It was completely dark already and they weren't even halfway to Hogwarts. Jinki glided through the night sky, Jonghyun's chest pressed against his back and arms tightly wrapped around his waist. He turned around to look at the boy who was still soundly sleeping under the charm, his hair fluttering softly in the wind. Jinki sighed and looked forward again. He kept thinking about what had happened, about the things Jonghyun said, trying to put it into something that would actually make sense. But it never did, not fully, no matter how much he analyzed his words and actions. There was something that kept ringing in Jinki's head the loudest, drowning out all the other thoughts.

You are the worst thing that has happened to me in my whole life. I wish I never met you.

Jinki felt like those were the most hurtful things Jonghyun could've said at that moment. You could dislike a person, not want to talk to them, look at them or even be around them. But to Jinki Jonghyun's words pretty much meant that he didn't want him to exist, in Jonghyun's world at least. How much do you have to hate someone to wish for something like that? 

It had never been Jinki's goal. When he bullied Jonghyun, annoyed him, pulled pranks on him. He never thought that Jonghyun would actually, from the bottom of his heart, grow to loathe him. But it was the natural turn of the events right? Jinki was the one in the wrong thinking it wouldn't happen.

His train of thought was interrupted when he heard some muttering coming from behind. His head snapped back to check if Jonghyun had somehow woken up by himself. Did I screw up the spell? Did it not work properly because he was drunk? It could be dangerous. If Jonghyun had really woken up he could try to free himself and make both of them fall off the broom.

Jonghyun seemed to be still deeply asleep though. He kept muttering something quietly under his nose but Jinki couldn't really make out anything of it because of the wind thudding in his ears. He slowed down and tried listening once more.

"Why ...n't you ...st get it. I ...te you..."

Jinki frowned and slowed down some more.

"I hate you."

This one Jinki heard very clearly.

"I hate you. I hate you. I hate you."

Jinki took slow breaths. It was fine. He was fine.

"I hate you so much." Jonghyun mumbled in his sleep. His breathy voice didn't match the words, it was soft, affectionate and slightly pained. Pleading. It was like he was speaking the complete opposite. "You... feel the same way, right?"

Jinki knew there was no point in answering, Jonghyun was just sleep talking. So he simply kept flying ahead, letting the wind take away some of the heaviness in his chest. "I don't." he then said firmly. "I never really did Jonghyun."

It felt way too easy to say it out loud. To finally admit it, after so many years. Even if Jonghyun was asleep.

No. Especially because Jonghyun was asleep.

Jinki piggybacked Jonghyun all the way to the Gryffindor tower when they arrived back at Hogwarts. He grabbed some random red-robed student and told him to get Choi Minho to come out. He waited patiently, the boy on his back breathing evenly against his neck. It made Jinki shiver slightly but he did his best to ignore it.

A few minutes later Minho appeared and as soon as he did his eyes turned dark. After all his best friend had left hours ago just to return some books to the library and was now lying completely unconscious on Lee Jinki's back of all people. His first thought was to deck Jinki across the face but he willed himself to calm down and let the other boy explain everything first. He approached him and stretched out his arms for Jonghyun.

"What happened?"

Jinki let Jonghyun's limp body slowly slide from his back so that he could hand the boy over to Minho. "I don't know how and why but he got himself drunk. He wanted to fly on his broom so I put a sleeping charm on him. I didn't do anything bad to him if that's what you're thinking."

Minho looked Jinki up and down with scrutinizing eyes before pulling Jonghyun onto his back and moving away.

"Well, then." Jinki said lowly and turned around to leave.

"Thanks."

Jinki looked back.

"For stopping him from flying. You could've just let him be but you didn't. You even brought him all the way here. Thanks."

Jinki guessed Minho meant well when he said that. But to Jinki it sounded more like 'You did something exceptionally nice for the person I had you for. I assumed you'd just let him kill himself." But it was fair. All those years he worked really hard for this kind of reputation, it wouldn't be right to expect anything more. So Jinki just sent the other boy a tight lipped smile and then left.

Jinki went back to his own dorm, praying for Kibum and Taemin to be already asleep. Unfortunately they weren't, or at least Kibum wasn't as it turned out once he entered their room.

"Where the heck have you been?" his friend asked as soon as he heard him come in.

Jinki threw himself on his bed, head butting his pillow. He took a few deep breaths through his mouth. "I ed up."

"What? What did you do?"

"He really hates me Kibum." Jinki could hear his voice become shaky. "I did it. I worked so hard for it for all those years and he finally ing hates me." 

Kibum exhaled and crossed his arms over his chest. "Just tell me what happened."

"Didn't you hear what I just said? He hates me. I took your advice and tried to give him his favorite food but he told me to piss off. And then he got himself piss ing drunk and I don't even have any idea what the he was doing afterwards. And after all that he said he hated me. Over and over again. He-... he ing said I was the worst thing that has ever happened to him." Jinki felt his throat clench at that last one.

Kibum sat down on the edge of Jinki's bed and then put his hand on the boy's shoulder. He gave him a few minutes to calm down before speaking again. "He was drunk. Probably angry too. I'm sure he didn't mean all that."

"No. No, he did. He ing did, every single word."

"He's just angry Jinki. I talked with Minho and he gave me a green light which means Jonghyun feels the same as you do. You can't give up now."

Jinki frowned in confusion. "The 's a green light?"

Kibum waved his hand dismissively. "Muggle reference, never mind that. I just said Jonghyun likes you back you idiot."

Jinki had no reason not to believe that now. In fact, this idea appeared in his mind for a millisecond a few hours ago, when Jonghyun was sitting in his lap, saying all those things. But it disappeared as soon as it came. He had been too confused back then, too frustrated to think about the meaning behind Jonghyun's behavior but now it all started to come together.