For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul.

Judy Garland

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Hyunwoo took a glance at Hoseok who was calling someone. He talked with sweet tone and invited a smile in Hyunwoo’s lips. He knew it was Minhyuk who was talking on the other side, sometimes creating a deep blush to Hoseok’s cheeks and sometimes tickled him to laugh. Hyunwoo had never wanted anything else than seeing them together. He was the one who knew the dark past and all the hardships they had been through, how fragile they were during their worst moments and how dependable they were towards each other all this time. Hyunwoo always knew what Minhyuk felt for Hoseok who just realized it after Hyunwoo and Kihyun decided to engage. But Hoseok was too reserved and kept it inside. He didn’t want to jeopardize the bond they had shared.

Until the incident that happened to Kihyun ...

Hyunwoo could feel his jaw started to get tense so he took a deep breath and averted his thought to his own tux. Skillfully he wore the satin commerbund above his white shirt. His well-built body was flaunted with the commerbund, giving him a slimmer look on the waist. Then putting on the black bow tie and he was almost ready.

Through the reflection of the mirror, he could see Hoseok sauntered to his way with a smile. He looked dapper with gray suit and black shirt underneath. He didn’t wear tie but purposely ed the upper part, giving him a classy bad-boy look. Hoseok looked back at him with a whistle.

“Look at you. So handsome.” He commented, slapping Hyunwoo’s contentedly.

Hyunwoo just chuckled and kept buttoning the sleeves, “Minhyuk?”

Hoseok looked flustered a bit but quickly regained his sense. “Yeah”

“Where is he? I thought you both will be here,” asked Hyunwoo in casual tone.

Hoseok sighed. “You knew it all along.”

“I knew it all along.” repeated Hyunwoo, locked his eyes with Hoseok through the mirror and started to laugh. He turned his body and tackled his best friend to the bed, giving him a headlock, with one leg secured Hoseok’s legs. “So, my secretive friend, when actually did you plan to break the news for me?”

Hoseok coughed and laughed. He tried to wriggle out from Hyunwoo but he couldn’t so he just let himself being locked that way. “I was about to. It’s just—not the right time.”

“And your right time is? When?”

“Let me go first. I—dammit Hyunwoo, I can’t breathe!” Hyunwoo finally let go his hands of Hoseok and leaned towards him, “ I—we plan to tell you and Kihyun after ... Kihyun is fully recovered ...”

There’s s silence before Hyunwoo nodded.

“But you know it so—“ Hoseok didn’t finish his sentence but looking dead straight to Hyunwoo’s eyes.

“Yeah. I get it. I’m just, Hoseok. I’m happy for you both, you know.” Hyunwoo spoke with a big grin spread on his face. His eyes sparked with every word he said.

“Thank you. It means a lot to me.” said Hoseok, feeling awkward. They didn’t usually speak about something like this, especially about Minhyuk. The friendship they had that was thicker than blood was something they valued the most so the thought of dating each other never existed from the beginning.

But things changed.

“Don’t say that. There’s nothing on this earth that I want to achieve rather than seeing Kihyun or you and Minhyuk being happy. Either with each other or not.” said Hyunwoo, a smile still lingered on his plump lips. He slowly got up from his position and patted Hoseok’s legs, “Cheer up now. We’ve got some wedding to attend.”

Hoseok chuckled. He followed Hyunwoo who had taken the tux and wore it. He helped Hyunwoo wearing the tux and smoothened the surface, putting both of his hands on Hyunwoo’s shoulders, he looked into Hyunwoo’s orbs, “ Thank you, Hyunwoo. For everything. I—ah I have never said it before but ... I’m glad you found Kihyun. You will be the happiest man on earth and I know, for sure, you will also be the man who will make him the happiest man on earth.”

Hoseok smiled, the sincerity in his eyes and his voice touched Hyunwoo’s heart. He was stunned for awhile but Hoseok added his words and made Hyunwoo drop some tears before his wedding.

“ Thank you for saving me and Minhyuk. Thank you for touching our lives. You are an angel, our hyung, our mentor.”

“I know how selfish I can be,wishing that I can tie you and be like this forever but I realize that there is someone who can repay all the good deeds you’ve done for us. Another angel that was sent to touch your life, to help you and to love you unconditionally. And in just two hours, you’ll be marrying that angel.”

“Congratulation my brother. I wish you the happiest life because you deserve it...”

◊◊◊◊◊◊◊◊

Kihyun woke up with big sweats all over his temple. His bathrobe felt so damp. He groaned and looked at to his side and saw Minhyuk was not there.

Kihyun was panic. Screaming internally, he glanced to his phone. Nothing.

His heart beat so fast. He was going to cry in any minute now. All the preparation and things planned from the beginning was going to end like this? He wiped his tears that were falling.

If only he listened to what his father said.

He wouldn't have to stand here, waiting for miracle to save his wedding.

But he knew it was useless to wait. He needed to move on.

Kihyun, clenched his fists, staring at his reflection on the glass window. Wiping his tears, he said to himself, "It's over ..."

He had a bad dream. He was on the way to the wedding place, by himself (apparently from the sauna), and got stuck in traffic. He recalled how panic he was in the dream, trying to call anyone but no one answered and when he arrived, no body was there. The wedding place looked abandoned with no sign of Hyunwoo. He cried while shouting to his name and suddenly he saw his father, just standing there with clear disappointment in his face, pointing his finger to him before jumping to the sea from that ship. All the anger and disappointment from his father were transferred to him, made him sad and the last thing he remembered, he was looking through a reflection of himself, crying and said that it was over ...

Kihyun closed his eyes, shut them tightly, chest heaved up and down, trying to subside the panic attack that suddenly crept through his mind.

What if all this a premonition? That his wedding was doomed ... that he wasn’t supposed to marry Hyunwoo ...

He got up, staggering as the blood rushed back to his head, his squatted to reduce the sudden headache. He didn’t believe in superstition or any of that, he put no attention in zodiac signs. Then why his heart beat so loud now?

