Maybe I'm too tired

Pain behind a song
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hello!

sorry for not being here in a long time.

Hope you enjoy!!!!!

love ya lots!

-seiyoung

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"Sometime when I look at the stars, I wonder how they always manage to shine, I try, but I can't."

White. That was all Sehun saw when he woke up.

Dizzy. That was all Sehun's head felt. 

Pain. The feeling that traveled through his arms when he moved them. 

Scared. That was all Sehun felt when he realized what had happened. 

The soft sound of the door opening made Sehun turn his head. 

"Oh, Sehun-ah, you're awake. How do you feel," asked Suho gently. 

"Hyung, do you," started Sehun,"know?"

Suho's eyes saddened.  

"Yes, Sehun. So does all the others, but now we can help you. We want to help you, we want to know why you are hurt  yourself," said Suho. 

Sehun started to feel naseous, now that all his hyungs knew, they would surely think he's a freak. They would call him weak and pathetic, all he was to them was a flaw, a burden, a child, a lost cause. 

I told you

You're back

yes. 

Go away, please. Not now

i'm the only one who can help you

 My hyungs are the only one who can help me. They care, they care. atleast they will pretend to. 

your hyungs don't want you. who would want you

You're right. why didn't I realize it. Why. why.why.

the fans are correct. You don't deserve to be in exo. You don't even deserve to live. You are weak, pathetic, ugly, and monstrous. 

You're right. I am pathetic. I am weak. I don't deserve to live. Why am I such a burden to hyungs, they only get hurt. No matter what I do, it just makes things worse. I'm a mistake. 

You hurt your hyungs. 

How could I be so monstrous, my perfect hyungs, All I did was hurt them. 

Sehun started having a panic attack. HIs heart monitor rose and started beeping loudly. Suho felt frozen, all he could do was watch as his dongsaeng was in pain, he felt like he had failed at being his hyung. All this time, he had no idea of how he was feeling. Suho tried helping Sehun and hugged him while whispering words or reassurance. After a while the nurses arrived to sedate Sehun. As he fell asleep slowly he whispered one thing,"I'm sorry hyung". 

Everything went pitch black. 

When Sehun woke up it was night time. Now all his hyungs were in the room, all fast asleep sprawled out on couchs and chairs. He stared at Luhan who was sleeping next to him, sleeping in a chair, with his head on the bed. He

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Floopypuppy #1
Chapter 24: I wish the best for you.
MeAndSehun #2
Chapter 24: I'm genuinely happy for you! I've been reading this story since the beginning and I felt a lot of emotions through your words and kept hoping for things to get better for you that now I feel so so happy to read that you are feeling better. Keep up the good work and take a good care of yourself! You are so brave for coming this far and I feel so proud of you although we don't know each other all that well. Stay safe and I wish for things to get even better for you~
gotbinhwan #3
Chapter 23: hi. i dont know who u are, but u're strong enough to be here ^^ i love u, even we never met. thankyou for being strong & thankyou for exist in this cruel world. maybe we dont know each other, but u know i'm here for u ^^ xoxo
GemGam #4
Chapter 23: oooooh cliffhanger~! hahahah.. u finally updated yess! :D im hoping for the next chapter soon.
cheolliepollie #5
oof
Tirahan #6
Chapter 23: you know that we'll always be here for you right? you're such a wonderful person, a strong one to be exact. to see you're doing well up to this moment, I'd say you're such a hero. I am so proud of you. you did well and great sweetheart, let's keep going. i know it's not easy but hey, you got us on your back. we'll always be there for you. we love you
Amoon_99 #7
Chapter 23: I feel like I can understand your pain because I used to feel the same with my family especially will my parents fight and I could not stand it ... The fights are no longer happens but I still feel bad when I remember ...so l believe that it's a normal for a family to fight ...even when they hurts you with words .. They might say it in a moment of anger ... Maybe Iam asking too much from you when I tell you to bear with it .. But put on your mind that you are a special person and don't feel bad about how you life is because God might have something good for you at the end :)
Falling_Leaves_ #8
Chapter 23: hey... it’s okay to reach out to us for support and help. well always be there. just, i understand to some extent how you’re feeling. every day is like that for me, with my depression. i struggle with myself whether or not to get out of bed, whether or not living is worth it. and some days i come so close to being consumed by my thoughts. it’s okay. it’s not good, but it’s okay. maybe you should reach out to someone in your life, or rant to a friend, or maybe just even do something that you know will help you relax and crack a smile. for me, i watch kdramas when i’m having a ty week and don’t feel like living anymore. i normally feel really numb and disassociated, so i watch a drama that will hit me in the feels. sometimes you just need a good cry, one that will shake you to the core, one that will open the floodgates. if crying helps, cry. you don’t need to be strong, you already are. enduring it makes you strong. please keep enduring.

and your family? i have the same situation. i made a mistake a few years back and it tore my family apart. my mother is always angry with me and my siblings are always fighting with her. we’re breaking ourselves without a care. family is family but it doesn’t mean they are always right. if your situation with your family is unhealthy then by all means, leave. but sometimes you have to endure. that’s okay. it gets better eventually. vent, let people know your misery. it’s okay. let me stress that. you’re human, too. some days are just worse than others. some weeks are just more heavier than the ones before. but it’s okay. it gets better. it has to. that’s what keeps me alive on most days. the fact that this world has to give back as much as it has taken. this pain, this suffering, this utter loneliness and tiredness, this hatred of life—this all has to be worth it at some point. You are not alone. You never will be. Please, if you need someone to talk to, my inbox is ALWAYS open. i want to be a normal teenager as well, some of us grow mature before we are meant to because of our lives and family. i talk myself out of suicide most days, and talk myself into my friends’ open arms. talk yourself down. it’s okay. please keep enduring. i hope that happiness envelops you in a war, hug and stays to keep you safe for a longtime <3
decessus #9
Chapter 23: you aren't made of steel. you're human, you have feelings. your family is making a grave mistake, pushing their child to feeling this way. i can't offer much help. im not too good with words, but this story you wrote had resonated with so many of us. we want to help you, but we don't know how. thank you so much for this story. i hope everything works out in your favor.
hazecraze 930 streak #10
Chapter 22: Thank you for this chapter dedicated to Jonghyun. I wasn't a huge shawol, but I respected him so much as an artist. It really shocked me and it's going to hurt for a few days. I too believe it's important to raise awareness for mental illnesses. If you ever need to talk, feel free to message me. We are in this together.
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