Winter 2015

Practice ended, the boys having discussed a plan of attack with Jimin during every break. It had been agreed upon that he shouldn't give up, and that he ought to pursue Yoongi, despite the initial rejection, and that they would somehow convince Jin to participate. In spite of this decision, however, Jimin found himself plodding behind Minseok, into the elder's apartment, too curious to tell him that he no longer needed help.

"Heya Baozi."

"Lu-ge!" Minseok squealed.

Jimin glanced up in the midst of removing his shoes, surprised to see a man enter the room, headed towards Minseok. He was even more taken aback by how pretty the guy was, easily surpassing the beauty of most girls, and even more so when he pulled Minseok in for a quick peck before turning towards the astounded Jimin. He had never seen Minseok light up the way he did the moment this man walked in.

"Oh, and you must be the one Minseok mentioned. Welcome, my name is Lu Han," he smiled warmly and offered his hand, which Jimin accepted, still in shock. "Are you okay?" Lu asked, peering more closely at Jimin's bewildered face. Realizing he was being rude, Jimin shooked his head and smiled.

“Sorry. Yes, I'm fine. Long day," he only partially lied, "Park Jimin, nice to meet you.” Lu nodded, a sympathetic look on his face. There was something about him that was slightly off, but Jimin couldn't quite put his finger on what it was. His name, the way he looked, even his speech…

“Oh. Excuse me, but, are you Korean?” he blurted, finally realizing what it was. Lu laughed, surprised.

“No, I'm Chinese. Is it that obvious?” Jimin quickly shook his head.

“No, no. You just didn't look quite Korean, and your name didn't seem it either. Don't worry, your Korean is actually quite good,” he smiled, embarrassed for having asked, but relieved that he had been correct.

“Ah, I see. Well, thanks,” Lu smiled, then turned to Minseok, who had silently blended into the background, as he so often did. “I have to head out, my flight is in an hour.” Minseok nodded, pulling him in for a hug and a longer kiss before seeing him out the door.

After Lu was gone, Minseok guided Jimin into the kitchen, offering him a seat at the island. The room was spacious and well lit, with curious contraptions crowding the back counter that Jimin could only guess the purpose for.

“Would you care for some coffee?” Minseok asked, brightening unexpectedly.

“Uhm, sure…”

“What would you like?”

“What can you make?"

“Mostly anything,” Minseok spread his arms, smiling invitingly. “I've been training to be a barista, as I someday want to own my own cafe, and my mentor gifted me with a hand drip machine recently,” Minseok beamed. Jimin had never seen him so... confident. Vibrant.

"Well, I usually order a caramel macchiato... are you able to make that sort of thing? I actually have no idea how most drinks are made," Jimin rubbed the back of his neck, unsure of the process or how difficult his request was. He didn’t want to be a burden.

"Definitely," Minseok grinned, and turned around, immediately beginning to pull out syrups and coffee beans, and messing with the contraptions Jimin now assumed would produce the drink.

"So, can I ask what exactly happened?" Jimin looked up from his preoccupation of staring at everything in fascination, only to find that Minseok still had his back to him, working diligently. "I caught a little of the end of the conversation, but not the entire thing." Minseok paused and turned, "Ah, but, you don't have to share if you aren't comfortable with it."

"No... I don't mind," Jimin smiled shyly. He found himself wanting to be closer to this bright hyung. He was more comfortable and friendly than Jimin had anticipated.

Taking a deep breath, Jimin began, "So, there's this cafe I always go to..."

Jimin watched Minseok work as he spoke, the smell of the espresso filling the air, and the elder nodding here and there, occasionally glancing back. Jimin’s ears went a little hot when he caught the elder smiling knowingly as he finished describing Yoongi.

As he came to the end of the short narrative, he looked down, melancholy, "I-I didn't know what to do. He just flat out rejected me... I've always dreamed of finding my soulmate. Everyone does... so I just left. Picked up my stuff and walked out the door," Jimin sighed, dropping his head into his hands. "Maybe that's cowardly, but I didn't know what else to do, and I couldn't stay with him so close... yet so far."

