Luhan appeared in front of Kris and the others, Yixing included. Unexpectedly, Luhan took off his black jacket which symbolizes the 'gang' he's in and shove it in front of Kris' face. While Yixing, Xiumin, Tao and Chen watched him wide-eyed, Kris kept his poker face on since he already knew this will happen.

"Just as you wanted, right?" Luhan whispered, loud enough for them to hear him out. Kris only smirked while gripping the jacket tight, "At least you need to have a reason why you're leaving us." Luhan only raised one of his eyebrows, "I thought you already knew the reason why I'm leaving."

"But the others might be interested to know." Kris still managed to keep his cool even in situations like this. Luhan only took a deep breath to try and calm himself. No need to rush, just take your time, breath in, breath out.

"I'm leaving... because Kris wants me to." Luhan looked up to meet everyone's eyes, it took a lot of courage for Luhan to say these things, "But I also feel like leaving this crap, I feel like I'm not needed anymore since what he does is ordering me to do everything he asks." Luhan decided to take a peek on Kris' disgusted face before he continues again.

"Well I didn't think twice about being with you all, which I should have because I regretted my life decisions since then. I also thought wrong about getting to know more people, but instead I feel more isolated, as if you guys are my only hope, and you all failed to show me hope. Even though some actually approached to me and being by my side, but only one who actually will always be there for me."

Luhan paused before he continued, whilst taking a glimpse of Yixing smiling at him, smiling until his deep dimples revealed, "But still, I'm glad he wants me to leave because I was about to resign myself. I'm done with the crowd full of thirsty girls, I'm done with everything I've been through here, and I don't want to go back anyway."  

"Well, as I said again, he wants me to leave. He orders me to do everything he wants and now he wants me to leave. End of story." He fixed his shirt as he turn away, not holding back the words he just said. Finally, it's all over, he's free now. He left the quiet classroom and slowly walk down the hallway.

As he looked up, he spotted a familiar figure leaving the library. School time is already over since couple of hours ago, why is he still here? Extracurricular? But the tall figure and the pale skin kind of reminds him of Sehun. God even at this time you're still thinking about him? You nasty little deer.

Luhan was not alarmed as he felt hands on both of his shoulders while he was being pushed until his back touches the lockers. He's glad that his back is not broken, no other than because of Yixing who is now glaring down at the slightly shorter one. He's not completely free yet, he guess.

"Please tell me this is a joke, Luhan." Yixing whispered to him as he grip Luhan's shoulder tighter than it already is, "Are you sure you're leaving? I might not let you leave me though." Luhan only chuckled under Yixing as he looked up to make eye contact with the other, "Why are you so scared about me leaving? I'm only leaving the gang, not like it's a farewell and you won't see me anymore."

Luhan has more to say, but was cut short as Yixing quickly lean in and close the gap between their lips. The shorter one has his eyes wide open, while Yixing lift his fingers under Luhan's chin to get a better angle before he continue kissing Luhan with all his heart. Luhan can't help but to close his eyes while wrapping his arms around Yixing's head to bring him closer, kissing back. Just this one time, he promised, just this one time he'll play the bad boy role.

They stopped for awhile, catching their breaths. Yixing rested his head on the crook of Luhan's neck, hugging the other's waist as Luhan lay his head on the cold metal of the lockers. But he suddenly felt as if time stopped, he was deafened not long after he looked sideways and met with the shocked face of someone. What... that person really is Sehun.

He suddenly felt his chest tighten and hurting, he couldn't think of anything other than Sehun, how does Sehun actually feel when he saw what Luhan did right before his sight. Does it hurt his feelings? But most importantly... can he accept the fact that Luhan did it? Heck why does Luhan even care about it, it's not like Sehun's his partner or something.

"There's nothing to be worried about if there's another person who's there to be with you aside from me."

Luhan shouldn't have done it, this was not meant to happen. He shouldn't have fell from the trap, but he can't hardly control himself from the desires he has that already crossed the line. Luhan can hear his heartbeat pumping so fast, it is the only sound he could hear. All he could imagine right now is his young self attempting to give his first kiss to another kid, who's face is still blurry from his head. He can't seem to figure out who the other kid is.