“Minhyukkie?” he called while standing up, gathering his strength and rational mind. He staggered to the door and opened it to find Minhyuk stood there holding two bottles of cola.

“Drink?” he extended one of the bottle to Kihyun but the latter just shook his head. “Minhyukkie, how long have I been sleeping?”

“Eh?” Minhyuk shrugged his shoulders. Looking at Kihyun’s slightly panic eyes, he furrowed his brows. “Are you alright?”

“I am. Just a bit dizzy. Minhyukkie, let’s just go. I need to go somewhere.” Kihyun grabbed Minhyuk’s hand then half-dragged him to the lobby.

“Why? Why? Yah! Kihyunnie, slow down. What happened?” Minhyuk tried to talk between Kihyun’s urgent steps and his two bottles of cola which he managed to put them in one of the table that they passed through.

Kihyun looked deaf that moment, ignoring Minhyuk’s words and kept his eyes to the front. Minhyuk paid attention how tense he was, the small trembles in his hands that gripped Minhyuk. He stopped asking and waited for Kihyun to calm down.

After taking care of the fee and changed their clothes, Kihyun got off the car but stopped by Minhyuk. “Let me drive. You seem to have things in your mind. It’s not safe.”

Kihyun didn’t say anything but nodded slowly.

◊◊◊◊◊◊◊◊

Minhyuk drove carefully while once in awhile watching over his friend’s expression from the mirror. Kihyun looked so tired. His sparkling eyes now were dim by something that was bothering him. Even from the way he breathed, Minhyuk knew something was up.

“So, do you want to tell me what happened?”

There’s a solemn silent before Kihyun opened up his mouth to speak up his mind. “Hyukkie, what if—ah how do I utter this without being weirdo—what if this wedding, should not happen in the first place?”

By the shocking look in Minhyuk’s face, Kihyun abruptly chimed, “No—no-see? It sounds weird—I, ah ..” there’s a huff of defeat coming from Kihyun, his shoulders slumped down and he pressed himself to the seat, looking out to the window.

Carefully, Minhyuk inquired using his gentle tone to assure Kihyun that he could talk anything he wanted, “As much as I want to agree with that statement, I would like to know about what makes you think that way.”

Kihyun shot him unsure look but then his face softened. He let out a deep sigh. “You know my father. Until now, just one hour away from my own wedding, doesn’t want to meet me. He never calls me to ask about me. I feel like I’ve been ... totally ignored ... he must be really ... disappointed with me ...”

A small sigh came out of Minhyuk’s mouth. He wanted to say anything to lessen the burden of his friend but his words got caught in is throat. So instead of talking, he decided to keep his mouth shut and listened.

“I know that I am hoping too much on his blessing to this wedding. To my relationship with Hyunwoo hyung.”

“I have almost to the point of giving up and decided that I need to bury that hope because I know he will never bless me with Hyunwoo hyung.”

“But I—“ Kihyun abruptly stopped his words when he felt that his eyes started to trickle down again. He lowered his head and sniffled. “—but I am still his child ... his flesh and blood. No matter how much I try to deny this, I still want him to bless this wedding. I still have that hope that he, someday, will see me, right in my eyes and say that he forgives me and that he blesses me for this marriage I am going to have with Hyunwoo hyung.”

Kihyun sobbed in both of his palms that he used to cover his face. His heart ached by his own words and felt the despair of his own fate. Because no matter how strict his father was or how he raised Kihyun with less love, he still put his utmost respect to his father, the old man that taught him a lot during his childhood better than a book and the one who worked overnight for years to fulfill his family’s needs without even any complaint. Kihyun’s needs.

That was not something that could be forgotten easily.

Minhyuk didn’t know what to offer to help his close friend but he leaned and put his arms around Kihyun. He did what he thought the best thing he could do to at least  consoling the younger.

“Have you tried to talk about this again with your father?” asked Minhyuk after awhile, when he felt that the sobbing had died down.

Kihyun shook his head, straightened his position and leaned to the car seat. “I told you that I have almost given up about him. I feel like I have tried enough.”

“You said it yourself. You’ve almost given up. It means you haven’t right? Tell him about you and Hyunwoo hyung. Tell him how much you want his blessing because you are his son and your happiness will be completed knowing that he gives this wedding a blessing. Tell him everything you want to say rather than feeling sorry later. It’s a risk that both you and Hyunwoo hyung must go through ...”

For a moment, Kihyun didn’t say anything but playing the hem of his shirt in uneasiness. “Do you think I should do that?” asked Kihyun unsure.

“Do you think you should do that?” asked Minhyuk back.

A moment of hesitation before Kihyun gently nodded his head. “I should do this. I can’t go to my wedding before he hears everything I need to say. I need to see him Minhyuk!”

“Of course!” Minhyuk nodded too enthusiastically, giving a full reassuring eyes to the younger.

“I need to see my father now.” Said Kihyun abruptly.

“I will get you there. So what hotel does your father stay in Busan?” asked Minhyuk, started the car engine.

Kihyun let out a thin smile. “ He’s in Yangsan actually. He doesn’t really want to attend my wedding so he only dropped my mom off and stays in our relative there so he can pick my mother up after my wedding celebration is over.”

“Eh.” Minhyuk glanced to his watch. “You wedding is going to start in 1 hour ...”

“I know! But I need to see him now.”

Minhyuk bit the inside of his cheeks. “Kihyunnie, you even haven’t got your make up and ...”

“I know!” Kihyun snapped out of frustration but seeing Minhyuk’s shocked face, he quickly apologized. “I know that. I’m sorry. Really, I didn’t mean to snap at you. I just—Minhyukkie,what should I do??”

Minhyuk took a deep breath. His friend got a wedding to do in less than 1 hour and he needed to get to the port in time to do make up and deliver him safely to his future-husband who would wait in eager to see his groom but he understood how important for Kihyun to see his father before he said ‘I do’.

Minhyuk could feel his veins on his head started to throb.

“Alright. I—I’ll take you to Yangsan and hopefully we can be there in 30 minutes and Kihyunnie, you’re going to be late to your wedding you know? I don’t think you will be talking only for 5 minutes with your father.”