Minseok placed a steaming mug in front of him, nodding.

"I understand," he looked down, smiling wryly at his mug as Jimin took a sip from his own. "I ran away from my soulmate at first, actually."

"Why?" Jimin was surprised. Minseok didn't seem the type to run from it, especially after seeing him with Lu.  "Was it Lu Han?" he added, because if it wasn't, that would certainly explain it.

"Yes, it was-” Well, there goes that theory- “And because I was afraid." Minseok pulled up a chair for himself and sat opposite Jimin, blowing on the hot liquid in his cup before taking a sip and continuing. "As you figured out, Lu is Chinese. It's uncommon to have a soulmate from another country, but it happens, and I found myself frozen in time at a movie premiere in China. I was just visiting Yixing, he still lived there at the time, and the moment I saw Lu, I thought, Ah, well, fate hates me. I can't be with this guy, " Minseok chuckled and glanced down at his cup before looking back at Jimin, another wry smile on his face. "Lu is famous in China. He's an actor and a singer, and I had the misfortune of seeing him for the first time while he was on the red carpet, at the premiere of a movie he was in. " Jimin's jaw dropped in wonder and sympathetic horror. "I doubted he would ever even see me in that crowd. I wasn't sure I wanted him to either."

"Why?" Jimin asked as Minseok paused to take another sip. Placing his mug back on the counter, Minseok looked at the ceiling, as if the answer could be found there.

"Well... as I'm sure you've noticed, I don't tend towards the spotlight. Lu is a celebrity. That's a very big spotlight, and I knew if I became involved with him, I would probably be dragged into it as well, and also lose a lot of privacy." Minseok shrugged, "I didn't want that. And I wasn't exactly a fan of the soulmate system either. So. I thought it all through, in my little frozen moment, and I decided to let him go, without trying to grab his attention. I unfroze time and just continued as I had been, going through the evening as if nothing happened, enjoying the movie, then returning to Yixing's place, never mentioning it to him. I was a bit disappointed, but I felt I had made the right choice." Jimin nodded, sipping the rich coffee as he listened, absorbed in the story.

"But, just like everything else, that didn't go as planned. As I was preparing for bed that night, I found a note in my pocket," Minseok's lips pulled up at the corners, a slight smile playing across them. "It was in Chinese, which I wasn't very good at at the time, especially reading it, so I had to go have Yixing read it for me. Oh, his response was golden," the corner of Minseok’s eyes crinkled as he laughed fondly at the memory. He has a cute smile , Jimin noted, still absorbed. "It simply said, 'I saw you,' Lu's phone number, and his name. Yixing flipped. He of course recognized the name, and immediately began questioning me. So, I admitted what had happened, and begged him for some advice, explaining why I had avoided it to begin with," Minseok leaned back in his chair, once again staring at the ceiling, wry smile twisting even further. "He convinced me to text Lu."

"We agreed to meet up for coffee, in secret of course, as he couldn't be seen in public with some random guy. So, we met up, talked, and in the end, I told him I didn't want to be together. He understood why, but begged me to at least be friends, as he had so few outside of work, being in the entertainment industry. Eventually, I agreed, but warned him that I lived in Korea, so hanging out wouldn't be a frequent thing. He accepted that, and we went our separate ways," Minseok paused here, taking a long drink from his coffee and seeming to be debating how to explain the rest while Jimin waited patiently.

"After that... it was a long time before I saw him again. But, he started texting me frequently, whenever he needed someone to talk to. I didn't mind, and began doing the same.We got along well, and quickly became close friends, even occasionally seeing each other if ever we were in the same country. But, it was always as friends, and we were content that way," Minseok once again stopped, tilting his head back and closing his eyes.

"Then one day, it hit me. Someone had convinced me to go on a double date, and my date was nice, but I found myself wishing it was Lu and his playful personality the whole time; he’s quite dazzling, really. He always has over-proportional reactions to everything, it’s- ah, well, anyway, I came home that evening, and as I contemplated everything, I suddenly couldn't understand why I was still running. I already knew he was my soulmate, and he had also become my best friend."

