The apartment was filled with stark and painful silence after Hyejung’s exit. None of us moved for a long time. An invisible weight crushed down on me. It was almost suffocating. Sehun looked at me apologetically—for letting Hyejung in the room—but he shouldn’t be feeling guilty about that. It wasn’t fair that he was tangled within the mess just for being in the apartment at the wrong time. I was just grateful that he tried to defend Luhan and I to the very end.

I felt Luhan’s hand touch my wrist. “I didn’t say anything to her before she left. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry.” My voice cracked.

“I understand if you leave. Go. Get to Hyejung. She can’t be too far.”

I thanked him with a final glance before I picked up the pace and rushed out of the room after her, brushing past Sehun’s sleeve. With my thoughts barely guiding me and solely running on instinct, I descended down the stairs in fast steps. I gasped for air when I made it out of the building. Spinning left and right, the sidewalk had no trace of Hyejung. It hit me that she probably took her car there and was far away by now.

She was gone.

A part of me had expected her to be sulking somewhere outside the apartment gates, sitting on the cement. Furious for letting her slip away so quickly before I could assert what I wanted to say, I lashed out to hit the gates. It rattled in protest. My hand numbed and I stared at the ground angrily like it was its fault.

The front doors of the building swung open and Luhan was beside me breathlessly at the following second. He must have seen me outside his window by myself. No Hyejung. Just me. “Jinah?”

“Hyejung’s not here.”

Luhan took one of my hands that was balled into a fist. I only noticed then the patch of pink where I scraped off skin after hitting the metal bars on the gates. A dot of red blood appeared on its surface. Luhan covered it with his palm. He looked at me as if wanting to say something, though he was tongue-tied.

“Don’t tell me you’re sorry,” I told him, eyeing him back sternly.

He swallowed down his previous words. “She’s probably on the way to your place right now. Want me to drive you there?”

I considered that possibility to be highly likely. Where else could she go? “It’ll be worse if she saw you with me again. I’ll go alone.”

“Go,” Luhan said, though he hadn’t released my hand immediately. It took him another moment before he hesitantly did. “Be careful. Call me if anything comes up. I’m sure it’ll all work out in the end.”

But he couldn’t assume something like that. How was he sure everything would work out? I wanted to tell him, but no other words left my mouth. Turning away, the last thing I saw was the pain etched over Luhan’s face before I headed for my apartment.

Upon arriving at the apartment, I concluded that Hyejung had been there.

But she was already gone. She left. The things in her room were nonexistent, only leaving behind the furniture—her closet empty of clothes. Her things from the bathroom disappeared. It was like she had never lived there. There was only dust and dirt left behind. I dug in my pocket for my phone and dialed her number. As it brought me straight to voicemail, it was clear that the last thing she wanted was to talk to me.

I pondered over the things that Hyejung had done for me. No one was more supportive, more motherly, more caring—the same person who put a blanket over me if she saw that I slept without one. She deserved much better than me as a friend. It would have been easier if Luhan had liked her from the start and before I met him. The bet wouldn’t have been made. We’d still be friends and it wouldn’t seem like she vanished from the face of the earth.

Though at the same time, I knew I couldn’t find the same happiness if it wasn’t for Luhan.

Exhaling a shaky breath, I begged myself not to cry. I couldn’t cry. No matter what.

“Jinah... Jinah? We’re here. Hello?”

I hadn’t noticed Luhan calling out to me until he waved a hand in front of my face. Snapping back to reality, I realized where we were. Out the windshield was the Maxwell Center. The warm weather was settling finely as the middle of March had just approached, leaving behind slushy snow on the ground. It was good weather for Luhan’s program event.

He was still looking at me with concern when I faced him. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” I uttered. I couldn’t even convince myself that I was okay, and it surely couldn’t fool him either. Climbing out of the car, I didn’t want to feel his gaze burn into me longer.