“I hope it’s more than 5 minutes ...” said Kihyun softly.

“Come on. Be positive. We don’t have much time. You still have one spectacular wedding to attend.” Minyhuk patted Kihyun’s arm to encourage him. “You better tell Hyunwoo hyung that you’re going to see your father.”

Kihyun nodded and soon their car disappeared in sight.

◊◊◊◊◊◊◊◊

Hyunwoo got the call from Kihyun 30 minutes before the wedding ceremony began. Almost shouting to him but refrained himself from doing it when he heard the small sobs coming from Kihyun who was explaining his reason. He sighed in defeat. His fiance might be impulsive sometimes but that’s part of his charm that Hyunwoo was attracted to. The way he would immediately jump into the rain when everyone was waiting in the bus shelter, how he asked Hyunwoo to dance in the night on the rooftop. Small things that made his stomach fluttered in adoration and his overflown sense of protectiveness to keep the gentle soul of the impulsive Kihyun safe at all cost.

So Hyunwoo informed Taemin who widened his eyes in disbelief and mouth agape to wait for Kihyun and him.

“Hyung? Are you—dear lord, this is the first time I had a ‘runaway’ groom. No, count it two grooms. Great.”

“Taemin-ah, I’m sorry but I also need to go to him. Please, do anything you can to make the guests stay. Can you?” begged Hyunwoo with urgency in each of his word.

Taemin nodded. “I know. I just—go . Go get your princess back, hyung. I’ll do whatever it takes to keep the guests stay and happy.”

Hyunwoo stared in gratitude and Taemin just laughed. “Just go hyung. Yes, you’re welcome. Just get him back here.”

“I will.”

Taemin watched in amazement of Hyunwoo who was in hurry, bringing along Kihyun’s mother and Hoseok. There were times that he thought he could be happy forever with Hyunwoo if he kept in contact with him after they met in Japan, after all the romance and blooming peach blossom, they were compatible too. And Taemin knew that Hyunwoo’s feeling was in love with him at that time.

But Taemin just couldn’t settle with one, he previously thought of, boring life as lovers. The idea seemed to ... dull compared to all his adventures.

Though he admitted that sometimes he needed reassurance and constant care from someone special in his life rather than one-night-stands or two-months relationships. The idea had been forgotten and trampled when he chose his life.

Now it resurrected seeing how happy Hyunwoo was with Kihyun, how devoted he was. It’s normal for even someone like Taemin, craved for that ‘dull-relationship’ to happen in his life.

For once.

Taemin took a deep breath and was about to move to inform the crews when he bumped with someone.

“Ouch.” The hard steel chest that bumped to him make Taemin winced. His papers were scattered on the wooden floor of the ship. He was about to snap when the man in front of him spoke, “I am really sorry. Let me help you.”

The deep husky voice with accent successfully made Taemin shivered. He lifted up his gaze to the man who was a pleasing in his eyes. A burly medium-height man with tanned skin was smiling and helping him to collect his papers and gave them in apologetic manner. “I am a photographer of Hyunwoo and Kihyun’s wedding. I tend to get lost in beauty and this ship is—“

“—beautiful.” Taemin blurted out and blushed after realizing his ‘not-so-subtle’ word. 

Kitten. The man smiled and changed his manner right away. “I’m Jota. And you—“

“Taemin.” Unabashedly, Taemin extended his hand and shook in such way that made both of them gasped. The electric feel crept from both hands that shook hands to each other to their entire bodies.

“You’re right. I tend to get lost in beautiful thing—” Jota’s words were trailed off while he was scanning the perfect beauty in front of him, “—like you.”

Taemin screamed out of joy internally. The pink tint spread across his face. He never got flustered of this blunt flirt because he was also a flirt but this man who spread his manly aura, his playful and naughty vibe who was staring at him in that familiar look, said one sentence and Taemin instantly got drawn in thoughts of jumping into the man’s lap and feasting on him.

“Well,” with flushed face, Taemin cleared his throat that seemed to dry in an instant, “—why don’t I show you .. more beautiful things here?”

Jota smiled widely and with both hands helping Taemin to stand. “Sure. I’d love it. Please excuse my ... eagerness if I happen to touch some?”

Taemin smirked and playfully remarked, “Not that I can stop that urge though.”

Both of them threw meaningful smiles to each other before finally walking around and talking.

◊◊◊◊◊◊◊◊

Minhyuk and Kihyun arrived in front of a big house without any fence or gate. The house itself is surrounded by a vast of creamy sand, two miles away from secluded beach. The waves were lapping onto each other before reaching the rocks that were scattered through out the sandbank.

Kihyun opened the door of the car with eyes transfixed to the panorama in front of him, the flash of old summer times replaying in his mind. He reveled in the nostalgia when he and his parents used to spend time here, in his uncle’s house. They were happy, he was sure of that. His child mind didn’t recall any bad memories he carried from his childhood to his present life. The only thing he remembered that he, here, made a promise to his father that someday when he found his half, he would make ‘her’ happy, he would make his parents happy. His father asked him if he had that purpose to make everyone happy, what about himself?

Little Kihyun said in all bravery and confidence, “If everyone is happy, so am I.”

Life had its way to let us prove our promises.

He didn’t know how long he was drifting into his memory when Minhyuk gently patted his back and asked, “ Ki. Are you alright?”

Kihyun turned almost immediately to the source of the sound, startled. He nodded, a bit shaky but looked firm. “Y-yeah. I suddenly remember when I was still a kid. I often came here with my parents, staying over and spending our holiday happily. This place ... has a special meaning in my heart...”

Mihyuk awkwardly tried to hold the younger’s hand to tell him that he was there, that he would be there with all his heart to support Kihyun.

But Minhyuk decided that Kihyun didn’t really need it because he could clearly see the determination that sparked, even from the side where Minhyuk clearly stared at.

“Is your father here?” asked Minhyuk, went back to their original plan before he let himself drowned in Kihyun’s nostalgia.

