I Know I'm Not

Project: Luhan
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chapter twenty I Know I'm Not       ---------------------------

 

 

 

 

A low hum came from the photocopying machine I stood next to. Patiently waiting, I watched the white light skitter across the page I laid flat on the glassy surface.

School began again, signaling a halt to our short winter break. My classes were shoved to the afternoon, saving me from rolling out of bed early on days I actually felt like showing up to classes. Because Luhan’s classes were still mostly during the morning, sometimes he’d wait and linger in the building longer just before my classes started in order for us to even get a glimpse of each other. Other times, he’d wait until I got out of the lecture hall during the late afternoon. Bombarded with school work and new work shifts for Luhan, we didn’t see as much of each other as before.

My phone dinged again from an incoming text. Luhan had been proposing we get lunch together. It took all of my will power to decline him and insist I had to study.

⌜10:11AM⌟
Could we reschedule for another time pls? ^^ I still have to finish all my note taking, sorry

 

⌜10:12AM⌟
I’m frowning but you can’t see. Don’t you need a study buddy though??

I scoffed at his endearing childishness and replied:

⌜10:13AM⌟
Did you forget? We’re not taking the same classes.

Gathering my things, I tucked the papers in the safety of my bag from the cold wind and ambush of snowfall outside. Pulling my hood over my head, I briskly walked back to my apartment building with my hands in my pocket. When the apartment came into view, I broke into a jog in a desperate attempt to hurry in its warmth. My eyes were caught on the white Nissan Altima out by the curb.

Weird. Ms. Choi never parked up front.

I heaved my bag off my shoulders and plopped it on the floor as soon as I stepped into the vicinity of my apartment room. Kicking off my shoes, I noted the quietness of the house, indicating that Hyejung was still out. I fumbled with the buttons on my coat as I entered my room, though jumped back in surprise at realizing someone else was in the room except me.

Luhan was lounged across my bed, his phone in his hand. He innocently acknowledged me with round eyes, looking as if he was caught red-handed with his hand in the cookie jar. “Um, I was going to text you back saying ‘I make good company.’”

I kept forgetting that Luhan owned a white Nissan Altima as well.  

“I won’t distract you, I promise!” he assured as I hung my coat behind the door and pulled my bag along with me.

I put a knee on my bed, signaling that I was going to throw myself on it. “Could you move over then?”

He cooperatively moved himself to the other side of my bed to allow me more space. Settling down, I pulled out the papers I had just photocopied from Junmyeon’s notes and my textbook. Luhan lingered in fascination beside my shoulder, keeping silent and still as he promised. His face contorted at the sight of the odd diagrams across the pages of the book, to my amusement.

Having Luhan in my room sent me into a paranoia as soon as realized the chances of Hyejung coming in were risky. How could I even explain myself if she saw Luhan comfortably on my bed as if it was his daily routine?

“Is Hyejung still out?” I asked myself out loud.

“She’s still out.” He leaned back to fully see the expression on the face. Judging from his reaction, I probably looked pale and drained. “Don’t worry. I made sure before I came in.”

I nodded, assuring myself and keeping my eyes trained on the black and white pages of notes.

Luhan yawned and fluffed the pillow behind him with his elbow.

“I’m sorry I’m not much fun today,” I admitted without looking at him.  We were literally sitting around on a mattress underneath a pile of equations and diagrams printed across paper. Luhan had come over maybe at least expecting we watch TV. If he was bored, it was understandable.

“No, no. Don’t think like that.” Turning on his side, he placed his chin on my shoulder. “As long as you’re here.”

I bit back a cheeky grin. “Are you sleepy though?”

“Honestly, I was up late last night breaking in Sehun’s new game. I am sleepy, but I want to stay up.” As if to prove his point, Luhan slapped his cheek.

“You can go to sleep. I won’t mind.” I reached for the blanket and pulled it over our legs, having to slightly shift all my things to one side and off my lap to do so.

“No, I’ll stay up.” He pointed to a page on the textbook. “Explain this to me.”

The next few minutes were followed with mostly comfortable silence and the occasional conversations where Luhan told me some funny stories involving his classes. I explained concepts off my notes to him when he asked even though I knew he had no clue about what I was talking about. When I caught the sound of a light snore from where he rested against my pillows, I turned my head to see he had finally fallen asleep. It had only been a matter of time anyway, I figured.

Shaking my head, I carefully twisted toward his side to adjust the blanket around him without disturbing anything too much to startle him awake. Luhan looked serene and calm in his sleep, aging him at least three years younger. I reached out to carefully brush the hair away that was framing his eyes. His eyelashes casted shadows over his cheeks. I couldn’t even bring myself to draw on his face with a marker or something as a prank. It would’ve been a crime.

The front door of the apartment room squeaked, allowing entrance to whoever was on the other side. My muscles tensed with my breath caught in my lungs. Freezing, I listened. The door softly slammed shut followed by the sound of rustling plastic and Hyejung’s distant voice.

“Jinah, I’m back.”

Blood pounded in my ears with every footstep that approached my door. The back of my head screamed at me to just move though I remained immobile. My fist clenched onto the blanket at my lap, eyes stuck to the doorknob. I waited for the moment it would jiggle and turn open. I hadn’t locked my room. I switched my sight between Luhan and the door.

This couldn’t be happening. This—

“Jinah?”

The sound of Hyejung’s voice sounding off again finally threw me into alert-mode. Pushing the papers off me, I stood on my knees and bent to pat Luhan’s shoulder. As much as I didn’t want to wake him, there was no way Hyejung was going to find out. “Luhan? Luhan, you have to wake up,” I hastily whispered.

