Part 24 ⧫ Foreboding

fore·bod·ing

/fôrˈbōdiNG/

noun

Fearful apprehension; a feeling that something bad will happen.

_______
 

The days passed quickly after that, and before I knew it, there was a little more than two weeks to the final exams, which happened in the beginning of July. Summer vacation would soon follow, and then university -- which I was frankly not ready for. In fact, sometimes I would still myself in elementary school, not high school.

Days grew busier, studying become something that took up most of my time, whether it be studying alone or together with Baekhyun, at times Chanyeol, and even Jihyun. Despite the tight schedule, I found myself happier than I had ever been in seven years. After the “date” at Cheonggyecheon (to think of it now, it wasn’t even super date-sque, and Baekhyun disappeared from the room mysteriously anytime anyone referred to it as a date), there had been no other time to waste simply for pure joy or fun, but studying with Baekhyun or Chanyeol was enough, really.

Surprisingly, Chanyeol had been the first person to drop the teasing, though Jongin had somehow gotten my number and each new day brought one text from him: BaekSeul. I wasn’t even sure how that had become a word; though now Jongin never missed a day to remind me. He was even worse than Kyungsoo sometimes, though Kyungsoo’s angelic smiles still sent shivers down my spine. Despite that, however, I would be lying if I didn’t say that was happy, completely happy.

Despite Jihyun’s persistence that Baekhyun was considered my “boyfriend,” I still found the thought hard to swallow. Nothing was different; we still fought ninety percent of the time we were together, threw stuff at the other, insulted each other with “stupid” and “idiot” whenever we could -- just like before. So truthfully, there was nothing new except the knowledge that I wasn’t hopelessly crushing on someone I’d expect never to like me back -- and that knowledge was enough. Knowing the simple fact was enough to make me want to smile at random moments throughout the day, to grin for no reason.

“Let me get this straight,” Jihyun repeated for what was the nth time in the past ten minutes. “He asked you on a date, kissed you twice and you still don’t consider each other as boyfriend and girlfriend? Did you hit your head somewhere?”

I tried to solve the equation in front of me and ignore Jihyun’s blabbering; it was pretty much impossible, even if I had been putting up for it for years. This was even worse than the time I had admitted my crush on Choi Minho to her; this was pure horror.

“Calculus,” I tried to say, “Lemme do my homework. Studying. Exams.”

Jihyun picked up my calculator from the table and chucked it at my face. She missed; though it struck me on the shoulder instead. It dropped in front of me, right next to the page of homework I was currently working on, so I didn’t bother moving it again. Jihyun, who had originally come to the library to study, hadn’t even taken her homework out of her backpack yet. “Is this more important than your boyfriend?” she demanded, in a much more passionate voice than expected from a conversation like this. It kind of scared me. A couple of heads turned, and I stared at the worksheet in front of me and tried to pretend I didn’t hear her. I don’t know her, I wanted to say. She continued on. “And that doesn’t answer my question. Did you hit your head somewhere?”

I punched in the numbers onto my calculator and tried to ignore Jihyun’s existence, though my finger slipped on two numbers and I had to clear the whole equation. She prodded me with her pencil, which was sharpened. “Ow!”

“Answer the question, .”

“Let me work.”

“I’ll fight you.”

“...”

“I’ve taken taekwondo lessons.”

That wasn’t a lie, but even Jihyun wasn’t insane enough to whip out her crazy martial art skills in a middle of the library with bookcases and people all around us. And despite the fact that I really did want to talk about Baekhyun -- hell, I could talk about him all day and not get tired of it -- I really did need to study. My marks in two subjects had already dropped to mid eighties, and I couldn’t afford that on the finals. “Shut up,” I said instead, and turned to stare at my homework with all the self control I could muster. “And stop talking about Baekhyun.”

“Can I meet him?”

“Shut up.”

“You’ve gone crazy,” Jihyun finally concluded. “I looked online a bit yesterday, and I wrote down a list of counsellors.” She reached over and patted me on the shoulder. “It’s okay, I’ll support you, friend.”

“I don’t--”

“I’ll fight you right now if you say you don’t like him.”
 

“I--”

I wasn’t sure if it even was a coincidence anymore that my phone rang at that moment, and when I saw who was calling, I wanted to melt into the floor and die. Out of all people, after Jihyun’s non stop pestering, did Baekhyun really have to call right now? And with Jihyun watching me like there was no tomorrow… well, I was really ready to die now. I stared at my phone once and reached to swipe the decline button… but before I could do so, Jihyun snatched it away and pressed accept.

“Hi!” she called cheerily into the phone, and I froze, completely unable to move anymore, every part of me freezing. It took me quite a while to understand what was happening at the moment, and after that, a little more time for my brain to properly respond to the facts. Please, I thought to whatever being above that could possibly be listening at the moment. Please, this isn’t happening.

“Jihyun…” I tried to say, but before I knew what she was doing, the phone was on speaker. She set it on her side of the table, where I couldn’t reach, and Baekhyun’s hesitant voice sounded on the other side. “Who’s this? Iseul?”

“End the call!” I tried to say to Baekhyun, but Jihyun was quicker. I didn’t understand how it took so long and so much explaining for her to understand schoolwork, yet she was so unbelievably quick about something like… this. “Iseul’s friend,” she answered loudly, louder than the volume of which I had spoken, drowning out my voice and the warning. “You’re Baekhyun. Iseul talks about you a lot.”

Screw life.

“Hang up!” I tried again, but Jihyun picked up something from her backpack and threw it at me. It efficiently muffled my voice and cut me off, and I was pretty sure she would throw her whole backpack at me if I tried to say anything else.

“... okay?” Baekhyun replied, voice slightly distant. I could hear background noises; cars honking, and a familiar deep voice in the background that belonged to Chanyeol. “Uh, is Iseul there? I need to ask her--”

“Nope!” Are you actually?

“When is she back? I was going to ask her if she wants to--” Hang up, Byun Baekhyun. For the sake of my life. And yours.

“We’re at the library,” Jihyun interrupted, and I tried to reach over the table and snatch the phone from her hand. From under the table, she kicked me -- rather hard, which threw me back onto my chair before I could grab the phone. She raised a hand threateningly, like she was going to hit me, then turned her attention back to the call and Baekhyun. “You know, she was just going to phone you and ask you to come and study with us.”

“Ji-” Another pencil sailed towards my face, and I could barely finish the word without having to duck. She mouthed shut up or else at me.

“Really?” Baekhyun’s voice sounded, and I mentally groaned before straightening up. I cursed him for sounding so excited. Jihyun was, to some extent, worse than Chanyeol or even Jongin, and she wasn’t the least bit shy around strangers. I almost pitied Baekhyun for probably having to face her today. “Is it okay if I bring Chanyeol along too? He’s with me at the moment, and I doubt he’d do nothing about being le