“I guess so. I—I will look for him. Please stay here. If my uncle comes, tell him that you’re waiting for me.”

Kihyun left as Minhyuk was still processing his sentences with a slight sigh after he saw the younger’s body got further away from his spot.

◊◊◊◊◊◊◊◊

It wasn’t long enough for Kihyun to find his father, exactly as he thought where he would be, sitting on the rocks with the dancing waves under his bare feet. A little bit wobbly, Kihyun came forward and biting his lips in nervousness. The sight of his father alone could make him feel like he was a toddler again; the silence that he worn since Kihyun looked into his eyes for the first time until now had never changed. The old man that he knew was little in words whom he loved and looked up to.

“Father,” Kihyun stopped in the middle, tried so hard to regulate his own articulation of saying that ‘word’ . The guilt, the shame, the defense were playing at same time, accusing him and making him doubtful of what he would say.

Just when Kihyun lifted his eyes to his father after a quick contemplation, his father had already given him the look. His eyes shimmered under the sun but they looked ... so old. Aging. Tired.

Kihyun gulped, trying to erase the accusation words that were ringing in his ears; that this look was given by his choice of life. “ Father ... I need to have a word with you.”

Kihyun’s father didn’t let out any word but slightly nodded. He motioned a space beside him. “Come and sit here.”

Kihyun walked slowly and took a seat next to his father. His eyes scanned his father from the side, knowing that he looked older since the last time he saw him in the hospital. His eye bags were obvious, probably from late night cigarettes and coffees. “How are you?”

Mr Yoo turned his head to the side, looking at those brownish eyes and fringe that almost covered his eyes. “Your hair is getting longer.” was all he managed to say.

Kihyun let out a small chuckle. He shook his head slightly; feeling amused of his father’s answer. “That’s –not a respond I’d like to hear but—uh yeah, it is. And yours is longer too. Not that long but just longer than usual ...” Kihyun sighed. It wasn’t a conversation he intended to have now.

“Yeah, it is.” Mr Yoo nodded then spoke nothing. He just stared at the horizon, reveling in the peaceful moment with the sounds of wave and rustling trees.

There was a silent moment between them, each was drowned in their own thought. Things they ought to utter, things that were matter but now they were swallowed by the void of their shared moment.

“Why are you here? Shouldn’t you be ... somewhere .. else?” asked Mr Yoo with a hesitation in each of the syllable. He didn’t even look at Kihyun when he uttered the question.

Kihyun hummed in response. “Hm. I should. And that’s exactly why I am here now instead of being in my own ... wedding with Hyunwoo hyung.” Kihyun carefully watched every twitch or movement on his father’s face when he mentioned about his wedding and Hyunwoo. But he didn’t find none. It was only a deep sigh his father made.

“Kihyun ...”

“Why? Why wouldn’t you relent, dad? Why wouldn’t you accept the fact I am ... gay? Why?” Kihyun blurted out every single question he had, the burden he felt since his father knew he was gay and in a relationship.

“Kihyun,” Mr Yoo was about to speak but he quickly closed his mouth when he saw the tears that were trickling down from his son’s eyes.

“Why father? Am I that low in your eyes?? Is being a gay a curse in your eyes?”

The image of 5-year old Kihyun who was bawling suddenly appeared, replacing Kihyun’s image in his vision. His heart was aching with every sobbing that his son made, bringing him back when his son was still a little boy who was crying out of simple things.

His hands were reaching out to the image of little Kihyun but he stopped in the middle. He didn’t even know why he was so stubborn, so hard in accepting the truth. He knew he was supposed to stop being a protective father because Kihyun was no longer the bawling 5-year old kid he once knew. He was indeed a grown up man who was going to get married today.

But somewhere, deep down inside his heart, Mr Yoo always kept the thought that he was still that little kid who needed his father to protect him from the danger of the world.

“Father, please answer me!” Kihyun snapped out of his frustration watching his father kept being silent after all.

“Stop. Just listen ...” Mr Yoo waved his hand, asking Kihyun to stop asking more questions. He took a deep breath and rubbed his tired face. “You’re not a curse or low in my eyes. You’re my son, my flesh and blood. It’s the ... life you’ve chosen ... have you—are you sure that this is what you want?”

“Am I sure of what I want? Father, today I’m going to marry the man I love. What proof do you want from me to understand that THIS is the life I have chosen?” Kihyun didn’t want to be harsh with his words but he just couldn’t stand to see the stubbornness of his own father who refused to see things that was obvious from the start.

“Son! I took care of you since you were born, I watched over you silently and disciplined you so that you would know which path of life you should’ve made! It’s all for your happiness because I don’t want you to choose the wrong path and regret it for the rest of your life! Why can’t you understand?!” Mr Yoo raised his voice out of frustration. He desperately was hoping that Kihyun understood why he acted the way he did now.

“And I am grateful for each day you took care of me well and raised me as your son, father. I am thankful for that. But I want you to see that now I am the one who will be responsible with my own life. Even if I chose the wrong one, it’s all on me. It’s not you anymore who will decide it for me ...”

For a moment, there was this silence. There’s nothing left but a sigh of deep frustration, anger, sadness and regret. Years of lack of communication were poured into one deep sigh over a conversation that has no end.

All the images and assumptions of the homoual life had haunted Mr Yoo deeply and he couldn’t get rid his anxiety of how this ‘marriage’ would solve his worries over his son’s life and happiness. He could feel the life he wanted for his son was shattered into pieces, a life he thought it would be the perfect one for his beloved child.

Because what kind of father who wouldn’t wish for his child’s welfare and happiness? Instead of seeing him crawling over his broken marriage and night life style with one-night stands and heavy liquors poisoned his precious child’s kidneys.

Mr Yoo lowered his head down, watching as the waves washed his feet over and over. He felt like being cleansed from all his sins and mistakes. “I just ... want you to be happy. I don’t know if this lifestyle you’ve chosen can give you a real happiness or it’s just a temporary desire.”

