Day 81

The cold war between Jong Kook hyung and I made me feel uncomfortable, noona. We did have an argument before, but it wasn't this serious. I bet he really hates me for falling in love with you, which means he regretted his decision for asking me to take care of you while he's attending to his other patients. Come to think of it, I don't think it's my fault in the first place. If only he wasn't too busy with his job as a doctor, he could have taken good care of his love ones while I on the other hand - will not develop this feeling towards you. Now it's too late to change anything, isn't it?

As he doesn't seem to welcome me in your room anymore, I've decided to leave you two together and find my own things to do. Sometimes I spent hours in the gym, or dropped by at the cafeteria when Jong Kook was there with you. Though I felt irritated (now that it's harder for me to see you), I can't complaint to hyung as he was still mad at me. But I was really upset when he chose not to tell me that you've awaken this morning, when it's the most important news that's worth sharing. Mianada noona. I really want to be there when you opened your eyes, but I wasn't invited. I happened to hear about it from the nurses who were in charge of your needs, so the only thing I could do was celebrating your return from a distance.

Day 83

Hyung was called back to work, which gave me the opportunity to come and visit you for the first time since you regained conscious. Words can't describe how happy and excited I was when I saw you're awake, though I was sad when you didn't recognized me noona. A doctor informed that you had temporary memory loss which was the side effect of the drug they used for the surgery, so I had to read out your journal page by page to remind you of how we met (I purposely stop before I reach Day 65 as I wasn't comfortable to read what I've written in here). Though you were too weak to respond, I know that you wanted to thank me for what I did.

Forgive me for unable to control my tears when I was with you, noona. I'm just too happy to have you back! I couldn't believe that my prayers have been answered, hence I became overreacted when I gave you that hug. Jinjja.. it was just a brother-sister thing, and not because I'm taking advantage of your situation. I hope you will find your strength to talk again, cause there's so much that I wanted to share with you. Noona.. frankly I miss listening to your voice the first thing in the morning. Since you were in coma, I have no one to inspire me in music and art. It's been a while since I sang a lullaby for you, and I'm glad that I got that chance tonight. Can you remember me now noona? I hope so.

Day 84

Suddenly hyung wanted to have a chat with me, which made me nervous about the things that he wished to say. As we were alone in his office, the first thing he asked was my reason to kiss you. That caught me by surprise - how did he knows that? Could it be that noona told him based on what I read out from the journal? When I pretended to be clueless, hyung became upset and he scowled at me for keeping it as a secret from him. He was actually listening attentively from behind the door when I read out this journal to you, and that's how he found out about everything.

I was stupid to ask him whether he wasn't happy with the incident, because it was obvious that I have crossed the line as a brother. Jong Kook hyung gave a warning not to mess with your memory by trying to get your attention on me, which really offended my feeling when he said that, noona. This is why we hardly get along, as he would always accused me of something that I'd never do towards my own family. If it wasn't because of you, I would have disappeared from him like I used to so he won't be able to blame me or let out his frustration on me anymore. But I'm not going anywhere, noona. Not with your current condition.

Day 87

Today I finally got to hear your voice again. You were talking to Jong Kook hyung, while I (since I'm not welcome there) could only watched you two from behind the door. But that's okay noona. As long as you're recovering, I'm more than happy for you though I wish we can have our first conversation too. I saw Jong Kook hyung's face was beaming again, and I'm glad that he's not giving up on you or his career as a doctor. You're a miracle to him noona. He should thank you for coming back.

I don't know why I have a mix of emotions when he brought up the topic about the wedding plan that you two have been agreeing prior to the surgery. Part of me was happy that you're going to be my sister-in-law soon, but at the same time I was crying in my heart knowing that it's my time to let go of this feeling for you. Well.. we all see it coming, aren't we? I hope my two favourite people will have a beautiful marriage life that last for years, and hyung will no longer look at me as his competitor but as his little brother who loves him so much. I think I should stop writing for you now noona. I'll return this back to its rightful owner so you can start writing about your relationship with hyung, while I'm going to disappear like a shadow when the night comes. Goodbye noona. Be happy with hyung and tell him that I'm sorry for leaving our little family.

Day 90

Kai handed over this book to me three days ago, but I was only able to look at it and finish my reading yesterday (my job as a doctor and taking care of Ji Hyo limit my time to do other stuff). I was surprised to know that it has all the explanations that I need - how Ji Hyo really feels about me, what happened when I wasn't around and why Kai decided to move on. That boy. I didn't know that he was hurt by my words and actions, and I wish he will forgive me for disappointing him as his older brother. I was wrong to blame him for falling in love with my woman, when all these while he sacrificed his feeling so Ji Hyo and I can live happily together.

The whole day I've tried to find my little brother - not just to apologize to him, but I want my only family to be there for the wedding. Yes, Ji Hyo has agreed with the marriage (as she had promised) once she can be released from the hospital. The moment she has regained her memory, that was the first thing that I reminded her. I wasn't going to let this one and only chance to be her lawfully wedded husband be wasted, cause we wouldn't know how much time left we have for each other. As a doctor, I know that cancer can be 'evil'. Sometimes it returns when you least expected, then suddenly it won the battle and a life is gone. NO. I hope it won't happen to my Ji Hyo.. not when I just got her back.

So if you asked me why I still want to marry you despite knowing the consequences, this is my answer. Even if you have 100 days left, I will always be with you. For love.. and our friendship. That's how important you are to me, Song Ji Hyo. My only wish is that after our marriage, we will all live happily together - you, me and our little brother, Kai. I miss him. I hope he'll be home soon.