But he do know for sure that the other has pale skin, just like Sehun, taller than him, just like Sehun, dark glinting eyes, just like Sehun's, and those slightly rosy lips, just like Sehun's. He can't be so sure that it's Sehun, but since the day he woke up, Sehun was the first name he has ever heard.

Not forgetting to mention about their matching bracelets.

In a blink of an eye, he started to realize that Sehun was no longer there. He's not there anymore. Luhan was dragged back to the real world as he felt Yixing lift up his chin, calling his name. Luhan only frozed as he noticed how he was so close to Yixing.

"Luhan... you're not going to leave me right?" Yixing smiled as he grazed his thumb over Luhan's bottom lip. By the smile itself, Luhan knew that Yixing has something to tell him. The real reason he doesn't want Luhan to leave.

"I know you have feelings for me." Luhan blurted out of the blue, before Yixing could lean in for another kiss. He put down Yixing's hand from his chin, "This... is why you don't want me to leave, right?" Luhan only looked down while Yixing decided to move back, scratching the back of his neck.

Luhan paused for a minute before he spit out the words, "I'm not leaving you... I won't." By the time Luhan looked up, he spotted Yixing trying to avoid eye contact, preparing for the worst that could happen. He guessed it already, did he?

"I understand how you feel about me, but we can't do this." Luhan shook his head, "This is wrong, you've chosed the wrong person. I'm not the right person for you, I can't be the right person for you. I might not be the one who's perfect for you, someone else might be other than me."

"Which explains why you left me without a word." Yixing's eyes were glaring at Luhan's again, but this time it has a different persona. Luhan has actually never seen this side of Yixing before, those piercing eyes that shot through Luhan's sweet ones. He knew this conversation would come up.

"You cared about that person more than me." Yixing's tone suddenly became more serious and Luhan felt Yixing's anger inside of him, the anger that he rarely showed to anyone, "I don't care who that person you carried before at the bubble tea shop, but it seems like you went soft on him. Why can't you be like that to me? You already clearly know that I'm in love with you. What you're doing is only lowering the chance of me... confessing to you."

Luhan only covered his eyes with his palm, hiding his face away from Yixing. Luhan might hate it but Yixing is going to say it, it's the end of them, right..?

"I guess I'll just leave you here." Yixing back away from Luhan as he walked away in defeat, "It's okay now if you decided to leave me, maybe I'll find someone else to replace you. I hate to say it but good luck enjoying your life without me."

Yixing is no longer here. Yixing is gone, he's gone, his shadow was no longer seen anymore. A hit and run, he guessed, as Luhan felt a tear rolling down from his eyes to his cheek.

I don't even know why I act like that in front of Sehun, I don't know why I care more about Sehun, I don't even understand it myself Yixing. Even though you asked me, I don't know the answer. But something is telling me that Sehun is the one for me, since the day I heard that name for the first time. You're the only hope I have Yixing, I was supposed to tell you all this but you left me, not long after I told you that I won't leave you.

The world is cruel, isn't it? I can't really rely to anyone now. But I do hope that someone else can replace me, I know that person will be more suitable for Yixing than me.

Luhan decided to go back home, when he spotted Sehun and Jongin hugging each other at the end of the school hall. There you go again, Luhan can't hear anything but his fast heartbeat, really hurting his ears. His chest started to hurt too, his vision wasn't clear either. He tried to contain himself by looking at the other side, sure does help to ease the pain. 

He only silently hissed at himself as he decided to use the other way to get out from this school while clearing his head.

"I hate you, Yixing. I hate you now, even though I was the one that actually caused the problem."

Luhan was unsure what to do as he was now alone in his own apartment. At this time, he would always get text messages by Yixing to go grab a drink or maybe he might get invited to a party for no apparent reason, or maybe it's because he 'was' in the gang before. Now that he lost everything, he got nothing else to do but to stare up at the ceiling while he's on the couch.

He was about to text Sehun to ask what he's up to, but seconds after he thought it's not the best idea to do so, it might be awkward for both of them after the incident that happened a few months before, which felt like it was just yesterday. Even until now, he regretted for kissing Yixing back, but it's just his personality, always taking the risk. But he guessed it's worth the try to text him right?

