Myungsoo was having a bad feeling. And that feeling had been lurking over him ever since he was up. But only would it be later that day would he understand why. For instance, ever since the incident with Sungyeol, Myungsoo wasn't feeling too good. Mostly because the simple reminiscence of Sungyeol's disappointed look were enough to crush his heart. But it was for the best, well that was what he was trying to convince himself at least. But honestly, finding out that he was be harboring some romantic feelings for Sungyeol was enough of a shock already. And between being his friend and having to continue on this bet with all these confusing feeling, he sure as hell didn't want either if he was practically having a meltdown here. Besides, he was already a mess when in a normal relationship so with a guy, it could only lead to a phenomenal disaster. Besides let's get real here. Even though we're in the twentieth century, gay relationship were still frown upon. And it was partly the reason why he had cowardly spat out all these cruel words to Sungyeol even though he knew he was listening. That was for the best, he kept telling himself but.. Why was he still waiting for him ? Why did he long to see him? To tell him he hadn't meant any crap he had said. But as much as he wished to come clean, the reality is unfortunately not that conscentent. Actually, right after he got discovered, he chased after Sungyeol in hopes of fixing things out of the spur of the moment but he soon gave up, when he realized just how pathetic he must've seemed. He had made the decision to let him go after all, so why the hell was he suddenly having second thoughts ? 

Myungsoo arrived home a little over midnight from his night ballad. He knew he was going to have his mother nag him about the past curfew, but honestly he really didn't care. He had a lot more in his mind, to really care about if he was getting grounded or not. However, for some divine reason, yes divine because only a miracle can prevent what would normally would've befall on him. The reproach or the lecture he should've normally been greeted with didn't come one bit.  Even when he was right in front of his mom. Even worse, instead of a frown and a glare that she would usually wear when he had the guts to break one of her rules she had...-tears in her eyes ? Why ? Was it a new way for her to punish him for disobeying her ? Damn, he wouldn't be able to take it if she started bawling everytime he did something stupid. But, wait his mom was after all a woman known for her lack of sensitivity. So to have her tearing up like that couldn't be because he went pass his curfew. Did something happen?

"What's going on mom?" Myungsoo finally asked as he got rid of his coat and was about to sit at the opposite of the sofa facing her when he was caught off guard by her question

"Were you with Sungyeol?"

The name alone of the young man brought an aching pain to Myungsoo heart, but true to himself he remained emotionless and said 

"Yeah, something like that why? What's going on?"

Without answering, she turn the TV right on the news channel and from what Myungsoo could make out the reporters were showing a house squirming with cops who seemed like they were doing an investigation. Why did she want him to watch this when she knew he wasn't one to watch news? As if the journalist read his mind, she said in a professional tone although her tone were betraying a tiny bit of... horror ? 

"Yes, as you can see behind me, the police are right now moving the body out of the house and sadly it had just been confirmed that two of them are in a critical state while the two other of the family Lee died. Unfortunately the name can't be said but as far as the authority is concerned it seems to be an execution. The police are thinking that the culprit might be one of so many that have a grudge against the multimillionaire Lee family. For more...."

Myungsoo wasn't listening anymore to what was being said, for the minute he heard the name Lee and Critical state he was already out the door, rushing to the hospital where they were said to be, regardless of the cold night that envelopped him or the slippery street that could've seriously broke his neck if he were to fall. At that moment his mind was set only on knowing if Sungyeol was alright. Whether he was going to fall and break his neck or catch a cold were the least of his problem. Sungyeol was, is what really mattered here. He should be fine right ? No it's more like, he HAD to be. Gosh, how could something like this happen? Was this a joke? He could hear from afar his mom telling him to wear something warmer before going out but that really wasn't what mattered to him at that very moment. So what if he got a cold? It wouldn't kill him. 

