This Love. Shouldn’t you be asking a guy?”

Momo took a deep breath. “Here’s the thing. Blayzer had an idea. It’s practically expected that I would choose a guy for my partner but he suggested I choose a female instead. And instead of going with a light, romantic hip-hop concept, it would be ballet and much darker. ‘Obsessive Love’ is what he called it. You were the first person I thought of. When it’s ballet, it’s Black Swan Mina.” She said lightly and shrugged, hoping it would gloss over the implication of Mina being the person Momo thought of when it came to obsessive love.

Mina was quiet for a few moments and then straightened up on the couch as she looked curiously at Momo.“Because it’s ballet, you thought of me.”

“Yeah but because I also trust you more.” Momo said without even thinking. Realizing what she said, she scrambled to explain. “Not that I don’t trust the other members! I do but…I feel like we make a good team. I know you’re more than capable. Blayzer agrees.” Momo felt her cheeks heat up as she finished by mumbling, “It’s just more…more comfortable with you.”

Mina kept her gaze steady on Momo before breaking eye contact and turning her head away sheepishly but not quick enough that Momo missed the small, shy smile that began to blossom across face though. “That…really means a lot, Momo.” she said softly. She turned her head back and the small smile had now grown into her trademark gummy smile, a smile that made Momo weak at the knees.

Mina scooted over closer to the arm where Momo was perched to pull her down onto the couch before snuggling into the other girl. “I’m more comfortable with you too.” she murmured as she traced the pattern of Momo’s pants. She peered back up at Momo, still smiling. “I’d love to.”

Momo couldn’t have stopped the wide grin that broke out across her face if she tried as she felt an enormous weight lift off her shoulders. “Thank you.” She whispered and laid her head on top on the other girl’s, both quietly watching as their hands intertwined with each other until their bubble was broken by Dahyun bounding in and announcing it was Momo’s turn.

She fluffed out her bangs as she stifled a sigh. She hadn’t bothered cleaning up. Black face paint was still smeared across her cheeks, messy tendrils of wavy blonde hair framed her face as she stared at the wall, knees huddled up to her chest.

She was pulled out of her spiral by the sound of her dressing room door opening and then clicking shut. All the breath went out of her as she felt a pair of strong arms wrap around her and instinctively leaned back against Mina. Heavy silence permeated the air around them before Momo gathered herself enough to turn around and face the brunette. She studied Mina’s face for a moment; eyebrows knit together, downcast expression, and apologetic eyes. “I know what you’re thinking. And it isn’t your fault.”

She reached out and gently ran her thumb across Mina’s forehead to smooth the wrinkles from her furrowed brows, fingers tracing a light path down to her cheek to cup it, unbelieving eyes staring back at her. “It isn’t.” Momo insists.

Mina sighed, the ghost of her breath washing over Momo’s palm and reached up to cover the blonde’s hand with her own. “If you had had someone else with you…”

“No,” she says firmly. “I wanted you. I never had anyone else in my mind because I knew you would be amazing at this and you were. This isn’t a reflection on you at all.”

Mina reached for Momo's hand and brought them down to her lap, playing with Momo’s fingers, eyes focused downward as she said, “It’s not a reflection on you either, you know.”

Momo snorted. “Of course it is. I’m the competitor…I can’t….I don’t measure up. The voters clearly don’t think so and neither do the judges.” She stared at their joined hands and tried to keep her voice even. “I shouldn’t have agreed to do this show. It was a waste of everyone’s time. I even scored lower than I did last time. God, I should have done more….”

Raising her head back up, Mina gripped Momo’s hand emphatically. “What more could you have done, Momo? You gave it your all. You can’t do more than that.”

Momo pulled her hand out of Mina’s in frustration, and began pacing around the room, her erratic movement, matching the pacing of her words. “I’m not good enough, Mina! I was eliminated four episodes in on Sixteen and the only reason I was even brought back was because JYP felt sorry towards me. It’s only a matter of time before I get eliminated here. And then what I am gonna do? Being a dancer is literally all I have. I can’t sing. I can’t do variety. And if I can’t dance, then who even am I?!”

She slammed her fist against the door, causing Mina to jump. Blinking her tears away (when had she even started crying?), she looked up to see the brunette staring at her with the same frightened expression she had seen during the performance. Realizing what she had done, Momo backed away unsteadily from Mina, only stopping once her back connected with the door and slid down to the floor, still looking at her in horror before covering her face with her hands.

“Mina…, Mina….oh god…I’m sorry…I’m so sorry I didn’t mean to scare you like that…I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry…” the blonde continued her mantra, muttering into her hands and rocking back and forth.

It wasn’t until tender hands brought her face back upright and soft thumbs swept underneath her eyes that she managed to bring her focus back until she found Mina kneeling in front of her, her face inches away from Momo.

“Shh, shh, it’s okay. It’s okay, Momo, it’s okay. I’m not scared, I just was startled.”

All she could do was watch, eyes wide, as Mina leaned forward to press a kiss to her forehead before gathering her up in her arms. The blonde slumped against Mina, her head on the other girl’s chest, and heart racing as she spoke with a stern, low voice.

“I will not be scared off that easily, Hirai Momo. Don’t even bother trying. Now listen to me. You are good at what you do. You wouldn’t have been asked to be on the show otherwise. Judging from last time and this, it’s clear the audience doesn’t know a thing about dancing and are only here to support “their oppas”.”

Mina nudged Momo up so they were mirroring each other, both on their knees. Mina took both of Momo’s hands, her grip tight and gaze steady. "You are incredible, you hear me? You are strong. You’ve been through so much already; you carry so much on your shoulders but you’re always the first to give encouragement and support when one of us needs it. You are cared for. You heard the screams when you introduced yourself at KCON. So many people love you. The fans, the members,-“ she hesitated before finishing. “And me.”

Mina took a deep breath after she finished speaking, praying that she had somehow gotten through to the older girl. Moments passed as Momo just stared at her and she was just starting to regret her words before Momo was surging forward, bridging the distance between them to capture Mina’s lips into a kiss that had the brunette thanking god she was sitting down because she was sure her legs would have given out from the way her body seems to light on fire at Momo’s touch.

It seemed like an eternity but was only a few seconds before they separated. Momo broke the silence.

“I believe you.” Deep, deep down she knows Mina is right about everything; Mina always is.

She clears . “Could I-? I mean, would you mind if we, um, did that…again? I’m sorry it wasn’t more romantic but god I’ve wanted to do that for a long time now and it seemed like you were also into- mmph!”

Mina swiftly shuts her up with a single kiss. She wraps her arms around Momo’s neck and after she breaks the kiss, buries her face in the blonde's neck, overcome with shyness.

This turn of events leaves Momo feeling like she has whiplash. Never, ever did she expect this to happen here and now of all times. Staring down at the girl in her arms, she finally comes to a conclusion.

“ MNET. those voters. this show. You know why? Because Mina loves me and that is the only thing that matters.”