In a way, I was glad that my internal organs felt like they were turning inside out. It reassured me that I was being punished for hurting the lone male that stood outside my door because if I felt like this, I could hardly imagine how he was feeling.

"You didn't mean anything you said to him, did you?"

Yoongi's quiet voice broke me from my trance. He was leafing through the newspaper, which was a strange sight to see at nine in the night, his feet propped up onto the coffee table.

I pretended to busy myself with cleaning the spotless kitchen counter, rubbing the smooth surface with a blank face. I didn't want to answer him. I was already embarrased that Yoongi had to see me like this.

It made me feel weak.

"Not answering me won't solve the problem Yuri." Yoongi neatly folded the newspaper, waiting for me to turn around and confront his question. "Living life as someone else? You can't blame him for that when you're doing the same thing."

"The same thing?" The rag was out of my hand at this point. I had whipped it at Yoongi's head, but the idiot managed to dodge the treacherous object.

"How could you say that out of all people Comrade Yoongi? We have no choice but to lie. Our whole existence is shaped around ing lying."

He should know. Out of all the people, he should have known.

"I know." He said. "I just feel like some of the things you said to him weren't needed."

"Everything was needed. I know he wouldn't give up unless I told him what I told." I swallowed, trying to clear my throat that had become thick with emotion. "I'm sorry I brought you into this. But I need this to be the last time I see him."

It was quiet for a moment after that. My eyes were locked with Yoongi's and I was surprised to see them downturned in sadness, a sight that I wasn't used to seeing.

What he said next came out as a hushed whisper, his eyes trailing to the ground. "It hurts you just as much as it hurts him." He shut his eyes, sinking further into the couch as if he was preparing to sleep. "I don't want you to hurt."

I almost didn't catch his last statement. I think he was hoping I wouldn't.

But his words carried truth. I denied it because I didn't have time to wallow in emotions