Kibum... I could really use you by my side tonight. I took Roo to the vet, and she's very sick. They didn't know for sure what was wrong when I took her in, so she's staying there for the next few days so they can get all the tests doen. I don't need tests to tell me it's bad.

I think she's dying. ... I shouldn't be surprised, I guess. She is rather old... But loosing her now hurts.

Manager-hyung called me into his office today. He told me I have three choices. First, I can go to my enlistment; since I'm not doing anything around SM I might as well get it out of the way. Second, I start talking to a therapist, get on meds or whatever, and get back to work. Or third... I leave SM Entertainment.

I talked to Amber... She said leaving SM wasn't even an option. Not only would I lose access to your hospital room, as it's restricted to Idols and agency staff, but it would aslo be a breach of contract. I'd get sued, SHINee would be disbanded, and you'd be thrown onto the streets because you can't sign a new agency contract and SM would no longer hold any sort of responsibility towards you.

It sounds strange... But I wish I had a second you, someone to talk to who would point me in the right direction. Amber wouldn't give me any advice on what I should do. She told me that it was up to me to decide. I know I can't leave SM. No matter what, I can't give them reason to let go of you. So it's a choice between leaving your side for two years, or taking pills and letting a stranger into my head...

Love you always.

Jonghyun

And now Jonghyun is faced with a choice... I'm sorry. Don't hate me!!

-Jordan