He decided to start with a simple, "Hey..." and with no doubt Luhan pressed the send button. His phone screen felt colder because of the cold weather now, right... it's December already. Which means christmas is also near, he barely has anyone to celebrate with, even his family is now gone. He doesn't exactly know how he lost his parents, he knew because of the car accident the doctor told him before, but how did it exactly happened?

Right... he'll never knew the truth since he got a coma.

As expected from before, Sehun didn't replied his text. Luhan only sighed and stood up to go to his room and just take a nap. But upon arriving at his room, he took back the idea of sleeping as he noticed the photo album sitting on his bedside table. He did put it there on purpose so he'll remember to try to find the key to the lock of the photo album when he have free time. He has been wondering from before what's inside the album since it's locked and can't be opened.

Since he hardly got any time to find the key, and now that he has more free time maybe he could just use his time to find that key. Where to find it? Well, nobody knows, even Luhan himself. So he leave his room again and go straight to his storage room because he's almost certain that the key is not around his house except the storage room, plus he rarely gone there ever since he moved here.

As he opened the door, dusts started to escape from the room and the room is so dark Luhan felt the need to use a flashlight for this. Attempting to step inside the room, Luhan immediately turn on the flashight from his phone and proceed to follow the way to the huge stacks of old boxes in front of his eyes. This is going to take a while he guessed.

Some of the boxes he went through are not labelled, so he also have to examine the things inside the boxes too. Not even long enough, Luhan felt the need to go to have a shower again. Is playing detective this hard? It might even took him days to find the key.

It's been an hour since he started searching through hundreds of boxes inside the dark room. He took a short break as he sat down on the dusty floor and wipe his sweat off with his shirt. He have examined every single box he found in this room yet he still didn't get the key yet, no hints were also given to him so he has absolutely no idea where the key could be. He's at the tip of an iceberg for giving up, he thought maybe the key doesn't even exists. It might have be thrown over the river so it's gone forever. Just like his parents.

At the same time, he has also found things that he never thought he might have it from before. He sure does have a lot of toys back when he was still a kid, he also found old woman purses and many old jewelries. He first guessed that it might be his Mum's, but if those weren't hers Luhan would have sold all of them, good to keep up his expenses too. Old business files and work shoes were also found there, it might be his Dad's as well. Even though he didn't get to meet his parents again, at least he found their old things. Selling unused things can also be profitable though.

Enough breaktime, he still need to continue search for the key. He have searched through the boxes, but there is one box that got his attention straight away. It is a box hidden in between many other boxes, but it's not just a simple brown box that Luhan have went through, it's a box that looks like a present, a special box that differentiates with many other boxes.

Luhan stood up while brushing off the dusts on his pants and approach the dusty red box. This might be the one he has been searching for, so he dust off the red box and brought the box with him outside. As soon as he left the storage room he put the red box aside while closing the door behind him. Well, he might have to do cleaning again with the dusts covering the floor, but he'll do it after a quick shower.

He prayed that he will found the key, the red box is the only hope he has right now and it is the only box that seperates from many other brown boxes. Hoping for the best he took a deep breath and open the box revealing the things inside it.

"A pair of gloves, a handkerchief, tennis ball? I can hardly even remember how to play tennis..." Luhan continue on putting away the items from inside the box. After getting all the junk away, he spotted an old book sitting at the bottom of the box. A diary? He didn't remember the last time he wrote in a diary, diaries are only for girls. But doesn't mean that Luhan's not going to read it anyway.

He picked up the book out from the box, and a metal key suddenly fell off from the inside of the book. He can feel himself smiling so wide, he has finally found what he has been searching for. He guessed that the photo album is very personal since it's hidden inside the diary book. He picked up the old key and keep it inside his pocket because he became more curious on what's inside the diary.

He opened the first page of the diary book, well it only tells how he got his first diary and how proud his young self is. He only giggled as he continue reading his messy diary and flipping through the pages. But as soon as he got to a certain page, he felt his eyes getting wider as he covered his mouth, he got shocked even more as he read the rest of the entries... he can't believe what he just saw.