As soon as he arrived in front of the hosital, he hesitated for a brief second to go in. After all, did he even have the right to show up after what he did ? What was he actually going to say if he came accross Sungyeol? Despite his hesitation, he made his way anyway into the hospital. Even if he were to be kicked out by Sungyeol, he had to at least make sure he wasn't dead. He had to know no matter what. His light outfit, in spite of the cold, must've been really weird for the nurses, judging by the way the nurse behind the reception of the ER looked at him with a frown. Myungsoo disregarded the rude stare with ease and asked in a dry tone

"How is the family Lee?" After a long silence, the nurse smiled sweetly at him and said

"Are you a family?"

"No but..." 

"Then i'm sorry but i can't give you the information."

"Listen, i just want to know if Lee Sungyeol is ok."

"I'm sorry. But as you know the family Lee's situation is not just any case. So i don't have the clearance to tell you or anyone anything concerning them without permission. I'm sorry", and with that, she turned away from Myungsoo and proceeded to take care of another patient that just arrived. Something that only succeeded in making Myungsoo even more restless. Damn those rules! He just wanted to know if Sungyeol was ok, that's all ! Was it so hard to give him an answer? Was he then going to leave just like that? No way. Discreetly, he made sure the nurse from earlier were busy before heading towards a bunch of doctor. For the one only goal to steal the report on Sungyeol's case.

On the other hand, unaware to what was being done for his sake, Sungyeol slowly approached his parent's lifeless body as he tried to stiffle his sob. Though it turned out to be a fail attempt as he found himself unable to content the tears that spilled over his bruised face. He wouldn't stop anyway since he had no other way to vent his anger besides crying. An anger towards himself, for not being there to protect them. For not have tried harder to get along with his father. For not ever once tell his mother how much he loved her. But mostly for have stubbornly thought that he had the right to be the victim of the family just because his father and his brother didn't approve to his ual orientation. He should've had listen to them and forget about that part of him. Maybe so, he wouldn't have distance himself so much from them. And if he wasn't so stupid and thought of confessing to a guy like Myungsoo, he would've been home and would've properly protected his younger brother and mother. Like the elder son that he was suppose to be. All of this was his fault. Everything was his fault. He was a lame son and hyung. 

Falling onto his knees, he lowered is head to the ground and said in a broken voice, ironically similar to his soul

"Omma, Appa. I'm so sorry. I'm so so sorry. For being the son that i am. I'm sorry for failing you, Appa. Please forgive me. No, an second thought, don't. Don't forgive me. And punish me instead appa, so please stand up Appa. Stand up and punish me. Omma, omma.... Omma."

Unconciously, Sungyeol crawled towards them and was now clinging on their hands as if his life depended on it. And somehow it did. How was he suppose to go on without them, his parents? How was he suppose to face the world without their guidance? Sure they weren't the perfect family, but they were still his family. No matter how imperfect they were. Sungyeol needed them. So badly... 

"Omma, please wake up. Your son is here and i still need you. Please. Please. Just wake up Omma...."

Myungsoo could really thank his skill of a sneaky fox as he held the clipboard that belonged to Sungyeol in his hand. Briefly scanning the clipboard, he let out a sigh of relief when he saw that he had nothing serious besides some injuries. At least he was alive. But, that meant either his parents or his brother died. How was he? Was he hanging on? Myungsoo wondered while putting back the clipboard to where it was initially at. His question was quickly answered as he spotted Sungyeol from afar, looking really horrible. A sight that had Myungsoo's heart uncomfortably clench. Sungyeol's face held various wounds that worried Myungsoo of course. But what got him even more worried was his expression. The way he looked empty. As if he was there but not really being there. How could something this cruel happen to a guy such as Sungyeol? Honestly he didn't deserve any of this. Unconsciously, Myungsoo had slowly made his way to Sungyeol but fortunately he was quickly brought back to reality, realizing that his presence was certainly the last thing Sungyeol needed now. He was after all one of many that wounded him. With a heavy heart, he then reluctantly turned away from Sungyeol and left. Not knowing that that was the last time he was ever going to see him before a very long time.