"I called him right then. I lied and said I had plans to be in China soon, and we agreed to meet up. I booked a flight after the call," Minseok chuckled. "I had him meet me at our favorite cafe, and I confessed right there, telling him what a fool I had been. God, I love him so much. I was afraid he might reject me, but he just pulled me in and hugged me, and he cried, and we laughed, and decided we would somehow make it work." Minseok looked at Jimin, a triumphant look on his face.

"And we did. But, anyway, the reason I'm telling you all this is because I was Yoongi, and if Lu had come on more strongly right away, I probably would have pushed him away, because I was already set in my decision."

Oh. I came on too strong… Jimin felt his ears warm up as he looked down, unsure what to say.

As if able to read his thoughts, Minseok jumped up, quickly adding, "Ah, I don't mean you already have! It sounds like you handled it really well, actually. But, I think, in future pursuits... perhaps try easing into it? He sounds pretty set on not looking for a soulmate, so yeah, friendship is a good place to start..." Minseok hesitated before carefully adding the next part, "But, you can't expect anything from him, either. Should you choose to invite him into your life as a friend, you can't expect anything more than that. It may develop into something more, but there's a chance that it won't. Be prepared for either outcome," Minseok finished gently, and Jimin could feel him watching carefully as he fiddled with the now empty mug in his hands. He slowly nodded, considering all he had just heard. Minseok placed his elbows on the counter, resting his chin on his hands, apparently suddenly remembering the unique element of Jimin's situation.

"I'm not sure what to tell you about him not experiencing the time freeze, as I've never heard of that happening either, but my guess would be that he did experience it, just maybe not right then. Think about it, Lu could have easily not seen me that night, and he would never know that time froze for me. Your Min Yoongi probably saw you, it just may have been a long time ago." Minseok twisted his lips to one side, "Who knows."

"I guess you're right," Jimin said slowly, looking up at Minseok, and for once it was his mouth that curved into a wry smile. "I guess I have a lot to think about."

"Sorry for lying that all on you like that," Minseok said guiltily. "I just figured my own experience might be helpful for you to hear."

Jimin shook his head, reassuring the elder, "Don't worry, I appreciate it. It's a lot to think about, but it definitely is helpful."

"I'm glad to hear that. If you ever need anything else, know that you're always welcome to ask," Minseok replied kindly as he stood up to take Jimin's empty cup and place it in the sink, along with his own.

"Thanks, hyung," Jimin smiled back gratefully.

***

Dropping onto his bed later that night, Jimin sighed, covering his face with his hands. He and Minseok had continued talking for a while after the soulmate discussion, but he eventually had to leave, as it was getting late. Now, as he was lying in bed, he couldn't stop thinking about the pale face that had been the cause of all of this. He couldn't decide the best way to tackle the problem; head on, as was the original plan, or more subtly, as Minseok had suggested. Minseok's idea about being friends seemed more likely to work, especially with what he had seen of Yoongi, but Jimin knew his own personality tended to come on a bit strong. The only conclusion he could seem to come to was to sleep on it and figure it out the next day. Thoroughly exhausted, he tried to fall asleep.

The curves of Yoongi's eyes, his soft milky skin, the way his hair fell just barely above his eyes... Jimin's breath caught at the unbidden image and he could feel his heartbeat accelerating. His mind seemed to have plans other than sleep.

Damnit Yoongi. And why do I always drink coffee so late? What am I thinking? And how the heck does Minseok sleep? Between the coffee and the Yoongi, Jimin eventually accepted that he would not be getting sleep any time soon, and hoisted himself out of bed, wandering to a different room.

Opening the door, he stepped onto the cool wooden floor inside, glancing at his tired reflection in the wall of mirrors to his right. Outfitted with large speakers in every corner, and a new stereo system, Jimin had created his own mini dance studio for himself. It was his sanctuary, a place for him to destress, find peace, and escape his thoughts.

Padding up to the stereo, he popped in the disc of music they were currently working on at Hoseok's studio, and closed his eyes as music filled the room. Stepping to the center of the room, he looked at himself in the mirror, taking a deep breath.

Then he began, losing himself to the rhythm and the fluid movement of his body.