Dear Diary,

For the first time in my life, I can finally make friends! It's really hard to find friends that likes the same thing as you which makes it really hard to find friends that suits you... But I'm happy because I'm not lonely anymore!

There is this one kid that I approached to first, he looked a bit lonely so that's why I went to his side :D At first I thought we might not be able to get along, but we were so happy that we both like dogs! We talked a lot about it which makes me really happy :D

Oh and his name is Sehun, cute name right? I like his name a lot :O

I'll tell you more about it soon :) Maybe I can know more about this kid when I meet him again soon, I can't wait!!!

Luhan

Dear Diary,

I met Sehun again today :D He was really happy which also makes me happier :) We played hide and seek today and he couldn't even find me in between the bushes XD Since he lost all the time, he'll have to find me over and over and over again. I kind of pity for him, but that's what he gets for losing all the time hahaha!

But still, I kind of pity him and it makes me feel guilty too... He's only 3 years old and I'm 3 years older than him, but I don't like making myself lose on purpose, if he wants to win, he have to win with his own effort! >:D

Do you know that we actually have opposite interests? I know it's weird... like how come Sehun likes coke more than sprite? Coke is disgusting :"(

But at least we still get along :) And I can't wait to meet him again anytime soon :D I need to sleep early so I'll tell you stories again soon, see you soon!

Luhan

Dear Diary,

I miss writing stories here.. I know it has been 3 years since I've last wrote here but everything is good :) Well I've focused too much in studying since I want to be the smartest in school you know ^_^ 

But it doesn't mean I don't have time to hang out with my best friend Sehun, you still remember him right? We actually hung out more than I expected, we even had sleepovers! Since he wants to sleep beside me, he started to get clingy to me, not in a bad way though :D I feel comfortable with his arms and legs wrapping around me, it makes me feel like I have company I guess. 

Well me and my Mum just walk past a souvernir stall and their bracelets are so nice looking, so I decided to buy two bracelets with the infinity symbol for myself and Sehun :D I bought the blue one for him since I like red and I knew that our interests are always the opposite. I'm planning to give it to him later when we get to meet up again :) I hope he likes it.

Since you're the only one who know and will always keep my secrets, I'll only tell this to you. I think I have interest in Sehun... not as in best friends but as in love. I like Sehun in 'that' way... it's normal to have feelings like that with a boy right? I hope it's normal... I'm scared that he would leave me one day.

Forget about it for now, I'm still planning on how to give the bracelet to him :D Praying that he'll love it!

Luhan

Dear Diary,

I DID IT! I gave him the bracelet just in time! I felt my heart would've dropped if he didn't like it... but he actually likes it, even though he said himself he would rarely use it, but he promised me that he would always wear it when we hang out again next time :D

But when I got home, I was informed by my Mum that we would have to go back to China anytime soon. Right after I gave him the bracelet... I know, not a good timing. But what I'm worried about is how to tell Sehun later on. If I tell him sooner, I don't think we could talk again... I'll be lonely again...

I guess it's best to not tell him straight away :) Maybe it's better that way, I still want to hang out with him :"D

But I did got mad a bit at him :( I was only scared that he would get lost behind me, but I made him cried anyway... I might get guilty again if I tell you the full story so it's better if I keep it to myself I guess...

I will tell him that I'll go back to China when I found the right time :) I promise I will :D

Luhan

Dear Diary,

I got free ice cream when we were playing our favorite game, hide and seek! I know I might be too old to play that game, but guess what? I found a perfect hiding spot! It's behind the pegasus statue at the centre of the park. It took Sehun so long to find me >:) Well obviously it's good for me since I'll always be the winner anyway ^O^

I actually wanted to tell him about me leaving to China, but he didn't heard me loud enough. Well, I don't know if it's a good thing or a bad thing, but I wonder how he would feel when I suddenly tell him right before when I leave... I think I might hurt his feelings a lot. But it hurts my feelings too since it means that I won't be able to see him again later on... I would miss him a lot.

But if I leave him one day, I know that somebody else will suit more with him and I only hope that they'll always be together. Even though I might be jealous of that person because that person is supposed to be me!

Well, I'm still worried how I'll tell him though... Just hope for the best I guess!

