December 31, 2009

Yoongi ends his life today.  Hopefully you’ve changed the future enough where you don’t even have to look at this letter anymore.  Hopefully, Yoongi is happy in your world.  He’ll be absent from school, and by the time someone finds him, they’re too late.  Please save Yoongi.

            Yeoreum bit her lip, staring at the last entry in the letter.  Although Mr. Kim had assured her that Yoongi was fine and simply recovering from a cold, she still felt slightly uneasy about the entire exchange.  He wouldn’t have lied to me if he was just recovering from a cold...right?  Maybe I’m just overthinking things again.  

            Shaking her head, she stared at the empty desk next to her, wondering if the blond-haired boy would decide to show up.  By then, whispers about Yoongi had faded, and Yeoreum’s classmates had moved on to different pieces of gossip.  Yeoreum hadn’t tried to talk to Minji yet, but with Minji trying to avoid Yeoreum at all costs, she decided to let it go.

            Lost in thought, she almost jumped in her seat when she heard the sound of the chair next to her being pulled out.  Yeoreum turned and smiled, making eye-contact with Yoongi.  However, her smile soon fell.

            “Yoongi...are you okay?”

            “Hm?”

            “You look like you haven’t slept in a while.”

            He smiled.  “Because I had a cold.”

            “Why didn’t you tell me you had a cold?” Yeoreum asked.  “I would’ve brought you some soup at least.”

            “I didn’t want to burden you, Yeoreum.”

            “It wouldn’t have been a burden.”

            “Anyway--”

            “Yoongi,” she continued, “I’m serious.  It wouldn’t have been a burden.”

            “I wanted to give you this.” He held up a chain, which had a ring strung through it.

            Yeoreum felt her cheeks flush, and she shyly took the chain from Yoongi.  On closer examination, her eyes widened.  “This is one of your rings.”

            “You noticed?”

            “It’s the one you wore when we first met…” she trailed off.  “Not that I was looking, or anything--”

            He smiled.  “I just thought it would suit you.  And besides, I never got you anything at Christmas.”

            “Thank you, Yoongi,” Yeoreum replied.

            “No, I should be the one thanking you.”

            “I haven’t done much--”

            “Thank you for trying even when I was pushing you away.”

            “Yoongi, I--”

            At that moment, Mr. Kim walked into the room, and Yoongi turned toward the front of the classroom, a small smile on his face.

            “Let’s walk home together, okay?” Yeoreum whispered.

            “Okay.”

<:>

            Yeoreum couldn’t wait for the day to be over.  Counting down the hours, minutes, and finally seconds, she turned to Yoongi as soon as the bell rang.

            “Yeoreum, could I speak with you after class?” Mr. Kim asked on his way out of the classroom.

            She turned toward Yoongi.  “Do you mind?”

            “Nope.  Do you want me to hold your bag?”

            Yeoreum nodded, handing her backpack to Yoongi.  “Thank you.”  Hesitantly making her way toward the teacher’s office, she was relieved to see that Mr. Kim was alone in the office, staring out of the big glass window behind his desk.  Yeoreum cleared awkwardly, and Mr. Kim turned around.

            “You wanted to speak with me?”

            “So?” Mr. Kim asked, taking a seat.  “He came to school today.”

            “I know.”

            “What do you think?”

            “I think…” she trailed off, “we’ve changed the future enough, right?”

            “I don’t know,” Mr. Kim said honestly.  “I’d like to think we did, but I can’t be sure.  The diary and the letter end today, but what about tomorrow?  And the next day?  You two won’t be my students for much longer--”

            “We’ll just have to keep on trying, right?”

            “...Right.” Mr. Kim sighed.  “Sorry for ranting.  I just...I’m just so worried.”

            “I am too.”

            “Yoongi seems calmer lately.”

            “I know,” she replied.

            “Perhaps that’s a sign that things are getting better?”

            “I hope so.” She bit her lip.  “I really hope so.”

<:>

            “Sorry for making you wait,” she said, running up to Yoongi.  “Was my bag heavy?”

            “Nope,” he replied.  “Not a bit.”

            “I can take it back now.”

            He shook his head.  “I don’t mind holding it.”

