Ssangmundong’s high school 2005

Sung Bin’s POV

“Why you want to sit next to him? I ask curiously.

“Just because..” Yoojung hesitated. “He also just moved here, we been friend since kindergarten. It take me forever to persuade my parents to move here. I just want to be next to him like this.” 

“WOW.”  Me and Suhyun say in union.

“Let be friend then since I’m new here.” Yoojung reach out her hand.

Me and Suhyun start to nod. “ let’s introduced then.”

After we introduced each other, we head out to the cafeteria. I turn around and ask Sehun. “Banana milk and bread?”

“Thank you.” He answer.

As we rush to the cafeteria, everything is a mess, people are are crazy to get their food.

“Yah we not gonna make it.” Yoojung say.

“Well, but I’m hungry.” I say.

“Me too.” They say it together.

“Why you all standing here?” A voice come from behind.

“Jongki oppa.” I say

“It too crowded, isn't it?” Jongki continues. “Oh new kid?”

“Yes, my name is Yoojung.” Yoojung introduced herself.

“Good, good. Watch me.” Jongki say then walk in front. “ I’m hungry.”

It like magical the crow start to divide in to separate line and look at Jongki oppa.

“I don’t think this is right, I can’t just get in line like this.”Jongki smile sweetly to the crow of student, whom surprisingly are all girl.

“Yes, you can” They all say in union.

Me, Yoojung, and Suhyun look at each other then look at Jongki. He gives us the signal to go and get our food.

As we sit down for our lunch, Jongki also sit down and say. “ How about me, Bin ah?”

“Eat this.” I give him half of my bread. He smile and take it.

“Who is that?” The girl from the next table ask which make us turn around.

A tall boy walk down the hall and slowly come to our table. He push me a bit so he could sit down.

“Yah that my sit.” I say

“You still sit in the same sit.” Sehun say and take a bite of the bread that I was holding.

“That mine too.” I tell him

“I know now give me my food, I’m hungry.” Sehun say.

“You crazy .” I say and smack him the head.

“Yah, grow up both of you.”Jongki continues. “ Also, Sehun ah, dad is home today, come home early.”

“Yes hyung.” Sehun answer then glare at me.

Sehun’father is a very cool ajushi, he is a soldier and I used to tell everybody that later on as I grow up, I will marry a guy wearing uniform.

“Beakhyun ah.” Yoojung scream as she saw her friend.

“Sit here.” Yoojung continues.

He quietly sit down and say hi to us. Yoojung give him her food, ask him if he had read the book yet or if he could help her with the math problem. He just answer them shortly them comeback to his book, Yoojung just quietly eat her food and looking at him.

I have ask myself a lot of time as I saw how Yoojung look at Beakhyun, did I look at him the same way? Do I smile at him sincerely like that? Or if my feeling was like that too toward him?

Ssangmundong 2016-9:30 AM

“Where are we going?” I ask.

“Okay so the schedule is to try the wedding dress today, then trying the food tomorrow, then photoshoot.” Suhyun say.

“Okay, It just three of us, how about the guy.” Yoojung ask

“There they are, we need to fine the tux for him too.” Suhyun pointing toward the guy. “ This going to tough since my dear husband only like black color, and I don't want his tuxedo to be all black.”

From far away, I see four guys walk together exactly like the old day and from the corner of my eyes I saw him, the one that always appear in my dream, that I could never forget.

“Stop staring.” Suhyun said.

“I am not staring, what are you talking about?” I answer her.

“It kind of obvious that you looking at him.” Yoojung answer without Suhyun saying.

“Whatever.” I say.

Suhyun just smirk.

The drive was longer than it should be and it kind of awkward for me since I have to sit between the Oh’s brother. I just want to curse myself right now.

“Do you guy want coffee?” Suhyun ask

“Yes please.” Yoojung say in happiness.

“No, just orange juice for her.” Yoojung’s husband say.

Yoojung glare at him then just angrily cursing.

“Stop cursing.” Her husband continues saying.

It just funny how two of them can just arguing from day to day but still love each other so much. Only Yoojung can control her husband and only her husband can control Yoojung.

“How about you two?” Sung Joon ask.

“No thank.” We say in union.

I quietly look over to Sehun, he still have the same habit, he hates to drink coffee in the morning.

“Okay then, you two stay in the car while we go buy some drink” Sung Joon say.

Aigoo, I should have just say yes to the coffee so I don't have to be here with him and be awkward like this.

“Do you have a boyfriend yet?” Sehun ask

“WHAT?” I say in surprise.

“No.” I answer.

“Do you interest in someone?” He continues.

“No.” I answer and continues. “ But why?”

“Well, just asking cause I know you will stay single for a while.” Sehun say and then smirk.

“Ya, you’re such an .” I say.

“Just stating the true.” He smile and say.

Then we become quite again, should I ask him too? Ask him how have he been all these year? If he remember Ssangmundong like I do or if he still missing our high school time.

Everybody comeback with the drink in their hand and get in the seat.

“Here you go.” Jongki say while offering me the orange juice.

“What is this?” I ask.

“For car sick.” Jongki say and continues. “You alway have car sick and this help remember.”

I smile and say thank to Jongki oppa.

“He always nice to you.” Suhyun say.

The car drop into silent again after Suhyun say that.

“You really know how to kill the mood.” Kyungsoo say.

“Yeah I know.” Sungjoon say.

Jongki just smile and look outside the window, I found myself do the same but then something catch my eyes, Sehun just quietly look at Jongki, his brother, then turn away without looking at me.

There is some thing we called regret, and for me, “him” is my regret, because whenever i look at “him” I always think that I should have been a little braver or stronger and tried to stand next to him. The person that warm up my youth, and the one that I always give my feeling to.

Seoul’ s University 2011

Sung Bin’s POV

“Hello, I need to find a student here.” I say while catching my breath.

“ You okay, sweetheart?” The lady ask.

“ I’m fine, thank you.” I say and smile to her.

“Last name please.” She ask.

“Oh.” I say.

“You brother?” She ask.

“He is my…” I hesitated. “ He is the person that I like.”

When I come to realize how much I like him, it already late because right now in front of him, i’m just a loser. Next to him will be someone that much better and belong to his world, while I just an outsider. All those years when we were together, he used all his greatest feeling to love me and stay by my side, but no, I was not the greatest yet to accept his love. 

At the age of 20, I once again let him go and bury his image deeply inside of my heart. Because now as we grow up, two person keep growing apart, all I can do right now is remember about him the person that I spent my youth to love.