“Look at her, Jongin, isn’t she cute?” A hand reached into the decorated popcorn bag. Chanyeol shoved all the popcorn he could in his mouth, crunching the food quickly as he pointed at a girl that was entering a theater with her friends. Jongin paid no mind as he looked at the selection of food in front of him. “Hey, hey look!” Chanyeol pestered the younger again. Jongin finally eyed him and glanced at another girl he was talking about.

“I’m not interested right now, Chanyeol.” Jongin shrugged his friend off.

Chanyeol gasped, popcorn crumbs falling from the corner of his mouth to his shirt. Brushing them off, Chanyeol stuttered. “J-Jongin, are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” was all Jongin replied with. A light bulb went off in Chanyeol’s head, buzzing and rushing with ideas. He almost jumped up from catching onto Jongin’s recent uninterested behavior.

“You like someone, Jongin?” He wondered, cocking his head to the side. He sneaked a few more pieces of popcorn into his mouth. He noticed when Jongin’s posture suddenly snapped from relaxed to tense. Jongin’s eyes widened a bit as he turned his head slightly away from Chanyeol.

“No, no! Of course not,” Jongin muttered and Chanyeol raised an eyebrow at the odd reaction. He didn’t let it go. He watched Jongin order nachos from the counter where they stood. It wouldn’t be too surprising if Jongin had his eye on someone, Chanyeol thought. Though it would be a bit of a shock at the same time since Jongin never talked about girls he liked.

Jongin turned around to meet Chanyeol’s gaze. He immediately flinched away and hid his light red tinted face from the taller. “Let’s get a seat before the movie starts.” When they made their way to the dark theater room Chanyeol couldn’t help but keep glancing at his best friend. Jongin? Jongin likes someone? Chanyeol wondered what she was like. Was she pretty? Nice? Both?

Chanyeol didn’t even know what Jongin’s type was.

“Stop looking at me,” Jongin mumbled. Chanyeol quickly looked the other direction as if he was never looking at Jongin in the first place.  Jongin found a close spot to the front for the both of them. Taking a seat, Chanyeol smirked at the other.

“What’s she like?”

“Who?”

“The girl you like,”

Jongin became embarrassed knowing people around could hear them. He tried to hush the other, “the movie is about to start, idiot.”

“I’m going to make you answer me, just watch.” Chanyeol whispered before the advertisements started rolling. Jongin sunk a little in his seat after hearing that. He didn’t want Chanyeol to know anything about what he had been feeling for months. He didn’t want Chanyeol to know he was different. Jongin was so afraid that Chanyeol wouldn’t understand. Throughout the movie he couldn’t focus on anything. He was wondering why even bother seeing this movie if he wasn’t that interested. Jongin took more interest in the nachos actually.

Looking up at the screen a few times he watched bits and pieces of the action movie playing in front of the audience. This was the first time Jongin began to wonder what Kyungsoo did on the weekends. Who did he hang out with? Did he have a girlfriend? Jongin shifted uncomfortably in his seat thinking about this stuff. His face twisted in confusion. He wondered why he had to feel this way about another boy.

Why couldn’t he just be normal for once?

With clenched fists Jongin sprung from his seat beside Chanyeol and rushed to the bathroom. There, he collected himself. Slowly rinsing his hands Jongin let his thoughts flow like the water spouting from the faucet. The warm water touched his cold hands in a delightful feeling. Bringing his hands to his cheeks he patted his heated face down. Jongin stared at himself in the mirror for a while before leaving the bathroom.

By this time Chanyeol already left the pitch black screen room to find Jongin sitting by himself in the lobby. Concerned, Chanyeol raced over and placed his slightly shaking hand on Jongin’s shoulder. The look that met with Chanyeol’s eyes threw him off. There Jongin sat on his own and he looked shaken up and scared. Scared of what?

“What’s wrong, Jongin? Did something happen?”

Jongin shook his head then looked away from Chanyeol, “I don’t feel good. I needed to get some air.”

“Alright,” Chanyeol tugged at Jongin’s thick, dark gray jacket. “Let’s head out then.”

The other only nodded as he picked himself up from the tacky printed and stiff couch. When the doors slipped open the two were faced with the crispy wind of December. They simultaneously zipped up their jackets and shoved their fragile, bony hands into their pockets. On the way to the bus stop not too far from the venue Jongin’s thoughts were racing.

He wondered if he should tell Chanyeol everything. Should he spill everything that he had been bottled up for a while now? He wondered if he should tell how Kyungsoo makes him feel; how all he thinks about is Kyungsoo. Jongin just wanted to be 100 percent truthful with Chanyeol. At this point he didn’t care what Chanyeol would say when the feelings were driving him insane.

“I do like someone, Chanyeol.” Jongin finally spoke out loud to break the silence. Chanyeol’s already slightly larger than normal ears perked up even more. He glanced to Jongin and waited for him to continue.

“What’s so special about her?”

