Sungyeol woke up in his room in a very good mood. It has been a long time since he was gradually happy to wake up. To just live. And all this good vibe was possible because of a single name. Kim Myungsoo. He always knew he was bi, so it wasn't that much of a surprise when he realized a couple of years ago that he was interested in Kim Myungsoo in more ways than just a friend or a comrade. But of course he didn't act on his feeling. Mostly because he wasn't sure he deserved him. Sungyeol was at a point of his life where he felt so small, so unwanted that it was nearly suffocating to even think of such thing as happiness. So when Myungsoo approached him, he wasn't sure if he was just dreaming or again, being delusionnal. But as time passed by, things were feeling more and more real to him. To the point that he actually wanted to be selfish for once and pursue Myungsoo. Even though Woo hyun warned him not to trust Myungsoo, he stubbornly ignored it and continued to hope. Was it so wrong for him to be able to have something for himself just this once? Was it so bad? And besides, he had a feeling that Myungsoo felt the same way about him, so what did he have to lose? In the end, if he was rejected, he would manage. He had loved him from afar for three years now. So what if he went back to the starting point? It was better than the aching pain he felt everytime he held Myungsoo, knowing that deep down, if Myungsoo allowed him, he would be so good to him.

Sungyeol sight deeply as he pulled himself out of his bed to wash up before heading downstair. It didn't take him more than 15 minutes for him to shower and change. Since it was a sunday, he pulled on a pair of comfortable black jeans, a white t-shirt and a long sleeve buttoned up shirt. When he was done dressing up, he walked out of his room and like every morning, he went to check his little brother if he was already up. Sungyeol wouldn't say that his relationship between him and Dayeol was your typical brother x brother relationship. But there had been a time where they were inseparable. Unfortunately the day he told his family he was bi, that he liked girl just as much as he liked guys, Dayeol just started to distance himself from  Sungyeol. He didn't mind though, he actually understood why his younger brother didn't want to be associated with him. But that didn't make it any less bearable. It made him wonder if he'll ever hear his younger brother ever call him Hyung again. When he was sure Dayeol was already up, he silently closed the door behind him and walked downstair to meet his dad, in his usual seat, a steaming cup of coffee in one hand and a newspaper on the other. His mother was as usual ordering around the maids to serve the breakfast in time. When she noticed her eldest son walk in, she sweetly smiled at him and said

"Good morning son. Did you sleep well?" Sungyeol politely nodded and answered

"I did. How about you eomeoni?"

"Well. Sit down honey. Where is Dayeol?"

"He's still in his room. Good morning Abeoji"

His father, as always, only flipped his newspaper without answering. Something he usually did everytime Sungyeol walked in the same room as him. Sungyeol could've been the air it wouldn't make much difference for his father.

"Sit down son", repeated once again his mother but Sungyeol only smiled at her and said

"Sorry eomoni but i have to go. Woo hyun hyung is waiting for me."

"But at least have something before you leave."

Sungyeol was about to answer but Dayeol chose that particular moment to appear and Sungyeol could've sworn that the room temperature escalated a bit more. Clearly he was unwanted. With a sly smile, he kissed her mother's cheek and walked out of the house silently saying he'll have something on his way to Woo hyun.

The cold breeze that greeted him the minute he walked out made him regret having so little on him but he couldn't really complain. In truth, the numb feeling that the cold gave him made him feel human. If only it could numb the pain he felt everytime he was rejected by his own dad and brother, it would've been perfect. He wasn't suppose to meet Woo hyun not until an hour. So he sat at the bus stop, his headset on, and then took the opportunity to reflect on what he was going to do to confess. He knew it wasn't exactly a wise choice cause even if things went his way and he started dating Myungsoo, his family would never accept it. Mainly his dad and brother. His mom, he was sure would be on his side, though her words wouldn't have much impact on the other two mens of the house. But it was always reassuring to have someone in the house that wasn't against him. He was still going back and forth in what he was suppose to do when Woo hyun appeared. Pushing aside the bag that was left on the bench next to him, Woo hyun asked

"So why did you call me?" Sungyeol took the headset off and silently pulled out his phone before handing it to Woo hyun. As expected, it didn't take long for Woo hyun to understand what was behind the picture he showed him. He wasn't his best friend for nothing.