“Father I—“ Kihyun clenched the hem of his jacket with trembling hands, he could have broken down in tears now but he needed to let his father know his heart. “—I am happy. With all my heart being with Hyunwoo hyung, there’s nothing in this world I want the most. It’s him, father. He is the love of my life and it has nothing to do with this ‘lifestyle’ you have spoken of. I am gay and maybe in previous life I was straight or even biual, it doesn’t change what I feel for him. I love him with all my heart because he makes me happy, he makes me feel loved in every single way possible.”

Kihyun took a deep breath before he continued, “If loving someone genuinely, whether it’s same or opposite one, is wrong, I don’t know what’s right anymore, father.”

Mr Yoo lifted his face and stared at his son who was staring at him with those same eyes, full of determination when he said that he would make everyone happy, the little Kihyun he raised. The sting of pain was pierced into Mr Yoo’s heart when he recalled that expression. Kihyun was always a passionate kid he knew.

“I don’t have the courage to ask you to come, father. I know it’s hard for you to accept this marriage. I only want you to know that I love Hyunwoo hyung and I will make him the happiest man on earth because I know he will make me happy too. And if someday, of which I don’t dare to say, Hyunwoo hyung and I may have our separate ways, know that I will still be the one who will find my own happiness by my own decision and heart. Whether being with a man or a woman. But I will always put you and mom in the biggest part of my heart because I love you both. Don’t worry about me, father. I know how to live my life and even if I fall, I am, Yoo Kihyun, will always know how to stand again, proud and tall over my failures and mistakes.”

Mr Yoo’s heart exploded in guilt and part of it ... strangely in relief. Somehow the burden and questions he had slowly being lifted by Kihyun’s words. It didn’t make him approve his lifestyle right away but now he could see things differently. It’s time to let Kihyun decide his own fate, to trust him wholeheartedly to live his life even if it’s contrary to his own dream and belief.

Mr Yoo slowly extended his hand and reached out Kihyun’s head. Lovingly he caressed the head before patting his back. “Father ...” Kihyun’s voice cracked upon the gesture and he knew he couldn’t hold his tears anymore. He cried by the time his father held him in his arms, to the aged body of years and years of hardships and works, back to the embrace of his father.

Mr Yoo said nothing but his hands rubbed Kihyun’s back in soothing way while his own tears were b on his eyes. He wanted to say something so Kihyun would stop crying but he ended up sobbing before he had any chance to utter words.

His little Kihyun had grown up ...

◊◊◊◊◊◊◊◊

Hyunwoo was running when he saw Kihyun walked along the beach, shoulders slumped and his small frame looked smaller in his sight. He fastened his steps to the younger’s direction who seemed so engrossed in his own thoughts and not realizing Hyunwoo was there and running towards to him.

“Kihyunnie!” called Hyunwoo out of desperate, partly from missing him through out the wedding process where he could not see him in person for two days before today.

Kihyun lifted up his face and saw Hyunwoo who was running towards him and his eyes got blurred with water. He stood without moving any part of his body—it’s like he didn’t want to but he was stricken by the overwhelming emotion from hie earlier conversation, standing in this place which was full of memory and suddenly saw the love of his life that he was about to marry come to pick him up, like he always did—waiting for the older to come.

When Hyunwoo held him tightly in his arms, Kihyun was burying his face in his chest, feeling the heartbeat he longed to listen to, and the older’s scent. He didn’t realize how long he had held the older, releasing all his pent-up emotion when Hyunwoo’s fingers started to caress the back of his head. “Hey, are you alright honey?”

Thinking of how ‘alright’ could be drew a smile in Kihyun’s face. But of course Hyunwoo didn’t see it. He looked up to the handsome face of his future husband and found the peace he always felt whenever he looked at him. “ I am now. Thanks to you.”

The tiny blush crept along Hyunwoo’s cheeks. He always adored Kihyun more than everyone else could think of but the way the younger showed how much he also adored the older one sometimes could bring all the feeling of falling in love for the first time : pure and sweet. Hyunwoo could only blush for the swelling emotion and proud coming from the gesture that was shown by the younger. He stared at the younger’s almond eyes with the speck of brown of his dark orbs, feeling elated and loved from the eyes only. “I miss you so much, god, Kihyun, I feel like I’m going crazy being apart from you...” Hyunwoo pulled the younger back to his chest, hugging him to let the younger know that he meant of every single word he said.

“I miss you too. So much.” Kihyun murmured in Hyunwoo’s chest, feeling all soft and touched. The way their hearts synchronized to each other’s, the little shaky breath he listened frm the older, they all felt just right. Kihyun couldn’t think of anything but the fact that when he was with Hyunwoo, everything felt right.

When they were separated, Kihyun threw a smile and Hyunwoo’s heart was swelled in love, remembering the smile he first saw from Kihyun, the one that got him head over heel for a man named Yoo Kihyun. “How’s he?”

Smiling bitterly, Kihyun shook his head. When Hyunwoo slightly frowned, he cupped Hyunwoo’s face with both of his small hands and whispered in front of the older’s lips, “It’s fine.”

“But you’ve come all the way here—“ Hyunwoo stopped in the mid-phrase, taking a good measure of breath before exhaled it. “—I’m sorry. I was frustrated to see you ... hurt.”

“Who said I was? I’ve talked my heart out to him whether he accepts it or not. Although I do hope he will, someday, give his blessing to us. Ah, but at least, he still considers me as his son ...” Kihyun’s face beamed after saying these which created a genuine smile from Hyunwoo. He looked at his future husband lovingly.

“I will be there when it happens, baby.”

The younger blushed and chuckled. “Yes and anyway, we have a wedding to attend, don’t we?”

“Yeah,” Hyunwoo replied it with a deep chuckle, mimicking Kihyun’s act. “After you?”

Kihyu nodded and when they were about to depart from the place, Kihyun’s mother ran in small steps. “Kihyun-ah.”

Kihyun startled, “Mom?” He hugged his mother who was holding him tightly. “Where’s your father? That old man—“

“Mom. I have talked with him. If you intend to take him with you to the wedding, don’t. Give him some time. Knowing he still acknowledges me as his son is enough, I couldn’t ask for more. Please?”

