"Was I... meant to die?"

Luhan's tears started to roll over his cheeks, "I really was meant to die, I don't deserve to live." His voice started to shake and more tears started to form, making his eyes watery. He glanced at the diary in front of him, out of the blue he picked up the book and started to rip every single page of the book one by one. Sadness turned into laughter as he began to rip the papers into even smaller pieces.

"No one deserves to see this." Luhan also began to pull out all the photos that were inside the photo album, scattering them over the bed, "Nobody, even Sehun, deserves to be with me. No one cares about my feelings, they are all fake, my life is fake, everything is bad." Luhan's at the peak of his self control as he also started to destroy everything in this room, the lamps, the wardrobe, the candlelights, everything.

He has turned his room into a total shipwreck, he only smiled widely at the masterpiece he created. Adding his final touch, he pulled out a matchstick box out from the drawer nearby. Lighting it up, Luhan carelessly throw the burning matchstick across the room, making his bedsheet light up on fire.

He watched as the papers he ripped and all the photos burn into ashes by the fire. The photographs, including his self portrait with Sehun started to turn into ashes as well. Luhan left the room with the smile plastered on his face, anticipating that the room is going to be on fire and everything will burn down.

He light up the remaining matchsticks and throw them all over the place, so the whole house will burn before him. Nothing matters now, his friendship, his life, even Sehun, it doesn't matter now. Maybe his life has also been waiting for this to happen, he's about to see darkness again. Darkness was already his fate from the start, he doesn't deserved to see the light.

He close the door behind him after burning his home, his shelter. He only went out with a sweater since the cold never bother him anyway. He make his way upstairs to the roof because that's where he's going to end it, he's going to vanish like the wind without anyone noticing.

It was a chilly night when he stepped on the edge of the roof of his apartment. No one is going to notice him, he's going to do it silently. Looking down, the building is pretty high for a small human being like him. Before he could look up again, his phone received a notification, it is a message from Sehun, about damn time he actually replied to him. But it doesn't matter, because he'll leave his phone on top of the roof and with no doubt, he's doing it.

He put his feet up in the air, while falling forward and he has just jump off the roof. As he close his eyes, everything started to be in slow motion, it plays the flashback in his head all over again. The days when he played hide and seek with Sehun, the day when he gave him the bracelet, the day he kissed Sehun for the first time, the horrible accident, even the day he kissed Sehun again was played inside his head.

He felt his eyes started to sting again, as tears started to flow out from his eyes, no doubts are hold, he is better this way.

Dear Sehun,

I really wanted to tell you about many things, about the days when we were always together, the days when we have sleepovers, even the days when I broke your heart. I also wanted to tell you that I'm really sorry about many things, I've hurt you a lot and I didn't get to make it up to you.

I know that I'm such a horrible person now, but I'm really glad that I met you in the first place, and that I'm also glad that I'm able to see you again even after I woke up in the hospital. I wouldn't be able to recover my memories if I wasn't able to see you again.

I could've seen your face for the last time, but nothing matters now. I was supposed to be dead, I don't deserve to live right now. You don't have to worry about me anymore, you can just easily forget me and remove me from your life. I don't deserve to be with you because I always hurt your feelings, but I do wish that I could be there for you forever.

I'm sorry for leaving this world without further notice, but I think that it's better this way. This is my last goodbye to you, I hope you can enjoy your life until the end.

I'm going to miss you a lot, I hope that you'll always remember me until the end.

Lu--

Luhan let out his last breath, as he fell down and can't feel his body anymore.

Sehun was found at the cemetery, in front of Luhan's grave. He was the only one there, it is quite lonely and sad at the same time. Looking at the tomb in front of him, Sehun hit the tomb until his fist hurts and red marks showing.

"Why..." Sehun continuously hitting the tomb, "Why did you leave me? How did you decide to end it like this? We could have died together you know... I can't believe you left me right after I just knew everything..."

"You left me right after I recovered from my memories." Sehun's eyes started to become red as he felt his eyes started to get watery, "I've knew everything now. We have met since we were young, and I realized how I actually have develop feelings for you... I actually still do, even until now."

"I hate you so much for leaving me like this..." Sehun's hand now felt numb from hitting the tomb many times until he lost count, "I want to tell you a lot of stories, but I can't just... talk to the dead." He looked down, while wiping his tears with his coat, "But I do wish you hear me saying this..."