“Ah, well…” Jongin’s voice trailed off but Chanyeol wanted to know so much. He was getting so fired up.

“Does she make you feel lost when she’s not around? Is she everything you could ever ask for? Is she beautiful? Is she funny? Nice? Is she talented?” The questions kept coming. Jongin’s lips stayed sealed as his eyes caught the bus driving down the busy road. There was no one else waiting with the two, though.

“Well? Jongin?” Chanyeol pressed on. Jongin’s words burned in his throat. The bus came to a screeching stop. His eyes were stuck in front of him, watching the doors swing up. Warm air danced over the two. Suddenly with all the courage he could muster up Jongin looked up straight to Chanyeol’s eyes.

“He’s… everything I could ever want.”

Chanyeol almost choked on the air he breathed in.

Chanyeol never asked Jongin about who he liked after that. Though, he made sure to let Jongin know it was nothing personal he was just really shocked. Jongin never told Chanyeol anything further about who it was. He figured one day he could probably figure it out.

Christmas silently drifted closer and closer. When December 24^th hit Chanyeol announced to Jongin he had some special news to show Jongin. Curious, Jongin met the other at his house that afternoon and sat quietly on Chanyeol’s bed as he clicked away at his computer. Jongin looked around Chanyeol’s room trying to remember if anything had changed from the last time he had been there. Nothing much, Jongin noted.

“Okay, here, look.” Chanyeol rose from his seat in front of his laptop then ordered the other to take the chair. Feeling curious Jongin did what he was told and peered at the lit up screen. There was an email that Jongin immediately recognized from Korea’s organ donation foundation, KODA. When he read the first two lines he suddenly stopped reading. Looking up at Chanyeol that was smiling at the email, Jongin threw himself out of the seat.

“You’re joking! This is a joke, right?” Jongin exclaimed. Chanyeol couldn’t contain his happy laughing fit.

“Why would I lie to you about his? I’m officially an organ donor!”

Jongin was still so speechless. “When did you do all this?”

“A few weeks ago while I was still in the hospital I made my way to one of the clinics. Of course you didn’t find out,” Chanyeol replied. He replayed the entire process to Jongin. “It’s real, Jongin. They’re sending me a certificate in the mail in a few days.”

“This is great news, Chanyeol,” Jongin nodded, “I’m proud of you.”

“I can help people like you, Jongin,” Chanyeol pointed out. Jongin couldn’t help but smile at the gesture. “Merry Christmas!” The goofy and lanky Chanyeol snatched him into a hug for a second Chanyeol really didn’t want to let Jongin go. He didn’t want to let this moment go, really. Chanyeol had worked so hard going through meetings and appointments and tests just to be in this moment. He just didn’t want to give it up.

“Chanyeol! Can you help me?!” A female voice struck the quiet atmosphere of the room. Chanyeol’s grasp slipped away and Jongin was left standing in the middle of the softly lit room. Sun rays streamed across the carpet and the soft bedsheets and everything else it could lightly touch. Jongin was left in silence. His eyes wandered around the room once more. It wasn’t like he was being nosey; he just wanted something to do.

Sitting neatly on the nightstand by Chanyeol’s bed was a white envelope that caught Jongin’s eye. Was that there before, he wondered. He made his way to the letter and picked it up with curious hands. Confusion rushed through Jongin as he read ‘Baekhyun’ in Chanyeol’s handwriting. Why was Baekhyun creeping back into Chanyeol’s life out of nowhere?

The envelope wasn’t sealed and the even more curious fingers crept around the flap on the back. A piece of paper slipped out back onto the table. Jongin’s eyes skimmed the folded piece of paper, wondering if he should open it or not. What could be on it? He was just so curious. It wouldn’t hurt to know, right?

The paper crumbled as he picked it back up. Unfolding the paper his eyes read the first few words but as soon as he could comprehend the handwriting Jongin heard footsteps leading back to the room. In a panic, Jongin quickly squished the paper back in the envelope and placed it back on the nightstand. Jongin sat down on the bed to make it seem like nothing had happened.

“I’m back! We should go eat downtown tonight!” Chanyeol suggested. Jongin forced a smile.

“Yeah, sounds good,” was all he could come up with. As he left the house with Chanyeol that night all he could think about was the letter. ‘I miss you’ was all Jongin could read. Chanyeol missed Baekhyun? Why? What was going on that he wasn’t aware of? Wasn’t Jongin supposed to know everything? Chanyeol knew everything since the movies a few days ago.

Was Chanyeol hiding something, too?

School days came and went but one in particular shook Jongin up in more ways than one. It was a Wednesday. Chanyeol said he was busy after school so Jongin decided to go home on his own, forgetting about possible threats. Preparing the get on the bus, Jongin was stopped by a hand pulling his shoulder back. He looked over it and met Kyungsoo’s round, light brown eyes.