  A few days later, Myungsoo learned, once again to his horror that Dayeol, who was in a critical state, died. Two days, to be exact, after his parents. Myungsoo could easily imagine the devastating state Sungyeol had to be at the loss of yet another member of his family. Gosh, what a terrible fate he had. Damn, what he would give to at least take away a bit of his burden. But he knew that was a futile wish. 

Right after the funeral held by, who Myungsoo later learned to be, Sungyeol's grandfather, Sungyeol just vanished. Myungsoo didn't get to see him ever since the day at the hospital and even though he asked Woo hyun where he was and how he was doing, the older guy would only stare at him with endless pain and just walk away. No word uttered to the question, though Myungsoo knew he knew something. He had to since he was his best friend, right? And even though Woo hyun refused to talk to him he still didn't give up. He made a mistake pushing Sungyeol away because of his fear. And he wanted to right the wrong no matter what. Even if it meant begging or becoming Sungyeol's punching bag he'll take it. Because just the thought of him being out of his sight was enough to make him, no matter how cheesy it may sound, hate life. Sungjong refered to it as guilt, but Myungsoo knew better. It was true that it was partly guilt but mostly longing. You could say that the proverb that said " It's only when you lose someone that you realize how precious he is" could be apply to his case.

It was now Monday, exactly a week after Sungyeol's disappearance. Myungsoo headed as usual to school with the hope that somehow Sungyeol will reappear. Or at least someone would know where he was. Unfortunately, it seemed like Sungyeol had no intention to appear any time soon. And that only added to Myungoo's emptiness. No matter how corny it sounded. Where could he be? What was he doing? Was he ok? Was he eating? So many question, but yet no answer. Myungsoo headed as usual to the rooftop to where he had his first encounter with Sungyeol and heavily sigh as he stared at the school gate for no particular reason. He really hated this, it was seriously starting to eat him up and that annoyed him to no end. Sighing once again, he laid his head against the rail, and wondered out loud

"Where are you Sungyeol hyung? Are you ok at least?"

Woo hyun was drained. The shock of the tragedy that happened to his best friend was still very much vivid. He could still remember how Sungyeol miserably cried for the sake of his parents then the knowlege of his brother in a coma and now his death. It was just so surreal. How can one person go through so much? Especially someone as young as Sungyeol. Gosh, he didn't deserve any of this. And what the hell? Since when did Sungyeol have a grandfather? For what he remembers, Sungyeol didn't have any grandparents. Or at least that's what he said. Could it be the old man's existence were hidden from Sungyeol for a reason? If yes, what would it be? Gee, just where was Sungyeol, the only person that can answer his question. It's been over a week now so where the hell could he be? Woo hyun laid lazily his head on the hard surface of his desk and proceeded to meditate to where he could look for Sungyeol when one of his classmate call him out from his thoughts and said

"Oppa, he's here again." Again? Was he seriously trying to win his sympathy that way? Woo hyun wondered as he looked up from his desk to find Myungsoo waiting for him once again outside his classroom. It was really bad news if Myungsoo was planning to make this a daily routine. 'Cause he seriously didn't want to put up with him. As always, he planned to brush him off but considering how stubborn the guy was, he ended up meeting him anyway to end whatever curiosity or sick game the Maknae had.

"What do you want?" Woo hyun dryly asked when he reached him. Myungsoo remained unfaze to the mean tone and said

"The same thing. Where is Sungyeol hyung? Is he alright?"

"Sungyeol hyung? Wah, that seriously pisses me off. Do you really think you have the right to call him that? You lost the right when you played him, remember. Yes, i know and Sungyeol didn't tell me. I'm not stupid Kim Myungsoo shi. Now scram it, cause even if i knew where he was, i'll certainly would not tell you." With that, he turned around about to leave, when he was taken aback to Myungsoo's word

"I'm sorry. If you somehow know where he is, tell him that i'm... i'm deeply sorry."

