10

The Butterfly Effect

            Lost in thought, head filled with her newest discovery, Yeoreum made her way to the front gate where Yoongi was waiting, dazed.

            Yoongi nodded when she ran up to him.

            “Sorry it took so long,” she said, thinking of a lie on the spot.  “Mr. Kim wanted to ask me a few questions about my future university plans.”

            “Where are you planning on going?”

            She smiled.

            “It’s for the project.  It’s not like I’m actually interested in where you’re going.” He rolled his eyes.

            “Yonsei,” she said.

            He didn’t know why he felt a sinking feeling in his stomach.  “Oh.”

            “What about you?” she asked.

            “I…haven’t thought it out that far.”

            “Eh?” her eyes widened.  “But it’s already next year…”

            He shrugged.  “I just haven’t given it much thought.”

            They turned down a small side road, and Yoongi led the way to an older two-story apartment complex.  The two climbed the stairs, and Yoongi paused in front of the second door.  

            “Ah, I forgot my key again.”

            Yeoreum’s eyes widened.  “Eh?  That’s bad, isn’t it?”

            “I keep my spare under the doormat.  It’s a little cliche…” he reached under the mat and took out a key.  

            She smiled.

            “Excuse the mess,” he mumbled opening the door and darting in first.

            Yeoreum watched in amusement as he scrambled to pick up laundry and food wrappers.  It was nice to see a different side of him compared to the one she saw in school.

            “Ever since my mom started drinking, she started coming home less and less,” Yoongi said, eyes trained on the floor.

            Yeoreum remained silent.

            “She didn’t always drink, though.  For a while, she was sober...but that slowly became too painful for her.”

            He carried the empty wrappers to the kitchen trash can.  “Apparently, she was so scared of being sober that she gave herself alcohol poisoning.  When I found her, it was already too late.”

            Yeoreum took a seat on Yoongi’s couch.  “I’m sorry.”

            “I just wanted to get the story straight,” he growled, recalling the incident with the student from the other class.  “Don’t need unnecessary rumors following me around.”

            “What about your bruise?”

            “Huh?”

            “The bruise,” Yeoreum said.  “You had one under your eye a few weeks ago.”

            “Oh, that?” he sighed.  “Mom hit me.”

            “Eh?”

            “It’s not what you think,” he said.  “She was so drunk that she accidently hit me with her glass.  She apologized after.  That was the first and last time she hit me.”

            Yeoreum nodded.

            “I wonder how much pain she was in that she was scared to be sober.”  He paused.  “And I wonder if it would’ve been different if I had listened to her better.”  Yoongi trailed off, unsure of what to say.  He glanced at Yeoreum, who was staring at him, before looking away in embarrassment.  “So?  What about you?” Yoongi asked gruffly, taking a seat next to her.

            Yeoreum paused, thinking about her own life.  “What do you want to know?”

            “Stuff for the project.”

            “Well, Mr. Kim didn’t really give us any guidelines…” she trailed off.  “Oh, I have one.  What about favorite songs?  My all-time favorite is Big Bang’s remake of Lee Moon Sae’s song, “Sunset Glow”.  Do you know that one?”

            He nodded.  “It’s more popular than the original.  Why do you like it?”

            “It’s happy and sad at the same time.  It’s also...hopeful?” She shrugged.  “I don’t know if that makes sense, but that’s what I think.  What is your favorite song?”

            “It changes, but I’ve recently been into the album Epik High released last year called Pieces: Part One.  Particularly, their title track.”

            Yeoreum paused.  “I think I’ve heard of it.  It’s called “One”, right?”

            He nodded.

            “When I go home, I’ll listen to it again.”

            “The lyrics especially...sorry.  I’m rambling.”

            “No,” she replied, eyes twinkling.  “I don’t mind.”

            “I’ll stop.  Since I’ve talked about my family, tell me more about your family.”

            She paused.  “To start, my parents named me Yeoreum because I was born in the summer, about a year after they met.  I always hated my name because I never thought I was warm enough to deserve it.”

            “I think you are.”

            She turned red.  “A-Anyway, growing up, I was only good at studying.  Even today, the only thing I’m good at is studying.  The school library is like another home.”  Which is how I ended up finding the letter about you.

            “I see.”

