When I woke up from the nap I didn’t realize I took, the evening had arrived. It was past seven o’clock, according to the time on my phone. I thought I dreamt about getting a missed call from Luhan again, but checking through my notifications as I groggily sat up, there was none. After heading out the bookstore, I picked up food by the nearest Seven Eleven because my stomach was protesting its emptiness. Later, I chose to take the bus that took the long route to my apartment building and I was home by nine.

Hyejung was rushing out of her bedroom as soon as she heard the door close when I walked in. “Where were you?” She looked slightly alarmed.

“I was studying.”

Hyejung took my bag off my hands before I could drop it on the floor by the door. “Welcome back, but... By the way, you should see something on the rooftop.”

She was acting strange. “The rooftop?”

“Yeah, Ms. Choi said there was something you should see.”

It was easy to tell when Hyejung was lying. There was this little smile on her face that she forced and her voice rose by a few pitches. Purely curious at what she wanted me to see at the rooftop, I gave in.

“I’ll be back in a minute then.”

“Take your time though. No worries.”

“...Okay.”

Turning to leave again, I descended up the stairs and passed the fourth floor with heavy steps that made the sound bounce off the quiet halls. There was rock music that my upstairs neighbor played that was even quieter than the own sound of my lazy feet moving and scuffing against the floor.

Climbing the even narrower staircases that led to the rooftop of the building, I paused upon sensing the figure of a person leaning against the wall by the top of the stairs.

Seeing that I came, Luhan pushed himself off the wall to face me. He had this look of uncertainty as he hesitantly bounded a step down to approach me. My breath caught in my throat. I wasn’t even excepting to see him for a long time. I couldn’t process it quickly enough that he was really in front of me, looking tired and exhausted.

But Luhan had been waiting for me.

He spoke with words he chose carefully. “Before you leave, could you at least hear me out?”

I wasn’t planning on leaving anyway. He took my silence as a yes and continued after a shaky inhale.

“I’m really sorry. You’ve probably heard it a thousand times before, but I mean it when I say that I am,” he began, pushing his hair out of his eyes with one hand. “I’m sorry that I wasn’t here for your birthday. I know I promised you that I’d be here, and I’m not even going to try and make excuses, because I promised after all.”

“Luhan, I…” I fumbled over my own words. “I thought you didn’t tell me you left. But you left me a message, and I didn’t even realize. I’m sorry! I feel so stupid—”

“I miss you,” he said, breaking my sudden outburst.

There was a pause as I continued to look at him quietly. A heat that started from my throat and eventually branched out to everywhere made me question if my body wanted to cry. Instead, I closed the distance between us and leveled myself to the same step as him and reached forward to catch him in an embrace. He returned the gesture automatically, giving me a tight squeeze.

“I overreacted. I’m sorry,” I muttered into the front of his shirt.

Luhan smoothed my hair down. “Don’t do that. Don’t blame yourself.”

We remained in the same position for a moment, until I let out a small chuckle to liven up the atmosphere. “Why did you have to go all the way up here if you wanted to talk to me?”

“Because I have something to show you. I was waiting here for what felt like five hours, so you better stick around to see it.”

“See what?”

Luhan pushed open the door that led to the platform of the rooftop with a free arm. When I turned my head to look outside, there was a faint glimmer of yellow in the distance. Before I could make out what it was, Luhan’s hands laid themselves over my eyes to obscure my vision. Already knowing it was some sort of surprise, I followed lead and took small steps towards wherever he was taking me.

He removed his hands, bringing me in front of the lone table on the rooftop with the two chairs that practically collected dust.

“Happy late birthday.”

On a plate was a slice of cake with a candle propped on top. It wasn’t just any type of cake though. I acknowledged the little peaches and strawberries with the chocolate shavings and concluded it to be fruit cake—my favorite. He remembered.  

“I couldn’t grab the entire cake from work. We were all out. Sorry.”

“What are you talking about?” I lifted my head to look at him in some disbelief. “It’s more than enough. Thank you.”

Luhan gestured to it, a smile finally breaking the seams of his lips. “Well, what are you waiting for? Make a wish and try it out.”

He took one of the chairs and I followed suit and sat across from him, leaning towards the cake. I was too glad to think of a wish before I paused and blew the candle light out. Clapping, Luhan pushed me the fork that was on top of a napkin. Carefully jabbing out a piece of the cake with the fork, I let the flavors roll onto my tongue while Luhan waited expectantly for my reply.  

“Wow.” I swallowed. “It’s actually so good.”

“It is?” He seemed pleased at that. Even through our dim lighting, I could still make out the smile that he had to bite down. “Honestly, I didn’t try it before. It was the only kind of fruit cake we had.”