“Chanyeol told me not to let you go home alone.” Kyungsoo smiled at the other and Jongin couldn’t keep his heart under control when Kyungsoo just showed up out of nowhere. They sat together in silence and whenever Jongin peaked at Kyungsoo he was always staring out the window. He looked happier than when he first met him.

And when they walked down a pretty street together, Jongin’s heart couldn’t even keep up anymore. Though, Jongin felt no pain. He wasn’t dizzy or breathless, he was extremely calm. He knew his heart was beating wildly and wasn’t slowing down. For a while he tried putting it at rest but nothing ever worked. All the while, Kyungsoo looked completely calm and collected.

“How was your Christmas?” Kyungsoo brought up.

“Oh, it was okay. Chanyeol became a donor.” Jongin remembered. Kyungsoo smiled then revealing his straight, pearly whites again. Jongin’s heart was screaming for a damn break at this point.

“Chanyeol seems so perfect. You know, the whole school is pretty jealous of you, Jongin?”

“Huh? Me?”

“Mm, you’re the closest person to Chanyeol. Everybody loves Chanyeol.”

Jongin scratched the back of his neck in embarrassment, “he’s annoying and childish most of the time. I wonder why everyone likes him.” He replied. Kyungsoo chuckled then hid his face in his hands. The laugh brightened up Jongin’s mood. He didn’t know he could make anyone else other than Chanyeol laugh.

“Your commute is pretty long.” Kyungsoo said after another few minutes of walking along the dimly lit sidewalk. “You can see the stars.” Both of their heads lifted to the sky. The stars weren’t all that bright since they were still in the city but they were noticeable. Jongin always caught himself looking at the sky these days and when he did he always thought about Kyungsoo.

In a way, Jongin made sense of it. Do Kyungsoo was like the sky or the stars at night. He was always in sight but always too far still. Jongin’s eyes wandered over to the side of him. He saw the streetlights cascading shadows every which way on Kyungsoo.

For one second, Jongin just wanted to reach out for the stars, Do Kyungsoo. He wanted to touch the midnight sky and feel the soothing darkness collide in his embrace. A finger wiggled from Jongin’s side. There was no controlling, no self-control. Jongin’s hand moved towards Kyungsoo’s. As soon as skin touched skin, Kyungsoo jolted away.

“Watch where you’re going,” Kyungsoo called out to the two guys making their way in the opposite direction. One had knocked into Kyungsoo, Jongin figured.

“ off,” Kyungsoo and Jongin both flinched at the vulgar words. When the others turned around Jongin easily remembered those school uniforms from somewhere. Even though the boys were both wearing jackets to cover most of the outfit Jongin noticed from the emblem sewed on to the sweaters. His stomach churned and then he started to really get nervous.

He draped an extended arm over Kyungsoo’s shoulders then turned around, taking Kyungsoo with him. With a crowd coming towards them Jongin thought maybe this would be the best time to get away from the guys that attacked him just weeks ago. As soon as they passed a few people Jongin rushed Kyungsoo around a corner to another street.

“What’s wrong?” Kyungsoo asked and when Jongin didn’t ask (he was catching his breath from rushing) he started to panic, “are you having an attack? We should get to a hospital!”

“No, no” Jongin said between light breaths. “Those were the guys.”

“Huh? Who?”

“The guys I told you about before. The ones who chased me down in the store, it was them. I remember now.” Jongin sighed in frustration. He began to think about what they should do. Maybe he should call the police? But what could they do?

“I remember, too. Let’s get you home.” Kyungsoo tugged at Jongin’s jacket sleeve to lead the way back to the main street. They both hoped the others just ended up wandering off but their hopes all scrambled away from their heads when the other boys came into sight through the crowd. Kyungsoo pushed Jongin to quickly move the opposite direction so he could follow.

Jongin slid passed other people on the sidewalk with Kyungsoo tailing him. Soon, Jongin felt himself being yanked from behind. He turned his head, scared to find one of the other boys had gotten ahold of him, but he only met Kyungsoo’s gaze. An alley between buildings hid the two in shadows. Truthfully, Jongin’s heart wasn’t pounding from adrenaline anymore.

Kyungsoo’s forehead pressed to Jongin’s chest (which felt like it was on fire). Jongin’s eyes were fixatedly stuck on the crowd moving on by, not noticing the two. He felt Kyungsoo standing so close, pressed against him, but he couldn’t move. His body felt numb, his chest was burning. Jongin was lost in the moment.

When Kyungsoo realized he hadn’t moved away he quickly pushed himself away from Jongin. “Sorry.”  There was a part of Jongin that wanted to take hold of Kyungsoo and pull him back into him but Jongin had never been that forward with his feelings. Frankly, he was still so nervous around Kyungsoo. Jongin came back to his senses when he started to regain feeling in all areas.

“… It’s alright,” was all Jongin muttered. Kyungsoo looked at him worriedly but Jongin dismissed it. “I just got a little scared but I’m fine.” He waited for his heart to calm but it never really did until he got home that night to relive the entire day in his dreams.