I think the routine here is doing me good. Unlike at SM, the people in charge here seem to really care about our health. My... Commanding Officer? is making me have weekly check ups with an army doctor. They'd both wanted me to talk with a shrink, but again, I refused. I've been gaining a little weight. With the food they're giving me, I'm not surprised. And, maybe it's the fact that I'm physically exhausting myself with all the drills, but I'm sleeping better too.

I have another month here at the base, and then I'll get my assignment. A lot of the guys I'm bunking with will be going on for more training, to be real soldiers, but I've been told by some higher-ups that I'm likely to get bumped into some rural town police force.

"Idols are too 'valuable' to risk their lives." were one's sarcastic words. I'd feel offended, but honestly I'm a bit glad. There's nothing bad about being a soldier. In another life, maybe I'd enjoy it myself. But that's not the life I want myself.

Love you always,

Jonghyun

This morning when I woke... For the first time in... Longer than I can remember, my first thought wasn't about you, Kibum. I have some fitness obstacle course/ test coming up, and I woke up worrying about it. I rolled over to start talking to you about it, and that's when I remembered where I was, and... Where you are.

Ever since your accident, I've woken up worried about you, wondering if you were okay and when I'd get to see you. But this morning, was like old times. Back at the dorms having our morning talk before getting up for breakfast. I'm still not sure how I feel about this.

I was kind of out of it all day. On the one hand, I was distracted by this morning, wondering what it could mean. On the other, it felt like... Like I was re-learning how to use my own body. Everything was too loud, too bright, too... Too much. I don't know how I didn't have a breakdown during the day. A few of the guys noticed, and asked me if I was okay... But nothing much came from their concern.

Whatever's going on, I hope it means that I'm getting better.

Only a few more weeks of training, and then it's off to whatever small-town cop-shop they've picked out for me.

I'll love you always Kibummie.

Jonghyun