“My baby, you ... ah, what’s on his mind? I just want ... you to be happy darling.” Kihyun’s mom let out a sigh, caressing Kihyun’s cheek in loving manner.

Kihyun leaned to the touch and held his mother’s hand, “I am happy mom. I promise that I will do anything to make you and him happy too and perhaps, perhaps someday he will give me his blessing too ...”

Mrs Yoo ‘s heart clenched hearing Kihyun’s words, like a thousand needles shot into her heart directly. She should be happy hearing how his son didn’t even lose his hope but on another side, the underlying hurt was subtly laid underneath every single word which caused her a moment of guilt and anger.

She didn’t realize it when Kihyun abruptly wiped away her tears that were uncontrollably fell. “Mom, mom...please ...” Kihyun was staring at her with worried eyes.

“No, I am fine ... Kihyunnie, my baby ...” She couldn’t continue her sentences as she failed saying anything but sobbing softly in the arms of her only son. Kihyun rubbed her back gently as if he touched a delicate thing. “Mom ...please don’t cry.”

Hyunwoo clenched his jaw and looked to other way. His heart was in torment and pain, he knew well how sad Kihyun already was and now his soon-mother in law sobbed in the younger’s arms, it added more pain in his heart.

“I’m sorry, I’m really sorry baby.” Mrs Yoo pulled herself off of Kihyun’s arms, wiping her tears and put all her effort to smile reassuringly to Kihyun.

Kihyun tried to smile. He glanced to Hyunwoo who was still frowning and back to his mother. “Mom, everything will be alright. I promise. Just, please ... don’t cry?”

“Yes, yes baby. I will. Ah, I’m sorry Hyunwoo, it must be uncomfortable for you.”

Hyunwoo shook his head. “No, mother. Not at all. You’re my mother anyway.” Said Hyunwoo gently.

Mrs Yoo’s lips stretched widely as she smiled. She then nodded eagerly. “Yes of course. I am your mother, Hyunwoo-ya. Ah, my heart is full knowing that Kihyun will be in good hands.”

“Knowing that my son is happy is the most important thing in the world for me now and I am thankful for you making it happen.”

◊◊◊◊◊◊◊◊

Hyunwoo, Kihyun, Hoseok and Kihyun’s mother arrived at the wedding place late. Two hours late when Minhyuk, Hyungwon, Jooheon, Changkyun and Taemin were already tired in keeping the guests stay. Some of the guests had left and apologized and wishing the best of luck for the grooms. Hyungwon just muttered under his breath ‘liar’, shot glares at some of the guests who didn’t dare to look at him in the eyes.

When Kihyun was in sight, Taemin breathed in relief. He grabbed Minhyuk’s wrist and said, “Let’s help him dress up!”

Meanwhile Hyunwoo was dragged by Hoseok, followed by Jooheon and Changkyun, back to one of the cabin to dress himself again. “I couldn’t let you get away from this wedding. I will knock your head again if you go away.” Hoseok threatened as he took the wedding tux from the wood closet.

Hyunwoo did eating grin watching how furious his best friend was. “I have to. I got to pick up my prince before marrying him.”

“I—aish, shut up! Wear this.” said Hoseok, losing any word upon Hyunwoo’s rebellious remark.

“Hyung, I don’t understand you. Really. You’ve just ... been late for two hours, some of your guests have decided to leave and you, ah ... I’m just glad you brought Kihyun hyung back.” Jooheon shook his head in disbelief, sharing a look with Changkyun who was biting his lips.

“I didn’t think it was possible but I guess, falling in love like this is quite fun?” Changkyun piped up. Jooheon threw disgust look over him. “Kyun? Ew please no. Having two—ah no. Four madly-in-love hyungs is enough for me. I have to hold the urge to cringe every time they throw this .. ‘look’ towards each other.” Jooheon shuddered imagining his own words.

“F-four—w-what are you talking about?” Hoseok stuttered, his fingers were fumbling between button and button hole of Hyunwoo’s wedding tuxedo.

Joooheon whistled while Changkyun laughed. “Eh? Did I count it wrong? Mm—one, two ... ah four! It’s four.” Then throwing his eating grin to Hoseok.

“Ya! Wh—what is that grin for?! Hey,” Hyunwoo held Hoseok’s body who was about to run toward Jooheon to shut his mouth. By shutting his mouth was of course would be done forcefully.

Jooheon laughed out loud. “Hyung, why are you so worked up like this? Did I say something I shouldn’t?” Smirking after teasing Hoseok.

“You—“ Hoseok deadpanned but he relented in Hyunwoo’s iron grip but then threw a betrayed look over Hyunwoo who was furiously laughed. “Hey hey! Who told you to laugh?”

Hyunwoo watched his best friend’s reddened face funnily, his small eyes got smaller into crescent shape as he laughed furiously over his panic-stricken friend. “Hoseokkie, being furious like this just makes things worse.”

Hoseok didn’t speak anything but throwing a dead glare to anyone in the room. After the laughter died down, he carefully asked, “So, everybody knew?”

“Everybody knew.” Imitated Changkyun, nodding in acknowledgement.

Hoseok sighed and collapsed on the bed. “Guys ...”

“Hyung, you and Minhyuk hyung didn’t cover your secret well. The blushes you had whenever he laughed and made funny faces? Even my niece could point it out easily.” Jooheon chirped, sitting beside Hoseok and patted his thigh.

Hoseok groaned but didn’t reply anything. “Minhyuk hyung also has to clear his throat every time he talks about you. Ah it’s embarrassing to see you both being so secretive but failed.” Changkyun chirped, replacing Hoseok to help Hyunwoo get his wedding tux and hair ready.

Hoseok’s groans got somehow louder. Jooheon laughed again and hit him repeatedly before he finally got himself doing amateur wrestle with the older. Between Jooheon’s yells and Changkyun’s laugh, Hyunwoo smiled contentedly ; feeling supported and loved by his friends and juniors. The nervousness, the outburst of emotion he felt in Yongsan and his wedding jitters were lifted slowly by the warmth of the brotherhood that he cherished dearly in his life. Thinking that it would be all perfect when he walked down the aisle with the man of his desire, the love of his life.