Luhan mumbled something incoherent and didn’t even pry his eyes open. Instead of waking up, he buried himself deeper underneath the blanket. I could feel my heart thudding against my ribs.

“Hyejung’s here,” I warned.

At once, he shot up and out of unconsciousness. Luhan’s sudden motion caused his head to bump against mine. My brain racked, sending me in spins.

I groaned a loud, “Ow!”

Hyejung’s voice was closer than I last remembered. “What happened?”

The raw trepidation in Luhan’s wide eyes matched mine when we locked gazes for a split second.

Hide! I mouthed.

He rolled out of the bed and slipped on his shoes that he left underneath my bed and sprinted to the right side of my room. Double thinking his decision to hide underneath my computer desk, Luhan made a sharp turn to the left towards the closet. I ushered him inside and pushed the sliding door open, gesturing for him to get in with both my flailing arms. He launched himself between the clothes and the junk strewed about the floor.

My bedroom door swung open just as I shut the closet.

I turned to face Hyejung and leaned against the closet in hopes of looking casual.

“You ‘kay? Did you hurt yourself?” she asked, eyes scanning the room for any sign of anything I might have injured myself with.

“I... stubbed a toe.” Coughing once, Hyejung might not have fortunately detected how awkward I sounded. “Umm, where were you all day?” I asked in order to bring up another topic.

“I got them done.” She held up both her hands, showcasing me her freshly manicured nails. It looked to be black with white polka dots. Wandering to my bed, Hyejung plopped herself down. “Did you stay home all day?”

Fear squeezed at my chest, wishing she wasn’t planning on staying long. Or worse.

What if she mentioned the bet?

Luhan still had listening ears despite being self-shoved in a closet. “I was out for like an hour.” I looked down at myself, thinking that my jeans and long-sleeved sweater was evident to that.

Hyejung narrowed her eyes as if inspecting me. I held my breath unconsciously, feeling like she could read the answer behind my awkward words, my strange actions—my everything. It felt as though her stare saw through my soul. “Why are you so antsy?”

My eyes flicked to the right. “I’m... I—”

There was a sound on the closet behind me that was akin to a metal hanger tumbling to the floor. I cringed, praying that Hyejung hadn’t heard it too... Though luck wasn’t on my side.

She stood on her feet, piped up as if hearing a ghostly whisper. “What was that?”

I sputtered the first thing that came to mind. “This thing in my closet that keeps falling off. It’s nothing.”

“Speaking of that, can I borrow your cardigan for tonight? The blue one with the folded sleeves?” Hyejung moved towards the closet behind me. Her hand extended to grab the edge of the door.

“No!”

Surprised at my outburst, Hyejung took a step back and withdrew her hand like she had touched a burning stove. She silently waited for my explanation when I paused for too long.

“I mean, it’s not in there—probably in the laundry. If you wash it now, you can borrow it.”

“Okay, I’ll look.”

As soon as crossed out of my room, I released the breath that had been stored in my lungs. The issue wasn’t completely solved, to my dismay. It wasn’t long until Hyejung would come back and realize the cardigan she wanted to borrow wasn’t in the laundry after all. Luhan couldn’t hide until she left the house either. He’d have to get out now.

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WholesomeRain
#1
Chapter 29: I’m so late to this story, but I just wanted to say I enjoyed it a lot! Jinah and Luhan were adorable! Luhan is such a cutie~~ This story made me so stressed at parts tho, I just wanted to scream at her to just tell him already!! I’m really glad I finally read this tho^^
XiuminsKnuts
#2
Chapter 29: I love angsty-Han haha.

I really like the persona in this story, a bit more than Marry Me, Maybe, even thought they're so similar. I just feel like this one has a more natural interacti... oh well duh, right bc the other OC and Luhan were pretending the whole time...

LOL well ANYWAY, I really enjoyed this lil' squishy Luhan and everything I've read from you!!!! It was a fun time and I look forward to reading more in the future, should you write it!!
summertwinkle #3
Chapter 29: I don't remember if I have ever left a comment but if I haven't. This is my second time re-reading your story and I will still give you that up vote. I do like the little bonus you put at the end. If the inspiration ever hits, I think it might be fun for you to do an omake chapter from Sehun's point of view since he's Luhan's roommate so he's privy to a lot of insider details whether he likes it or not.
Moonlight_23 #4
Chapter 19: She srsly need to tell him the truth soon
keiracrean #5
Chapter 29: My 3rd time reading it..it felt awesome everytime i read it♥
CaterpillarARMY
#6
Chapter 22: Jinah goes on and on about how nice Hyejung is, and then this happens.
CaterpillarARMY
#7
Chapter 14: Hyejung really irritates me. Luhan does not owe her love, and she cannot dictate how her friend should feel or behave around a guy.
summertwinkle #8
Chapter 29: I like your stories and how you keep it comedic and light despite the drama. I kinda had a feeling it would all work out, it seems like it was fate anyway even without the bet. Jinah was totally interested in pretty eyes too.

But for a moment, I thought Jinah was actually gonna go to San Fran for some quiet time lol. And Luhan would chase her all the way there.
mrspiee #9
Chapter 29: This soooo sweet. Thank you for this lovely story.. I'm not crying.
UrikoSakura
#10
Chapter 29: Awesome! Finally after a long hiatus, i get to finish this. Thanks for the good read. ^^ A good comeback read for me.