            Yeoreum’s eyes narrowed.  “Really?”

            “Really.”

            “Are you sure?”

            “I’m sure.”

            “If you insist…” she trailed off.

            They walked on the sidewalk in silence.  Yeoreum didn’t really mind, and she figured that Yoongi was comfortable with the silence as well.  However, as they neared Yeoreum’s apartment complex, she wished that the road to her house was longer.  

            “Hey Yoongi, do you want to stay over today?” she blurted out.

            “Huh?”

            “Well, you see, my mother wants to have you over for dinner some time.”

            He smiled.  “Thank you for the invitation.  But maybe not today, Yeoreum.”

            “Oh.  Then next time for sure, okay?”

            They had stopped in front of her building.

            “Next time.” He handed Yeoreum her backpack.  “Goodbye, Yeoreum.”

            “Bye...Yoongi.”

            Yeoreum watched Yoongi walk down the road, and a strange feeling fell over her.  Before he could turn the corner, she started to run after him, her footsteps pounding on the concrete.  Yoongi turned around, confused, as the girl ran into him, almost tackling him in a hug.  He stumbled backward, surprised.

            “Y-Yeoreum?”

            “I’ve said this before, but I’ll say it again,” she mumbled, face pressed into his chest and arms wrapped around him.  “I like you.  A lot.”

            “I like you too.” He wrapped his arms around her.

            Yeoreum didn’t want to let Yoongi go, but she hesitantly let her hands fall.  “I’ll see you later.”  She stood on her tip-toes and pressed her lips against Yoongi’s cheek, blushing immediately.

            “Goodbye, Yeoreum,” he replied, turning around.  She watched, silently, as he walked down the street and disappeared from her view.

<:>

            “So?  Did you ask your boyfriend to stop by for dinner?” Mrs. Han asked as Yeoreum walked through the door.

            “I did.”

            “And?”

            “He said that he’d love to come over for dinner, but he’s a little busy today.”

            “All right.  Let me know in advance so that I can prepare a nice meal.”

            “Thank you.” She smiled.  “I’ll be in my room.”

            “Make sure you study hard.”

            “I know, Mom,” Yeoreum replied.

            Closing her bedroom door behind her, Yeoreum placed her backpack on the ground and flung herself into bed.  Sighing, she stared at her ceiling.  Why?  Why do I feel like something is off?  She shook her head and sat up, reaching for her backpack.  Yeoreum dumped everything out of it, and she frowned as soon as she caught a glimpse of an unfamiliar envelope.

            Yeoreum picked up the envelope, immediately recognizing the handwriting to be Yoongi’s.  Why?  She opened it.

            “No,” she whispered, the letter falling out of her hands.  Standing up, she threw her door open and ran through her living room, past a very surprised Mrs. Han.

            “Yeoreum?  Where are you--”

            “Yoongi--”

            “Hold up.  It’s almost dinner time.  Are you sure--”

            “I-I…” Yeoreum struggled to form words.  She turned to look at her mother, and she wondered why her mother seemed blurry.

            “Are you crying?”

            “Mom.”

            “Go.  Explain later.”

            Yeoreum stuffed her feet into shoes and ran out of the door.  Calm down, Yeoreum.  You’ve only been apart for maybe 15 minutes?  He couldn’t have gotten that far.  , what if--no.  Calm.  It takes ten minutes to get to Yoongi’s house from mine, so…

            She sprinted.

            , no, Yoongi, please.  No.  What if--

            Turning a corner, she felt her lungs burning, but she pushed herself harder.

            I have to make it.  Please.  Oh god.  What did the letter say again?

            Yeoreum decided to take a shortcut through a park.

            His house, right?  I just have to make it.

            Successfully cutting through the park, Yeoreum passed an intersection, when something caught her eye.  She stopped running.  From across the street, she could see him.  Yoongi stood, one foot over the edge of the sidewalk, as cars whirled past him.  Yeoreum knew that she wouldn’t be able to physically reach him in time.  This wasn’t like the letter.  We’ve changed the future so much, but how can we still end at the same place?

            As he stepped out into the intersection, she felt fresh tears well up in the corners of her eyes.

            “YOONGI!”