“Then try it.” Before he could protest and insist the whole slice was for me, I was already holding up the fork to his mouth with a piece of the cake balanced on it.

Luhan took in the piece. After a moment of careful consideration, he mumbled a, “Mm-hm!” and nodded in approval.

Mumbling another thank you, I devoured another piece, not realizing I was still hungry until then. Something told me the cake would have been bland and tasteless if it weren’t for Luhan giving it to me.

He laughed. “Are you that hungry? You didn’t eat, did you?”

When I lifted my head to respond, Luhan brushed his thumb over the corner of my mouth to swipe something off. My lip burned where his skin grazed over. Forgetting to blink, I was surprised I even managed a reply. “I got a snack on my way back, but no.  I fell asleep while studying.”

“Were you at the library? The one I work at?”

“No, this other place...” I glanced over his shoulder to avoid his gaze. “I was avoiding you. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry,” he assured, shaking his head slightly.

“I just heard your voicemail today.” I dipped my eyes to the cake, stabbing off another fraction. “I thought you didn’t let me know that you left. I thought you just forgot to tell me. I sound like a brat, I know. I’m sorry. I really am. I felt like I was hanging there. Everyone knew but me. I thought...” I swallowed my nerves down. “I thought I wasn’t even important.”

“We’re friends, aren’t we?” he said again, the same words as he’s already spoken days ago at the library just before I stormed off.

“I know, but still.” Deflated, I shrugged. Finishing another piece of the cake, I chewed and swallowed meticulously to find out how to gather some of my pride again.

“Jinah, you’re important,” he said. “You’re important to me. Of course I would tell you. Don’t think otherwise. That’s a dumb conclusion you had.”

“It was really dumb, I know.” I huffed out a deep breath. Scooping the last of the cake, I held it out for him to take. He ate it gratefully.

“Oh, I found this thing!” Standing, he dug his hands in his pockets. “Come here.”

Leaving the fork idly with the empty plate, I got to my feet and took what he handed to me. It looked like a skinny tree branch. “Is this a sparkler?” I asked, bringing it closer for me to see.

“Yeah. Hold it out to me.” Luhan produced the same lighter he used for my birthday candle and flicked it twice before any fire came out. As soon as he held it against the end of the stick, lights and sparkles were shooting out.

I laughed in glee, feeling like some kid on New Year’s Day. Standing by the railing of the rooftop, I drew patterns in the air with the stick, leaving imprints of gold in the air that vanished within seconds. Luhan lingered beside me, watching the patterns of circles in amusement. Despite the air being cold by that time of night, Luhan’s presence left me warm. I was aware of his steady gaze through the little lighting we had.

“By the way, what did Jumyeon mean at the café?” I asked, bringing up an unanswered question that still waited at the back of my head.

Not comprehending, he tilted his head at me. “Hmm?”

“He was asking if you told me about something.” The sparks visibly died down as it neared its limit. “Do you remember? Is it the same as when you asked me if Sehun told me about whatever you’re hiding from me?”

“I’m not hiding anything!” he claimed. “Well, kind of... But it’s not bad. At least I think so.”

“Can I know what it is then? You looked shocked every time it was brought up, Luhan. I really want to know.”

Luhan leaned against my side, his sleeve brushing against mine. “Are you sure you want to know what I was supposed to tell you?”

“I’m sure.”

“I was supposed to tell you a long time ago.” He shifted almost uncomfortably in his position. “But I left the country and I wanted to tell you when I got back…and if you agreed to go on another date with me.”

“Let’s say I agreed on the date earlier, so what you set up with the cake and this rooftop is our date.”

“So we’re on a date right now?” Luhan grinned.

“Yeah, it’s a date. It’s just us here. Plus you got me my favorite cake and now we’re looking at fireworks,” I concluded, raising the stick higher. I was focused on the tiny sparks that flew off, counting them as they slowly died down.

“If this is a date, I would have made up an excuse to do this.” Luhan boldly extended his hand out towards me. I didn’t know what he was trying to do until he forced my free hand into his, letting our fingers intertwine this time—as if it was the most casual thing. He held our hands near his chest, drawing patterns on my knuckles with his thumb.

My face was probably glowing a bright red and I thanked the dimness off the night for hiding it. I swished the sparkler against the air, making out letters.

“Are you writing something?” he asked.

“I’m writing ‘Luhan is a loser for asking me out through voicemail.’”

“Jinah!” he protested, squeezing my hand tighter.

“I th-thought you were going to tell me your secret!” I brought it up again, just anything to distract me from the fire going through my system.

“How about you tell me something first?” Luhan challenged.

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