SM announced today that until further notice, SHINee is on hiatus. No new albums, no concerts, no nothing. I looked at my Twitter after the announcement, and the fans are all in an uproar. They think that we're disbanding, that SHINee is over. Done. Gone. Others wished us all luck or said that they were praying for us. Almost every single tweet ended with #SHINeeFIGHTING. I probably read about thirty of them before it hit me and I started crying.

The fans are worried about you Kibummie. Most of our mail now is get well cards and stuffed animals and flowers. The stuffed animals I put in boxes and into a small storage unit I rented. I don't want to sort them myself, because I know how particular you can be, so I'm saving them until you get back. Most of the flowers stay here, but every day I bring you new ones for your room.

I'm only allowed to visit you for a few minutes while you're sleeping. After the last time I came, when you flipped out on me, screaming that I was a stranger and that you didn't know me... The doctors said that they thought you would recover if I wasn't there. But that doesn't mean I don't come and see you every day. I even sleep at the hospital most nights, on the off chance I might get to visit you when you're awake.

Love you always.

Jonghyun

You visited with Comme Des and Garcon today. I was really happy, since it's been months since they'd gotten to see you. I wasn't allowed to bring them to your room, one of the doctors did. He told me that when they asked you, you said you remembered having dogs. They didn't press you about whether they were Comme or Garcon though. They say that it's better for you to remember things on your own, rather than trying to force it. I don't mind though. At least you're starting to remember, after all this time.

I remember when we moved in together. You were worried about how Comme and Garcon would handle another dog in the house, even though they got along really well with Roo. And I thought it was so funny whe you got so stressed about making room in the closet for my clothes. You spent three days going through every last shirt and pants and sock, agonizing about each choice and whether you should get rid of this or that. And you were constantly grubling about how I was no help and had no fashion sense.

SM doesn't really know what to do with me anymore. I'm not good at faking it like Taemin is. I can't put on a brave face when all I want is to see you. The album that I was working on before you got hurt has been put on hold indefinetly. I can't concentrate on it. I would be singing and then just stop, staring blankly at the wall. At least, that's what I've been told. I can't help it. Since the day we became SHINee, when I sang with you for the first time... Ever since then every note to leave my lips has been for you. It's just not the same when I can't see you with that little smirk that just makes me want to drop everything and kiss you.

Do you remember our first kiss? No, of course not... Sorry. But... It was amazing. We were onstage, doing a concert. You took the towel from around your neck and used it to hide our faces while you quickly pressed our lips together. So short, and sweet... I was really surprised when you pulled away, and I couldn't help grinning like an idiot afterwards. Onew laughed at us for days afterward, but I didn't care. You'd kissed me.

Love you always.

Jonghyun