I wondered if I could even become a worse person than I already was, but there I was—letting Luhan take me to the event as if we were both desperately trying to pretend nothing had happened. It was a day that he was supposed to be happy though I was more like a negative ball following beside him. After Hyejung found out, was it even sane to continue where I left off with Luhan?

“Did you try calling her?”

As we made our way to the building, I swallowed down my nerves in fear that I’d sound broken... if I didn’t look broken already. “I called her so many times. No answer. Just her voicemail.”

Luhan spoke to the man with a clipboard by the door before we were allowed inside. I let him take my hand as we wandered in. The place was bustling with energy that seemed to deflect away from me. “I should tell you,” he began hesitantly. “Hyejung called me this morning and she asked if I was taking you here.”

“What?” I froze at my tracks, pulling him to a stop. “She called you? What did you say?”

“I couldn’t say anything. I guess she took that as an answer because she said ‘okay’ and hanged up,” he explained while I listened attentively. “I would have mentioned to her to listen to your explanation because it would be better if she heard it from you and not from me, but...”

“It’s okay. I’d rather talk to her face-to-face anyway. It would be better. I’ll find her. She can’t hold a grudge forever.” Though I knew very well she could hold a grudge until her grave. Maybe I just said that aloud to reassure myself, even if it was just false hope.

Inside of the building was wider than it looked from the outside, resembling an arena. One part of the space was reserved with tables and chairs where the meals would probably be served. There was a stage set up off to the east. Booths and stalls were stood about with happy workers behind them. The station that caught my eye first was one where students were already crowding around—a robotic arm attached to the table itself that could pour tea.

Turning to Luhan, I at least forced a smile. “Can we leave all this behind for a little bit and have fun?”

He seemed surprised at the smile I was showing him. Nonetheless he held my hand tighter, agreeing with a nod. “Of course.”

We caught up with Jongin and Baekhyun a few minutes after exploring, spotting them giggling over lava lamps. Kyungsoo and Jongdae were by a booth beside a makeshift brick wall.

Tell him about the bet.

I heard my conscience speak. I didn’t try pushing it away because I couldn’t anymore. I’ve ran out of energy to ignore those words that were coming from myself.

I couldn’t linger around Luhan anymore. It felt so wrong if I did. How could I? How could I act this calm on the outside and do nothing when Hyejung was literally gone. I at least had to tell him about the bet. Even if it meant I would lose him too. I knew Luhan so well, but it was odd that I couldn’t imagine what his reaction would be. As unbearable as the thought of being separated from him sounded, it was something I was supposed to do a long time ago.

Watching Luhan converse with his classmates and teachers, I found myself sticking to his side like glue. We had probably looked like a two for one package deal. It was like part of myself knew that the next day, we couldn’t repeat things together as they were. Maybe something in me was trying to make the most out of our time.

By the time lunch came, the boys seized a table and chattered amongst themselves while they waited for the buffet to arrive. Jongin had brought his sister with him and she sat across from me. Jongdae was desperately trying to chat her up while Jongin looked to be trying to kill him with his gaze. I watched in amusement for a while and joined in with Kyungsoo’s little argument with Baekhyun.

Tell him about the bet.

I felt the smile that I had plastered on to my face loose its strength for a split second. I looked at Luhan who sat by my side, teasing one of his friends about something they had said. I didn’t even know if I had the courage to say something let alone form words together to tell him about the bet.

Taking in a big breath, I managed to speak to him. “Luhan, can I talk to you for a second?”

“Sure.” He grabbed his phone from the table and pocketed it before standing with me. “What’s up?”

I did a glance over at the crowd around us and walked aimlessly forward. Luhan followed beside me, matching our paces. “I, umm…”

Just tell him.

“What’s wrong?”

I didn’t notice he was watching my expression until I looked up at him. He could see right through the panic in my face. I had a lack of words despite being the one that pulled him away from our table. It was all becoming evident. His eyes were pooling with concern at this.

“Luhan...” I began, nervously stuffing my hands in my pockets. “I need to say something to y