Luhan

Luhan accidentally dropped the book as he covered his mouth with both of his hands. He can't take in everything this fast, it's only giving him a sudden headache and everything he saw is blurry. He felt as if time stopped as he hold his head from the pain hitting his head repeatedly. He quickly make his way to the kitchen to grab some water and his painkiller.

After drinking the medicine, he take his time to breath properly. He still can't believe the fact that he has actually met Sehun when they were kids, Sehun was involved in his past life before he lost everything until he couldn't remember anything. The diary might tell him what actually happened before he woke up in the hospital... but later, he'll continue on reading it later. He needs time to calm himself down.

So from what he know, Sehun is his best friend and Luhan has feelings for him before. That explains why he felt a different aura when he laid his eyes on Sehun, and the bracelet was from Luhan himself. He take a look at the red bracelet again that's wrapped around his wrist, it is ages old but still good as new. He smiled at himself, the fact that Sehun still doesn't know where his bracelet is from only makes Luhan more eager to tell him as soon as he can.

He wants to tell him everything, the real truth between them, but Sehun might still not believe it, it might make them both even more distant than it already is. But the real question is... how come Sehun didn't recognize Luhan? Did he lost his memories as well? How did this even happened from the start?

The real truth lies on the key that Luhan just took out from his pocket, the answer might even be clearer with a memory in a photograph right?

He decided to take his old diary with him and brought it to his room so he could also look at the photo album at the same time. Finally, he gets to unlock the key lock as he twist the key which fits in perfectly and it works. His patience has reached its peak, he flipped the photo album cover straight away and the first picture that caught his eyes was his young self with another kid side to side.

Looking at how cute he and Sehun was when they were way younger, Luhan only smiled that he was glad he was able to be friends with him at that time. He graze his finger on top of Sehun's face, now that he knows the truth he wished he could meet him again sooner. Even though it might still be awkward for both of them, now that Luhan knows that Sehun was supposed to be his, and he was supposed to be Sehun's.

He also tried to recall the dreams that he had before and connect it with the real memories from the photos. Now it makes sense, those dreams he had was actually trying to tell him his past life, the fact that he did met Sehun in the first place, the fact that he did gave him the bracelet, the fact that Sehun was his first kiss... wait what?

As soon as he laid his eyes on the picture of his older self taking a self portrait with Sehun, he got a sudden flashback where they were both sitting on a bench, looking at each other's eyes, leaning their faces closer to each other and closing the gap between their lips. That person really is Sehun, the one that has been in his dreams all this time.

"I'm going back to China soon..."

"... I know."

"What?! Since when?"

"3 years ago. I overheard my Mum's phone conversation with your Mum."

"Oh... that's... a long time. 3 years ago."

"It is, and why didn't you told me sooner?"

"I thought it would hurt you feelings and all and--"

"NO!"

"It's not like in those fairytails, and that I should've told you earlier so that you could move on earlier... that's what you told me before right?" Luhan whispered to himself as he took out the old polaroid snapshot of himself and Sehun from the album. He bring the photo close to him, whilst looking up at the white ceiling.

"I should've realized your true feelings from the start..." Luhan felt a tear suddenly rolled down from his right eye, "I thought I was the only one who had feelings for you, I can't believe we actually have mutual feelings... I'm sorry... I should've done better than this Sehun." He wipe off his wet cheek with his thumb, he shouldn't be crying right now, he's now so close in remembering everything from his past. All he needs to do now is to read his last diary entry from the book.

He skipped some entries from the book because he already knew what he was going to wrote there, and he finally reached to the final page which is the final entry of his old diary. He took a deep breath, before proceeding in reading the entry, the truth behind how he ended up in the hospital.

Dear future self,

This might be the last time I write things here, and I only hope that I would be able to read this again in the future. So hi future me, I hope you're now doing way better than me right now because I'm going to leave my favorite place in my whole life, I'm also leaving my favorite people I met here in Korea which I know it is sad... I really don't want to leave but I have to.

I still have to make up my own faults that I made here, especially about what I did to Sehun. I hurt the person that's dearly close to me and the person who I also have feelings with from before until now. I only realized now that he also have feelings for me... I'm such a stupid human being. 