"I don't care that you hurt me countless of times, I don't care about your mistakes and faults, all that I care about is that you were always there for me. Even at times I forgot about your existence, you still managed to help me when I need it, and I thank you for that..." Sehun managed to put a smile on his face as his hand is now on top of Luhan's tomb.

"I should have recognized you earlier, but you were also the one who left a scar on my forehead... You made me forgot my memories too, because of you I got worried, that time was the most anxious time of my life... But I'm glad that we were able to meet again even though we both felt like we don't know each other."

He hugged the marble tombstone, laying his head on top of it, "I wish that you're still here with me... I'll-- I'm going to miss you more than anyone else. You've showed how I'm not going to be alone for the rest of my life, you've showed me hope..." Sehun planted a kiss on top of the cold tombstone and hugging the tomb for the last time.

"I love you, Luhan... I always do..." He whispered as he slowly stood up and wiping of the remaining tears from his eyes, he can't always be like this, this time he really have to move on from him. Everything is in the past now, he needs to start anew, put the dark past away and start a new journey.

"Sehun, what took you so long?" Sehun's breath hitched as he slowly looked back only to look at the last person he wished he would never see again. He only sighed as he replied to him, "What and why are you here, Jongin? Please just leave me alone right now."

"What? Is it wrong if I come here to pick you up?" Jongin only smiled as he walk to him to give him a hug, but was quickly rejected by Sehun as he walk back to stay away from him. Noticing the disgusted face of Sehun only makes Jongin want to move closer to him, "What's with the face? Don't you even miss me? I bet you do."

"I said stay away from me Jongin." Sehun's tone suddenly became serious as he glare at Jongin, "I mean it. I need to be alone. Plus you already got somebody else to do that other than me, why are you still being greedy for me?"

"Oh, you mean Kyungsoo?" Jongin only smirked as he just spoke the name, "Well, actually yeah. We've been together since you rejected me, right? I still remember that time when you tried so hard to reject me--"

"He actually meant it, please leave him alone." Another voice was heard not far away as Sehun looked at the source of the voice, he felt his lips curved up into a smile, he arrived just in time for his rescue. Jongin's face started to neutralize as he met eyes with the tough-looking guy.

"Do I have to tell you more than once? Leave him ing alone!" Jongin startled as the voice reached its peak and he only admit defeat, once again, as he walk away as quickly as he can. Sehun only heaved a sigh as he felt the other's arm around his shoulder.

"Just about time that you arrive." Sehun whispered as he wrap his arms around the man beside him, "Thank you again, Yixing." Yixing only smiled as he laid his chin on top of Sehun's head, "It is my job to protect you, right? Glad that I came right when you need me."

Yixing pull away from Sehun as he hold Sehun's chin, revealing the red eyes that still stings Sehun. "I bet you cried before, and I'm sorry for your lost..."

"We're both at lost, right...?" Sehun lean forward to hug Yixing, "You'll miss him, right? He was the one who made us to be together after all..." Yixing hide his face on the crook of Sehun's neck while hugging the other's waist, "I'll always remember him..."

Yixing pull his head away and rests his forehead on top of Sehun's, "Just so you know, that I'll always be there for you." Sehun only chuckled as he lean in to kiss the other's plump lips,

"I know you will."

wow... what a ed up ending this is

btw, you my friend, has landed on the sad ending chapter :"V

told ya there will be 2 endings X"D

well tbh, i can't even have the courage to make this ending, like i couldn't make him die, why would i make that poor soul die TAT (which also explains why this chapter is so freaking short)

but it's angst anyway, it happens for a reason *waves of feelings hit straight across our faces*

so for the other ending, well you guys gotta wait because it's coming up... after i posted 2 or 3 chapters HAHAHA jk

but yeah i got to make the happy ending special, so i actually did plan to start the sad ending from 'that' part, from 'that' part you know what i'm saying? *smirks*

and this story is actually not officially finished yet, it needs a couple more chapters until we actually reach the final ending :) so patience is key guys (O.< )

and don't worry, if you guys want the happy ending, you can actually ignore this chapter ^W^ god why didn't i tell you this earlier

but even though you've read this chapter, this chapter has got nothing to do with the other ending later on *wink*

so hope you guys enjoy this sad ending-- *eggs and tomatoes started to be thrown at me*

and as always please subscribe to receive updates of this story and upvotes are also appreciated! ^W^

well since i'm posting this chapter at the same day as i posted the previous chapter, i'm going to say it again,

merry belated christmas and happy new year to every each one of you~! ^.^ hope you all have an amazing holiday and see you guys in the next chapter

baiiii