ANOTHER

❝ FOLLOWING A TRAGIC ACCIDENT, TWO STRANGERS, SONG HYUNA AND CHA EUNJUNG BECAME FRIENDS. BUT WHEN HYUNA GETS CLOSER TO KAI, EUNJUNG'S FORMER BOYFRIEND, THEIR HEART-WHOLE FRIENDSHIP WAS PUT INTO A TEST. AND IT GOT TO THE POINT WHERE HYUNA WAS DREADED TO BED. ❞
 
> TITLE [3/5] FIRST THINGS FIRST, I THINK THAT THE TITLE 'ANOTHER' DOMINATE AN ARE THAT IS TOO BROAD. AS IN, THERE'S A LOT OF POSSIBILITIES ON WHAT 'ANOTHER' MEANT. IS IT ANOTHER LOVE? ANOTHER LIFE? FATE, DESTINY, PERSON? YES, I UNDERSTAND THAT PICKING UP CURIOSITY IS NICE BUT HAVING YOUR TITLE COVERING AN UNCERTAIN TOPIC BECAUSE IT COVERS UP MANY IDEAS MAY NOT MAKE THE READERS CURIOUS. I SUGGEST ON ADDING ONE OR TWO MORE WORDS TO THE TITLE, TO ADD DETAILS FOR IT. FOR EXAMPLE THE STORY WAS ABOUT LOVE, THEN USE 'ANOTHER LOVE'. THAT WAY, IT'LL BE EASIER FOR THE READERS TO GET ON WHAT YOU'RE PLANNING TO WRITE. THE TITLE IS IMPORTANT FOR A STORY, THEREFORE TO HAVE A SHORT, CONCISE TITLE IS VERY IMPORTANT. YOUR TITLE IS SHORT, YES. BUT IT WASN'T CONCISE. IT DIDN'T GIVE A PROPER AND CLEAR IMAGE ON WHAT YOU'RE PLANNING TO NARRATE AND WRITE ABOUT ON YOUR STORY, AND IT MAY ALSO LEAD TO MISLEADING TITLES, AND MANY OTHER POSSIBILITIES.  BUT ANYHOW, THE FACT THAT YOU KEPT THE TITLE SIMPLE, WITHOUT ANY TYPOS NOR MISTAKES IS A GOOD THING. I ALSO CAN'T SEE ANY EXCESSIVENESS OF CUTESY NOR DRAMATIC EFFECTS THAT'S WRITTEN ON THE TITLE SO, THAT'S GOOD. I JUST THINK YOU NEED TO NARROW THE WHOLE IDEA TO A WORD, ADDING IT WITH THE CURRENT TITLE AND YOU'LL BE FINE.   > DESCRIPTION/FOREWORD [8/10]

I LIKED THE LAYOUT, ITS REALLY PRETTY.  COUGHS. ANYWAY, I LIKE HOW YOU WROTE A FLASHBACK SCENE ON HOW THE TWO FIRST MET AND BECAME BEST FRIENDS. I FIND IT REALLY CUTE AND INTERESTING, AND ITS REALLY AMUSING AND FLATTERING TO SEE HOW A STRONG FRIENDSHIP COULD GROW SO MUCH, AND IRONICALLY THROUGH AN ACCIDENT, WHICH IS VERY IMPRESSIVE. THOUGH I MUST SAY, THE FOREWORD YOU HAVE WRITTEN, IT GOT ME WONDERING ON WHICH PART DOES IT SUPPORT YOUR TITLE. LET'S START FROM THE DESCRIPTION YOU HAD AT THE FIRST SECTION. YOU MENTIONED ON HOW CONFLICTED HYUNA WAS. HOW DOES IT RELATE TO THE WORD ANOTHER? MOVING ON TO THE SECOND SECTION, IN THE ARTICLE OR TEXT SECTION, IT EXPLAINS ABOUT HOW THEIR FRIENDSHIP WAS FIRST CREATED. HOW DOES IT RELATE TO ANOTHER? ANOTHER FRIEND? ANOTHER EXPERIENCE?  SINCE IT MAY LEAD TO LOTS OF CONFUSION AND QUESTIONS, I SUGGEST YOU ADD DETAILS (NON SPECIFIED ONES, JUST THE MAIN DETAIL AND IDEA) ON WHAT THE TEXT REFERRED TO THE TITLE: ANOTHER. SINCE, THE DESCRIPTION AND FOREWORD NOT ONLY EXPLAINS ABOUT THE MAIN IDEA OF THE STORY, IT SHOULD ALSO SUPPORT THE STORY'S TITLE. IT'S LIKE A SHORT ELABORATION FROM THE TITLE, THEREFORE THE TITLE AND DESCRIPTION/FOREWORD SHOULD HAVE A CONNECTION AND SHOULD MAKE SENSE.   > STORY PLOT [15/30] FRANKLY SPEAKING, IT'S HARD TO COMPREHEND ON WHAT PLOT YOU'RE PLANNING TO WRITE ABOUT THE STORY IN THE SPAN OF TWO CHAPTERS, SINCE THE DETAILS AND THE MAIN IDEA IS STILL BLUR TO ME. BUT IF I HAD TO SQUEEZE IT OUT, I SUPPOSE THAT THE PLOT IS ABOUT FRIENDSHIP AND BETRAYAL. THIS PLOT ISN'E EXACTLY CREATIVE, BUT THE GOOD THING IS IT'S NOT MAINSTREAM. THE MAINSTREAM ONES, ALSO KNOWN AS CHEESY HIGHSCHOOL ROMANCE, OR FALLING IN LOVE WITH THE NERD, THAT'S MAINSTREAM. BUT SINCE YOURS AREN'T, THAT'S A GOOD ONE. THE PROBLEM I'M FACING IS THAT YOU DISCUSSED TWO ENTIRELY DIFFERENT TOPIC IN THOSE TWO CHAPTERS, MAKING IT HARD FOR ME TO MAKE OUT AND UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU'RE TRYING TO NARRATE ABOUT. I SUPPOSE IT WOULD BE BETTER IF YOU COULD FOCUS ON THE MAIN CHARACTER ON THE FIRST CHAPTERS SO THAT ME, AND THE READERS COULD UNDERSTAND WHAT WAS GOING ON. SINCE IT