Day 1

When I first heard about it, I was speechless. I knew my time will come, but I never thought it would be so soon. I can't help from asking "Why? Why me? Why not those people who don't know how to appreciate life?". I spent hours crying on my way home and on my bed until there's no more tear to shed. Memories of my life began to fill my thought. I was a happy person before I knew about my condition. I was never afraid to do things that others would think twice such as bungee jumping from the tallest building in the world or tried anything extreme for typical women. But that was all in the past.

Since Dr. Kim broke the news about my bone cancer, my whole world stop spinning. At first I refused to believe him. Maybe he's just saying it to make more money out of a poor lady like me. Or maybe he wants me to visit him regularly (well I can't help but to notice the way he looked at me everytime our eyes met). However when my own physical betrayed me, I knew that it was for real. My perspective about life gradually changed, and so am I. Knowing that you have less than three months left to survive made me appreciate every single day of living, and I celebrated it by capturing the moment in this journal.

Day 4

Today I went for my regular appointment with Dr. Kim. But instead of just getting my treatment, I went there to break the bad news. I told him that I couldn't proceed with this anymore, so he gave me a 'what-did-you-say' look and kept asking why. He even threatened that if I stop seeking treatment, my time on earth will be shorter. I guess it's not a surprise to me anymore, because I wasn't sad to hear it. Honestly I was ashamed to let him know my real reason for that decision, but this guy was so stubborn. He told me to meet him at a park near to the hospital after his work done, and so I agreed.

About five minutes to 6pm, he approached me at the bench with two hot drinks in his hands. Seeing Dr. Kim without his official work attire was slightly strange for me, but in a nice way. He seems like a typical man, with good looking face and a sweet smile (wait a minute.. what was I thinking?). I thanked him for the drink after I greeted him formally, but he insisted that I should address him by his name. It was weird at first, but after few rounds of talking I was comfortable enough to call him Jong Kook oppa (since he's older than me).

As agreed, I told him about my real situation that led me to stop seeking for treatment. Since I was diagnosed with bone cancer, I was 'asked' to quit my job and therefore my savings are just enough to keep me going for at least another half-year (if I'm still alive for that long). No one would hire a woman who has not much time left on earth, and given my weak condition, I need to be picky about the job that I can do. I saw the sadness in his eyes when I spoke about my life story, and he surprised me with a hug. I don't know why I cried on his shoulder, but that's what I did when he offered me a 'shelter'.

Day 7

Today I moved in with Jong Kook oppa as his 'housekeeper', and I was introduced to his family (not formally, but via potrait of the Kims) who happened to be similar to mine. I learned that we both are orphans, except he has a younger brother while I'm the only child for my parents. Because Kai (nickname for his dongsaeng) hardly came home, he needed someone to look after his place as he always worked till late and sometimes slept at the hospital. There are three rooms altogether, of which mine is in between the brothers.

Before he went to work, Jong Kook kept reminding me not to stress myself and leave the hard work to his brother when he came back. I told him that I feel 'bad' for staying and not doing my job properly, but ended up getting a 'lecture' from my handsome doctor (okay, I need to stop saying that!) as he didn't want me to overdo things which is not good for my health. A doctor will always be a doctor! It's annoying, but I know that he did it because he was worried. How sweet of him!

Day 9

I was alone in the apartment when I heard the front door open. I quickly stepped out from my room to greet that person (thinking that it was Jong Kook oppa), but then a young man was startled by my presence and shouted angrily at me as if I'm an intruder. Fortunately I recognized his face, so I didn't hit him at his 'weak spot' (my typical reflex whenever I sense danger) and introduced myself as the housekeeper of the apartment to Kai. Without any concrete evidence he refused to believe in me, so I had to give Jong Kook oppa a phone call just to validate my story. What a difficult boy he is!

Once my status in that place is confirmed, Kai began to play his role as 'Master of the House'. He sent me to clean up the table after he ate, then instructed me to make a drink for him. I swore if he wasn't Jong Kook's brother, I would have teached this young man some manners! How dare he ordered me around when Jong Kook oppa himself wouldn't allow me to work that hard. But since my 'angel' is not around to protect me, I had to survive on my own despite my body was in great pain. Fortunately I have my pills to help me battle this sickness. Otherwise, I might have to bid farewell to that rascal.

Day 10

As I was too tired from all the hard work yesterday (thanks to that Kai for turning me into his slave!), I didn't realize that Jong Kook was back. The sound of men arguing at the living room had awaken me from my deep sleep (it's already 10am when I got up from my bed), so I tiptoed to the door and took a peek at what's going on between the Kim brothers. It seems like Jong Kook was scolding Kai for what he did to me (he mentioned something about me looking pale and tired.. I think?), so I quickly interrupted their argument when Kai began to blame his brother for 'not being around when he needs him'.

The moment he saw my face, Kai barged out from the apartment and ignored his brother who was calling for him. I knew that Kai was mad at me, probably because Jong Kook oppa was defending me most of the time. I told my angel to give his dongsaeng some space to cool off, but he suddenly wrapped me tightly in his arms. I was confused by his reaction, however I took it positively and assumed that he felt guilty on behalf of Kai. Jong Kook said that he forgot to mention about my illness to his brother and quickly apologized, but I asked him to keep it that way (not to say anything about my bone cancer to Kai) as I don't want him to feel sorry for me. Let's see how it goes.