◊◊◊◊◊◊◊◊

“Kihyunnie, close your eyes. Yes, like that. Please don’t open them yet. Or you’ll have Halloween make-up for your wedding ceremony.” Taemin carefully applied the eyeshadow to make his eyes stand out and putting some eyeliner as the final touch for the eyes.

“Open your eyes.” Said Taemin proudly. Kihyun opened his eyes and stared at himself in the mirror, secretly admiring the dramatic effect but not too heavy that Taemin skillfully applied on his eyes, defining his sharp features but still looking stunning and beautiful.

“Admiring yourself?” asked Minhyuk with lopsided smirk.

Kihyun shot him a dagger. “Of course I am! If I am not impressed by myself, how would Hyunwoo hyung and the guests be impressed too?”

“Kihyunnie, I know Hyunwoo hyung before you, okay. Just give him a bare face and body and he will be howling all over you forever.” Minhyuk playfully commented while he was lying down in the bed.

Taemin laughed while Kihyun blushed furiously. “Keep your mouth disciplined or else I will do that.”

“Hahahaha.” Minhyuk just laughed listening Kihyun’s threats that he used to hear ever since he first met but never once Kihyun did what he said. “Hey, I’m speaking in all honesty here. Your reddened face is the evidence Yoo Kihyun.” Minhyuk retorted in triumphant smile.

Taemin who was helping Kihyun wearing his wedding tux chirped. “Should you be embarrassed when what Minhyuk said is true?”

Kihyun glared. “It’s not that! I just didn’t like discussing my private moment with Hyunwoo hyung.”

“Eeyy,” teased Taemin and Minhyuk at same time, laughing when they knew they did that.

“Shut up!” Kihyun tried to make them stop talking but he ended up sighing and blushing furiously listening to all dirty jokes and remarks from both of them while getting himself ready.

Although he was furiously sending death glares to both friends, he could feel his anxiety, overwhelming emotion and wedding jitters slowly fade away, replaced with warmth and strength that he received from this embarrassing moment, from his friends.

◊◊◊◊◊◊◊◊

The wedding march was playing, beautifully echoed throughout the ship as Kihyun took his walk to the aisle, holding himself from crying in the middle of the song.

The jittery feels he experienced before this very day was reappeared, bringing back all self-awareness of himself and low impression he had for himself. He could feel it, raising like a bubble; starting from his stomach and slowly filling his upper body.

Inhaling deeply before taking another step, he decided to focus on someone who was still back-facing him with gorgeous back and fitted classic black wedding tuxedo. All the memories were flooding in his mind about the owner of that back. From their first meeting, their first date, first kiss, and the first time he saw the older cry, all were piled up and played one by one like a movie. The man he would do anything for and who took him as he is, the man who was now slowly turning his body and face as the officiant announced the younger’s coming.

The when Hyunwoo turned and saw Kihyun standing there, all white in his stunning wedding tuxedo, smiling widely with sparkles in his almond eyes that were flaunted in perfect eye-make up with his hair styled in fluffy way the way Hyunwoo liked the best, and love...yes love that he saw clearly in Kihyun’s eyes, his heart was about to drop. Hyunwoo took a very deep breath to continue looking at the groom, his man, his love, who was walking slowly towards him, ever so gracefully. The older once again felt his heart clenched in awe, in love and in realization of how much he adored his lover.

He once again fell in love with Kihyun in their wedding day.

The when Kihyun saw the awestruck expression in Hyunwoo’s eyes, the love that he couldn’t hide with his adoration look, the younger’s strength to hold back his tears was slowly crumbling down. This wasn’t the first time he saw that in Hyunwoo’s eyes that would turn so soft and dreamy as he looked into the younger’s. The nonverbal touch and admiration were one of so many ways Hyunwoo would show how much Kihyun mean to him.

Kihyun could no longer holding himself, especially when the older extended his right hand to hold Kihyun’s, those tears were escaping from his hold. After all that they’d been through, they were finally here, in this moment, and still together in love.

Kihyun spent his time to look up, watching as the older did the same to him, in front of their families, friends and officiant, studying their partner’s features although they did it literally everyday but at this sacred moment, the needed to look closely and grasped the admiration from both partners were everything to them.

Would they be happy? Would they still in love after saying those sacred words?

As if they got the revelation of every train o thoughts and questions in their minds, they both smiled in unison.

“I love you.” whispered the older.

“I love you too.” replied the younger.

The had their first kiss as husbands under the confetti, blessing words and tears of happiness from their friends and families.

◊◊◊◊◊◊◊◊

The mighty sun had disappeared and replaced with stars. The dark skies weren’t a hindrance for the festive moment happening beneath, on the decked ship where Hyunwoo and Kihyun tied-the-knot as husbands officially. The light strings were placed on the ship rails creating the merry ambiance where guests were dancing along music. Chatters and laughter were filling the ship with some slapstick acts and stupid jokes but they all worked amazingly.

Until—

“Attention everyone! Hello everyone?” Minhyuk tapped the mic a bit louder, hoping to attract everyone’s attention. “Yes, hello. Sir, can you see me—yes you can now. Thank you now that I have your attention,” Minhyuk cleared his throat, “—before we continue to chatter and dance again, we’d like to invite you to do something together with our beloved grooms here.”

Hyunwoo and Kihyun threw a look to each other. The younger was sitting on the older’s lap with his hands around the older’s neck. He rested his head on the older's.

“Is this the time?” murmured Kihyun softly, inhaling the older’s hair scent.

Hyunwoo hummed in acknowledgement. “I think so.”

They both were watching how Minhyuk invited all guests to stand. “Eum, he’s really good being an MC.” Commented Kihyun, chuckling lightly.

“Guess so. He needs to channel his talent somehow.” The older smiled.

They were engrossed in watching when Minhyuk turned his face towards them and called them out. “So let’s have our grooms lead the ceremony?”