"What is the meaning of this? Ya, does Myungsoo know about this?" Woo hyun asked waving the picture of the painting he did the other night in front of him. From the way Woo hyun frowned, Sungyeol knew that the older guy didn't like it at all. And to say the least, Sungyeol was already doubting himself if he did well exposing so much in that one painting.

"No. He didn't understand the meaning behind it." Woo hyun let a frustrated sight and asked

"What were you thinking by doing this? You know you can't tell him about your felings. What if he turns you down? Or worse, use your feelings to blackmail you?"

"He woudn't do that. He's not like that."

"Are you sure? You better than anyone should know about his personnality. All these years watching him didn't learn you that he can't be trusted?"

"It's just a mask. Hyung, he's different. The way he's with me it's different."

"Ya, Have you gone mad? Are you even listening to yourself? Ahrg! Why do you always pick people you shouldn't? Do i have to remind you what he did to many, many girls that fell for him?"

"Hyung, i'm not a girl."

"But you sure act like one. Do you think i didn't realize that you're getting more and more obvious about your feelings for him? It's a dangerous game you're playing Yeollie. Just... just get away from him before you get hurt."

Sungyeol stared longer than he should at his hand then in a blank tone, he answered

"Why shoud i? Why should i give up?"

"Yeolli.."

"Why can't i be loved by him? Is it so hard to love me? Am i not good enough to change him?" Sungyeol interrupted him dryly.

"Yeollie it's not what i mean and you know that. I just don't want you to ge hurt."

"Isn't it normal for me to get hurt? Isn't love suppose to hurt?" Woo hyun remained strangely silent for a moment and Sungyeol wondered if he was even listening. Swallowing with difficulty, he turned to Woo hyun and was surprise to actually see him smile. It wasn't a bright smile like he was used to but it was a smile nonetheless. Woo hyun then affectionately ran his hand in Sungyeol's hair and said

"You're right. I'm sorry, i shouldn't be this pessimistic. If that's the case, go for it. And if it doesn't work, you have me to comfort you now don't you? Isn't that why i'm here?" Sungeyol couldn't help but smile at his hyung's word. The warmth behind these words were indeed what he needed to encourage, that no matter what, he was going to be ok. He had to.

"About it, are you meeting Myungsoo today?"

"Yeah, in a couple of hours from now."

"Daebak, you don't waste time now do you?" Woo hyun playfully said with a laugh. Sungyeol gave him an embarrassed smile and explained briefly

"I was afraid i might change my mind if he wait too long. You know what a coward i can be sometime."

"Yeah, i know. Well then i guess all i can say is, good luck. So what are you planning to do with him?" Sungyeol only smiled at the question which brought more curiosity to the older guy.

Sungyeol met up with Myungsoo around lunch at a cafe not far from an amusement park. Myungsoo came in, of course, a little late but Sungyeol didn't really mind it. He then had the time to think throughly on his plan.

"Hyung, have you been waiting for a while?" Myungsoo politely asked as he walked in. It was quite weird to see how much Myungsoo had change. Back in the days, Myungsoo would've certainly be rude and mean in every occasion. So it was really refreshing to see him so polite. Sungyeol wouldn't be conceited and said he was the cause of it, although he silently wished he was.

"No, not really."

"Sorry i'm late. I couldn't catch the bus so i had to take a cab and well you know how busy the streets in Korea can be."

"It's ok, let's go?"

"Where?" asked Myungsoo with a frown.

"Just follow me will you?" 

"An amusement park? Seriously? What are you? Three?" Myungsoo sarcastically asked with an amused expression. Sungyeol glared playfully at him and said

"Ya, is that a way to talk to your hyung? And why are you talking informally to me? Do you want to die?"

Myungsoo laughed arrogantly at the empty threat and surprisingly turned out to be the one to lead the way. They did about every attraction in the amusement park. Excluding of course the couple's attraction. Sungyeol would lie if he said he didn't enjoy himself. He was seriously having the time of his life. Of course, Myungsoo pretended he was forcing himself in most of the activities but Sungyeol knew better. They were both enjoying themselves. And it was quite pleasant to just be themselves and play like the kids they couldn't be.