So future me, if you're reading this right now, I hope that you'll be able to meet Sehun again and fix the misunderstandings for me. I might leave this book somewhere later on and I'll also leave the key of the photo album here too, since you'll be the only one who can open the secret photo album, haha.

I'm still on my way to the airport and I'm not even a bit excited to go back to China again. I wish I could turn back time and restart everything again in a cycle... 

Lu

He noticed that this was actually a rushed note, by noticing how the story is not finished and him writing his name in a rush and he also noticed a long straight line from his name written on the bottom of the paper. The line was drawn across the paper, but how? Did he got bumped into something while writing this? Or don't tell me...

"Lu, what are you writing?" His mother who's sitting beside him took a tiny peek of the book and Luhan closed the book as soon as he heard his mother's sweet voice, afraid if she's going to read what he just wrote.

"N-- nothing. Just writing my diary..." Luhan's startled voice only made his mother laughed and continue on looking at the road, "I still remember when you nearly wanted to throw away your new diary since you don't want it, but look at you now, writing a whole book of it." Luhan only ignored his mother's words as he open his diary again to continue on what he's writing. 

"It's raining hard today, looks like a bad timing for our flight, isn't it honey?" The honey she referred to is his father, who's driving the car right now, "I know, and the road is also a bit slippery..."

As the car made it to the red light, his father attempted to brake at the traffic light but, it looks like his brake jammed all of the sudden. He continue on attempting to stop the car but he can't, in the end they have to keep moving even though it's the red light. The slippery road only makes the vehicle to move faster and his father can hardly control the car now.

"Oh no... What do we do?!" His father exclaimed while his mother only prayed that nothing bad is going to happen. Luhan was about to continue his last words for the story but he'll just write his name quickly for now.

"Okay, writing my name. L-u- WAIT NOOO!!!"

It was too late when the car hit by a huge truck and the car flew away across the bridge and to the road beneath it. The family in the car screamed all together, all windows of the car happen to break and Luhan felt himself flown away from the car and get hit by the outer part of the handrail of the bridge, before falling and hitting hard on the ground beneath the bridge. The pain he felt was the most painful pain he have ever had.

He noticed the straight line across the note he just wrote inside the car, the tip of his pen happened to draw a line on the book when the car was being hit. Now that the book is across from him and was closed by the direction of the wind. Even though he can hardly move his body with his now broken bones, he tried to crawl until he reached his diary. He slipped the key inside the diary while drop dead on the ground. He can now hardly see and he felt like his head is going to break soon enough.

He tried to look at the direction of the car, which is now completely destroyed and fire was visible from his sight. Is he going to die? Is this better than going back to China? Is he better off dying than going to China.

He can now hardly breath and from the rain he noticed huge amount of blood coming out from him. The only thing he's able to do now is to close his eyes, see the darkness and never be able to wake up again.

"I... I survived...?" Luhan only looked at his diary with his eyes wide open not long after the train of memories hit him hard. He still can't believe that he still survived seconds before he actually left the world. That only left Luhan hung his mouth open as he kept on staring at the opened book in front of him.

"Was I... meant to die?" 

hello everyone ^O^

look who updated this story faster than a sloth? yeah that's right, it's me

jk, but really for the first time in forever i actually updated the story way faster than usual. the storyline here is a bit shorter because it's near the end of this story!

yeah this story will end sooner than i thought :"V but well i'm the author, i'm the one who gets to take control everything lmao

so yea a little bit of hint, for the future chapters i will be making 2 different endings and possibly an epilogue, because why not right? *laughs alone*

because like those who read this fanfic must have missed hunhan, am i right? or not..? ok idk 

and do you guys like the new poster for this fanfic? :V i actually prepared 2 different posters and i can't decide which one to choose, so hope this one doesn't dissapoint you guys :D

if you made it this far, congratz! your journey will soon end (wait, was that supposed to be a good thing or a bad thing? :V)

and please do subscribe to be notified when the chapter updates again anytime sooner *A* upvotes are also appreciated

lastly, merry *late* christmas and happy new year!! ^A^

so as always, see ya guys next chapter~

baiiiii

*NOTE: if you only want to see one ending (happy ending), you're welcome to skip chapter 5 (E1) :D