Part 17 ⧫ Discombobulate

dis·com·bob·u·late

/ˌdiskəmˈbäbyəlāt/

verb

Disconcert or confuse (someone).

_______
 

Despite his still-healing ribs, Baekhyun was as elated as ever when he got back to school.

I couldn’t figure out how and why he was so excited to get back to school out of all places, but then again, I was in no place to judge him because I was undoubtedly happy that he was back. Even Mr. Choi couldn’t help smiling and welcoming him back. I was pretty sure that Mrs. Song was ready to throw him a welcome party.

I wasn’t sure how Baekhyun did it, but he was friendly with everyone in the school and he rarely ran out of patience. The one time I had walked to class with him, he had waved at just about fifteen people. He was so calm at school, so collected around other people that I had an extremely hard time seeing him as the boy who had broken down in front of me on that hidden rooftop so long ago. His smile always seemed genuine, and he smiled for more than half the time.

After the hospital incident, slowly but gradually, I realized that my time spent at school was beginning to lean towards with Baekhyun and his friends. I was introduced to Do Kyungsoo, a seemingly shy boy with owlish eyes and a heart shaped grin, who also liked to strangle both Chanyeol and Baekhyun when they did or said something stupid (Kyungsoo’s strangling skills were rather professional; Chanyeol had begged him once not to and profusely apologized at least five times). Jongin, however, was the closest with Kyungsoo, and after that introduction, I noticed them walking together a lot more -- something that had slipped my mind before. Joonmyeon had his own friends, but as Jongin's older brother, he knew all of them relatively well.

Lunchtime was no longer spent alone on the rooftop — it was Wednesday the following week that Baekhyun had dragged me to sit with them in the cafeteria. Despite protesting at him and saying I shouldn't, I couldn't help but feel happy as he hauled me towards the table. Jongin said something that made Baekhyun's ears go red and excuse himself to go to the washroom, while I attempted to hide behind my hair. Chanyeol snorted and Kyungsoo hit Jongin over the head with his bag.

What was a supposed dull year for me began to lighten up, and I unknowingly found myself smiling more, snapping less at others, and gaining the new ability to put up with Jihyun's sarcasm. Some things began to fade away; I caught myself on a couple occasions without the normal pocket knife I brought if I ever left the house after dark, and the fear that was once there beginning to grow smaller and smaller.

Baekhyun's mood swings became less frequent, and despite the break between his friendship with Chanyeol, it was as good as ever now.

Winter had already begun its slow but certain process of fading into spring, but to me, summer had come already.

***

"You need social skills," Baekhyun decided one day in a voice that said I’m more superior than you. “Because yours are non-existent.”

I scowled at him, looking up from the history textbook that was currently spread out in front of me. I was tired; the letters were blurring into pictures in front of my eyes and the coffee Baekhyun had offered me was doing nothing to keep me awake -- if anything, it just made me feel even more sleepy and cringe at it’s bitterness (“Orange juice would do a better job,” he said in a certain voice. “But it was a coffee shop so I got you coffee instead. It’s black coffee, and it’s pretty strong. You did say you were tired, right?”).

Chanyeol had suggested studying, seeing that final exams were drawing up soon. Half of me expected Baekhyun to object like he obviously would’ve a couple months ago and claim that he had no time for something ‘useless like studying,’ but the shorter boy had agreed oddly quickly to meet up with Chanyeol and I at a library. In fact, Chanyeol still hadn’t appeared and Baekhyun was on time.

Something in my heart seemed to flutter when he held out the coffee awkwardly, refusing to meet my eyes, claiming that he had “accidentally ordered one too many and that he couldn’t drink two.” I couldn’t even think of a worse excuse, but I took the coffee happily. Despite its bitterness, there was still something sweet about it.

“I’m not exactly a social butterfly like you, but I honestly don’t mind about that,” I muttered into my book. “I’m not pretty enough to be a butterfly anyways.”

Wait, did I just call him pretty?

Possibly.

Okay, Baekhyun isn’t pretty. I mean, he’s cute and undeniably good looking and his smile is really infectious--

Horrified by my own thoughts, I forced myself to glare at him and hope my cheeks weren’t red or even in any way pink. “You’re not pretty enough to be a butterfly either,” I exclaimed. Okay, that was not smooth.

Baekhyun snorted indignantly. “And if I’m a social butterfly, then does that mean you’re a moth?” he asked, avoiding the question about being pretty. If I were him, I wouldn’t be worrying about my looks anytime soon.
 

“I’m not a moth.”

“Moths are attracted to pretty things,” he said, in an obviously joking matter -- not even in a flirting way, but it was enough to make my cheeks heat up involuntarily. Hoping to divert his attention from my face, I raised my notebook and whacked him fairly hard across the back of the skull with it, like all of this was his fault. Baekhyun let out a shriek of pain and swatted at my hands in a desperate attempt to get me away from him. I didn’t even have the time to get over the surprise that this kid thought that moths were attracted to ‘pretty things.’ It was pretty much common knowledge that moths were attracted to light.

“You stupid,” I said, almost tripping over my own words. “Moths are attracted to light, not ‘pretty things.’ And even if they are, you’re not even that pretty. And even if you were pretty, I’m not a moth. Does it look like I have wings?”

He pressed his lips together in an expression that made him look hurt -- I knew it was a habit of his when he didn’t get his way, or when he was concentrating, probably involuntary by now, but it also made my heartbeat speed up (probably involuntary too) and my whole body feel unbearably warm. He looked… well, there was a strong resemblance to a kicked puppy. If Baekhyun was really as good as singing as I thought he was, there was nothing stopping him from becoming an idol, really. I brushed the thought off as soon as it surfaced; I couldn’t exactly imagine Byun freaking Baekhyun as a famous singer. The thought couldn’t compute and I wasn’t going to wait for it to, either.

“Stop calling me stupid,” he whined, obviously unaware of the mental damage he did to me and my heart after what he had just said. “I’m probably stupid because I’m losing brain cells from the excessive amount of times you hit me almost everyday.”

“Nothing compared with the amount of brain cells you’ve probably made me lose by all the stupidity coming out of your mouth,” I snapped back.

Baekhyun frowned as if he was taking time to process that sentence. “I memorized the whole periodic table,” he insisted stubbornly. I figured that was his retort to me every time I insulted his intelligence. “So stop calling me stupid.”

“We’ve already established the fact that that doesn’t prove anything!”

“The continuous nineties on my test do, though.”

“If you listen carefully, you can hear me not caring.”

He crossed his arms and glared at me, and then after a moment's’ hesitation, picked up his eraser and chucked it at my head. I didn’t have enough time to duck, but his aim was horribly off and it hit me on the shoulder instead, then fell to the ground with a rather sad thunk. I bent down, picked it up, and threw it back at him. My aim was worse; it landed right in front of him, not even touching him.

“Stupid,” he teased.

“You’re stupid,” I snapped back, brain moving to autopilot. This was probably going to go on for a while, my subconscious supplied usefully, studying the history textbook completely and utterly forgotten.

“Stupider,” he replied before I could even finish my own word.

“Stupidest.”

For a moment, I thought I had finally got to say the last word for once, but after a moment of slight hesitation, Baekhyun blurted out, “Stupider-est.”