"Wait here, i'm going to get us something to drink", Sungyeol finally said when they were resting at a bench near a vending machine. When he was far enough, he pulled out a printed photo of the painting he did the other night and mentally encouraged himself of the next step he was going to do. The night was getting chilly and not many people were still there, so it was safe for him to confess right? At least, he hoped it was.

"Here", he said while handing him the can of soda as well as the photo. With a frown, Myungsoo asked, taking the handed items

"What is this?"

"Can you just take a closer look at the painting? I need your opinion on it", Sungyeol said nervously. Myungsoo looked at him skeptical for a couple of second then complied as he studied more intensely the photo. From the way, he stared perplexely at the photo, clearly he wasn't getting the meaning beind it all. And it just added more to Sungyeol's nervousness.

"Sorry Hyung. But i still don't get it."

"It's ok, there's no rush".

"Oh, wait here for a sec hyung, i'll be right back", that said, Myungsoo simply took off, leaving a rather tense hyung. Sungyeol ran frustratly his hands through his hair and wondered out loud

"Aish, damn it, what do i do now? Should i wait for him to uncover the meaning behind the photo? Or should i just said it out that i like him?"

The longer Mungsoo took to arrive, less was Sungyeol confident about confessing his feeling to the younger guy. The same thought kept running through his mind. What if he got disgusted and rejected him? What if he would laugh it off and thought it was joke? Would he then have the courage to say it wasn't?

Since Myungsoo took forever to come back, Sungyeol decided to go and check up on him, just in case, he lost his way back. He easily spots him in company of who he quickly realize was Sunggyu, Hoya, Dongwoo and Sunjong. Clearly, whatever they were talking about had to be unpleasant for Myungsoo to look that angry. Sungyeol seriously thought about turning around and walk away but somehow he was curious to know what they were talking about. He knew it wasn't right to eaves drop but Myungsoo reaction to whatever the others told him was certainly important for him to scowl that much. Anyway, now that he was here, why not go and say hi. He then silently approached when he stopped on his track when he heard Sungjong said

"Don't lie. You like him don't you? Just say it."

"Like who? Sungyeol? Are you joking? He's a guy, Sungjong ah. It's digusting what you are implying. Listen carefully, he's nothing to me. He's just the end ball of our bet. So tell me why would i like him? What is it about him that could possibly make me waver from my goal?"

"Myungsoo..." Dongwoo started but Myungsoo wouldn't let him finish as he continued angrily saying

"No wait. You're right actually. I do like him. But not as a person more like someone about to win a lot of money because of him. So why the hell should i give up the bet for an idiot like him? Just because i call him Hyung and pretend to be sweet and polite doesn't mean i'm going to lose this bet. So don't be stupid and think i have any kind of feeling for that guy. Even if we were the only two people on this earth, i will never love another guy. I'm not a ."

"Myunsoo!" Dongwoo suddenly raised his voice as he looked behind Myungso, to where Sungyeol stood. To say he was shock was very far from what he was feeling that particular moment. No, actually he felt like the biggest idiot on the entire planet. How could he for one second think that Myungsoo was any different from what he was really. A jerk. A heartless bastard. What a fool he was. And to think he defended him and even praised him in front of Woo hyun. What a ing joke.

Myungsoo stood speechless as he stared at Sungyeol. Though Sungyeol didn't expect less from him. Of course he would look this horrified. He just got discovered before winning the bet. What a shock it should be, he ironically thought. Slowly, he walked up to Myungsoo and asked

"So that was the reason for your sudden interest in me."

A step forward.

"Wow you really got me."

Another step forward.

" what a joke. I must have look like a bloody idiot huh. Well, at least you've had a good laugh about it all. Hope you enjoyed yourself, Kim Myungsoo shi. I hope you had the time of your life", he angrily spat before turning away, throwing the pictures of them together on the ground, feeling even more disgusted with himself than he ever did before. So much, that he was honestly surprised that he didn't at least punch Myungsoo. He was grateful he didn't in the end. God knows what would happen if he threw the first punch. For sure, things will get extremely bloody and if there was one thing Sungyeol hated it was violence. So, swallowing back just the bit of dignity he still had left, he left. Anywhere but here.