The following morning, just like yesterday, I woke up surprised.

Checking the time, I saw that it was now nearly noon! I was startled for a while with the thought that I missed another school day until I remembered that it was now Saturday and we would have the next two weeks off for Winter Vacation. Wow.. another year that I spend Christmas alone..My mom would be working all day again and my father... well by now he's just out of the picture. Aiish, am I that much of a heavy sleeper? Two days in a row now I end up sleeping out and wake up in the same spot because of the same person. I really should fix these habits. I stayed in bed for a while, staring up at the ceiling thinking about what I want to do now.

It was December 17th and Christmas was in eight days (this year it lands on a Sunday). I thought about it for a while, usually during these times it would be freezing cold but it has actually been windy with a few parts of the day where it seems like summer. However today I'm starting to feel the winter temperature. The breeze coming in from under the door made me cuddle closely with my blankets. If I could sing a song with only my sighs, I would sing that song until I run out of air to use. I don't know why.. I felt pretty gloomy today. Chanyeol will spend the rest of the week with his family, but what about mine? As always not here. Laying in bed made me go into my deep memory mindset. Thinking of everything that happened yesterday from Chanyeol's breakfast surprise to.. well, everything was a surprise! To meeting the young boy and going out with him and then finding out that he's related to the taller. Then once again going out, but with both of them.. and then Oh God.. Remembering that brought me back to the words of the taller. I replayed his words over and over in my mind, syllable after syllable..

"Why do you think I act this way towards you?... It's because I do love you..I don't regret doing so...I just want you to be happy..."

I thought I would go crazy if I thought of it even longer. What should I do? I'm happy whenever I'm with him, but.. am I ready to be in relationship? What if things don't work out and I end up losing the only person in my life? My heart was racing at my endless thoughts.. aiish, I should do something to get my mind off of things. After finally getting out of bed, I slowly dragged my body into the shower. Shortly afterwards, I got got dressed, put on my white pullover hoodie, a black fashion jacket and a wrapped a dark grey scarf around my neck. I never really liked wearing scarfs. But this was one, my mother gave to me and it covered most of my face (my eyes is the only thing others can see). Today, by the way it was inside, I could tell today would be a cold day. I picked up my wallet and house keys and unconsciously made my way out the house.

Once I was out, I didn't really know where I planned on going but my legs took over and made their way down the street and into the heart of the city. Seeing couples hold onto each other closely and tiny children covered in layers of clothing that made them walk like bundles of penguins had me chuckle to myself. Despite my gloomy mood earlier, being outside and seeing the life that goes on outdoors definitely made up for it. Walking down the street, I noticed that some houses and buildings have Christmas decorations already up and on display. Others were just starting to display their art; putting up colorful lights, sparkling wreaths, randomly placed ornaments, and even a few mistletoes were floating in the air... overall it was a wonderful sight. Gazing at the decorations, I ended up standing outside of the clothing store I took Sehun to yesterday. I hesitat