Woo hyun didn't know if he misheard it or the cold was messing with his mind cause it was certainly not possible for Kim Myungsoo to be apologizing. He never... apologizes, right? At least that was what the rumor said him to be. His thought were cut short though when his phone vibrated. Too shock to check the caller ID, he answered in a, still, shock tone

"Hello?"

"Hyung? Can we meet?"

Woo hyun nearly chocked at his own spit when he recognizes the voice of his caller. A voice, that had him restless for days.

"Where are you?"

It was definite, Sungyeol hated it, the smell of hospitals. The smell that death seem to particularly favor. He was now in Dayeol's room and what the doctor said was apparently good news. Even though Dayeol weren't waking up yet due to the amount of blood he lost, he seemed to be out of danger however that doesn't reassure Sungyeol that much. No matter what the doctor says, there was still a chance that his brother's situation might turn so until he wakes up, Sungyeol wasn't plannig on taking his eyes off his dongsaeng. So, clenching his fist as he watched Dayeol's breathing wearily, when the old man from earlier appeared once again in front of him. Sungyeol merely greeted him and asked bluntly, cutting immediately through the chase

"What do you want Ahjussi?" The old man laughed at the daring voice, and approaching steadily Sungyeol, he said

"How rude after what i did for you, Sungyeol shi."

"And what exactly did you do for me?" The old man studied Sungyeol with evident amusement then explained

"Tell me. How are you going to pay all the expenses of your parents funeral and your brother's hospital fee? You aren't exactly thinking of digging into your family's fund."

Sungyeol frowned at the man's indiscreet question and stubbornly remained silence. Which only amused further the older man.

"With the investigation of your parents death, certainly the police will find some illegal activities done in the company. Activities that you muct probably suspect, right Sungyeol Shi. I'll take your silence as a yes. Don't worry, i'll take care of it all then but in one condition", The ahjussi says.

"Why would i even listen to you?" Sungyeol asked with a glare. The old man smiled mischiviously at him and said

"Because if you want your brother to have only the best, you have no choice but to listen. Here's the deal. I'll take care of your brother, in exchange you become my right hand, Sungyeol shi. I've heard wonders of your intelligence and it would be a waste to let you go."

"Why would you help me?"

"Don't misunderstand, i'm doing it for my sake. Oh and another thing, Dayeol shi, in order to protect him. He has to die."

"What?"

"You heard me. Listen carefully Sungyeol shi. The man who killed your family ain't no ordinary man. He was part of an organisation that i've been after for years. So trust me, if they hear that you and your brother survived, they will certainly come after you. So the only way to ensure you brother's safety would be for you to become their only target. Which is why Lee Dayeol have to disappear. Don't worry, i'll take care of all his paper, and make sure he'll be treated by the best doctor but as for you, Sungyeol shi. I'm afraid that accepting my proposition, would mean you'll be constantly chased. But it is the only way for us to find out what that organisation wants and who is behind it. Here's my card. If you ever come to a decision, call me."

Mr Kim Soo Shin, CEO of Bo Tong Entreprise, Sungyeol read on the piece of card. Frowning deeper to the new information, he turned to the old man and asked

"Why would the CEO of Bo tong Entreprise of luxury clothing would be after an organisation of criminal?"

"Seems like you know me, that's good. Let's just say i have some sort of a situation."

"Tell me something, Kim Soo Shin shi. Would i be able to find the person who killed my parents with your help?" The old man extended his hand towards Sungyeol and said with a smirk

"You have my word."

Sungyeol was staring tiredly at the painting he did for Myungsoo. He then let out a sigh as he watchs a man, probably working for the municipal, erase his art. Or more like his mistake. Now, wouldn't it be nice to be able to erase his mistakes and pain that way?

"Yeollie?!" A familliar voice suddenly said behind him pulling him out of his thoughts. Forcing a smile, Sungyeol turned to his best friend and was about to say something when he was pull into a crushing hug. Though unlike before, the contact made him uncomfortable.