With small cheer from their closest friends and playful whistles, Hyunwoo walked together with Kihyun with intertwined fingers.

“They’re going to fly the lantern to the sky as the symbol of hope, luck and prosperity for their wedding. You all here will be following them releasing these beautiful lanterns to the sky for good wishes to them. So everyone, do you want to enjoy them?” shouted Minhyuk too enthusiastically, inviting a big cheer and laughter.

Hyunwoo then led Kihyun to the rails, watching as Hoseok and Changkyun prepared the broken white paper lantern with their names imprinted on it, ceremoniously handed it over to the grooms with wide smile. “Hyung, just so you know, I might not be gay but you both are the coolest gay couple ever.” Confessed Changkyun under his breath that was heard clearly by Hyunwoo, who arched one of his brow and asked, “And you’ve just realized it?”

“Forget it.” Muttered Changkyun, feigning a big frown but then raised his two thumps up.

“Thanks kid.” Said Hyunwoo, tightening his hand around Kihyun’s waist, glancing down to the smaller only to get an intoxicated smile from his newly husband. And his heart was swelled in rapturous sensation for the umpteenth time only in a day. He leaned down closer to the younger and pecked his lips, his adorable rosy tinted lips. “Love you.”

Kihyun just had his sense flew somewhere else and knew who caused it and it wasn’t because of the words themselves, it was the person, the culprit who stole his heart years ago and still doing it for the very moment, the entity of Son Hyunwoo that was absorbed entirely into his system.

“Alright, guys, we are sure you can’t wait to bring this thing down to the bedroom,” Minhyuk’s comment immediately cause an abrupt laughter from the whole guests and families, which earned a shy look from Kihyun and a lopsided smirk on Hyunwoo’s lips as if he wanted to confirm the statement unabashedly. “—but you can’t do that yet, of course, before completing this ‘ritual’. So, are you ready for this?”

Hyunwoo and Kihyun, holding the lantern together, smiling towards each other with eyes full of love and hope, nodded together. “We’ve been ready since forever.” Kihyun chimed, throwing a playful smile while Hyunwoo lighted the lantern as well as the guests.

After all the lanterns that were distributed accordingly to the families,friends and guests, they were all standing before the railing, ready to launch the lanterns to the night sky.

Just seconds before Hyunwoo gave the cue to release the lanterns, Kihyun who was glancing to his mother, was taken aback from someone’s presence behind his mother.

He was shaking his head in disbelief but the same person, whom he knew and grew up with, the one whom he put his respect and just couple hours ago had conversation with him by the beach and who gave him the ‘cold shoulder’ of his marriage, not his status as son, was standing behind his mother.

Kihyun’s father.

The hesitant look was clear on his face but his expression got softened when he looked at Kihyun, who felt his legs were trembling out of joy and emotion, and Kihyun wasn’t sure of what’s happening but his father’s image got blurry as he blinked his eyes. He thought he was hallucinating but his father was still standing there with mixed emotion and wrapped his arms around Kihyun’s mother who was rubbing his back to support him. And when they both nodded to Kihyun, he was definitely crying silently as the cue had been given by Hyunwoo and hundreds of colorful lanterns were released into the night sky.

His father came to his wedding.

Hyunwoo his cheeks lovingly. “Why are you crying, baby?”

It didn’t take long for the crying to subside as Kihyun softly whispered, “In happiness hyung. For marrying you, for the blessing of this marriage, for loving you. And for a family we’re going to have.”

Hyunwoo smiled gently, kissing the younger’s forehead and whispered, “We’re going to have a happy family. I will give my all to be the best husband I can be, loving you till my last breath, providing you with happiness and care and protect you from anything that will harm you.”

“I have no doubt you will do that, hyung. Thank you for loving me and making me the happiest person...” Kihyun replied, unable to utter any words as he pressed himself to Hyunwoo’s body and buried his face on his husband’s chest.

And that’s when Hyunwoo saw Kihyun’s father who was wrapping his arms around Kihyun’s mom’s shoulders. They both were staring at him but Hyunwoo solely focused only to the father, giving his gentle look and protective manner towards Kihyun who was still in his arms.

Seconds passed and they were still staring at each other from a distance. The cheers and chatters were filling the ship, among the chatters and clatters and voices, the time stood still between Mr Yoo and Hyunwoo before finally Mr Yoo nodded.

He gave his simplest gesture and Hyunwoo smiled like owning the world.

Hyunwoo looked around him, watching as Hoseok and Minhyuk smiling shyly and dancing with their own tune under the burning lanterns in the sky, he saw Jooheon and Changkyun who were chatting with his parents, Hyungwon with his left arm linked by a beautiful woman who looked older but has a friendly smile. He looked to the left, at the very back where Taemin and his wedding photographer, Jota, were making out when no one saw them but blushing as Taemin caught Hyunwoo’s stare, grinning so wide. Hyunwoo looked at Kihyun’s parents who were sitting again, still in love and he promised to be like that with Kihyun for many many years after his wedding, with arms wrapped in other’s shoulders and the other hand interlocked to each other. He looked up to the burning lanterns that slowly faded away, consumed in flames.

And when he looked down, to the orbs of the sweetest love he ever had and who would be the one in his life until forever meets forever, Hyunwoo felt the twitch of the corner of his lips as he chuckled in disbelief. “ We’re married, baby. We’re husbands now.”

Kihyun chuckled as well and caressed his husband’s left cheek. “Believe me, we are.”

Hyunwoo nodded and rested his forehead on the latter’s. “Let’s grow old together. The best is yet to come.”

Kihyun hummed in acknowledgment and stayed in the position with memory of the that night when he got assaulted, all those bad decisions he made, snarky comments and harsh acts he did and those wedding jitters were gone.

Once in awhile, right in the middle of an ordinary life, love gives us a fairy tale

-unknown-

THE END

a/n 

my promise has been fulfilled and this is the last chapter of Wedding Jitters.

I hope you like this and comment and upvote if you want to ^^

This has been a nice journey and thank you all for your comments and responses for this story!

See you in the next series!

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