            “My parents got a divorce when I was in kindergarten, so I live with my mom now.  I haven’t heard from my dad since the divorce.  I wonder if he still thinks of us.”

            “Oh.”

            “We’re doing okay now, but sometimes I wonder how we would’ve been doing if my parents were still t-together.” She blinked away tears that were beginning to develop.

            Yoongi silently handed her a box of tissues.

            “To be honest,” Yeoreum continued, “I don’t really like to talk about stuff like family.  Not even Minji knows that my parents divorced.  But around you, I feel like I can open up because you’re nic--”

            “Don’t say that.”

            “Eh?” Her eyes widened.

            “I’m not a nice person.”

            She took a deep breath and wrapped her arms around him in a hug.  Mumbling into his shirt, she said, “You are.”

            “Let go,” he said weakly.  “I’m dangerous, rude, and you shouldn’t get involved with me.  Don’t you remember the first day we met?”

            “I do.”

            “Then why?” he asked, exasperated.  He reached behind him, trying to get her to let go of him.  

            “I like you.”

            His hands fell to his sides, and he stared off into space.  “You...what?”

            “I like you, Yoongi.”

 

<:>

 

            Yoongi excused himself, leaving Yeoreum alone in his living room.  Making sure the door to the bathroom was locked behind him, he stared into the mirror, examining his face.  She was warm, he noted as he looked at his complexion.  Even he had a tinge of pink in his cheeks, no doubt because of her.

            He let out a short chuckle.  She likes me?  But then he stopped himself.  No.  Don’t.  She’ll only get hurt in the end.  Who would be crazy enough to like someone like you?  She has such a bright future ahead of her at a prestigious university, and you won’t be able to follow her there.  He opened the mirror, staring at the medicine in the cabinet.  

            A knock on the door caused him to slam the mirror a little louder than he anticipated.

            “Um...Yoongi?”

            “Y-Yes?” , I’m even stuttering now.

            “Sorry, was I too blunt?”

            “No.” He took a deep breath, resting his hand on the doorknob.  Okay, open it.  When he did, he was surprised to see her standing right there, eyes filled with concern.  She smells like strawberries....  He couldn’t bring himself to look her in the eyes, out of fear that he’d turn pink again.

            “Sorry.”

            “I already told you that apologizing irritates me.”

            She nodded.  “I was looking around your kitchen--”

            “Hey--”

            “I didn’t open anything, I promise,” she interrupted.  “But it seems a little empty.  Are you...eating?”

            “Don’t worry about me.”

            “But--”

            “Don’t worry.”

            He didn’t answer my question.  “Then, starting from tomorrow, I’ll make you a lunch.”

            “No.”

            “It isn’t any trouble at all,” she replied quickly.  “Usually, I bring in leftovers, and my mom always makes too much for the two of us, so--”

            “Yeoreum, it’s fine.”

            “Please,” she bowed.  “It would make me happy.”

            “I…okay.”

            Yeoreum smiled.  “Great!”

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Comments

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ijeeazi
#1
Chapter 19: I rarely comment. I found your story through a recommendation and wanted to give it a try. I wasn't expecting anything deep... but this one spoke to me. I have been struggling with depression and suicidal thoughts for over a decade now and my mental state is not at its best place. This one, I can relate to. Thank you for writing such a beautiful piece. I hope one day, all of us live content enough that we can only think back of the past without any pain or remorse. We've survived for so long, we can do it for so much more.
Kidongvin
#2
Chapter 19: Awww! This story is awesome!!! Good job. This deserves more! Thank you for writing this! There isn’t many Yoongi completed stories here and im glad i found this. Keep it up, girl! Youre doing great! God bless youuu
chansoofany_
#3
Chapter 19: Worth to read
idktae
43 streak #4
Chapter 19: Ah, this was lovely to read.
BeatBoxer
#5
Is this story inspired from the manga Orange?
Lux2Nox
#6
Chapter 19: What a lovely story.. it would be nice if we all get letters to save people from suicide...
You must be a nice person authornim for having this kind of idea.
Much love from a french reader~
ccjial #7
Chapter 19: omg omg im crying buckets T_T How come i didn't see it?! but now im glad i found it...this was...omg...just awsome! Beautiful story! My feelings went all rollercoaster...Keep up the good work author-nim! Thanks for sharing it with us.
tartytorts
#8
Chapter 19: I'm crying this was beautiful