My mother was coming over for brunch one Saturday, meaning she was coming to talk. Our best conversations were over special meals, and for this occasion, I was making my Spinach lasagna. Needless to say, I had a hunch on the topic of conversation that would take place, but there was more depth in the details that she didn't know.

As time went by, I continued to strive to be that caring girlfriend that Hoseok needed. But I was beginning to see another side to him that I hoped would only last as long as this 'phase'. I watched his obsession with going back to Afghanistan and his hatred for the people there grow. He was constantly reading their news on his laptop while we watched a movie together. Or he'd call his First Sergeant and argue that he needed to be on that next deployment if not sooner. His mind was always 'out there' and never next to me.

Then came the mood swings whenever he randomly saw something that triggered a memory. He'd turn stone cold and remain angry and unpleasant to be around. I hate to admit that my love for this person was fading. I wanted to stick it out as I had hoped to see some kind of improvement in time, but it just got uglier. And then I was getting tired, bitter and unexcited to see him; but I felt as though I owed him.

The kitchen timer rang, I had to take out the lasagna and let it cool. My mother must have smelt it from downstairs as I instantly heard a knock on the door. She surprised me with lovely flowers for our brunch and I immediately added them to our table. I love my mother dearly as you already know, and when she spoke her wise words it was best to heed to them. Though as I predicted, her worried mind didn't stay mute for much longer.

"How have you been, sweetie?" she began.

"Well not to toot my own horn, but there are a lot of requests for my raspberry white chocolate and lemon cheesecake at the restaurant," I smiled, avoiding the obvious.

"That's lovely honey. I'm so proud of you for doing so well. But I worry for you every night. You look so tired every time I see you and I know it's not just from work," she said squeezing my hand on the table.

"Mom, I don't think I can do it anymore," I broke out of my thin shell and wept.

"Hun, no one is expecting you to be the hero and save him. We are all grieving over what's been happening. But you are my daughter and I want what's best for you. And I believe this relationship is doing more harm than good."

"I would feel horrible to abandon him, mom."

"You're not abandoning him. He will always have you around. We are his family and we will be here for him. But right now his destructive thoughts are only wearing on you…I spoke with Yoongi and apparently everyone at your work agrees; you're not the same Iseul. It's affecting you now too."

I hadn't noticed that I too was being 'affected'? I guess it took an outsider to make me realize that, and if it was going to be anyone to tell me it had to be my mother, or else I'd get defensive about it.

"So you think it’s okay that I break up with him?"

"Honestly, I encourage it."

"You don't think that would make it worse?"

"A little time and space will take care of that," she assured me.

I decided to go pay Hoseok a visit the next day. Now that I felt less obligated to this unhappy relationship I saw no reason to delay the inevitable, as cruel as that may sound. I updated Suran on every possible detail you could imagine between Hoseok and I; including the missing puzzle pieces of Jungkook. She insisted on coming with me. You wouldn’t believe the relief of her loyalty and support for me regardless the fact that Hoseok was still her uncle.

We met up with Jimin at the camp and Suran stayed with him while I met up with Hoseok; I was supposed to meet him in the cafeteria. There were a couple of Marines inside, so I thought maybe a walk would be a better option. I heard some more guys coming and was struck with disgust by their vulgar speech. I couldn't wait to see the creep that spoke like that. Disappointment doesn't begin to describe my feelings as I witnessed Hoseok lead the pack.

He sat next to me like nothing; he didn't even notice my discomfort. I didn't recognize this person and I didn't know how to go about this breakup. To make matters worse, I committed the greatest mistake by starting with the words that I chose.

"Hoseok, we need to talk."

Hoseok's face turned to stone. His eyes squinted and his lips pressed together hard. I suggested that we take a walk outside but was stunned when he nodded and rudely motioned for me to continue as he took a seat.

"I don't know who you are anymore, Hoseok. I want to be here for you but …I'm just not happy."

"So you think the moment you’re unhappy in a relationship you should just give up because you’re meant to be in a constant state of 'happiness'?" he argued.

"It's not just that, it's a few things."

"No, I get it. I know I've been distant and I haven’t catered to you like I did before. But you will never understand what goes through my mind 24/7. I close my eyes and I see those …those…-ups, and all I wanna see is every single one of them die! They're s! I'll do whatever it takes for them to just send me back… and I will kill them… all of them."

My eyes swelled as I heard him and saw the fire in his lost eyes again. He was long gone and I didn't have the strength for the both of us anymore.

"I think we need to take a break," I spoke softly a bit terrified.

"I'll do you a favor and leave now," Hoseok finished and got up.

"Hoseok. Hoseok!" I said repeatedly.

He continued to walk outside. I wanted to leave things better than this. It seemed that whatever I said as an explanation was a coward excuse to him. I ran after Hoseok and touched his arm but he swung it away.

"Just leave, Iseul! Looking at you is only making me angrier."

"I'm sorry Hoseok," I said lowly, though I didn’t think he heard me.

"Why are you so angry?"

"You'd never understand."

Hoseok saved me from my break up with Jungkook, but now who would save me from my break up with him? I was relieved and regretful at the same time. I wanted to believe what I did was right and necessary but it didn't change my feelings. I refused to talk to anyone about it for the moment, except for Suran. She even offered to stay with me for a few days, but I wanted to be alone for a while.

I must say I enjoyed having my place; no one to bother me. Instead of showing up to work with a pitiful countenance I made sure to act like things were better than okay. It was the safest way to avoid unwanted conversations and questions. Yoongi, on the other hand, could never be fooled. And although he played along for a while he later made sure to corner me in private. Only this time I stuck to my story and said that Hoseok and I had ended things peaceably.

Slowly but surely I regained my strength and peace with the passing weeks. All I needed was a new sense of inspiration. Maybe I was starting to develop a 'wild' or 'free' spirit, but falling into a routine seemed more and more unsatisfying to me.

Granted, months turned into a year and I had made quite the name for myself. My mother even challenged me to the idea of opening my own bakery in the future. With that crazy idea in mind, I proceeded to further my degree in a broader culinary program. What was sto