"Gosh, where have you been? Do you know how worried i was?" He asked out of breath. Probably because he ran. Sungyeol affectionately rub his back and said

"I'm sorry hyung." Woo hyun finally released him from the murderous embrace and said with a soft expression

"It's ok. The essentiel is that you've called. Did you eat? Do you want to eat something?"

"No, i'm good. Sit down." Woo hyun seem to have finally realize where they were as he looked around with a confuse frown, he then asked

"But tell me why did you want us to meet here?"

"I wanted to watch my mistake get erase. You know, Appa used to say that men can live with love, with pain, with anger, with jealousy, with hatred, but not with regret. I didn't understand then. I mean, how can a person live with anger without going insane? Or jealousy without losing himself? Or even pain or hatred without ceasling out? But now i get it. At least, all these feelings makes you feel alive. Unlike regrets. Who slowly kills you from the inside."

"Why are you saying that Yeollie? Do you regret something?"

Sungyeol had a bitter smile

"I have a lot. But at least there's something that i've learned. I was wrong. I don't deserve to be loved. And to tell you the truth, i don't need that feeling anymore."

Sungyeol then turned to Woo hyun and continued in a more serious voice

"Hyung, i need a favour from you."

"Anything."

"Don't ever tell anyone that you saw me today. Or change your number. I don't know when i'll get in contact with you, but i'll certainly will so until then, don't change your number." Woo hyun frowned deeply at the request then asked in a perplexe tone

"Wait, why are you talking as if you were going somewhere? What are you planning?"

"I'm not sure yet. But the reason i called you is to say goodbye."

"Wait, where are you going?"

"I don't know. Anywhere i guess. But don't worry, i'll be back. There's after all some unfinish business that i have here."

Woo hyun felt a shiver run down his spine at the deep meaning behind that single sentence. Clearly, Sungyeol was seeking revenge. And that can only mean trouble. God, please save them. Save his best friend's soul from the lonely and cruel path, he is now planning to follow, because the choice he's making would only bring him more misfortune. But for some unknown reason it seems like Sungyeol is doing it exactly to get hurt. 

Unbesknown to that, Myungsoo was staring at the picture of Sungyeol's painting with care. He was very determine to find out what it meant. No matter what, he wanted to know. He was trying his hardest to decipher the painting when Dongwoo uddenly barged at the rooftop and said

"He's leaving."

"Who is?"

"Sungyeol ah. He's leaving."

"What? How ? When ?"

"A friend of mine working at the airport called me to inform me that he saw the guy from the news parading the...  Hey where do you think you're going ?" Yelled Dongwoo taken aback. But Myungsoo barely took notice as he yelled back

"Text me the airport's name. Now !" And without even waiting for any consent from his friend, he rushed out of the classroom, avoiding on the way some students in the hall. 

Why was he leaving? Where was he going? Myungsoo wondered as he ran as fast as he could out of the school yard to catch a cab. As soon as he arrived at the airport, he searched desperately through the crowd for the dark mob of hair but it was like searching a needle in a hay box. Just where was he?  He couldn't just leave like this without allowing him to say sorry. He just needed a few seconds of his time. That was all Myungsoo needed. However, no matter how much he ran and searched throughly every corner of the airport, the boy was nowhere to be found. Did he already leave? Was it really how things will end? He mentally shower himself with questions. Pulling out his phone, he tried to call him but as usual he was directed to the voicemail. With a heavy sigh, he let himself fall onto the floor and stared aimlessly at the gate 23. When his eyes caught sight of the picture that laid loosely on the ground. It must've fell somehow. He was then about to pick it up when just then, he was finally able to read it. Or more like to see what the painting hid behind the collision of colours. Two simple sentence that litteraly shattered Myungsoo's heart in pieces. 

Will you be mine Myung ? Please, let me love you.

And for the first time since his father's death, Myungsoo actually cried. From the regret of losing, probably the best thing that ever crashed into his life.