OF RUNNING IN DREAMS
BY blackemolover

❝ IN WHICH NINE PEOPLE WHO SILENTLY SUFFER EVERYDAY GETS A CHANCE TO DO WHATEVER THEY WANT AFTER ONE SUICIDE. MAYBE IT'S A DREAM WHERE THEY ALLL GET TO PLAY TOGETHER, MAYBE THEY'RE REALLY JUST TRAPPED. ❞ > TITLE [5/5] THE TITLE IS PERFECT. LIKE, LITERALLY. ITS SO MYSTERIOUS, GIVING OFF A VIBE THAT LEADS YOU TO BE CURIOUS, AND IT'S ALSO VERY UNIQUE AND DIFFERENT, AS IN NOT MANY CAN COME ACROSS AFF TITLES LIKE THOSE. SO I APPRAISE YOU ON THAT, DEFINITELY A TITLE I WOULD CLICK ON WHEN I SCROLL THROUGH THE AFF TAG. I LOVE IT, REALLY. DID I MENTION THAT THE TITLE IS SO AESTHETIC, TOO? ALSO, I SPOTTED YOU PERFECTLY WRITTEN THE TITLE, FULFILLING A TITLE'S RULES, (THE CAPITALIZATION) AND I'M GLAD YOU PAID ATTENTION TO TINY DETAILS LIKE THAT, AND IT'S BEAUTIFUL. I CAN'T THINK OF ANY BETTER TITLES EITHER FOR THE STORY YOU ARE WRITING RIGHT NOW, AND WELL THAT'S A GOOD THING BECAUSE IN MY MIND, YOUR TITLE IS THE BEST FOR THE STORY., 
  > DESCRIPTION/FOREWORD [7/10] I ENJOYED THE FACT THAT YOU WROTE THAT DESCRIPTION IN A SUCH BEAUTIFUL AND ELEGANT WAY. THE CHOICE OF WORDS THAT YOU USED IS VERY IMPRESSIVE, AND IT LED ME TO QUESTION EVEN MORE ABOUT WHAT'S INSIDE THE STORY. HOW DOES ONE RUN IN A DREAM? WHAT PAIN ARE THEY FACING? WHAT MADE THEM HAVE SUCH A TIGHT BOND WITH EACH OTHER? THOSE QUESTIONS FORTUNATELY APPEARED AND POPPED OUT IN MY HEAD, AND I CAN ASSURE YOU IT DOES ON OTHERS, TOO. WHICH IS GREAT, BECAUSE THE QUESTIONS THAT THE READERS CAME UP WITH WILL LEAD THEM TO READ YOUR STORY, TO ANSWER THEIR CURIOSITY. THE FLAW THAT I SPOTTED, THOUGH. I DON'T THINK THAT THE QUOTE YOU USED: WE DIDN'T KNOW ANYTHING. WE WERE YOUNG, RECKLESS AND YET IT WAS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL MOMENT IN OUR LIVES. MATCHED MUCH WITH THE DESCRIPTION WRITTEN UNDERNEATH IT. IF IT WAS A BEAUTIFUL MOMENT IN THEIR LIVES, WHY WOULD THEY PERCEIVE THAT QUIETLY HOLDING THEIR SUFFERINGS IN, BEARING THEIR OWN PAINS, ARE BEAUTIFUL? AND IT WAS DESCRIBED THAT THEY HAVE KNOWN EACH OTHER FOR QUITE SOME TIME, AT THE VERY LEAST. BUT THE QUOTE LEANED ON TO THE DESCRIPTION OF ONE CERTAIN EVENT, ONE CERTAIN TIME. AND THERE WAS NO CERTAIN EXPLANATION ON WHAT 'THAT CERTAIN TIME' WAS. WAS IT ALL ALONG THEIR FRIENDSHIP? OR BY THE TIME THEY FOLLOWED NARA'S PATH? IF I COMPREHENDED THIS WRONG, THEN PLEASE ELABORATE ON THAT SECTION TO MAKE IT CLEARER FOR BOTH ME AND THE READERS. OVERALL AFTER THAT, ALL THOSE LOOKS FINE. NO GRAMMAR MISTAKES, JUST TINY BIT OF MIS-SPACING. BUT WELL, NO ONE REALLY PAYS ATTENTION TO SUCH A CLOSE DETAIL SO WE COULD LET IT GO. AND, THE DESCRIPTION AND FOREWORD IS REALLY NICE, LOOKING FORWARD ON HOW YOU WILL WRITE THEM ON FURTHER STORIES!
> STORY PLOT [20/30] THE PLOT IS NICE, BUT I CAN'T SAT IT'S GREAT. SO FAR, I COULDN'T COMPREHEND MUCH DUE TO THE SMALL AMOUNT OF CHAPTERS. THE PLOT IS INDEED VERY HEAVY AND DEPRESSING TO READ, BUT IT IS SOMETHING TO BE CURIOUS ABOUT BECAUSE WHY DOES A SEEMINGLY PERFECT LIFE FOR THE PRINCESS MADE HER SO HATEFUL? THE PLOT ITSELF THAT WAS PLANNED IS CREATIVE AND NICE. IT WAS NEW, ON HOW NARA WANTED TO FIND THE COLORS IN HER LIFE, WHAT WILL BE THE ROLE TO FILL THE EMPTY HOLE INSIDE HER. BUT WHAT DOES THAT RELATE TO THE TITLE? WAS THE FIRST QUESTION THAT CAME UP IN MY MIND. FOR THE FIRST CHAPTER, (NOT THE PROLOGUE), I WAS HOPING TO GET AT LEAST A SHORT EXPLANATION ABOUT THE TITLE YOU HAD. BUT, IT LED ME TO EVEN MORE QUESTIONS. SURE, CURIOSITY PLAYS A BIG PART ON A STORY, HOW A READER WANTS TO KNOW MORE ABOUT HOW IT GOES AND WHAT ARE THE ANSWERS TO THE QUESTIONS THAT THEY HAD CAME UP WITH. BUT HAVING TOO MANY QUESTIONS AT ONCE COULD BE TIRING. THEY WOULD TRY TO ANSWER SO MANY QUESTIONS, AND MOST LIKELY TO FORGET THOSE CURIOSITY SOON AFTER. SO I PREFER YOU TO WRITE  AT THE VERY LEAST ONE DESCRIPTION OR EXPLANATION ABOUT THE CURIOSITY YOU HAVE DEVELOPED EARLIER, BEFORE COMING UP WITH NEW ONES, YEAH? SOME PARTS LEFT ME CONFUSED. FOR INSTANCES, WHAT DOES NARA SEE IN PEOPLE THAT MADE THEM MONSTERS? THEIR ATTITUDE? WHAT MAKES HER SO DIFFERENT FROM THE OTHERS? DOES SHE NOT HAVE PUBERTY, TOO? WHAT MAKES HER SO SURE THAT IT'S NOT HER WHO'S BECOMING THE MONSTER INSTEAD OF THEM? WHAT MAKES HER SUCH A SPECIAL PERSON? IS IT BECAUSE SHE'S THE ONLY DEPRESSED, LONELY ONE IN THE UNIVERSE? SEE, VERY MANY QUESTIONS NEEDED TO BE ANSWERED IN JUST A PARAGRAPH OF DESCRIPTI